"Hey Snails, you can open your eyes now!" Raindrops' voice was unusually bright and cheerful, especially given that there wasn't even the slightest chance of rain that day. "We're here!"
Snails, who had ridden on his sister's back ever since getting off the train, took his forehooves off his eyes and looked up. In front of them was a big, colorful building that was flanked by statues of bees, ants, grasshoppers, and venomous widow-maker spiders. "YAY!" he screamed, flinging his hooves around Raindrops' neck. "The insectarium! It's like a dream come true!"
"Now remember, the insectarium has three rules," said Cheerilee. "Don't hurt the bugs, learn a lot, and HAVE FUN!"
Carrot Top, who had indeed joined the group back at the Ponyville train station, laughed. "Also, Snails, I'll expect you to find a few good bugs I could use in my carrot garden, okay? Think you can do that for me?"
Snails saluted. "I won't let you down!" he promised. "I'll find the best bugs in all Equestria for you!"
"That's my little brother." Raindrops gave Snails another hug. "Let's go get you a ticket, okay?"
It only took a few minutes for the four of them to enter the building, at which point Snails' mouth dropped. There were bug exhibits everywhere. Massive mechanical spiders and crickets waved their legs, controlled by enchantments that Snails vowed to learn someday. Docents were everywhere, showing foals bugs and even letting them touch some of the specimins. The cafeteria promised all kinds of bug-themed snacks, from the 'Ladybug's Lettuce Wrap' to the 'Katydid's Carrot Sandwich.' And in the back there was a bright red door, with the words 'Bug Playpen--Foals Only!' on the outside, and a mob of foals trying to push through it.
"Raindrops! Can I go into the playpen?" asked Snails. "Please please please?"
"Sure--"
"Horray!" Snails gave his big sister one last hug. "I love you," he said. "And you love me." He blinked. "I'm a good little brother, aren't I?"
"Course you are. You're the best little brother I could hope for." Raindrops patted him on the head. "Now, go have fun--and I don't want you to come back until even you are all bugged-out.
Snails grinned, then scampered off.
Cheerilee smiled as the colt ran into the playpen area. "Your brother is one of my most excitable students, Raindrops. It's a joy to have such energy in class."
Raindrops laughed. "I should tell you sometime about the bug amusement park he built in the backyard. He's a good foal."
"All foals are good," said Cheerilee.
"Well... there's many good foals. And then there's Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon." Raindrops paused. "I hope you'll talk to them."
"I--"
"Let me rephrase: you're going to talk to them." Raindrops' eyes suddenly flashed. "Those two brats--"
"I will, don't worry." Cheerilee held up a hoof as if to soothe Raindrops. "I already drafted the next parent-teacher notice on the train here."
"Good. Snails deserves better than to be bullied by those two everyday." Raindrops took a deep breath, making herself calm down. "It's not right."
"I agree." Cheerilee sighed. "I'll try again to... show them the error of their ways. In as much detail as necessary." She paused. "If it makes you feel better, Snails shouldn't have to deal with this for too much longer. Foals do tend to mature with time."
"And in the meantime?" asked Carrot Top.
Cheerilee gave a thin smile. "Detention and homework--and plenty of both."
The three laughed merrily.
After a few moments, Cheerilee glanced at the sun. "I should head over to the Educator's Workshop. The insectarium staff will be listing all the resources they have to help us teach foals about bugs. I'm hoping that 'field trips' are one of them. I think it could be really educational to take the foals here for a day, provided they don't all get lost again."
"Yes, preventing that would be nice," said Carrot Top as Raindrops laughed. "I'll be at the exhibits on farming bugs. See if there's anything new the Farmer's Union should know about."
Cheerilee grinned. "That's a wonderful idea, Carrot Top. See? We all know you've got good business sense."
The carrot farmer blushed. "It was Green Grape's idea."
After a short pause, Cheerilee stammered an apology, but Carrot Top smiled. "It's okay. My credentials as a Knight are getting me a behind-the-scenes tour anyways. Red Onion's convinced they're breeding super bees that produce twice as much honey as other hives, so I guess I'll find out if it's true... and if it is, the Farmer's Union might get first dibs."
