Friends, Forgiveness, and Magic
The Twilight Mare
“Once upon a time…in the magical land of Everfree there were two royal unicorns who ruled together and created peace and freedom for all the land. To do this, the elder unicorn used his powers to make crystals rise up from the earth and strengthen the kingdom’s magic. The younger unicorn used her powers to raise the sun to begin the day and the moon to begin the night. Thus the two friends maintained balance for the Everfree kingdom and their subjects, all made up of different types of creatures.
“But as time went on the younger unicorn became resentful. The people laughed and played with the gifts the elder unicorn had given the land, but shunned the younger unicorn and her lessons of magic.
“One fateful day, the younger unicorn left the sun and moon in the sky together and refused to lower either one. The elder unicorn tried to reason with her but the bitterness and loneliness in her heart transformed her into a wicked alicorn of immeasurable magic.
“Eternal Twilight.
“She vowed that she would bring order to the land and rule the kingdom with an iron hoof. Reluctantly, the king harnessed the most powerful magic known to the Everfree.
“The Elements of Redemption.
“The Elements defeated the younger unicorn. But instead of removing the corruption from her as they were supposed to, the Elements banished her to a realm of twilight, between the sun and moon.
“The elder unicorn became king and the Royal Family took on responsibility for both sun and moon and harmony has been maintained in the Everfree kingdom ever since.”
The mare looked up from the book she had been reading out loud to herself. The mare had a midnight black coat and a bluish-purple mane and tail. She had a horn, wings and draconic blue-green eyes. The young alicorn’s hoof rubbed her chin in thought. “Hmm, the Elements of Redemption. Elements. I know I’ve heard of those before. But where?” The alicorn looked at the bright morning sky, trying to remember.
Forgiveness isn’t Tragic!
Redemption is Magic!
I used to think power was all that there could be.
Until you all shared your gifts with me!
Cool adventure!
Freedom and Laughter!
A powerful heart!
Smart and strong!
Sharing love!
It’s an easy feat and magic makes our power complete!
Don’t you know you’re all my friends? No matter what, you’re all my very best friends!
The alicorn walked down the road with her book bag. She stopped when three other ponies called out to her. A blue pegasus stallion, a yellow earth pony mare, and a white unicorn mare. The unicorn said, “There you are Nightmare! Sundancer is throwing a party out in the east castle courtyard. You wanna come?” The three ponies leaned toward Nightmare with excited smiles, waiting for her answer.
“Oh sorry guys,” Nightmare said, offering her best apology smile. Smiles were important to master when you had fangs like Nightmare’s. “I got lots of studying to catch up on. Maybe some other time.” Nightmare dashed off, using her wings to quicken her pace. Behind her, the three ponies grumbled about Nightmare’s preference for books over friends. Still, what can you do?
“Hi Nightmare!” A mint green unicorn mare waved to the alicorn.
“Hi Lyra! Busy now, talk to you later!” Nightmare said as she waved back to one of her few friends. “I know I’ve heard of these Elements before” she muttered to herself. Not wanting to deal with any more distractions, Nightmare flapped her wings hard enough to lift herself off the ground and flew the rest of the way home. When she finally reached her own front doors, she flung them open. Which unfortunately knocked the small red dragon on the other side off his feet.
“Smog? There you are Smog.”
“Nice to crash into you too Nightie,” the dragon grumbled as he removed the present that had somehow imbedded itself onto his tail.
“Quick, find me that copy of Prediction and Prophesies.” Taking a moment to actually acknowledge her surroundings, Nightmare spotted the gift Smog had. “What’s that?”
“Well it was supposed to be a gift for Moondancer. I thought we might see her and her brother at the party.”
“I just found out about Sundancer’s party. How did you find out? Ugh, never mind. We don’t have time for parties Smog.”
“But we’re on a break!” Smog said. Nightmare ignored him as her horn flared with dark blue magic. Several books from the shelves in their home were lifted down towards her. Nightmare held the books in her telekinetic grip and skimmed through each one. As she continued to get frustrated, Smog pulled down the book she was looking for and tossed it to her. Nightmare easily caught it in her magic and read from the book. “Thanks Smog. Let’s see Elements…Elements…see Twilight Mare?”
“The Twilight Mare?” Smog asked as he sorted the books away. “Isn’t that just a cautionary bedtime story? Like The Changeling who cried Windigo? Um, not that I don’t trust you.”
“Better to be safe than sorry,” Nightmare said, picking up another book. “Here it is. ‘The Twilight Mare, a myth from olden times, a powerful pony who wanted to rule the Everfree kingdom. Defeated by the Elements of Forgiveness and imprisoned within the realm between sun and moon for over a hundred years.’ I thought they were called Elements of Redemption? They don’t seem to be very forgiving. Well, better a hundred years than a thousand, I guess. Anyway…‘Legend has it that on the longest day on the one hundredth year the stars will align and aid in her escape. And she will bring about eternal twilight.’” Nightmare gasped. “Do you know what this means, Smog?”
“Time to move to a warmer country? With amusement parks?” Smog joked.
Nightmare allowed him a small giggle at his attempt to cheer her up. “No. Take a letter please,” she said, levitating a pen and some paper to him. “To the king.” Once she saw that Smog was ready, she spoke.
“Dear King Sombra. My continuing studies of magic have led me to discover that we are on the brink of disaster. For you see, the mythical twilight mare is in fact Eternal Twilight. And she is about to return to Everfree and attempt to conquer our kingdom. Something must be done to make sure this terrible prophecy doesn’t come true. I await your quick response. Your faithful student, Nightmare Moon.”
