This feels just like the first time I read Dante's Inferno, except the character is a lot more personal. I feel like going back to that story now to refresh my memory would spoil the sense of wonder I am getting from this one, so I will wait until it's done. You hinted a ways back that there would be familiar faces showing up for each level or vice and I can't wait to get started. 4447257 Sorry I didn't respond to you on the Gdoc earlier, Beans. It's nice to meet you and this story is an impressive introduction so far. I'm loving it and am very happy for the chance to help a bit with the next one.
nothing terrified her more than the idea that she might have been sent to Equestria’s equivalent of Hell.
This line in particular feels like it's a very telling thing—meant for explain something to us as opposed to an actual thought that Twilight would have. Equestria is the only world that Twilight knows, therefore Tartarus is Hell, although the word "Hell" itself would never be used to describe Tartarus, because Hell is a christian concept, and Christianity does not exist in Equestria. Ergo, I do not believe the word "Hell" would even exist in the Equestrian language. You dig? It might be better to call Tartarus an "eternal prison for the wicked" or something, rather than straight up calling it an "equivalent of Hell." Just pointing it out because it pulled me out of the immersion a bit. We as readers can equivalate Tartarus to Hell, but the denizens of Equestria themselves should not be able to.
Was this supposed to be Tartarus, the great prison of all things evil?
Oh, you already did that. Well, in that case, I think the top-quoted sentence could be totally lost for no consequence. It is rather telly.
The draconequus tomb is a brilliant idea. And the wandering souls. I can feel Twilight's heart racing, her poor mind still trying to comprehend what is happening. Not long ago she'd been just a pony, but now...
4926593 I don't think of 'hell' as a distinctly Christian thing. I mean yes, its origins are from Christianity, but there are tons and tons of things that, for all practical purpose, have no reason to exist in MLP and yet, canonically, do. I look at the word and concept of 'hell' as just one more of those things.
4449944 I haven't read Inferno either but this chapter makes me want to... I have a copy so after I read the 8 (holy shit...) books I promised my family I would read I'll get right to it... (holy shit...8!!!)
Well I am definitely enjoying this so far. I love how you add quotes and references to the original literature into the story. Also I like how the punishments seem to be somewhat different so far. I guess I shouldn't have assumed twilight committed treachery just from looking at the cover, and it seems she's not the only one being unjustly punished
4449998 would you like to do a collaboration fic because you are good and well i have a massive oc/cannon family that has four members with demons that are part of the family's bloodline two with a extra few one that's part angle and a prince off hell just asking because i like this style and dante's inferno is a great game i really need to read it
So the first time that I read chapter 1, I wasn't quite sure what to think. I hadn't yet read TvE, and was unfamiliar with the world and the events therein. But this was where the story really started for me.
The feeling of Twilight being completely alone, wandering around in the cold mausoleum, with the dust filled air, is just such a powerful image to me. Gave me a very Silent Hill vibe. Especially loved her slowly mounting horror at realizing that something is seriously wrong.
Though I thought then, and still think now, that the "You're just a changeling!" explanation still feels more like it's for the audience's benefit than the narrative's.
This is really, quite good. It's been half a decade since I've read the Inferno, so most of the references probably sailed over my head, but diamond Dogs being crushed by the gems they lusted over in life and feeling a kind of tortured fulfillment is very Dante. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Okay so reading this chapter has reassured me that your Tartarus and my Tartarus are nothing alike. In contrast the Tartarus I have planned of my story is somewhat tame compared to the picture you've drawn here.
I'm almost disappointed at myself for not thinking of more gruesome things to put in my Tartarus.
But like I said before... I started this story looking for inspiration and violence....
4927150 The concept of an underworld with aspects of punishment is anything new, but there is another Hell. More properly, it's Hel and very pagan, but the kind of atmosphere it has is very similar. I wouldn't say it's that out of place as a concept to use.
With this chapter, the prelude ends, and Twilight's Inferno begins.
This feels just like the first time I read Dante's Inferno, except the character is a lot more personal. I feel like going back to that story now to refresh my memory would spoil the sense of wonder I am getting from this one, so I will wait until it's done. You hinted a ways back that there would be familiar faces showing up for each level or vice and I can't wait to get started.
4447257
Sorry I didn't respond to you on the Gdoc earlier, Beans. It's nice to meet you and this story is an impressive introduction so far. I'm loving it and am very happy for the chance to help a bit with the next one.
4449292
4447257
That right there is what I call 'high praise.' You make me . I'm sure El Beano is thinking the same thing.