"You'll be here all day?" Raindrops asked.
Carrot Top nodded, but Cheerilee shook her head. "The workshop breaks for lunch, and I'm meeting an old friend at The Yummy Flower. Feel free to come by! Duty would love to meet you."
"Duty?" asked Carrot Top. "Who's she?"
"Duty Enpay. I knew her in my youth. She ran a little 'import-export business' in Canterlot; we worked together a few times and became friends."
Something about the way Cheerilee had stressed the words 'import-export' struck Raindrops as odd. "An import-export business, huh?"
"Sure. For instance, let's say you wanted a fine Pferdreich scarf for your special somepony, and the imports were closed because the Equestrian diplomat was overheard saying that Pferdreich President's mane was ugly, and all trade shut down for a week... she had you covered." Cheerilee giggled. "We certainly got into some hijinks..."
Carrot Top blinked. "You're having lunch with a criminal?"
"Well, she's gone straight now. And trust me, she's a great pony. You'll love her if you meet her."
Raindrops opened her mouth to make a quip, but suddenly she found herself thinking of something else.
***
"This is gonna be so awesome!" said Snails as he dragged out a box full of dusty comic books. "My new terrarium will be the biggest ever!"
Raindrops couldn't quite hide her grin. Snails had worked on a bug terrarium for over a month, carefully turning an old fish tank into the perfect bug habitat. "Where will you put it?"
"Right here!" Snails finished moving the comics into the center of the room, then dragged the terrarium from the door to the spot where the comics had been. "It's too bad I don't have room for these comics, but bugs are much more awesome. They play with you, and they're good to cuddle with on rainy days."
"What'll you do with the comics?"
"I asked Miss Cheerilee for advice, and she said that if I don't have room for them anymore and don't read them anyways, it might be nice to give them to the other colts and fillies so they can have fun with them too! And I counted, and I have just enough so everypony gets one."
"Everypony?" asked Raindrops as Snails began to drag the comics downstairs.
"Uh-huh! Everypony! That way everypony can know how awesome Captain Horseshoe is!"
Raindrops didn't give the issue any more thought until later that night, when they were eating dinner at home. Noting Snails' happy smile, Raindrops asked, "How'd the comic giveaway go?"
"Oh, it was really fun! Almost everypony liked them."
"Almost?"
"Well..." Snails' smile slipped for a moment. "Diamond Tiara called me a dork and threw hers in a mud puddle." He was quiet for a moment. "But the rest of the foals really liked them! Snips was following me around all day thanking me! And..."
For a moment, Raindrops could only think of Diamond Tiara, the arrogant filly who had once again hurt Snails when all he was trying to do was be nice to her despite all of her preceding cruelties. But then Snails began to levitate the mustard towards himself, and Shutterbug raced to help before he spattered them all with liquid condiments, and Raindrops let the thought sink to the back of her mind.
***
Raindrops didn't understand exactly what had brought the memory to mind. She just shook her head and told herself that if Cheerilee was vouching for Duty Enpay, that was enough. "I'd love to meet her," she said. "Any friend of yours is a friend of ours."
"Wonderful!" said Cheerilee. "This will be so much fun! I'll make sure she tells all the awesome stories. Especially the one where our wagon broke down at the Griffin Kingdom/Equestrian border, with the local warlord right on our tails, and all we had to defend ourselves with was a dozen kegs of cider." She grinned. "Who knew Lord Beakyclaw could drink so much? And we should tell her our stories too, like when you and your martial arts teacher got jumped by those stallions from a rival martial arts school."
"That wasn't much of a story. We just kicked their flanks," said Raindrops.
Carrot Top opened her mouth, closed it, and then said, "I guess I could talk about farming or something..." For a moment, she looked troubled.
Raindrops frowned. "Are you okay?"
"Me? I'm fine," said Carrot Top. "Don't worry about me. Anyways, I've got to go to the Farming Bugs wing. See you later!"
She cantered off. A moment later, Cheerilee left as well, and Raindrops settled in to wait for Snails.
