Too Much of a Ditz
Friends, Forgiveness, and Magic
Too Much of a Ditz
An earth pony mare walked across the small office as she put a few papers away. She had a tan coat and a short pink mane and tail. The mare walked back to her desk and put her glasses back on to see what other papers were left.
On one side of the office there was a large desk with a nameplate that read Mayor Derpy ‘Ditzy’ Doo. Beside the plate was a picture frame containing a photo of two smiling unicorn fillies, one purple and one pink.
Her own desk was smaller and had a nameplate that read Mary ‘Ivory’ Mare. She checked the clock on her desk and, seeing that her work was finished, she patiently waited for her new boss to come in.
There was a small crash outside followed by a few bumps here and there before a pegasus opened the door and slowly flew inside. The pegasus had a gray coat and a blonde mane and tail. “Oh dear, where did I put them?” The pegasus began to search through the office for something, occasionally bumping into a wall.
The earth pony spoke up. “Excuse me Miss Mayor, what are you looking for?”
The mayor turned to look at her. “Oh, hi there!” she smiled. “Sorry, who are you?”
“Mary Mare. You hired me as your secretary, remember?”
The pegasus smiled. “Miss Mare! Oh, I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you. Just, I thought you had gray hair?”
Mary smiled. “No, it’s pink. I just usually dye my mane gray, but I didn’t have time this morning. I wanted to be early first day on the job Miss Mayor.”
“You should leave it pink, it looks nice,” the mayor said. “Oh, and you can call me Derpy if you want.”
“Oh um…” Mary fidgeted a little. “I’m uh, not sure if I should do that Miss Doo. It wouldn’t be professional.”
Derpy’s smile faded a little. “It’s okay. You can call me Ditzy if you want. Some people prefer my middle name.”
“Okay, so…what are you looking for Miss Ditzy?” Mary asked.
“My glasses.” Derpy said as she started digging around the basket she kept her paperwork in. Mary’s new boss was cross-eyed and she had trouble telling how far away an object was. While her condition wasn’t discovered early enough for glasses to make a big difference, they still improved her vision a little bit.
“Um, do you mean those glasses?” Mary pointed to a pair of glasses that were hanging on a strap around Derpy’s neck.
Derpy looked down and smiled. “There they are! Thank you Miss Mare. Now if I just…” She tried to pick up her glasses with her teeth but the movement of her head caused her teeth to accidently cut the strap, and somehow send the glasses flying across the room.
“I got it!” Derpy said as she flapped her wings and managed to catch her glasses in midair before she crashed onto the floor.
“Miss Mayor!” Mary hurried over to help Derpy back up. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I just don’t know what went wrong,” Derpy said as she put her glasses back on. She sighed, “I bump into stuff and can’t even remember where my glasses are when they’re right in front of me. You probably think I'm stupid.”
“No! Of course not Miss Mayor! You probably just had a busy morning and forgot. The same way I forgot about my hair, right?” Mary gently smiled at her boss. “And everyone bumps into stuff sometimes. I wouldn’t be working for you if you weren’t intelligent, Miss Mayor.”
“Thank you Mary,” Derpy smiled. “You know what, you deserve a promotion. I’m making you deputy mayor.”
Mary gasped. “D-d-deputy mayor? Miss Doo, I’m not sure if-”
“Nope! New deputy mayor!”
“But Miss Doo, you’ve only known me for-”
“I already know all that I need to,” Derpy grinned. “You’re smart and you’re nice. You’ll do great!” She walked over to her desk and picked up her schedule. “So what are we doing today?”
“I believe you were going to make a speech to the town today. To address the issue of all the ice from the Windigo attack the other night,” Mary reminded her.
“That’s right! Oh dear, I have to give my speech in ten minutes! Come on, we gotta go! Come on, come on!”
Mary grabbed the notes she needed and quickly followed her boss, who had already flown ahead of her. She arrived outside Town Hall to see that a large crowd had gathered outside as Mayor Derpy prepared to give her speech.
“I’m confused,” Smog said, rubbing his eyes. “Why are we out here so early in the morning?”
“Whatever it is had better be important,” Nightmare Moon grumbled.
Rainbow Dash flew in and touched down on the ground beside her. “Are you okay? You sound a little cranky.”
“I’m not a morning person! Okay?!” Nightmare growled at her.
“Okay, okay! No need to bite my head off,” Rainbow said as she edged away.
Derpy smiled as she saw that most of Peaceville was present, including the Elements of Redemption, minus Discord. Once Mary had set up everything beside her, she began her speech.
“Thank you everybody for being here bright and early!”
“Don’t remind me,” Nightmare muttered.
“Now I know a lot of you were inconvenienced by last night’s attack from the Windigo herd.”
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo ducked behind another pony, trying to hide from the crowd.
“But I see this as an opportunity! With everyone’s help I know we can clean up all this snow. We can treat this as an early Winter Wrap-Up! For those of you who don’t know, Winter-Wrap Up is when we all group together to clean up all the winter snow to make way for spring!”
“Wait, hold on!” Smog said as he raised his hand to draw attention. “You want us to clean up winter? I’m sorry, what? Can’t we just use magic like they do in the Crystal Empire? I know we’re not technically changing seasons but-”
“No! No magic!” Derpy said. “Winter Wrap-Up is meant to be a special time of the year! Everyone cleans up winter the earth pony way, without magic. It’s traditional!”
Sunset Shimmer raised her hoof. “Um, did I miss something? I’m pretty sure earth ponies have magic too, just not the same as unicorns and such.”
“You want us to shovel snow because it’s tradition?” Gilda snorted. “If it was tradition to cut off all the leaves on every tree before fall, would ya want us to do that too?”
“Yep!” Derpy cheerfully said.
Gilda slapped her forehead in exasperation. “I’m pretty sure the leaves can fall just fine by themselves, mayor!”
“Come on, it’ll be fun!” Derpy pointed over to Mary. “Now my new deputy mayor, Miss Mare, has vests for each team! Blue for weather, green for-”
“GUESS WHO!” Discord shouted as he appeared within the crowd in a flash. “Hello guys, what’s everyone doing around here for?”
“Mayor Ditzy expects Trixie and her friends to drop everything we’re doing just to shovel snow!” Trixie frowned. “Trixie was planning to do something actually important before she was called to clean up the leftover mess from those Windigos.”
“Oh dear, are we still on about that?” Discord held his hand out. “Sunset, if you would be so kind?”