Then rejoice, for the familiar faces begin with this evening's update! One of which I bet most people won't be expecting...
I'm hoping that your cover art, as awesome as it is, doesn't spoil too much of what's coming up.
Haven't read Dante's Inferno, so anything coming up is going to be a surprise.
Ew, a tomb of chaos spirits and a well of tortured, psychotic souls. Lovely start.
It's a testimate to Discord's character that I feel as bad for him as Twilight does. He's an evil douche, but a lovable evil douche.
New poni? New poni!
4449944
He is lovable, isn't he? Still can't believe Celestia and Co. sent him after Tirek without any 'moral' support from, say, Fluttershy.
4449292
Likewise I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Sir Hopeless. I look forward to working with you in the future.
Ohh my......
Celestia, he was having fun in a chaotic way, not murdering ponies. Bad Celestia. Go to your room missy.
4521170
This comment leads me to wonder if you've read TvE yet...
This line in particular feels like it's a very telling thing—meant for explain something to us as opposed to an actual thought that Twilight would have. Equestria is the only world that Twilight knows, therefore Tartarus is Hell, although the word "Hell" itself would never be used to describe Tartarus, because Hell is a christian concept, and Christianity does not exist in Equestria. Ergo, I do not believe the word "Hell" would even exist in the Equestrian language. You dig? It might be better to call Tartarus an "eternal prison for the wicked" or something, rather than straight up calling it an "equivalent of Hell."
Just pointing it out because it pulled me out of the immersion a bit. We as readers can equivalate Tartarus to Hell, but the denizens of Equestria themselves should not be able to.
Oh, you already did that. Well, in that case, I think the top-quoted sentence could be totally lost for no consequence. It is rather telly.
The draconequus tomb is a brilliant idea. And the wandering souls. I can feel Twilight's heart racing, her poor mind still trying to comprehend what is happening. Not long ago she'd been just a pony, but now...
4926593
I don't think of 'hell' as a distinctly Christian thing. I mean yes, its origins are from Christianity, but there are tons and tons of things that, for all practical purpose, have no reason to exist in MLP and yet, canonically, do. I look at the word and concept of 'hell' as just one more of those things.
4449944
I haven't read Inferno either but this chapter makes me want to...
I have a copy so after I read the 8 (holy shit...) books I promised my family I would read I'll get right to it...
(holy shit...8!!!)
5141353
Just eight? Pfft, come on, that's easy. Then again, this is coming from a guy who read a 1,200 page short story compilation in about a week.
Well I am definitely enjoying this so far. I love how you add quotes and references to the original literature into the story. Also I like how the punishments seem to be somewhat different so far. I guess I shouldn't have assumed twilight committed treachery just from looking at the cover, and it seems she's not the only one being unjustly punished
You also switched over from Windigo last chapter :P Not very consistent, I see..
Interesting ideas, yet still nowhere near as dark as I like it. Let's see if you can appease my tastes.
5339711
Yeah, kept debating with myself on which to use.
4449998 would you like to do a collaboration fic because you are good and well i have a massive oc/cannon family that has four members with demons that are part of the family's bloodline two with a extra few one that's part angle and a prince off hell just asking because i like this style and dante's inferno is a great game i really need to read it
So the first time that I read chapter 1, I wasn't quite sure what to think. I hadn't yet read TvE, and was unfamiliar with the world and the events therein. But this was where the story really started for me.
The feeling of Twilight being completely alone, wandering around in the cold mausoleum, with the dust filled air, is just such a powerful image to me. Gave me a very Silent Hill vibe. Especially loved her slowly mounting horror at realizing that something is seriously wrong.
Though I thought then, and still think now, that the "You're just a changeling!" explanation still feels more like it's for the audience's benefit than the narrative's.
This is really, quite good. It's been half a decade since I've read the Inferno, so most of the references probably sailed over my head, but diamond Dogs being crushed by the gems they lusted over in life and feeling a kind of tortured fulfillment is very Dante. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Okay so reading this chapter has reassured me that your Tartarus and my Tartarus are nothing alike. In contrast the Tartarus I have planned of my story is somewhat tame compared to the picture you've drawn here.
I'm almost disappointed at myself for not thinking of more gruesome things to put in my Tartarus.
But like I said before... I started this story looking for inspiration and violence....
4927150
The concept of an underworld with aspects of punishment is anything new, but there is another Hell. More properly, it's Hel and very pagan, but the kind of atmosphere it has is very similar. I wouldn't say it's that out of place as a concept to use.