Smog finished writing down the message, breathed in, and spat a small jet of fire on the message. The magical fire wrapped up the message and the thick smoke carried the letter to the king. “Okay, sent. But from what you just described it sounds like the day Eternal Twilight is supposed to return is the same day as the Crystal Heart Celebration. I know that makes this all the more important but don’t be surprised if King Sombra is swamped with work.”
Nightmare Moon nodded. “You make a good point Smog. But King Sombra has accomplished a lot in the past. I’m sure he can make a plan to defeat Eternal Twilight and still get everything for the celebration ready.”
“Yes but he’s just a unicorn,” Smog pointed out. “He might have enough magic to keep him alive for so long but he’s still just one unicorn. You’re an alicorn and pretty powerful for your age. I bet you could take Eternal Twilight down all by yourself.”
Nightmare wasn’t fooled. “One, Eternal Twilight is an alicorn herself. She might be more powerful than me. And two, flattery will not convince me to let you goof off at Sundancer’s party.”
“You’re no fun,” Smog grumbled to himself as he continued organizing their books.
Nightmare smirked. “Aw, come on. You know you love me.” She smiled wider as magical smoke flew through the window and materialized the king’s reply into the room. “See I knew he would want to take immediate action. What’s it say?”
Smog picked up the letter and read through it. He smirked back at Nightmare and said, “Well it sounds like he’s saying to get a life.”
Nightmare paused for a second. The room became shrouded in darkness as she calmly asked, “Care to rephrase that?”
Smog was only slightly intimidated. “Sheesh, learn to take a joke. ‘My dearest, most faithful student Nightmare, you know I value your diligence and that I trust you 100%. But you really need to get a life outside of those old books.’”
“WHAT?” Nightmare’s eyes flashed white as some of the clouds outside their home darkened. “Why’s he calling my books old? He’s older than some of these books are!”
“Let me finish.” Smog said as he took a step back. “‘There is more to life than studying. So I’m sending you to supervise the preparations for the Crystal Heart Celebration in this year’s location of the Village of Peace, better known as Peaceville. And I have an even more important task for you. Make some friends. I know you won’t fail me. Sincerely, King Sombra.’”
And those were the events that lead to Nightmare Moon and Smog being carried to Peaceville in a chariot pulled by two bat-winged pegasus guards. Nightmare was wearing her royal armor, given to her by King Sombra for ceremonies and other important events. The armor was made up of a simple helmet, boots, and chest plate with an emblem of the moon centered on it. The moon was similar to the cutie mark she had before it removed itself, as she grew older. Smog was wearing similar armor built to fit a baby dragon.
“So how many friends do you have besides me anyways?” Smog commented. “I mean there’s Lyra, the king, your old babysitter…who else? Hey, when was the last time you called your mom?”
Nightmare glared at him. “Get it together Smog. Now, the king arranged for us to stay in a library, right?” At Smog’s nod, she continued. “Good. We’re not here to make friends. I’ll check on the preparations as fast as I can and then find some proof of Eternal Twilight’s return in the library.”
As the guards brought the chariot down into Peaceville, Smog noticed some of the frightened looks they were getting. “Oh yeah. I guess the armor looks kinda scary.”
“It’s okay, everybody!” Nightmare Moon called out. “We’re just here to check up on the celebration, nothing more.” As her words reassured the ponies and other creatures of Peaceville, she got out of the chariot, thanked the guards, and bid them farewell.
Smog took off his helmet and tucked in under his arm. “You know it wouldn’t hurt to make some friends. What about that guy? He might even be able to help us.”
Nightmare looked over to where Smog was pointing. The bipedal creature was a little taller than her. He had the head of a pony but with a deer antler and a blue goat horn on his head. He had fangs, one longer than the others, as well as yellow-red eyes, white eyebrows, and a goat beard. He also had the right arm of a lion, the left claw of an eagle, the right leg of a lizard, and the left leg of a goat. On his back the creature had a bat wing and a pegasus wing. The rest of his body was snakelike with a long orange tail at the end.
“A draconequus?” Nightmare’s eyes widened. “They’re supposed to be really powerful but also extremely rare. I read that most of them vanished hundreds of years ago.”
Smog raised an eyebrow. “Thanks for the history lesson. Anyway, all the more reason to say hi, right?” He indicated the draconequus, who had just walked right up to them.
“Um, hi?” Nightmare Moon said to the creature. In response, the draconequus gasped and jumped into the air. His eyes popped out of his sockets and bugged out to cartoonishly huge sizes. His eyes then turned into a swarm of bugs and flew back into his sockets, changing back into yellow-red eyes. He then flapped his wings and flew away from the alicorn and dragon. All this occurred in a few seconds. “Well, that was weird,” Nightmare grumbled.
A little later, Nightmare and Smog were walking towards the underground district of Peaceville. Smog read their official checklist. “Well we covered the banquet preparations for everybody else but we still need to get crystals for King Sombra. Hey, do you really think he eats crystals? I’ve never actually seen him at dinner.”
“He says he does,” Nightmare answered. “This is the last farm for us to check. Clear Crystal Caverns.” The two looked around the cavern, noting the various multicoloured crystals sticking out from the ground, walls, and cavern ceiling. As they were inspecting the cavern, an orange unicorn mare with a fiery mane and tail ran at the wall, turned around, and gave a strong kick to the cavern walls. The force of her kick caused some of the crystals to fall from the ceiling, which the mare caught in her aqua coloured magic and levitated into some baskets.
“Well, I guess she’s the farmer to talk to here.” Nightmare walked towards the orange unicorn. “Good afternoon. I am Nightmare Moon.”
The other mare’s eyes widened as she turned around and saw Nightmare. “An alicorn? Well, it’s an honour to meet you Miss Moon. I’m Sunset Shimmer. What can I help you with?”