Sunset’s horn glowed as she created a small spark of fire, and sent it over to him. Discord cupped the little flame in his hands, waved them over the fire, and set the flame down onto the snow. He snapped his fingers and the fire raced over the town, melting the ice and snow but leaving everything else just the way it was.
People in the crowd sighed happily. “Thank you Discord,” Nightmare smiled. “If anyone needs us, Smog and I will be in the library catching up on our sleep.”
“What? Guys, don’t leave!” Derpy cried as everyone in the crowd left. “Winter Wrap-Up is supposed to be a no magic, day-long tradition. You’ll have fun, really! Please…please don’t leave.”
Mary went to Derpy’s side as she sat down. “Are you alright Miss Doo?”
“Yeah,” Derpy sighed. “I know that ever since we’ve had people with strong magic like Trixie or Discord in town, we’ve changed the seasons like they do in the Crystal Empire. But I was hoping we could be traditional this year! I was hoping my amazingly inspirational speech would win them over. I just don’t know what went wrong.”
“I thought it was a great speech!” Mary reassured her. “But at least now we have more time to get started with all of your other duties.”
Derpy smiled. “You’re right! Come on, let’s go see if anyone needs help!”
“What?” Mary looked back at the schedule. “Um, Mayor Doo, I’m not sure if it’s our job to-”
“Come on, let’s go!” Derpy said as she flew off…and accidentally smacked into a wall. “Oops.”
They worked through the rest of the morning and into the afternoon. Aside from offering to help out any ponies, they also got ready for the ceremony they planned to hold next week. It would be a small award ceremony to show appreciation for the best farms in Peaceville, including Clear Crystal Caverns and Sweet Apple Acres.
After they had set up everything, Derpy and Mary went over to Clear Crystal Caverns. “Hi Sunset Shimmer! Anything I can do to help?”
Sunset placed a crystal in a basket and turned to look at her. “Um, no thanks Mayor Derpy. I’m doing fine by myself. But uh, would you like to buy anything?”
“Okay! What do you have?” Derpy poked her head into a basket full of blue crystals.
“Careful there, Derpy." Sunset pulled her head out and directed her to another basket. "Now, I have something here for you that you might be interested in.” Sunset placed a pair of glasses in front of Derpy. The glasses had thin crystals within the lens instead of normal lens. “I got the design from a cousin of mine, you just take some magic quartz crystals and put them in. They should improve your sight.”
Derpy frowned and tried to focus her eyes on Sunset. “Are you saying there’s something wrong with my eyes?”
Sunset’s eyes widened and she hurried to correct herself. “No! Sorry Derpy, that came out wrong. There’s nothing wrong with your eyes, I just thought maybe you would like them.”
“Oh, okie dokie then!” Derpy happily switched her normal glasses with the magical quartz glasses. “Oh wow! Everything looks all sparkly!”
“I’m glad you like them Derpy.” Sunset held out her hoof. “Now those glasses cost about-”
“Hold on, I wanna try them.” Derpy focused her sight on everything around the crystal farm. “They work really well.” She started backing up to get a better view of everything. But as a great as the quartz glasses were, they didn’t give Derpy extra eyes in the back of her head.
“Miss Doo, behind you!” Mary cried.
Derpy turned around to see what her deputy mayor was talking about, only for her face to smack into the cavern wall. While her face wasn’t harmed, the quartz had been scratched in just the wrong way. The magical quartz glasses glowed bright red before lasers fired rapidly from the glasses. Sunset and Mary both ducked behind cover as the quartz lasers fired this way and that.
“AH! I can’t stop it!” Derpy cried as she tried to point the glasses away from anything breakable.
Sunset’s horn glowed and the malfunctioning glasses immediately flew off Derpy’s face and toward Sunset’s hooves. She smashed the quartz crystal and kept smashing them until the lasers stopped firing. Sunset sighed, “Perhaps you’d be better with your old pair.”
Derpy’s ears folded down in shame. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know what went wrong.”
“Yeah. It’s a mystery.” Sunset rolled her eyes and began to clean up the damage. “Now I don’t mean to be rude Derpy, but the phrase ‘you break it, you bought it’ comes to mind.”
Derpy tilted her head to the side. “But you broke the glasses.” She shrank back as Sunset glared at her and quickly paid for the glasses. “Okay, that should cover the glasses and some of the damage. Again, I’m so sorry. Anything I can do to help you clean this up?” Derpy asked with a hopeful smile. She walked over to pick up a crystal, only for the crystal to slip out of her grasp and crash against another pile of crystals.
Sunset frantically jumped in front of her to block her off from the rest of the farm. “No! Uh, I mean, no thank you. Now if you’ll excuse me Miss Mayor, I think we both have work to do.”
As they walked out of the cavern and back to Town Hall, Mary asked Derpy, “So uh, what else do we need to do today?”
Derpy sighed. “Nothing. You’ve done great work Mary. Take the rest of the day off. I’ll…I’ll see you tomorrow.” She flew the rest of the way home.
Three days later, Derpy put on her glasses first thing in the morning so that she wouldn’t forget them. She got out of bed and went through her morning routine, occasionally bumping into something, but she wasn’t about to let it slow her down. She was almost out the door when she heard someone cry, “Mom!”
“Yes Sparkler?” Derpy asked as she turned around to see her two daughters.
The purple unicorn, Sparkler, pointed at her younger sister in frustration. “Dinky ate the last muffin and there’s, like nothing else to eat in the house!”
Dinky, the grayish-pink filly with blonde hair, smiled happily at Sparkler. Dinky was very young and still had a cutie mark, depicting five stars. She licked the crumbs off her lips and said, “I love you.”
“Mom!” Sparkler whined.
Derpy nuzzled Dinky and looked back up at Sparkler. “Aw, it’s okay sweetie. If you look through the kitchen I think there’s a cupcake somewhere.”
“But mom, you always told us that muffins are for breakfast and cupcakes are for dessert.”
Derpy smiled. “But today’s a special day, so you can have a special breakfast. Today, King Sombra is coming to Peaceville for a visit. I’m organizing the greeting party for his arrival. And they’re using the banner we made last night,” she said proudly.
“Oh, cool. Good luck with that mom!” Sparkler waved as Derpy flew out to Town Hall for work. She walked back into the kitchen, searching for the cupcake. “Now I think she said the cupcake is around…Dinky!”
Dinky licked the cupcake crumbs off her lips and smiled, “I love you.”
“Stop being adorable!”
As Sparkler got Dinky ready for school, Derpy flew around Main Street. Mary watched her as Derpy hung up the banner welcoming King Sombra to their town.
