Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.3: It's All That Person's Fault!

by trahzo

Ch.4: Screwed-up Pooch!

"Next is...Screw loose, uh..."

"What's wrong Princess?"

"It's just that, Screw loose is the barking pony who is Screwball's pet."

"Wait, you mean to tell me, that the pet of Discord's daughter will be shipped with Spike, who was a dog in Equestria Girls and in the upcoming Rainbow Rocks?"

"Yes, I suppose we should start this now!"

"Right, just as long as the Author hasn't escaped."

---

Everyone was gathered at somepony's house & were not allowed to bring their dogs.

"Everypony! Listen, I am cured! I'm not a crazy barking pony who thinks she's a dog anymore, and to show you, behold!" Then a doctor pulled out a cat. "As the sterotype shows, dogs hate cats, but as you can see, I am showing the cat a-lot of love, so that should prove once & for all that I am cured, once & for all!"

Then they all started saying things such as: "Dogs & Cats can still love eachother!" "I don't want you to pee on my carpet, or poo on my lawn!" "Hey bitch, where's your leash?" "Go back to your owner Screwball!" "Go marry a Diamond Dog!" After hearing the doubts of the ponies, tears began to form, and she slammed her doors shut!

"Yeah, stay in your dog house & die!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!" Shouted The Mane Seven, followed by the Handicapped community and the Special community.

"You Ponies think you're all that becuase there's nothing wrong with you, but if someone from our communities removes what's wrong, you reject that pony! You guys are damn hypocrites!" Said a Stallion who was standing on his hind legs because he was born with only front legs.

Then a mare did sign language & Spike translated. "She says that you guys gotta try and understand rather than reject us! I can't believe how horrible you can be when you see somepony want to return to you! You seriously suck!"

"You guys, COCK are such jerks, we want you guys to accept COCK us for who we our!" Said a pony with tourettes.

As the angered ponies went on, Spike went into the house.

"Hello? Screw loose?" He heard a sobbing come from the kitchen. "Screw loose?"

"What do you want? You better run get away, I might go wolf and attack! *Sob* *Sob* *Sob*!"

"No, I'm coming over there, and I'm gonna give you a hug!"

"Wha?"

"You were very brave there to tell them off! But now me & my friends, handicapped, and specials have teamed-up to defend you."

"You're doing all of this for me?"

"Of course, now come here!" Then he comforted the sad mare.

"You know, I was just wondering, what's your name?"

"I'm Spike, Assistant #1 to Princess Twilight Sparkle."

"The top assistant to a Princess?"

"Yep, and I want to protect you the most!"

"Thank you Spike, you are such a good dragon!"

"Well, I was raised right, of course I'd be a good dragon! Wanna sneak out & eat at Sugarcube Corner?"

"Okay."

"Good to hear."

So they sneaked through the back as the raging fire raged on harder! Eventually they made it because everypony was arguing at Screw loose's home!

"Hey Mr.Cake!"

"Oh, Hello Spike, who's this? Your girlfriend?"

"Funny, and no! Give this girl the happy day special. Don't worry, I'll pay."

"Sure."

Later, the Happy Day Special arrived and wow, it was indescribably amazing!

"Wow..."

"Go-on, eat up!"

She wasted no time, creating a big dent in it in a minute! Though, she was eating...I know you guys are going to hate me for this joke...like a dog!

*The Reader groaning because of how bad it was!*

When she was done eating, she looked up to see Spike & Carrot Cake 's faces covered in Mint, bubblegum, and Blueberry Ice cream.

"Well, here's your money Mr.Cake."

"Thank you Spike, you really made her smile."

"Oh shaddap, it aint like that!"

"Yeah, just teasing you kid."

So as they were leaving the Sweet Shop, they were introduced to the Evil Catmare!

"Hello, I heard you don't bark anymore!"

"Doh, not you again!" groaned Screw loose.

"Who's this?" Asked Spike

"She's my next door neighbor who hates me because back then...I was dog obsessed, and she was cat obsessed!"

"Oh, so that explains why you were in that condition?"

"Exactly, back then, we were at constant odds, going at it like Cats & those nasty mammal versions of frogs called dogs!"

"Hey, dogs protected ponies from robbers and you know it!"

"Well cats ate rats & you know it!"

Then they started aggressively barking and nyaning at eachother!

"HEY, QUIT IT YOU 2, You're going to attract the attention of those ponies who think you're freaks! Come-on Screw loose, let's go! Also, for you miss Catmare..." He pulled a tuna out of nowhere & he threw it in which she chased after it and it fell into a fance where she didn't notice until it was too late. She climbed into a pound!

"MEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWW YOU'LL PAY FOR THISSSSSSSS!!!"

"Spike...that was incredible! Look, there's blood spewing out of the pound, oh look, her head just flew into the air! I've finally won!"

"Yeah, well, I can't leave a lady in danger wait...did you just say she's de..." Then Screw loose started licking his face.

Years later...

"Arf, arf! Please master, punish me more, I'm such a horrible bitch!"

They kept the kink of Screw loose acting like a dog after they got married.

"Yep, you've been bad, so you deserve a good spanking!"

---

"We all knew Spike such a dog, but must he treat his wife that way?"

"Please no more dog jokes, I cannot take anymore! Just get the next letter!"

Comments

[TheBlackKirin]

Huh spike just killed a mare...... HAHAHAHAHA!

[OmniFox]

He Spiked another one!

[Blood Brandy]

Just a quick thing, it's Screw Loose