“Nice to meet you too Miss Shimmer. I’m here on behalf of King Sombra, making sure that everything for the celebration is running smoothly. You know how much he likes crystals.”
Sunset grinned with pride. “Well you’ll be happy to know that my farm has the best crystals in all of Everfree. All other crystals are inferior to the ones my family and I grow. You’re a servant to the king, huh?” she asked as Nightmare inspected the gathered crystals.
“Actually she’s his personal student.” Smog answered.
“A baby dragon too, huh? Well nice to know it didn’t take King Sombra long to find an interesting replacement student to fill my absence.”
“I’m not a baby you know” Smog grumbled. “I just entered my preteen years. I’m just really small for my age.”
“No, he’s a baby alright,” Nightmare teased. Her eyes widened. “Wait, back up. You were the king’s student before me? He never told me about any other students. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to replace you!”
Sunset chuckled. “Relax. I quit that old job and parted with him on pretty good terms. It just wasn’t what I was expecting it to be, you know? He tried to get me to control the sun a few times, which I got to say was not fun at all. That job is better for an alicorn; I don’t know how King Sombra has managed to hold up the sun and moon for so long.”
“He gets help sometimes,” Nightmare said. “Even I’ve moved the moon a few times. It leaves a nasty headache, doesn’t it?”
“Finally, somebody I can relate to. We should hang out after the celebration. While you’re here, want to sample some crystals for yourself? We have gems for dragons too.” At Smog’s eager nod, Sunset smiled. “Good. Let me just call the others for lunch.”
Her horn lit up and spat a bright fireball into the air that shimmered and bathed the cavern in bright light before vanishing. “Hey! Lunchtime guys!” Sunset yelled. “We’ve got company from the castle too! Get your lazy butts down here!”
Noticing the brief magical flare and hearing Sunset’s yell, dozens of ponies came running towards the three. The group gently pushed Nightmare and Smog towards a table, offering them crystals and food and asking questions about life in the Crystal Empire. “Okay slow down guys!” Sunset said. “Now why don’t I introduce you to my little family here?”
Nightmare glanced nervously around. “Thanks but we need to get going.”
“Nonsense, you’ve got time,” Sunset said. “Now over there is Time Turner, aka Doctor Hooves. Over there’s Mayor Derpy, that’s Screwball, Doctor Caballeron, that’s Doctor Stable, Miss Polomare, Miss Pommel, Button Mash, my cousin Sunflower, Iron Will, The Flim Flam brothers and…my friends Big MacIntosh and Diamond Tiara.” Sunset let out a sigh of relief after listing their names.
Nightmare tried to clear her head after being introduced to so many ponies. “Hold on. I’ve never seen this many supposedly related earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns. These people can’t all be your family.”
“I know, I’m pretty sure I saw a minotaur back there,” Smog helpfully pointed out.
“Well except for my cousin Sunflower, I’m not related to anybody here,” Sunset said. “I mean family like a close group of friends. Heck, you could be part of our happy family of misfits too.”
“Thanks but we need to get going,” Nightmare said as she tried to pull Smog from some gems. She stopped as a small pink earth filly with a purple mane and diamond tiara on her head gave her the sad eyes look. The filly still had a cutie mark, in the form of another diamond tiara.
“But aren’t you going to stay for lunch Miss Princess?” Diamond Tiara sniffled. “I wanted to ask you what it’s like being royalty. Pretty please?”
Nightmare paused. She knew that she looked somewhat scary to anybody who didn’t know her, but here this brave filly was politely asking her to stay. “I’m not a princess Miss Tiara. But if you want, I guess we can stay for lunch.” Diamond and the other gathered ponies (and one minotaur) cheered.
After lunch, the red earth stallion named Big MacIntosh helped Nightmare and Smog back into town, before heading back to his own farm, Sweet Apple Acres.
Smog pulled the checklist out. “Okay, what’s next? There’s supposed to be a griffon named Gilda clearing the clouds.”
“A griffon?” Nightmare asked. “Isn’t weather management more of a pegasus job?”
“I guess if a griffon can move the weather, why not? As long as she's good at the job.” Smog reasoned.
“Doesn’t look like it,” Nightmare said as she looked at the cloudy sky. Her ears twitched as she heard something move in the air. Instinctively, she reached out with her magic and slowed the incoming creature to a halt before it could crash into her. Nightmare glared at the griffon caught in her magic. “Where did you come from?”
“What the...let me go!” the griffon growled as she struggled in Nightmare’s magic.
“You almost crashed into me! What were you hoping to achieve, attacking me?”
“What are you...dude, I had no idea you were there. Now drop me!”
“No idea? What if you had been flying towards someone else? You could have hit me!”
“Okay, okay! Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going. Now put me down.”
Nightmare sighed and released her. The second she did so, the griffon pounced on her and pinned her down. “You dare attack me?!”
The griffon smirked. “Nope. I wanna wrestle you. It used to be I had ta wrestle with someone before I can be friends with them. I don’t do it as much these days, but when I am ever gonna get another chance to wrestle an alicorn? You’re supposed to be really rare.”
“Huh. I think I read about that old griffon custom,” Smog said.
“So it’s a duel, is it?” Nightmare smirked. “It has been a while since my last challenge.” Her horn glowed as she shot a powerful blast of magic at the griffon. But her challenger leapt off Nightmare as soon as her horn started glowing and dodged out of the way.
“Magic's cheating dude!” the griffon argued.
“In real life, your opponent isn’t always going to play fair!” Nightmare shot back.
“This’ll be good,” Smog said as he sat down to watch the show.
The griffon narrowed her eyes and grinned. “You got a fire in ya to match those dragon eyes. I like it!” She leapt at Nightmare and tackled her again, this time clamping her left claw on Nightmare’s horn to try and throw her aim off. They spent a good minute wrestling before the griffon pinned her down.