Nightmare flew over to join them. “Hi there Ditzy, Mary,” she nodded to both of them. “Ooh, nice banner.”
“Thanks Nightmare Moon!” Derpy smiled. “Me and my little muffins put it together.”
“Hold on!” Nightmare frowned and flew up to the banner, pointing at the end. “‘Welcome King Zombra’? What happened to his name?”
“I’m sorry.” Derpy smile faded. “I wrote the S on backwards. But the rest of his name is spelt right!”
“I’m sorry Mayor, but we can’t hang a banner with a misspelt name. But…maybe if we draw an S on top of the Z it would work.”
At that moment, a shadow flew down towards them and touched down on the ground, turning into King Sombra. “Ah, Nightmare Moon. It’s good to see you.”
Nightmare gasped, then forced her mouth into a grin. “King Sombra! It’s an honour to have you here.”
The king tilted his head to the side. “Are you okay? You seem a bit flustered.”
“No! No, it’s just that you’re here early!” She looked back at the banner and Derpy with a frown. “Really early.”
“I know and I apologize,” King Sombra sighed. “But I’m afraid my casual visit to Peaceville will have to wait for another time. As much as I’d rather not ask this, do you know where Discord is?”
There was a flash of light and Discord was there, sitting in an armchair and reading a book. “You rang?” he asked as he held up a toy telephone.
“Hello Discord. I’m sorry to bother you about this but there is a Breezie infestation not too far away from here.”
Discord eye’s widened and he tossed away the book and toy phone. “Breezies, you say? Not to worry, Your Royal Heiney. I’ll bring the wind chimes, the accordion, and the giant fan!”
King Sombra rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes. Let’s get going now, shall we?”
“Wait, what’s a Breezie?” Nightmare asked.
“You don’t want to know,” Discord shook his head.
“Wait!” Derpy flew down and bowed before the king. “King Sombra, as Peaceville’s mayor it is my great honour to welcome you to our town.”
Sombra blinked and smiled. “Ah, yes. Good afternoon Miss Mayor.”
“Anything I can do to help you with that Breezie infestation?”
“No thank you. Come along now Discord.” And with a flash of light, the king and the chaos spirit were gone.
“Well there goes my day,” Nightmare grumbled. Curious, she picked up the book that Discord had been reading and frowned. “This again? I keep telling him he can’t have a Windigo as a pet!”
“Did you see that Mary?” Derpy said with a smile as Nightmare flew off. “The king is my friend now!”
Mary wasn’t convinced. “Miss Doo um, I think he was just being polite. I’m not sure if he even knows your name.”
“Sure he does! He’s probably just confused on if he should call me Derpy or Ditzy or Mayor. Everyone gets confused sometimes,” Derpy said as she attempted to pull the banner down.
“If you say so Ditzy,” Mary said. She looked back at her clipboard and the schedule taped to the back of it. “Now tomorrow it looks like-”
“Ooh, ooh, I know!” Derpy grinned. “Since we have more time, we can do the award ceremony for all the farms tomorrow! It’ll be fun!” She finally succeeded in pulling the banner down, only for one of the poles to smash into a nearby window. “Oops.”
“What?” Mary’s eyes widened. “But Miss Doo, tomorrow is when Discord scheduled his appointment to sign all the papers needed to adopt that Windigo. And goodness knows that’s going to take all day,” she muttered.
“That’s okay. I’ll just fly back and forth between them and-”
“Miss Doo, I don’t think that will work. Even if you were as fast as Gilda, you can’t be in two places at once.”
Derpy touched down on the ground and frowned, deep in thought. She smiled once more and said, “Or can I? You know what, you’ve done great work again Mary. You deserve the rest of the day off. I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow!”
The next morning, Derpy got up even earlier than usual. After she finished her morning routine she was ready to leave when she noticed something.
“Sparkler? Dinky?” The two sisters froze and turned around to face their mom. “What are you two doing up so early?”
“Um, yeah. That’s a good question,” Sparkler said as quickly hid something in one of the kitchen drawers and sheepishly smiled. “Um, Dinky?”
Dinky’s grin grew wider (and a little more forced). “I love you.”
“Aw, I love you too,” Derpy smiled. “But you didn’t answer my question.”
“Um…what are you doing up so early?” Sparkler shot back at her.
“Hmm, I guess you have a point. Just be in bed early tonight girls. I’ll see you after school.”
Sparkler and Dinky watched her fly off for work. “That was close. Come on Dinky, if we hurry we’ll have everything ready by tomorrow morning.” She heard a knock at the front door and quickly but quietly went to open it.
A short yellow colt with a green mane and a snail cutie mark poked his head in. “Is she asleep?”
“Not exactly, Snails. She actually got up before us and went to work. I don’t think she saw it.”
A shorter green colt with an orange mane and a pair of scissors as his mark nudged Snails over to talk to Sparkler. “Did she say why? Eh, never mind. Anyway, I talked with Discord and he said he’s happy to help.”
“Great job Snips,” Sparkler smiled. “Okay, you two know what you need to do today so let’s meet up the same time tomorrow.”
Later that day, a crowd of Peaceville citizens had gathered outside. Three ponies stood up on the stage, waiting for the mayor to arrive. The one on the right was Sunset Shimmer, smiling and waving to her friends.
The bigger pony in the middle was a red earth stallion with orange hair. Nightmare recognized him as Big Macintosh, Sunset’s friend and business rival.
Though, she didn’t know the last one’s name. The one on the left was an earth pony with a brown coat and a black mane and tail. He adjusted his red business tie and smiled at the crowd.
At that moment, Derpy flew onto the stage and smiled to the crowd. “Hi everybody! Today we are here to honour three of the greatest farmers and food providers in our town! Sunset Shimmer, Big Macintosh and Filthy Rich!”
One mare in the crowd rolled her eyes. The unicorn had a pink coat and styled silver hair. “Oh please,” she said. “Miss Shimmer and Mister Macintosh, I could understand. But when has dear Richie ever been a farmer?”
Diamond Tiara hissed back, “Excuse me Aunt Silver, but that’s my dad you’re talking about. So please shut up.”
“It’s Silver Tiara, darling,” the mare smirked at her niece. “I would think you would remember sharing half of such a pretty name with one as glorious as I.”
“To start with,” Derpy continued her speech as aunt and niece argued. “I would like to award Big Macintosh and his family for all those delicious apples that go great with warm muffins in the morning like a…sorry, lost focus for a second.”
“That’s nothing new,” Silver Tiara muttered.