***
Max wrinkled his nose as he climbed up the stairs leading to the garret apartment. He had never been to this part of town, and he doubted he would be back.The buildings were old and rusty, and the paths were more trash-strewn than the roads up by the castle. It wasn't quite a slum, but it wasn't anywhere any tourist would ever willingly go either. He wondered again whether he should just go home. But he hated to give up, and so after a moment, he made himself keep climbing the stairs.
He had gone to the Jasmine Teahouse, which he had first visited during that mess with the Sun Cult six months ago, and which he still tried to patronize at least once every two weeks. It was oddly peaceful and tranquil, a nice respite from the constant political scrambling of the Court, and even though Max was the youngest customer by thirty years, he found it pleasant. He had entered and ordered a cup of tea from the aged proprietor Wolfgang, as usual--that Diamond Dog could brew a mean cup of tea--and sat on a cushion by the old hippogriff and older elk that were always in the middle of a game of chess. He'd then waited for a particular pony that he wanted to meet, one that was often up during the day and was willing to give him advice and critique (and the occasional bonk over the head with a cane).
But he hadn't been able to wait for long. Wolfgang had looked up from the coffee pot he was working on and called out, "Anybody seen Fetlockson today?"
"Nope," the elk had said, moving a chess piece. "Isn't he here yet?"
Wolfgang had shaken his head slowly. "Hasn't been in all morning. That's not like him. He's here every day, rain or shine..."
Max had looked out the window. It was still a beautiful day, and he couldn't see any weather-related reasons why somepony wouldn't make their usual appointment at the teahouse. "Maybe he's ill?"
"Never knew Fetlockson to be ill," an ancient griffin had said.
The members of the teahouse had tossed out many theories, none of which Wolfgang seemed to find persuasive. Finally, he had sighed. "Hey, Max. Can you do me a favor? I've got a bad feeling about this."
Max had risen to his hooves. Wolfgang had helped him save several lives a few months ago, during the Sun Cult affair, and Max knew that the old Diamond Dog was a lot more perceptive than most ponies gave him credit for. "What is it?"
"Can you check on Fetlockson? He's come in every day for the past five years--thunderstorms, blizzards, even holidays. I'm worried he's hurt."
"Maybe he died," the hippogriff had said, with the air of someone who knew that death was very near for all of them and had long since made her peace with the matter.
"Maybe so," Wolfgang had agreed. "But I'd like to know for sure. You're not doing anything else that's more important, are you, Max? Could you look in on him?"
And so Max had found himself in an obscure neighborhood approaching an old apartment. On one hoof, he thought, it was nice to do something directly for a change--take a step to solve a problem, rather than writing a bill that might, in five months, set other actions in motion that might one day accomplish something, But at the same time... he was a noble of the Court. He wanted to be doing important things, things that helped ponies. And now he couldn't, because Fisher thought he was useless.
He wasn't mad that he was literally stuck looking for a senior citizen who had probably just forgotten to get tea that day. He was frustrated that it was literally the most important thing he could be doing at the moment.
He sighed and put a hoof on the stairwell railing to steady himself. Yes, he was frustrated by his work sometimes--the arcane procedures that were needed just to pass a simple transportation funding bill were enough to make him wish he was trapped on a mountain during a blizzard instead. Yes, he'd rather be helping to build a road again--or at least writing bills to fund roads to towns that needed them. He was finally starting to have an impact, after having spent so much time learning from Posey and his other teachers, and even if it wasn't the same as building something with his own hooves, he'd rather have that kind of effect on the nation's ponies than none at all. But if he couldn't serve the government at the moment, because Fisher wouldn't let him contribute to the latest crisis, then he could at least see if this one pony was in trouble. After all, he served the citizens of the nation, and this citizen might need him.
Feeling a little better, Max reached the apartment and knocked. "Mr. Fetlockson? Wolfgang sent--"
The door swung open.
Puzzled, Max entered the apartment and looked around. It was small and decorated mostly with pictures of racetracks and the occasional trophy, as if Fetlockson had been a champion runner a long time ago. Max also found a series of yellowed newspaper articles pinned to one wall; they spoke of a famous cat burglar, the Cat-like Colt, who had been active in the city twenty-five years prior. The last article said that the Cat-like Colt had stolen the Canter Trophy, a very prestigious award granted to the top twenty milers in the nation.