“What? I lost?” Nightmare said as the griffon got off her.
“No way dude, you just tired me out. If we had kept going, you woulda knocked me out cold. But I think you’re too used to having your magic save your flank. But still, I mean...man, you are tough!” The griffon held out her claw and helped Nightmare back onto her hooves.
“You must be Gilda,” Nightmare said.
Gilda smirked proudly. “Well do you know of any other awesome griffons living here?”
“Can’t say I do,” Nightmare said. “I’m Nightmare Moon and the king sent me here to check on the weather, which you’re supposed to be clearing.”
“I’ll get to it,” Gilda said, waving a claw as she hopped onto a cloud. “Just as soon as I’m done practicing for The Shadowbolts! They’re going to perform at the celebration tomorrow and I’m gonna join them.”
Nightmare smirked. “The Shadowbolts? The most talented fliers in all of Everfree? For that matter, a team that usually only hires pegasus ponies?”
“Hey, they’ve hired other creatures in that past” Smog said.
“True, they would accept a griffon, but certainty not a lazy griffon who can’t keep the sky clear.”
Gilda frowned. “Hey, I can clear the sky in ten seconds flat.”
“As you pointed out earlier, I’m an alicorn.” Nightmare brought her wings up. “I could clear the sky in five seconds.”
“Oh it’s on!” Gilda declared. With a burst of speed she kicked clouds apart across the sky, finishing up at around ten seconds like she promised. Once Gilda was done she turned around to brag, but noticed Nightmare hadn’t moved at all. “…Did you just trick me into doing work? Lame.”
Nightmare tried to hide her surprise at Gilda’s speed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to trick you. But you are faster than I initially thought.”
Gilda smiled again. “Eh, it’s cool. Heh, you’re pretty awesome yourself Nightmare. Give me a call when you want to hang out with a cool friend some more.” The griffon flapped her wings and flew off.
Nightmare politely waved goodbye but frowned as she noticed Smog playing with her tail. Her mane and tail had gotten a little dishevelled during the fight. Within seconds, her mane and tail flared out into something more magical. Purple hair turned dark blue as shimmering stars appeared in her hair as it magically flowed gently without wind.
“Why didn’t you do that before?” Smog asked.
“I only use this spell for combat training and preforming royal duties…which included us supervising the celebration so you’re right, should have done this before,” Nightmare sighed.
“It looks really cool. You should leave it up like that.”
“The spell uses up my energy. Only a tiny amount of magic but…well I’ll leave my hair like this until after the celebration and Eternal Twilight’s defeat. Afterwards, I’ll consider if I want it back to normal or not.”
“Whatever,” Smog said as he got out the checklist. “Next are decorations.” The two walked into the town hall where the king was to arrive once the celebration began. The building was filled with banners, streamers, and large decorative crystals. Red and black was the recurring theme in the décor but splashes of other colours were present too. Smog stopped in his examination of the room as he spotted a (to his eyes) beautiful blue unicorn with a white mane wearing a purple wizard’s robe and hat.
“Wow. Would you look at her. Hey Nightie, are my spines straight? Come on, introduce me.”
Nightmare gave him a look. “I don’t know who that is. What are you expecting me to say? ‘Hi there! Have you met Smog?’”
Smog pushed her towards the unicorn. “Perfect! Go say that!”
The unicorn turned around upon hearing the voices and gasped. “An alicorn? Trixie has never seen an alicorn before! Truly this must be destiny, for fate has brought to Trixie one of the few creatures in all of Everfree who could possibly be greater at magic than her!”
Nightmare glared at Smog. “What have you gotten me into now?”
The unicorn continued to speak excitedly and theatrically. “Do not be shy, my most wonderful guest! The Great and Powerful Trixie welcomes you with open arms! Tell Trixie about yourself! Tell Trixie what you desire from her.”
Nightmare sighed and put on another polite smile. “Nice to meet you Trixie. I’m Nightmare Moon and this is my friend Smog, who would like me to inform you that he is older than he looks and he thinks you’re very pretty. That’s what you get for whispering in my ear without thinking Smog.” As he backed off a little she continued. “We’re from the Crystal Empire and-”
Trixie’s grin widened. “The Crystal Empire? Oh, how Trixie has dreamed of performing for the people there! Perhaps even the king! Why, a beautiful and mighty alicorn like yourself, you must know the king?”
“That’s correct. King Sombra asked us to supervise this celebration and I can see that you’ve done a great job with the decorations here.”
“You honour Trixie with your words!” Trixie grinned and charged her horn with a grayish magenta aura. “Perhaps you would honour her further with a magical duel? Trixie has no quarrel with you of course, she merely wishes to see your magical might for herself! Just a friendly duel between possible future best friends?”
Nightmare smirked. “Perhaps some other time. I just got out of a fight with a griffon and as fun as that was, I do not want to use up all of my strength. I need to check on the rest of the preparations before the moon rises anyway.”
Trixie’s horn stopped glowing as she nodded, even if she looked a little disappointed. “Right, of course. Trixie would love to talk with you more, but Trixie must also finish preparing for the king's arrival. We both have our own quests to do and thus, and alas, Trixie must bid you farewell for now. But when the celebration begins, come watch Trixie’s show and she will do her best to dazzle you! The Great and Powerful Trixie wishes you good fortune Nightmare Moon! I know that we shall be the best of friends!”
Nightmare gladly accepted permission to leave and dragged Smog away with her. “She seems nice, but her personality is a bit…much. Are you sure you’re interested in her Smog? I mean, what about Moondancer?”
“Hey, don’t question my romantic interests,” Smog growled. “I never wrote poems to any of my crushes.”
“I was very, very young and how dare you bring that up!”