“Aunt Silver, stop it!” Diamond pleaded.
“So here, Big Macintosh. From us to you.”
Big Macintosh stepped forward and accepting the blue ribbon from the mayor. “Thank ya kindly, Miss Doo.” He looked at the crowd and nervously chuckled. “Now Ah ain’t exactly one to go making speeches. Not that great with words and all. Still, Ah thank y’all for yer support. If y’all will excuse me, Ah need to get back home.”
“So soon?” Derpy asked in confusion.
“Yep,” he said as he walked off stage. “Sweet Apple Acres hasn’t been too lucky with the rain and sunshine lately. Gonna have ta water all the apple trees by my lonesome.”
Derpy grinned. “Ooh, ooh! I can help!” The crowd watched as she flew off toward Sweet Apple Acres.
Meanwhile back in Town Hall, Derpy waited patiently at her desk.
“GUESS WHO!” Discord sang as he burst through the door.
“Hi there Discord! Are you here for your appointment?”
Discord looked at the mayor in confusion. “Now that’s quite peculiar,” he said. “I thought I just saw you near Sunny’s farm?” His mouth stretched into a sneaky grin. “You used a mirror pool, didn’t you?”
“Yep!” Derpy smiled. “My mirror duplicate should be giving out all those awards right now, so my schedule is open. How can I help you?”
Discord snapped his fingers and a chair popped into existence. He sat down and got right to business. “I’m looking to see what I can do to adopt that cute little Windigo of mine, without getting arrested. Now I’m quite sure we’ll have to word that differently on paper but that’s the gist of it.”
“I’d be happy to help you with that. Ooh, have you picked out a name yet?”
Discord clapped his hands with joy as a book appeared next to him. “Oh, I’m so glad you asked!” He opened the book and listed off some names. “I’m thinking Jackie, Frosty, Polaris, Chilly, Sad-eyes, or Wendy!”
Derpy tilted her head to the side. “Wendy? Isn’t it a boy Windigo?”
Before Discord could answer her, Mary walked into the office and froze in her tracks when she saw them. “Miss Mayor? I thought you were presenting awards to the farmers today.”
“I probably still am,” Derpy said as she got out some papers for Discord to sign.
“Um…okay. Well, if you’re not busy, you should know that a Mister Star and Mister Turner…or is that Doctor Turner?” Mary looked back at her notes.
“Oh dear, they’re here a day early? Good thing I planned ahead!” Derpy poked her head under her desk and said, “Could you go meet with them?”
Another Derpy popped her head from under the desk. “I can help!” She flew out of the office in a burst of speed. As the Derpy clone flew, something made her stop and hover in midair. “Wait, she said a Star and a Turner? Oh dear, I can’t see both of them at once! Unless…” The Derpy clone immediately changed course and flew somewhere else.
Meanwhile, at Sweet Apple Acres, Big Macintosh dodged another lightning bolt and shouted, “Miss Doo, that there’s the wrong cloud! Yer making a mess outta my farm!”
The Derpy clone continued bouncing on the storm cloud, sending more lightning bolts crashing down onto the apple trees. Sadly, the clone didn’t seem to notice she wasn’t making it rain or that Big Macintosh was begging her to stop.
Three more Derpy clones flew up to the clone bouncing on the cloud. “Anything we can do to help?” they chorused.
“Big Macintosh!” Sunset yelled as she came running into the apple orchards. “I just saw Mayor Derpy by the farm and she’s…” she froze as she saw the four Derpy clones zipping back and forth as they attempted to help Big Mac, not realizing that they were doing more harm than good. “Well…this all looks horrible.”
Up in the sky, Gilda and Rainbow Dash flew over and hovered in midair as they looked down at the scene below them. “Well, I guess we found that missing cloud…and a whole other mess,” Rainbow said in shock.
Behind them, more Derpy clones carrying more clouds flew over the farm to help water the trees as well. Most of the clouds actually had rain in them, but there was still the odd storm cloud in the mix. “This is just nuts!” Gilda growled as she tried to grab the clouds away from the cluelessly destructive clones, her back paws and tail pushing them away as three more duplicates grabbed onto her. “No more Ditzy’s! There’s too many of them!”
Back at the mayor’s office, Derpy smiled as Discord finished the last bit of paperwork. “There we go. Now as long as the little guy doesn’t cause too much trouble, um…then there won’t be any trouble!”
There was a frantic pounding at the door before a burst of smoke filled the room. The smoke faded away to reveal an irritated Trixie. “Another one?” she cried as she saw Derpy. “Begone foul mirror clone! Or face the might of the Great and Powerful Trixie!”
“What? Wait! I’m not a clone!” Derpy cried as she backed away from Trixie as the magician’s horn glowed with power.
“Ha! A likely story, if Trixie had not already heard the same from numerous Ditzy clones!”
“Numerous?” Derpy asked in fearful confusion. “There should only be about two clones.”
“Have you not looked out your window?! The skies are swarming with your clumsy clones! Trixie can’t even practice for her show without a Ditzy interrupting her!” Trixie pulled off her hat and reached into it, pulling out another Derpy. “See?”
“Wait, I’m not a clone!” The pegasus in Trixie’s hat cried. A flash of green consumed the Derpy clone, changing her back into Chrysalis. “Sorry, I just noticed that the clones didn’t seem to be bothering each other as much so I um, figured I’d blend in.”
“…That was rather crafty. Trixie wonders if-”
“Um, excuse me,” Mary interrupted them. “Mirror clones? I read the reports from last time and clones can be very dangerous if left to their own devices.”
“Oh, it wasn’t that bad,” Discord said as he folded his arms back in happy reminiscence. “I still remember when I used that mirror pool. Trixie, you remember what I’m talking about, right?” Trixie glared at him. “I guess you do. Well then, I suppose you also recall how to handle the situation?”
“Indeed,” Trixie grinned. “Trixie remembers the spell to banish the duplicates back into the pool. The trouble will be in determining which one is the real mayor so that we don’t send her back by mistake.”
“I’m the real mayor!” Derpy cried.
“Really?” Trixie glared at her. “What can you do to prove it? What makes you different from these destructive idiots?” Derpy tried to come up with an answer, but she found that there wasn't anything she could say to convince Trixie. She looked out her window and finally noticed all dozens of her duplicates bouncing around the town. Realizing the trouble she had accidentally unleashed on her town, Derpy lowered her head to the floor in shame.
Trixie snorted at the poor mare. “Trixie did not think so. You, assistant!” she pointed at Mary. “What is something that only the real mayor would do?”