Max frowned. Had Fetlockson won the Canter Trophy, only to have it stolen by the burgler? Maybe then he was trying to track down the burgler, had found a lead, and had gone looking for him. But the crime was twenty-five years old; Max couldn't see what kind of lead Fetlockson might have found at this point. Or maybe Fetlockson had been the burgler, chronicling his own career, but then why do anything different now than before? Or maybe he was just an amateur sleuth who liked following up on cold cases. Max didn't know.
What he did know was that Fetlockson wasn't there, and there was no sign of struggle. Max was about to turn around and go tell Wolfgang that he'd had no luck when he saw a table by the bed with a large, ornate trophy--the most ornate in the apartment--and a notepad with writing on it. It had, Max saw, a few names and times listed in rows, as if it were an appointment schedule. One such name, Don Arnaqueur, showed up several times. Listed next to the last time was a price--and a very large one at that. And next to that was a single pair of words: "BITS ONLY".
Max hesitated. This was starting to remind him, again, of his run-in with the Sun Cult six months ago. The cult's plot had been foiled by the thinnest of margins, and Max himself had come out of that one (mostly) unscathed, but not everypony had gotten off so easy. Greengrass, for instance, had not only lost his secretary (and best friend) but had almost been murdered. Max had no desire to get involved in another mess involving criminal elements within the city; getting attacked by a pony the size of a small carriage once was enough for him. Besides, technically, this wasn't even his job. The Guards were the ponies whose duty it was to look into things like this.
But Fetlockson might be in danger--or a danger to others--and Max knew he didn't have enough evidence to go to the Guards. Especially, he thought, not with most of them deployed towards hunting down escaped criminals. If there really was a problem here, Max figured he might be the only one who could do something about it. If he backed out, and a tragedy occurred...
Max shut his eyes for a moment. I'll just go check with Arnaqueur. I can look up his address at the Hall of Records. I'm sure he's just selling Fetlockson some runner memorabilia, or maybe he recovered that Canter Trophy somehow. Fetlockson was probably just so eager to get it that he forgot about his tea and about locking the door. They're probably fine.
He nodded to himself, and then turned and left the apartment.
***
Snails looked at the bugs dancing in front of him and wondered if life could get any better.
There were ladybugs larger than any he could have imagined, and the docents had let them crawl happily over his coat and tickle him silly. There were beatles and ants that danced in neat patterns like they were having a bug party. There were fireflies in the darkened section of the playroom, leaving trails of light in the shapes of flowers and candy and everything Snails liked. There was even a huge beatle, bigger than his biggest pet back home by half, and Snails got to talk to it and play with it and even hug it. Bugs are good, Snails thought. They're good friends.
His earlier sadness was gone, and as he trotted back towards Ladybug Land, he knew that he was smiling so brightly it almost hurt. Despite one bad bee, it had been pretty much a perfect day. I'm not even sure, he thought, If it could possibly get any better! He rounded a corner--
And found himself staring at Diamond Tiara, who appeared to be trying to shield herself from dozens of bugs simultaneously..
They just stared at each other for a moment, Diamond Tiara not even noticing a few bugs sneaking into her mane. Snails broke out of his stupor first. "What are you doing here?" he demanded. "Stop following me!"
"We're not following you!" said Silver Spoon, trotting up behind Diamond Tiara. She looked just as unhappy as her companion. "You're following us!"
"No I'm not! My big sister brought me here! And... hey, wait a minute. Why are you here? You don't like bugs." Snails tilted his head.
Diamond Tiara scowled, then forced a smile onto her face. "Our daddies always come to grand openings. You see, they're very important ponies who are always trying to meet other important ponies! Now they want to import honeybees from here into Ponyville. They let us play here while they went to talk to--"
"Oh, I see!" said Snails. "They dumped you here so they could go do business stuff with the adults!" He smiled, happy to have figured something out. "Ha ha!"
"We weren't dumped anywhere!" snapped Diamond Tiara. "We're supposed to learn about the bees because our daddies will be-- EEK!" A bug had flown near both of them, causing her to jump back at Silver Spoon and knocking them both over.