The two stopped their arguing as they heard musical chirping coming from ten birds. Music was the last item for them to check and the birds sounded great. The birds’ conductor was a yellow pegasus with a short pink mane and tail. “You’re doing great everyling. Keep it up,” the pegasus said.
“Hello!” Nightmare bellowed. The pegasus and birds jumped at her voice but the birds were quick to settle back into the branches.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you. We’re here to check on the music and these birds sound wonderful. Did you train them?”
For a moment, the pegasus looked scared before clearing her throat. “Well I uh…” As the pegasus stuttered, Nightmare rubbed her eyes. Something was blurring her vision. The pegasus suddenly frowned at Nightmare. “How dare you interrupt me? We are doing extremely important work for the celebration and you're not helping! Apologize at once!”
Nightmare frowned. While she had accepted that some creatures were rude and had learned how to deal with them calmly, the sudden mood swing from this yellow filly was suspicious. And with the way her vision was blurring…
“Your improvisation could use some work changeling,” Nightmare hissed. The yellow pegasus lost her haughty attitude and took a step back. Nightmare’s horn glowed. “I’m going to ask you nicely to remove your disguise before I do it for you,” she threatened.
The ten birds all burst into green flames. When the flames died down, the birds had all transformed into creatures that resembled ponies crossed with bugs. Their coats were black and their legs were filled with holes, yet the holes appeared to be part of their bodies and not injuries. They had holey insect-like wings, fangs, stubby little horns, and solid blue eyes. They all hissed angrily at Nightmare.
Her horn stopped glowing. “Easy guys. I’m not going to hurt you. I just don’t like being lied to.” She gave the yellow pegasus a reassuring smile.
The pegasus sighed and removed her disguise in a green flash. While she looked like the other changelings the difference in her appearance meant she was something more. Her eyes weren’t solid blue but dark green with long oval shaped pupils. While the other changelings were bald, she had a teal mane and tail, as well as blue-green plating over her midsection. She was taller than the other changelings but was slightly shorter than Nightmare Moon. Of course, since changelings were shape shifters this was probably by choice.
“A changeling queen. But you don’t have your crown” Nightmare noted. She waited for a response but the queen just pawed at the ground nervously and trying to look anywhere but at Nightmare.
“Um, you don’t have to worry about your disguise. It was very good. It’s just a few changelings liked to play some harmless pranks on me when I was younger. It annoyed me enough to put an enchantment on my eyes to detect disguised changelings. Though, it’s only noticeable when there’s a group of them in front of me.” She trailed off, as the changelings were still silent. “I’m Nightmare Moon. What’s your name?”
The changelings gave their names as Angle, Ditto, Mimic, Ersatz, Snare, and so on. One of the shorter changelings, Angle, hopped off the branch and gave the queen a nudge.
“Um I’m Chrysalis,” the queen mumbled.
Nightmare blinked. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Speak a little louder please.”
“Um, my name is Chrysalis,” the queen whispered as a few green sparks made her appear smaller.
Nightmare levitated a pen and paper from her bag. “Maybe you could write it down?”
Angle took the pen in his green magic and wrote down: Her name is Chrysalis. Now buzz off, you’re making her uncomfortable. Angle glared at the alicorn to drive the point home.
Nightmare nodded. “Right, sorry to bother you. Keep up the good work.” She walked over to where Smog was sitting behind the bush. He’d gotten bored and started doodling on the checklist. “Let’s get going Smog. Time to check the library.”
“Yeah, yeah I’m going,” Smog said. As he sat up Chrysalis finally spotted him and squealed in delight as she flew towards him. “A baby dragon!” A burst of green fire consumed Chrysalis as she turned into an exact duplicate of Smog. “I’ve never had a proper visual aid to be able to turn into a dragon before. And he’s so cute too,” she said in Smog’s voice. “What’s your name?”
Smog smirked at Nightmare. “Nice to see somebody appreciates me. I’m Smog.”
“Hi Smog. I’m Queen Chrysalis. Oh, but you can call me Chrysalis if you want. Can I ask you something?”
Smog, remembering that he was Nightmare’s research assistant, said “Sure. As long as I can ask you about changelings Chrysalis.”
Nightmare’s face switched from a grimace to a smile. The answers she got from Chrysalis made the following Q and A session more tolerable. She carried Smog on her back as they walked to the library they were going to be staying at. Smog had just finished telling his life story from the day he hatched out of a red egg, when Nightmare knocked the dragon off her back. Smog stood up to see they had arrived at the library.
“Well thank you for keeping us company Queen Chrysalis but I’m afraid we have some last minute preparations to make for the celebration tomorrow. So nice meeting you and goodnight!” Nightmare tossed Smog into the library with her magic and closed the door behind them.
Smog fumbled around in the dark library for a light of some kind. “Don’t you think we said goodbye to her a little too fast?”
“Sorry Smog but we have to convince the king that Eternal Twilight is returning and – GAH!”
“What? What is it?” Smog asked. Unfortunately he couldn’t see as well in the dark as the alicorn of darkness could and he hurried in his search. But somebody else turned the light on to reveal ponies of all shapes and sizes surrounded them. The library was decorated up with party streamers and the ponies shouted out, “Surprise!” But Nightmare’s attention was being diverted by something else.
“GUESS WHO!” Something screamed in her face. Nightmare jumped back as her horn flared with magic ready to blast the creature with those familiar yet freakish yellow-red eyes.
It was the draconequus from before, laughing at her expression. “Ho, ho, you should see the look on your face! Priceless!” He snapped his fingers and a camera appeared out of nowhere, snapping a picture and spitting it back out. “And priceless it is indeed. For you dear.” He handed her the photo of her own shocked face.