“I’m…I’m not sure,” Mary stuttered. “I thought she was the real mayor, but I guess I was wrong. I mean, I guess the real mayor is a little clumsy,” Derpy winced. “A little forgetful,” Derpy winced again. “A bit of a muffin fanatic and a very…well ditzy.”
Derpy cringed and shrank further onto the floor.
“But I also know that Miss Doo loves this town and she genuinely wants to help everyone in it.”
Derpy was too depressed to even smile at that.
Discord nodded and smiled. “I think I know what to do with that. Give me a few minutes and we should have this wrapped up faster than you can wrap up winter.”
About ten minutes later, they were all gathered in a room within the Chaos Corner. Mary, Rainbow Dash, Smog, and all the Elements of Redemption were gathered on a raised platform, while Derpy plus all her clones were gathered on the floor below.
“Okay, here’s how this is going to work out,” Nightmare announced over the chattering clones. “Whoever is the real mayor gets to stay. Which one of you is the real Ditzy will be determined by a simple test. Discord?”
Discord snapped his fingers and a complex maze surrounded the duplicates, separating them from each other. The walls of the maze were made of cardboard. Another snap of his fingers made plates of muffins appear at the various exits of the labyrinth.
“Whoever can navigate this maze and retrieve a muffin, without knocking down the walls, is the real mayor. And just so you know, you might want to avoid flying for this challenge.”
All of the clones grinned with excitement at the thought of muffins. The real mayor was still crying her eyes out at the thought of failing the challenge and being separated from everyone she cared about. Peaceville, Mary…Dinky, Sparkler…
Discord spread his arms wide. “Alright then, let the games begin! We begin…NOW!”
“Oh boy, this is so exciting!” Smog said as he sat down with a bag of popcorn to watch the game. A minute later, he wasn’t as excited. “Okay, this is hard to watch.”
The Derpy clones were all incredibly clumsy and kept flying and crashing into the walls. Gilda pointed out the clones and Trixie zapped them with the spell to return them to the pool, while Discord kept snapping his fingers and rearranging the maze.
“How is all this supposed to help us find the real mayor?” Mary asked.
Trixie zapped another clone. “Excuse Trixie but she is busy at the moment. Nightmare?”
“From what Discord has told me about the mirror pool, mirror clones are very simple minded at first,” Nightmare explained. “They get smarter if someone is there to teach them, but from the moment they exit the pool their personalities are like an over-exaggerated version of whoever is being duplicated. The real mayor will be smarter than the clones; smart enough to know that not going through the maze is the best way to survive it.”
Mary frowned and said, “From the way you describe it…these clones sound like they’re almost newborns. It’s just…what’s going to happen to them?”
“I’m glad you asked!” Discord said with a grin. He vanished with a snap of his fingers. A few seconds later there was a flash of light, and there were two Discords.
“…Oh dear, I’m in Tartarus,” Nightmare muttered as she stared at them with dread.
“Oh don’t be so melodramatic all the time. Now then dear me, you’ve met most of my friends but here’s some new faces,” the Discord on the right said. “The dragon is Smog and the alicorn is Nightmare Moon. Oh, and the rainbow one is, appropriately named, Rainbow Dash.”
“Hello!” The Discord on the left grinned. “Do you wanna set something on fire?”
“…No thanks. Can I have an explanation instead, please?” Rainbow stared at who she hoped was the real Discord.
“Sure! Basically, this is the same clone I made the last time I used the mirror pool. Goodness, how long has it been since you saw me?”
Discord’s clone shrugged. “I dunno, a minute? How long for you?”
“Oh, a little over a month. In any case, do you think you could go back home now that I’ve made my point?”
“Of course! See you in a few minutes, or however long it is for you!”
As Trixie blasted the Discord clone away, the real one explained. “We’re not killing these clones, we’re just sending them back for a little nap. I might not pull him back out for another year, but within that pool it will only seem like a day to him. But enough of that drama! How’s it going Gilda?”
Gilda focused back on the maze. Her eagle eyes allowed her to see everything that was going on within the large maze. “I can see one Ditzy who hasn’t moved at all since this started.”
“In that case, let’s wrap this up now, shall we?” Sunset suggested.
Several zaps and a few finger snaps later, the copies were returned to the mirror pool and the cardboard maze was gone.
Mary walked over to the real Derpy with a muffin in her mouth and placed it next to the mayor. Derpy was lying on the floor, still looking very depressed. “Miss Ditzy, the game is over now. You won!”
Derpy sighed, “Thank you Mary.” She glanced at the muffin but then got up and walked toward the exit. “But I’m not in the mood for muffins.”
They all left the Chaos Corner to see an angry crowd of ponies glaring at Derpy. “There she is! Grab that clone before she escapes!”
“Wait everyone! This is the real mayor! All the other clones are gone now,” Mary shouted over the crowd.
“Perfect!” Silver Tiara glared at Derpy. “In that case Miss Mayor, what were you thinking? Your clones almost destroyed the entire town! Those brutes nearly destroyed my beautiful mane in their attempt to 'help' me!”
“You went and rained one mighty storm onto my apple trees!” Big Macintosh frowned at her. “Now how am Ah gonna get all them apples ready for when folk ‘round here want apple pie?”
“A whole bunch of those Ditzy duplicates trashed my muffin cart!” A stallion from the crowd shouted.
“They stomped all over my picnic, trying to ‘help’ me!” A changeling growled at the frightened Derpy.
“Those clones almost ate all my inventory! How am I going to get more cabbages now?” Golden Harvest shouted at them.
“Oh no, what is she doing here?” Rainbow fearfully whispered. She quickly ducked back inside the Chaos Corner. Outside, the crowd continued to shout accusations at Derpy.
Gilda sighed, “Well it looks like they all want answers.” She glared at Derpy and said, “So what do you have to say for yourself?”
By this point, Derpy was trying to be as quiet as possible, even though tears were spilling out of her eyes. Looking at the crowd expecting a response, she cleared her throat and tried her best to give them an answer that would make them happy. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to h-hurt anyone. I didn’t mean...I didn't mean to do anything w-wrong. I don’t know what I did wrong. I just…I’m just…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…I…I...”
But the crowd wasn’t satisfied and just grew angrier. “Speak louder!” “Would you actually look at us! Your eyes keep doing that cross-eyed thing. Stop it!” “Is she crying? She's crying! She can’t even take this seriously!” “I’m never voting for her again!”
It was too much for her. Derpy flew away from the crowd as fast as she could, tears pouring out of her eyes.