Snails laughed again. Serves you right for being mean to me after that test! "Well, I'm here because my big sister loves me and thought she'd give me a treat!" he said. "See? I'm totally a good brother."
"Nuh-uh!"
"Uh-huh!" Snails grinned. "My sister loves me so much that she thinks I'm the best little brother in the world! I bet you two wish you had a big sister as good as mine is."
"As if! Your sister--"
"Thinks I'm such a good brother she took me all the way to Canterlot so I could have fun!" Snails was not usually a malicious foal, but he saw an opportunity to get a little revenge for their earlier insults. "And your dads probably brought you here 'cause they know you don't know anything about bugs and they want to make sure you learn!"
For a moment, Snails thought he saw steam rising from Diamond Tiara's ears. She even raised a hoof as if planning on jumping at him and getting right in his face. But then Silver Spoon put a hoof on her shoulder. "Ignore him, DT. Let's just wait for our daddies. They'll buy us something nice for the ride home."
Unfortunately, Snails could not resist making one parting jab. "Yeah, but they can't buy you the best sister in the world!" He beamed. "Because you can't buy ponies, and anyways I've already got the best sister!"
"Says so," snapped Diamond Tiara. "Raindrops is just some weathermare who--"
Silver Spoon paused, as if thinking something over, and a small smile formed on her face. She put a hoof on Diamond Tiara's shoulder to quiet her, then said, "What do you mean you can't buy ponies? Don't you--oh..." She trailed off, then gave Diamond Tiara a meaningful look. "He doesn't know."
"Know what?" asked Snails. Probably some dumb girly thing.
Silver Spoon waved this off. "In fact... Snails, isn't your birthday soon?"
"Next week, why?" He blinked. "Are you getting me a present?"
"We would. But, see... you won't be around to get it." Silver Spoon sighed. "Snails, do you know what a warranty is?"
The foal frowned. "It's... uh... it's where if you get something and it breaks you can give it back and get a new one, right?"
"Exactly. So if your clothes or saddlebag tore, she could return that too before the warranty ran out?"
Snails blinked. "Yes, but... who cares?"
"Because your warranty is about to run out, Snails!" Silver Spoon spread her hooves wide. "DIdn't anypony tell you where foals come from? It's from the Foal Company. And all foals come with warranties, but they expire on their birthdays, and yours is about to run out. Raindrops is probably here to replace you before she can't trade you back anymore."
Snails blinked. "But... wait. Foals don't come from stores!"
"Oh yeah? Then where do they come from?" challenged Silver Spoon. "Do they grow up from the ground? Do adults pick them from trees? Does Luna craft them from stardust?"
"Uh..." Snails blushed. He didn't know where foals came from, despite his best efforts to get his sister to tell him. Still, the idea that you could get them in a store seemed absurd for some reason. "But when Mrs. Cake got new foals, she didn't go to a store! She went to the hospital!"
"Obviously, the Foal Company has a retail branch in the hospital," said Silver Spoon. "Duh."
They're just lying again! Because they're big meanines! thought Snails. "I don't believe you. Prove it!"
"Really? Look over there!" Silver Spoon pointed out a window at a boutique across the street, where half a dozen foals were dressed in the latest schoolyard fashions and were parading around behind the shop windows. "That store's got a half dozen of the newest, best models right there!"
"Isn't that a clothing store?"
"Since when do clothing stores have live models?" asked Silver Spoon. "Does Rarity? Do any of the Ponyville shops? No, that's a foal store. They sell some of the best foal models in the city."
"Those ones put the old Snails model to shame," added Diamond Tiara. "They're smart, they're fast, they have great special talents like, uh, being awesome or being pretty or being rich..."
"That's stupid!" said Snails. "And--and even if you could replace foals, Raindrops wouldn't! My sister thinks my special talent's fine, and there's nothing she'd want in a brother that I don't have."
"How about wings?" asked Silver Spoon.
Snails blanched. He did know that his parents had been forced to move from Cloudsdale because he, unlike his entire family, was not a pegasus. He knew that Raindrops occasionally said she wanted to visit there. But... "She wouldn't replace me for a foal with wings!"