“Now, to business. I apologize for my quick departure earlier, but we have never met before, which means you must be new here. And quite frankly my dear, from my observations of you, you seem to be quite friendless so I set up this welcome party just for you. Pardon me, do you two know each other?” the draconequus asked as he pulled out a mint green unicorn from the crowd.
“Lyra?” Nightmare asked. “What are you doing here?”
“Nightmare!” Lyra squealed. She ran over and gave Nightmare Moon a hug. “Discord here invited me to your party and I was finishing my research at the Crystal Empire’s library and planning to move here anyway so now you’re here and I’m here and we can be friends again!” She said all this very fast.
“Oh, how has your research been going?” Nightmare asked. “I’d love to hear about it.”
A bright flash appeared between the two and deposited the attention-hogging creature. “Research? That sounds boring. Better to save that for another chapter in our lives, hmm? Now I couldn’t help notice that you’re a fellow hugger. Bring in the love!” The draconequus said as he and Lyra hugged. “And introductions, if you please.”
Lyra smiled. “Of course. Discord, this is Nightmare Moon, the personal student to King Sombra. And Nightmare, this is Discord.”
Discord floated in the air. “The master of random and chaotic! The ultimate party king! Well now, you have had the great fortune of meeting so many new friends haven’t you Nightie?”
Discord snapped his fingers and Sunset Shimmer, Gilda, Trixie, and Chrysalis appeared in the room. The four looked at their surroundings in confusion until four angry glares were focused on Discord’s grinning face.
“Well this is a party, isn’t it? Drink up!” He held up a glass of chocolate milk. Nightmare grumbled and instead of accepting the milk, she walked toward the snack table and poured herself a glass of something else. She then drank it before even looking at what was burning her tongue off.
“Hot sauce!” Nightmare spat as she flew upstairs searching for water and privacy.
Smog picked up the bottle his friend just drank from. “Why do you even have this?”
“It’s for you of course!” Discord said as he shoved the bottle down Smog’s throat, who spat it back out. “Dragons like hot sauce, correct? Also I will admit I was hoping something like that might happen. Oh dear, and I missed my photo op for her spit take. Pardon me, I’m Discord! I like to mess with people, ponies or otherwise! And you…”
Smog backed away from the grinning lunatic. “I’m Smog and you’re creeping me out.”
“Oh don’t be like that! Here, have a lampshade!” Discord snapped his fingers and then both dragon and draconequus were wearing lampshades. “And don’t think I forgot the rest of you!” he sang as lampshades covered everybody else’s head.
Upstairs, Nightmare was trying to ignore the party downstairs and was trying to find comfort by staring up at the night sky. Smog climbed up the stairs and sat down in the room with her. “You feeling okay?”
Nightmare glared at him. “NO! Everybody in this town is completely insane!”
“Well, Discord is crazy, I agree with you there. But everybody else seems nice.”
“But their niceness is taking up too much time!” she screamed. “On any other day I would love to study the griffon, the changelings and even that weirdo Discord. But I need to find out more about the Elements of Redemption and Eternal Twilight.”
“Okay. They’ll be partying all night long so that they can see King Sombra raise the sun tomorrow but I’ll get them to keep the noise down for you so you can study.” Smog went back downstairs as Nightmare flipped through a few book, searching for answers. She looked up at the moon, taking in its perfect surface. But her vision picked up something else swirling among the stars.
All too soon, Smog called her down to get ready for the celebration. Everybody in town, pony or otherwise had gathered in the town hall. The changelings disguised as birds sang the opening song, and Mayor Derpy announced the arrival of the good and wise king. Trixie jumped up on stage and pulled back the curtains. The curtains pulled away to reveal…nothing!
The ponies and other creatures of Peaceville began to grow uneasy at the disappearance of their beloved king. Then, a dark purple cloud filled with shimmering stars filled the stage and a huge alicorn, much taller than Nightmare Moon, appeared.
The alicorn had a purplish black coat. Her dark purple mane and tail swirled with tiny white stars. Her draconic eyes looked like Nightmare’s, except they were pink and dark purple, instead of blue-green eyes. She wore armor similar to Nightmare’s, except hers was golden with starburst symbols instead of silver with moon symbols. Aside from the complex crown on her head, her whole appearance made her look like Nightmare Moon’s evil older sister.
“Eternal Twilight.” Smog whispered in fear as he hid himself behind Nightmare.
The twilight mare spoke. “My little ponies. It has been far too long since I’ve seen you my dear friends.” Eternal Twilight grinned at her audience.
“Alright lady!” Gilda roared. “What’d you do to our king?” She flew towards Eternal Twilight, prepared to deliver a knock out punch. Unfortunately, Gilda was trapped in a dark purple field as Eternal Twilight’s magic grabbed Gilda and tossed her across the room.
“Foolish griffon,” Eternal Twilight hissed. “The King Sombra you knew is gone forever. This land was to be ruled by a true princess, not some false king.”
“And what makes you a princess?” Trixie called out. The unicorn charged her horn and blasted a spell at Eternal Twilight, but the hex bounced off a purple shield that surrounded her.
“After all these years, was nopony smart enough to learn about me?” Eternal Twilight snarled. “Did anypony recall my legend or use some common sense or do any research! Do none of you know who I am?”
Discord pretended to look thoughtful before shrugging. “I’m going to say a generic villain of darkness. But worry not my friends. There’s no need to fear, Discord is here!” A cape wrapped itself around Discord’s shoulders as he shouted heroically. He launched a lightning bolt at Eternal Twilight…that bounced off her shield.
“…Okay, let me try that again.” Discord snapped his fingers but Eternal Twilight simply glared at him. “Third time’s the charm!” He flew towards Eternal Twilight and smacked her on the head…only to be blasted across the room.
