You Tell Me The Epicness

“As we pan into frame, we see our heroin strolling along the quiet marketplace. It’s almost too quiet or that in-between of being sure or not sure” The voice of Morgan Freeman spoke with his vowels delivering many majestic roundhouse kicks to the air waves.

“The hay was that? And whoever you are, it’s almost midnight. That’s why it’s so quiet.” A generic alicorn OC stated with a hint of repugnance.

The Freeman noticed the distaste in his words, but he did not let it show or faze him. Instead he did what he was born to do; speak more words. “I am the narrator. I was brought here after my death just like every other standard human in Equestria story. So would you like me to leave or continue the story?”

“I would prefer the first option”

“Well too bad. I’m Morgan Freeman so I stay.”

The predictable OC gazed at him with a stare of Michael Bay, possibly attempting to cause an unnecessary explosion. The Freeman was still there though waiting for the heroine to continue his evening walk.

“Perhaps you were wondering why I didn’t explode. I shall only explain after you complete the tasks that count three. One, bring me a summer lily. Two, retrieve a horn shaving of Celestia. Three, feed me grapes as I relax on this fainting couch.” Morgan Freeman then proceeded to collapse onto the couch in a way that only angels were fit to sing.

The OC looked to him in awe and confusion for hours, I mean literal hours. He hasn’t even blinked. He must be the staring champion or something in this world. Besides that, he stared and stared and……”HEY! DO SOMETHING! THIS IS BORING!”

With the encouragement to continue, he approached the Freeman with the three items and for some reason, the head of Nicolas Cage. Before he had made the long journey to the couch, he noticed a man in an orange and black suit. He stood there with Morgan Freeman; not saying a word. The stranger was adorned with a luscious beard, glasses, and a crowbar in his right hand. Our heroin treaded toward the man opening his mouth to speak.

“So... Are you another storyteller?”

The man did not respond. He stood dominantly in the same position gazing into Luna’s sky. His eyes speckled with the many blimps in space. This silence was not to last for a story was to be told and we had a Morgan Freeman. Don’t you love conveniences?

“So my little pony? I see you retrieved the three items. The lily of summer days in the middle of winter must not have been easy to retrieve. The shavings of your beloved princess horn was not a task to be simple either. You must have used your overpowered magic to time travel for the lily and your creator having you and Celestia shipped like Fed Ex. Of these things, I cannot say I’m surprised.”

Our OC looked to the Freeman, nodding in positive acknowledgement from his analysis. He then prodded his hoof through the air pointing to the stranger who has yet to move.

“Oh, that man? That is my half-brother. He is Gordon Freeman; the one who saved earth on many occasions by being a rouge physicist. We have different parents if you couldn’t tell with your OC powers. Now if you would, progress to feed me the fruit.”

The OC trotted slowly to Morgan Freeman. As he was about to release the grape into the mouth of an angel, he felt the tantalizing contact of Gordon’s lips pressed against his. As he expected, he melted into the kiss and there tongues raged for control. Assault after assault, the OC had won the tongue war. Gordon pushed just far enough from the OC to speak. “Damn it, you irresistible spawn of pony creator! I love you!”

They instantly re-spawned at an alter securing there marriage with the same kiss that has yet to stop since it began. The ponies of Equestria rejoiced at the union of love that was unmatched by any others. Princess Cadence sat in amazement wondering how she had not been so lucky to be with him.

Suddenly, a random changeling swarm, Reaper fleet, and Combine invasion ran havoc and chaos through the ceremony halls. While the many groups of ponies ran in terror, our heroin and his lover did a kung-fu ninja ju-jitsu roundhouse Chuck Norris kick that sent the many pest blasting off again. With the day saved once again by generic OC and overpowered physicist, they teleported to the future.

With many bad OC physicist baby running about the ground, Celestia, Twilight, Luna, and Cadence constantly kept requesting to marry them both for how awesome they were. The two glared at the other alicorn princesses and were met with the words from the generic OC. “You four are really bad OC’s. Whoever made you must be ashamed.”

As the mares regretted for being such bad OC’s, our heroin’s picked up there MLG Xbox One controllers and proceeded to pwn noobs at Call of Duty. He pulled out his rifle and killed everyone with his too pro MLG 360 flash bang no scoping skills with one bullet. While the newb sauces cried about him being so clutch, he was reported a humorous amount of time for “hacking”. Too bad for the nine year olds, he was to amazing to be kicked. Instead, he was shipped all the Doritos and Mountain Dew in the word for being such a bad ass player.

With the many people knocked off the leader board, the OC kicked his feet up and stared at the screen. He sat pondering on what he should do next and then it came to him. The most powerful pony in the universe at that moment threw Morgan Freeman into the depths of space for the obvious reason that you already know. “With such awesomeness, who needs a Morgan Freeman to make me sound like what everypony knows I am?”

Author's Note:

If you made it this far, you have earned yourself a cookie. Don't ask why I wrote this. Got bored. Hope you enjoyed this creature.

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