The ponies in the crowd looked like they planned to chase after her. But before they could get very far, Chrysalis flew in front of them and blasted the ground below with a warning bolt of magic. She glared at the stunned crowd and hissed, “That’s enough! She already feels terrible about what happened and you do NOT need to rub it in!”
“She needs to learn her lesson!” Silver Tiara angrily demanded. “How can we trust a mayor as clumsy, ditzy, and just plain stupid as her?”
“HEY!”
Everyone turned around to look at a furious yellow colt. “It’s not nice to call people names just because they’re different,” Snails shouted at Silver Tiara. He turned around to show them his snail cutie mark. “See this? Ponies keep making fun of me just ‘cause I don’t always understand something! But just ‘cause I think a little slower than everyone else, doesn’t mean I’m stupid!
“And I don’t let people bother me when they call me slow. But I’m not gonna let you call her that! It ain’t her fault her eyes are funny, eh? She's not stupid, she's smart and she's really nice too. She gave me pudding once when I was feeling sad.” He smiled at the memory. “I like pudding.”
The crowd was silent as they contemplated what Snails said. Most of the ponies and changelings shuffled their feet guiltily. “Maybe…maybe we were a little harsh,” Gilda said. She looked back at the fleeing mayor with regret. “She was just trying to help everyone.”
“If one tries to please everyone, one usually fails to please anyone,” Trixie sadly stated. “Even the Great and Powerful Trixie has been where that poor girl is now.”
“That was really cool of you, Snails old buddy,” Snips smiled at his friend. “But you know what would really help her right now?
Snails frowned in thought for a moment, before he remembered what they were doing earlier. “Oh yeah. We’d better get going if we want to help Sparkler and Dinky with the party, eh?” He and Snips ran away from the crowd in happy excitement.
“Party?” Discord perked up at the word. “I didn’t know there was a party. Perhaps I misread my planner.” He snapped his fingers and a calendar popped up next to him and he read off it. His smile faded as he read it. “…Oh…ooh. Ouch.”
The next morning, Derpy climbed out of bed. She had gone to sleep early the other night, but she still had to get up early to go to the office. She was still the mayor after all.
“Though who knows how long that will last?” she whispered to herself.
After the usual morning routine, she stayed behind to make breakfast for her kids. Sparkler had been making breakfast for herself and Dinky on the days Derpy was too busy, but she wasn’t in a hurry to leave the house.
“Good morning sweeties,” she smiled softly as they came downstairs. “I made you two your favourites.” They thanked their mom and ate breakfast quietly.
The silence was a little unnerving to her so she asked, “Um, Sparkler sweetie…did you or Dinky see anything…strange yesterday?”
“Nope,” Sparkler smiled gently. “Nothing unusual. Dinky?”
Dinky blinked at the two of them, then shook her head no and scarfed down some more food.
“Right…well…I guess I can’t put it off any longer,” Derpy sighed. “Have a good day you two.”
“Um, mom?” Sparkler asked as Derpy got ready to leave. “School lets out early today, so maybe you can leave work early and meet us at the Chaos Corner this afternoon? There’s something you really need to see there.”
“Okay sweetie,” Derpy sighed and walked back, hugging Sparkler and Dinky. “Mommy loves you. No matter what, I’ll always love you.”
Sparkler and Dinky hugged her back. “We love you too. Have a great day mom.”
As their mom left out the door, Sparkler said to Dinky, "Thanks for not saying anything about mom's clones."
"Is mommy sad?" Dinky asked her quietly.
"It's okay Dinky." Sparkler hugged her. "Mom just had a rough day. Come on, we need to hurry if we want to cheer her up."
Derpy walked to work that day, too sad to fly there. As she walked she noticed that most of the streets were very quiet. She passed by the town library and saw Mary talking to Nightmare Moon.
“Hi Mary,” Derpy said as she tried to smile. “On your way to work?”
Mary jumped at the voice and turned around to see her boss. “Oh, Miss Doo. Sorry, didn’t see you there. Um…I’ve love to work but I can’t, today…because I’m uh…”
“She’s feeling rather sick,” Nightmare said quickly. “And she came to me because I know um, healing spells and…such.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. I really hope you feel better,” Derpy said to Mary.
“Of course Miss Mayor. Oh um, maybe you could meet with Miss Moon and I this afternoon at the Chaos Corner. To um…”
“Help me look over plans for the library!” Nightmare pasted an uneasy grin on her face. “Well, see you later Miss Doo!” Nightmare grabbed Mary with her magic and pulled her inside the library, shutting the door behind her. Derpy tilted her head in confusion at their strange behavior, but then sighed and left for work.
Before Derpy went to her office, she decided to stop by Sweet Apple Acres to apologize for all the damage her copies had done to Big Macintosh’s apple trees. She found him working in one of the orchards.
“Howdy there Miss Mayor,” Big Macintosh said as he kicked another apple tree, shaking the fruit off it. “What can Ah do ya for?”
“Hi Mister Macintosh,” Derpy smiled gently. “I just wanted to say sorry for everything. Is there anything I can do to help you?”
“Well sure,” he smiled and pointed at another field. “There’s some weird weeds poking outta the ground. Ain’t any weeds Ah've ever seen before. Not too many of them though.”
And so Derpy got to work pulling the strange thorny weeds out of the ground with her teeth. As she pulled the last bit of the prickly weeds, she noticed Sunset Shimmer and Chrysalis talking to Big Macintosh. When they noticed her watching them, they waved at her with nervous grins on their faces. Big Macintosh came over and thanked her before saying he had to leave somewhere rather important.
After she was done at Sweet Apple Acres, Derpy walked back into town. On her way, she accidentally bumped into Trixie.
“Hey, watch it! You almost knocked over Trixie’s…oh, Miss Ditzy! Forgive Trixie for she uh…”
“Hi Miss Trixie. I’m going around town to see if there’s anyone I can help to make up for what I did.” Derpy stared hopefully at her. “Is there anything I can do to help you?”
“Um, no thank you Miss Mayor…I, uh that is to say…” Trixie glanced around frantically as she thought of what to say. “…Trixie has been hired to be the entertainment at a party this afternoon at the Chaos Corner and she invites you to attend it at your earliest convenience!” She smiled nervously and brought out one of her smoke bombs. “And for her next trick, the Great and Powerful Trixie shall disappear!”
Smoke enveloped the area as Trixie dropped her prop. Once the smoke cleared she was gone. Derpy felt a little more confused and sad at Trixie’s sudden departure. But surely Trixie wasn’t avoiding her…was she?