Discord sat up quickly and gulped as he looked at the one creature who been able to hurt him for the first time in his life. “Oh dear.”
“HA!” Eternal Twilight sneered. “I am the Princess of Magic itself! Nopony is more powerful than me, not even a draconequus!”
“Enough!” Nightmare shouted. “I know who you are, Eternal Twilight!”
Eternal Twilight smiled. “Finally, somepony remembers me. Oh, and a fellow alicorn too? Tell me, did you study magic for decades until you earned the right to be an alicorn as I did? Or were you simply born as one through sheer dumb luck? I guess it doesn’t matter, for you are still nothing compared to me.”
Eternal Twilight’s wings spread wide as her aura flared with power. “Remember this day my little ponies. From this day onward my rule will be eternal. I am your princess now, and I. Will have. ORDER!”
To be continued…
Interesting, but I'm slightly concerned as to how you're going to keep this from being simply a rehash of the SE1 opening with different names. If it takes off in a different direction then fantastic! I also like how you kept Discord from simply putting Twilight apart. Also, you're a bit inconsistent with how you end quotation marks. Generally you stick with the rule, which leads me to believe you might know them but sometimes forget to apply them, but just in case here they are:
Rule 1: If it ends with you, afterwards, saying how it was said you end it with a comma and lowercase the next word, like this:
Rule 2: If it ends by going into something else, end it with a period and uppercase the next word, like this:
Rule 3: Exclamation, question marks, and '…' override the comma/period rule and names (Jason, Alex, Samantha) override the uppercase/lowercase rule. Like this:
Now... have a like!
I think I'll keep an eye on this.
I like this idea!
Well, this is an interesting idea. Not everyday a mirror version of the series is written. I'll keep an eye out on this one.
I how this is going, can I put it in my group?
Oh, and I'd love to see this version cross over with the Cannon!Equestria, that would be so cool
This was very entertaining, and I hope to see more. As long as you keep the protagonists on an even level (because let's face it, at their true power level, half the group would drastically overshadow the others) this could be a fun ride. Twilight can make a good villain, and as the IDW comics establish, Good Sombra works nicely. Also, shy Chrysalis was overwhelmingly cute.
My only criticisms are that Gilda's and Trixie's scenes were rather rushed and not too inspired. Gilda felt almost exactly like Rainbow Dash and Trixie was in an awful hurry to send Nightmare on her way.
Good work!
Ok let's see if I have this right, because my brain hurts like heck.
Discord is supposed to be Pinkie Pie. That actually makes sense.
Sunset Shimmer is Applejack. That doesn't.
Trixie is Rarity. What?!
Gilda is Rainbow Dash. That makes sense, too.
Chrysalis is Fluttershy. WHAT?!?!
Did I get that right?
>> Shadow Cloud
You got that right. That's what I got too.
Hi, me again! I love this chapter! The changes you made were very clever, and the character differences were interesting too, like Chrysalis being shy, Smog being more like Nightmare (as opposed to Spike), and Twilight wanting order. A few tips: I think you got a good grasp on Discord's character, but there's still some dialogue that's a little rusty there. Sunset Shimmer doesn't seem quite as defined, and since she's not really evil, that's gotta be hard to do. Lyra felt a little forced; is she going to have a prominent role (I guess i'll find out). But otherwise, awesome!
4425994
I have the same problem here:
Discord and Gilda do make sense for their replacements. Sunset Shimmer actually seems like she would work better as the element of dishonesty, (or lies) and Chrysalis just doesn't fit the whole 'shy' scenario. Plus Trixie isn't really generous. Maybe if each of them stayed in character, and showed the softer side of them that could relate them to the mane six, it could work out. Otherwise it ends up being a carbon copy of the original episode/characters.
4425994 Well, when you just tell people which characters are which, it won't make any sense... But when you actually see the characters and how they act, it makes a lot of sense! At least it did to me...
Awesome.
It looks like Twilight is the only one which does something about her role in the fanfic and well is a bit different.
I like the fanfic, but i have to say that i don´t like it, that the ponys here are simply changed for the most part. I had read a bit fast and don´t know if Sunset is reall a normal farmer (Crysal Farmer?) and if Trixie is maybe still a showmare, but that Discord and Gilda acted like Pinkie and Rainbow was something i don´t like.
I just wished you maybe had give them all a different Job or well Discor worked as the Element as laughter, but he acted to much like Pinkie in the first Moment. Chrysalis i don´t mind, i like her, she i s one of my favourite villian and turned into my favourite Pony, and she could be really shy with her new life she has in this story.
I don´t complain with the idea or more with the story, but i don´t like that there are to many similarities
There is enough new and i want to read more.
5017453
Looking back on the chapters I've written, I find that the story gets better as you keep going. The first chapter doesn't feel that strong to me but every time I try to edit it, I have trouble figuring out what needs improving. It's a mirror universe so the Elements of Redemption need to be a little similar to the Elements of Harmony, but they all go through a few changes as the story progresses. I try to give every chapter something new, so if you plan to keep reading I hope you'll find that the story is still worth your time.
Oh dear.
So this is an inverted world where the bad guys are good and cutie marks disappear with age rather than appearing and telling you your talent?
Interesting that despite everything else the Windigos still seem to be bad guys.
Happy to help.
I really love your new versions of Trixie's and especially Gilda's intro. A pretty sweet combat scene you have there.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-4i2bh151qdw/UBNtKNevZcI/AAAAAAAAAV0/hd417Ox8a8s/s1600/order.jpg
I love this story. It's just AMAZING. Sunset Shimmer and Trixie are done so well in this alternate universe, especially with Sunset saying she left on good terms and Trixie having dreams of performing, not just showing off!