"How about a handsome, smart foal with wings?" asked Diamond Tiara. "One with a really good special talent, like making money or persuading other ponies to do what they want! You know, a talent worth of the brother of an Element of Harmony. Not 'bugs.'"
"Hey!" Snails told himself that it was lies, just like before, but it was such an unlikely argument that a little part of him thought it might be true. After all, he thought, could they really come up with a lie like that? And hadn't Raindrops joked about Miss Cheerilee's 'expiration date' that one time when she didn't know Snails was listening? Sure, she'd said it was just about Cheerilee trying to find somepony to fall in love with, but what if ponies really did have warranties, and sell-by dates, and everything else? What if his warranty was almost up?
"Your sister brought you here so she could give you back to the manufacturer!" Silver Spoon said. "She probably just wanted to give you one last present before returning you."
"But..." Snails didn't want to believe it. Hadn't Raindrops taken him all the way to Canterlot just so he could have fun? But what if it really was just so she could return him and get a better foal? A pegasus like Beebop, or a really good magician like Dinky, or even a princess like Alula? "She wouldn't... she says everypony has worth. She wouldn't get rid of me." He made himself nod. "So there!"
"Snails, if everypony has worth, then it's not special to have worth, right?" Diamond Tiara's voice was bright and malicious. "If the best she can say of you is that you're like everypony else, then you're not different than anypony else. You're not better than them. But she's a hero, a Knight of the Realm. She probably wants a special brother, one who doesn't just have worth, one who excels..."
Snails was beginning to cry again as the two bullies blasted away at him. "But I'm... I'm..."
"Excuse me?" The foals turned to see a mare adult, a butter-yellow unicorn with a warm smile. "Is there a problem?"
If it hadn't been for the interruption, Snails might have recovered, but being seen at his lowest by a friendly pony--a pony who would probably think he was a dummy, like everypony else--was too much. "No!" he wailed, and then took off at a dead run.
He ran and he ran, blasting out of the rear exit of the playroom and then the back door to the insectarium, and he didn't stop until he'd left the bullies far behind.
He couldn't face anypony at that moment.
***
When Snails came back to himself, he was in an unfamiliar part of the city.
It didn't look like a nice neighborhood. He had gone down the levels of the city whenever he'd had the chance, unknowingly following a steep path that connected the insectarium and other nearby shops with the warehouses on the lowest level of Canterlot, and not he couldn't descend any further or find his way back up. Ponies walked by on occasion, big muscular stallions and mares with a lot of goods to carry and no time for a little foal. There weren't any shops or restaurants where he might stop and get his bearings. There weren't even any Guards he could ask for help.
He sighed, tears falling from his eyes into the dirt. He knew that he shouldn't have run, and that, even if Raindrops hadn't been mad before, she'd be furious now. She'd come all this way so Snails could have fun, and he'd just gotten sad again, and run off to boot. But he hadn't been able to help it. He knew it was stupid, and bad, and everything else, but he'd run anyway. I'm a terrible pony...
A gust of wind blew a notice by him. He caught it with his telekinesis and read. "Warning. Dangerous criminals escaped. Manetelli Luca, Mareio Luca, Sol... uh..." He trailed off, then skipped ahead. "If you see these ponies, contact the Guards."
Oh... now she'll panic even more and think I got abducted by criminals like Dinky was last year. And when she finds out I ran just cause I'm a stupid weak dummy, she'll hate me and want to have me replaced...
Snails recalled how the Cakes had gotten new foals, twins, and the twins had little tags stick out of the backs of their coats when Snails had stopped by to see them. The Cakes had said the tags were for the coat company. But what if they were for the foal company? What if the Cakes had just ordered two foals, and gotten them, and could return them at any time if the foals disappointed them? What if Raindrops did the same?
He knew these thoughts were cruel towards his sister, but that only made him feel even more worthless. So he just slumped down. I don't even know how to get back...
After about five minutes of standing immobile, he noticed a bug near his muzzle. It was a strange bug, one he had read about but hadn't seen. It was as big as two bits laid end to end, and its feet were unusually big and strong. It was a potato bug, he thought. Where did it come from? I didn't think there were any in Equestria. They're a Mild West bug...