Derpy continued walking to work, hoping that there was someone she could help. But the roads were still strangely quiet. She was almost at her office, when she saw Rainbow Dash and Gilda sneaking out her door…with Sparkler right behind them.
“Sparkler?” Her daughter jumped in surprise and turned around to see her mom frowning at her. “What are you doing here sweetie? Miss Dash, Miss Gilda, why are you here?”
“I um…mom! Great to see you! Rainbow and Gilda were just uh…” Sparkler looked at the two fliers, wordlessly asking for help.
“Um…Trixie dropped something here the other day, and Sparkler just let us in to grab it!” Gilda said with an unconvincing grin.
Rainbow quickly matched her grin. “Yeah, but we got it now! So we’ll just be out of your mane and um…if you could stop by Discord’s house that would be great because he’s uh…still got some paperwork for you sign about his weird pet. So um…see ya!”
Rainbow and Gilda flew away from the office, with Sparkler following after them on hoof.
First Mary, then several of Peaceville’s citizens, and now her own daughter. “Why…why is everyone running away from me?” Derpy asked herself, as tears started to form in her eyes.
Discord came strolling down the street but he stopped once he saw her. “Oh, hello there Miss Derpy! Thank you ever so much for your help with my little bundle of ice-cold joy! Here, I know they’re your favourite!” He snapped his fingers and a plate of muffins appeared in front of her. Unfortunately, she was facing away from Discord and therefore he couldn’t see her watery eyes. “Be sure to stop by my place this afternoon!” he said as he continued down the street.
Derpy looked at the plate of muffins and sighed.
“Thank you all so much for coming!” A straight-eyed Derpy said with a big grin. She was speaking to four muffins arranged around a big table in Town Hall. “Miss Mare couldn’t be here today, so I needed all the help I could get!”
Derpy grabbed a pink muffin and waved it around. “Of course Derpy! We’re always here to help you!”
“Aw, thank you Miss Annie!” Derpy said as one of her wings twitched.
“I say Derpy! What happened to your tongue?” An orange muffin with tiny gem sprinkles on it asked.
“Oh, I was pulling weeds out earlier and some of the prickly bits scratched my mouth. Don’t worry Mister Zappy, I’m fine now!” Derpy said as she hugged the muffin. Her ears twitched.
“Good heavens!” A blue muffin said. “You injured yourself to help that slow-witted stallion? I bet he didn’t even properly thank you for it!”
“Well, he was probably just busy,” Derpy chuckled. “Lots of people around here have so many things to do. You know how it is, Commander Holly.” She giggled a little more as she passed out snacks for her muffin friends.
“Oh please!” A dark green muffin shouted. “They aren’t busy, they’re just avoiding you! All the ponies in this town are too angry and stupid to see that you were just trying to help them. And did they ever thank you for your hard work? No, they spat in your face!”
Derpy shuffled her twitchy feet. “I...well...it wasn’t very nice of them, was it?”
‘Annie’ spoke, “Nice? They were horrible to you! But who cares about them? You can just move to another town and be the mayor there! I’m sure if you persuade them, they’ll know that you’ll be a much better leader than any idiot they’ve got!”
Derpy sneered. “You know what, you’re right. I don’t need any of them! I can be the mayor anywhere I want! I’ll just take Sparkler and Dinky and-”
“Why would you bring them?” the green muffin asked. “They betrayed you! They sided with the rest of those small-minded losers! Just drop them off on someone’s doorstep and be done with those ungrateful brats!”
For the first time since she organized this ‘meeting’, Derpy felt that maybe these talking muffins couldn’t be trusted. “But…I love my kids. T-they didn’t do anything wrong. Sparkler and Dinky have always been there for me. I know that they don’t think I’m very s-smart…and that really h-hurts…but I can’t leave them. I can’t!”
The muffins started to gang up on her, demanding that she leave the town and forget about the people who hurt her. Derpy’s twitches increased and she felt sweat starting to slide down her face as she mumbled frantically. But before her mind completely snapped, someone came to the rescue.
“Hey, Miss Mayor,” a voice called out to her. The door opened and Rainbow Dash walked into the room. “Sorry we were in such a rush before. We just-”
Rainbow stopped talking and froze as she realized what she was looking at. Her eyes widened as she saw the muffins and the crazed mayor.
“Hey Dash, why’d ya stop?” Gilda said as she walked in behind Rainbow. “Hey there Ditzy! We’re supposed to bring ya to the Chaos Corner. You’re really gonna like what we have set up.”
Derpy’s gaze drifted away from them. As she continued mumbling to herself, Rainbow poked Gilda and whispered, “Gilda, run.”
“Run? What for?” Gilda asked in confusion.
“You ever get the feeling like you’ve done something before?”
Gilda frowned in thought before answering, “I think Nightmare calls that déjà vu.”
“I don’t know if that’s it but I’m getting a bad feeling now. I feel like something really creepy is going on her head right now.”
“Come on Dash, that’s crazy.”
"No, I think right now, she's crazy."
The terror that Rainbow was feeling would not fade. Deciding not to take any chances, she flew as fast as she could to the Chaos Corner and stopped once she found Discord. “Hey, can you teleport Ditzy and Gilda back here? And make it fast, I think something has made Ditzy's mind snap.”
Discord tilted his head, but then nodded and disappeared in a flash. He reappeared with Gilda and Derpy next to him.
“Surprise!” Derpy looked around the room to see the Elements of Redemption, Mary, her two daughters, and many of Peaceville’s residents. She could even see Doctor Hooves in the back. Aside from them, she saw that the room had been decorated for a party.
Derpy glared furiously at them. She knew what was happening, they were throwing a farewell party for her. They wanted her gone! She was ready to yell, scream, and let them know exactly how she felt. It would be interesting to see how much damage she could do when she was actually trying to break something. But the sight of Sparkler and Dinky’s smiling faces stopped her.
The first rule of Derpy’s guide to being a good parent: NEVER make your kids cry.
So instead of blowing up like she wanted to do, she turned away from them and walked away.
The partygoers stopped smiling as they saw her reaction. “I thought she’d be happy,” Sunset said quietly to Smog.
“Happy?” Derpy glared at Sunset with perfectly straight eyes. “How could I be happy at an anti-Derpy party?”
Many of the partygoers looked confused and scared. “What?”