My one teensy nitpick...I do like Smog, but I can't help but think that Garble might have fit in better, especially since I saw a great AU picture of him and Sunset Shimmer on deviant art.
Anyway, GREAT START. I'm HOOKED. Have a like and a favorite!
Mayor Derpy!?
Yes! The hero we all deserve!
Alright... so in order of appearances.
Nightmare Moon as Twilight has a sort of ironic sense, as at the beginning of the series Twilight reads about and tries to make countermeasures against Nightmare Moon, in this one it is in reverse, also, the First Protagonist and Antagonist, nice connection there.
Discord in Pinkie's place, is obvious, but we can always blame any impossible feats of craziness on his chaos powers, Pinkie is a lot more mysterious in that regard... and kind of weird he is pretty much the only guy out of the new main 6 here.
Sunset Shimmer... huh, well, I suppose as an inverse of Applejack, being humble and hardworking, and Sunset, being ambitious and studious, bucking crystals is a good example of how taste pallets have changed with Sombra's reign... does this make her stronger than Applejack since she is cracking solid rock with her hooves?
Gilda is obvious again, I mean, Rainbow Dash is likely going to appear sometime as Gilda's friend who is, I don't know, a jerk? But unless Griffn's can somehow tear a hole in the light spectrum, I don't see how she can take the mantle of 'Cutie Mark Giver', yet again, half of the new six can't even get Cutie Marks.
Trixie as Rarity... well, they certainly are full of themselves at least, and they are pretty much the few that wear clothing regularly, Rarity surprisingly less in that regard so, eh. But again, Drama Queen - Bragging Mare certain have a certainly flare with one another.
And Fluttershy! It's so great you kept her in- DAFUQ! Chrysalis?! Okay, this is something strange, you punked me with that one but then, wait... it IS Fluttershy, only in Chrysalis's body, I don't really like that, the Queen was anything but shy in canon, and I get this is a fanfic, but it is a big change from the other four who simply were changed to the setting, Chrysalis is really strange in this one.
... And Angel lives on, doesn't matter you switch L and E with each other, I see what you did there.
And Twlight! Great to meet you... I like your new villain getup, an inverse to 'making friends' to 'controlling ruler', I like it.
I'll look more into the series, hope it stays good.
5789534
The big reason behind Chrysalis and Fluttershy switching roles goes a little bit like this: I read a fanfic on here called MLP Time Loops about all the main heroes and villains going through a never-ending time loop. The Chrysalis in that story sees things from a different perspective and becomes a good guy. At one point, she is put into a new loop where she wakes up as the new world's version of Fluttershy. That was the inspiration behind that idea, but as for in my story...
Canon Chrysalis may not seem much like Canon Fluttershy but they have some similarities. Fluttershy hides from ponies behind her long mane and shy personality while Chrysalis hides from ponies behind her shape shifting powers. Fluttershy takes care of all the animals in Ponyville and Chrysalis takes care of all the changelings in her hive. Fluttershy doesn't really have a villainous foil like her friends do in canon, but Chrysalis seemed like the closest choice to me.
In this world, love is a lot easier for changelings to get and feeding on love is usually Chrysalis' main goal in any story. Here, Chrysalis understands that being kind-hearted and a little shy makes her more loveable and therefore more likely to receive love. It's a case of Chrysalis being raised under different circumstances.
I hope that clears things up there. Glad that you're checking out my story and I hope you enjoy it.
I had read this story a while ago and never comented on it but I want to say that I like it
This story has been in my 'read later' column since... probably since you were still in season 1. Not a big fan of massively different AU's but this premise made me want to read it. Finally got round to reading the first chapter and I love it!
Never saw the old version but this was so much fun. The characters fit their roles perfectly and I am so looking forward to seeing what's coming. I also love how it isn't a carbon copy but contains similarities to the real version. You've got me in high hopes. Onto the next chapter!
I'll be honest just started reading and i'm already banging my head because of the role switching or grammer but because i feel the complete redo of the first episode was completely unnecessary u really didnt need to give sunset the large 'family' or make chryssalis an apparant animal lover. I just feel all this role reversal is not only a waste of good effort and talent but also just down right dumb.
Now the writing is good and this chapter is smooth, the concept is enteresting but i've personnaly never been to enjoy recast stories.
I have only finished the first chapter and intend to finish but that is my opinion thus far. From this chapter u appear a good write i hope to see a good story as well
AHAHAHAHAHAH I thought it said body bag.
someone plz help me i'm crazy....
dont you mean sundancer?
9222654
Moondancer has an older brother named Sundancer in this universe. I hope that clears things up.
You know, I have to wonder: why do cutie marks disappear in this universe instead of the other way around? In the original timeline, cutie marks represented a pony’s special talent, which then appeared when a pony discovered that special talent. If ponies are born with cutie marks and they later disappear, what’s the point of cutie marks then, anyway? Their just a tattoo that disappears over time instead of a mark that marks a pony’s destiny. It doesn’t make sense
9223692
This is a mirror universe, where a lot (but not everything) is different from what you expect it to be.
In this universe, every pony is born already aware of what their special talent is. But that's not the only thing you want to be known for, is it? If you get a microphone cutie mark, you want to have other talents besides singing, right? If you have a garbage bag for a cutie mark, you don't want to be known as someone who is good at cleaning up messes and nothing else, do you?
In this mirror universe, losing a cutie mark means becoming a better version of yourself. I hope that makes more sense.
Well, 100 years is not such a long time to completely forget someone else. In the end, 1 or 2 generations passed.
Discord as the alternate version of Pinkie? That works.
So, wait... Is it Sundancer or Moondancer?
9224275
How tall are Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis? Does Nightmare Moon have a sister named Daybreaker? If it takes place in "Everfree" than what is Equestria?