“You all want me to go away forever!” The anger and sadness within her was beginning to drown out all other thoughts. “For the last time, I’m sorry about those stupid clones! But you all just hate me, for things I can’t control! It’s not my fault I’m like this! I just…”
“Okay, this has all gotten way out of hand,” Discord said as he pushed away from the group and brought something over to Derpy. “We’re not angry at you, my dear. And we could never want you to go away forever. This party was set up to say we’re sorry about the way we treated you yesterday. You were just trying to help. And aside from that, well…truly, time works in mysterious ways. I know it’s rare to forget one’s own birthday, but then you’ve been rather stressed out lately. Birthday muffin?”
Derpy looked at the plate in his hand. It was a bunch of muffins clustered together with a generous helping of cake frosting on top of them. In small frosty writing that she needed her glasses to see, were the words We’re Sorry and Happy Birthday Derpy Doo.
Dinky pushed a wrapped present over to her mom with her nose, looked up, and smiled. “I love you.”
A huge weight seemed to lift itself off her shoulders as the doubt in her mind faded away. Derpy’s face slowly worked itself into a smile as her eyes went cross-eyed again. She hugged Dinky tightly and said, “I love you too. I love you all so much.”
The partygoers sighed in relief. And so the party began.
Halfway through the party, Rainbow flew over to Discord. “Hey Discord, great party!”
“Why, thank you Dashie. You’re too kind,” he chuckled as he swung a golf club at a piñata that looked suspiciously like a caricature of Silver Tiara.
“Hey um, I wanted to ask you something. Now, I say this in the nicest way possible, but...you’re the craziest creature I’ve ever known.”
“Oh ho, stop it! You’re making me blush!”
“Yeah see…before I asked you to bring Gilda and Ditzy over here, Ditzy was acting…really creepy. She-”
“Say no more, I can fill in the blanks,” he sighed and removed the blindfold to look her in the eyes. “You see my friend, sometimes a person has a bad day. Sometimes that’s all it takes to reduce the nicest person alive to lunacy. And our poor mayor has had a few bad days all strung together.”
“Just a bad day, huh? That’s all it took?” Rainbow shuddered. “Scary.”
“Well there’s more to it than that,” Discord smiled. “Just as a bad day can drive someone crazy, a good day can build up a person’s confidence and put an honest smile back on their face.” He snapped his fingers and drank the glass of chocolate milk that appeared. “Funny, how the world works, eh? Nightmare should be taking notes, this friendship report is practically writing itself.”
Nightmare stopped dancing once she heard that. She looked over at Smog, who got out a pen and paper right away.
Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,
Today I’m not the only one who learned something. While many of us learn not to judge a book by its cover, sometimes you need to read a few chapters to truly understand a person.
I admit that because I’ve been an alicorn all my life, I’m used to having an advantage that others don't. But just because someone has a disadvantage, it does not make them weak.
Some people may seem clumsy and may get in your way, but you should never be angry at someone who is just trying to help you. Instead, kindly encourage and help them as they help you. You may find that your new friend is stronger and smarter than he or she looks.
Your faithful student friends, the Elements of Forgiveness.
A few days after that party, Derpy followed Discord into the Equestria forest, during the day so that they wouldn’t have to worry about any monsters. They cautiously flew down into an underground cavern, where the magic mirror pool resided.
Derpy cleared her throat and spoke, “And into her own reflection-”
“That won't be necessary,” Discord told her as he reached into the pool and pulled out a Discord clone by the horn. “Pardon us my good me, may we speak to the eldest Derpy clone?”
The mirror clone grinned and dove back into the pond. A second later, a Derpy clone flew out of the pond and said to them, “Hi there! Anything I can do to help you?”
Derpy smiled at her clone, no longer afraid of it. “Yes. Yes, you can help.”
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t-this looks different.....
Very good mash-up of two Pinkie Pie episodes, tuned to your universe. Though I wonder what's up with the eldest clone...
4491916
Sorry, what do you mean by different?
4493125
just different, that's all.
a good one.
4492004
Thanks. This chapter took a bit longer to create but hopefully I'll finish the next chapter a bit sooner.
As for the eldest clone...well, from a symbolic standpoint, the clone represents Derpy accepting herself. She knows she's not perfect but that people still love her for who she is. From a reality standpoint, she's hoping the clone will make a good friend/assistant/foal-sitter for Dinky.
This chapter was brilliant! How many episodes did you combine/make references to?
4493786
Well let's see here...Derpy's speech for Winter Wrap-Up is, of course inspired by the Winter Wrap-Up episode. Welcoming King Sombra and the Breezie infestation references Swarm of the Century. Breezies have switched places with Parasprites here. Derpy's freakout and the party to cheer her up is inspired by Party of One. And the Derpy clones take the place of the Pinkie clones. And just a few other bits from here and there.
Hope that helps. I'm glad you're liking the story.
This is a touching and heartwarming chapter, but without excessive sap. However, I have to ask, Peaceville IS going to vote Ditzy out of office next election and replace her with Mary Mare or something, right? I mean, property damage is property damage, no matter the good intentions of the mayor.
4496755
To answer your question, they probably will vote for someone else...but Derpy was elected for mayor somewhat recently. She has quite a lot of time to make up for her mistakes before she has to worry about next election. And property damage isn't exactly new to the ponies of Peaceville. They live in the same town as Discord, after all.
Thanks, glad you liked the chapter.
4497129 Well now I'm voting Discord for Peaceville Mayor. Why settle for the lesser of two evils?
4497220
Really great! Clever use of Deja vu for Rainbow seeing Derpy freak out Pinkie style
.
One thing: near the end of the chapter, you used the word "person" a few times, and that wouldn't really work for them. Maybe you could use "someone" or "creature" instead?
Great chapter! I really like all the references to past episodes put in here.
Also, so Derpy's crazy version is her being straight-eyed? 
Sure, why not? 
Actually, I think when Derpy can sit still and doesn't have to do so much that requires motor skills, like the administration paperwork she helped Discord with, she can unfold her true talents and aid the population with her kindness and intelligence.
Derpy, anyone who can accomplish to phrase that in a way to get it perfectly legal is brilliant.
Agreed, Snail's speech is wonderful.
Man it ls all the pinkie pie episodes put into one! That's creative right there! And damn you for giving me all these feels from our favorite pony!
Ooh! Ooh! I've got something for this!
Discord is Rubeus Hagrid confirmed
You know, I have to wonder, how did anyone vote for Derby to become mayor? I mean don’t they know how clumsy she is and how she keeps forgetting stuff? No offense to Derby, she’s my favorite background pony but she doesn’t seem like an ideal choice for mayor
9224357
Maybe she won the election in a landslide. Just like President Quentin Trembley.