"Hi," said Snails. "I'm sorry I can't play with you now. I'm lost, and... could you help me find somewhere safe to go? Please?"
It began walking away. Snails blinked, then began chasing after it. "Hey, wait up!" He didn't know why he should be following this bug, but he didn't have anything else that he could do, and maybe the bug was smarter than him and could figure something out. "Where are we?"
The bug didn't answer. It just kept moving--unusually quickly for a bug.
Snails chased it through the warehouse lanes, steadily moving from the inhabited, active warehouses to a set of blocks in which most of the buildings seemed abandoned. The bug zipped towards one of these buildings, then slipped through a crack under the door and was gone.
"Come back!" Snails climbed through an open window and found himself in an empty hanger-sized room. There was a steep stairwell down, so Snails raced down the stairs, looking for his bug, and...
And found himself in a beautiful garden.
He stared at the impossible sight. There were flowers of every color and type, and tranquil paths winding through them, and even a small pond in the center. Vines climbed the walls towards the ceiling, heavy with grapes that looked and smelled delicious. Bugs--agricultural bugs, ones Snails knew well from his studies--scampered around underhoof and buzzed in the air, pollinating flowers and churning the soil.
"Wow..." breathed Snails.
He found the potato bug, as well as its buddies, quickly. One rose bush along the main path seemed to be having some trouble; a few branches and roses in the middle had died. Snails knew little of gardening but could guess that, if untreated, the dead parts of the plant could kill the remainder. Furthermore, the dead branches and roses were at the very heart of the bush, where nopony could reach without chopping through it and killing the still-living roses on the outside. But potato bugs ate dead plant matter, and Snails saw them racing around on the innermost dead branches, where some gardener had presumably placed them. It was, he realized, a very smart way of helping to get rid of the dead parts of the plant--by having a bunch of bugs eat them--without hurting the rest of it. "Cool!"
"Hmm?" From across the garden, another pony rose up from behind the bush where he'd been working. "Who's there?"
Snails was nervous for a moment, but then he remembered that he knew this pony from another trip to Canterlot.
"Hi Duke Greengrass!"
***
Greengrass looked at Snails, the younger brother of one of the angriest Knights of the Realm. He looked at the tears still glistening on the colt's face. He looked in vain for an adult or some other form of supervision. He looked, in his mind, at images of Raindrops tracking her wandering brother down, assuming Greengrass had abducted him, and kicking him in the face. He thought of his fortune declaring that it was going to be a rather bad day.
But he was Greengrass, Duke of Caneighda, and he was not the kind of pony to let the possibility of a bad day get him down.
So he bowed deeply. "Why, hello Snails!" he said. "Welcome to my humble abode."
Whoops, just realized I hadn't favorited this so as to follow it.
Wow, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon can be little bitches. But, again, I've known kids worse than them that grew up fine. Still, at the moment, they're kinda' bitches.
I'm going to admit that I'm surprised Snails doesn't know about the birds and the bees. Mostly because of how much time he spends observing bugs and animals; I'm sure he would have caught a few in the act every now and then and noticed that not long after the female of the pair tends to lay a lot of eggs. And from that, he could extrapolate. Also a lot of the bug books he got his hands on may talk about things like "mating." Then again, he is Snails, and therefor it's expected that he'd be a bit slow on the uptake.
I have a similar belief with Applebloom, though for her it's less bugs and more pigs, sheep, fruitbats, etc.
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I guess he's figured out reproduction for insects but not extrapolated that to ponies yet, I can see him walking around quite normally one day and then the penny just drops, "Oh!" although it might take a while to figure out eggs aren't involved and baby ponies are less likely to eat each other than many baby insects. That and extrapolating insect mating habits to ponies might not be the best way to get a date.
"Ahhhh! After out date she said if I was lucky she'd eat me! I don't want to be eaten!"
"Dude, that's generally considered a good end to a date."
"Really! Why? Does she plant her eggs in my corpse so our larva have something to eat?"
Well in the M-verse Sheep and maybe Pigs seems sentient so they might like some privacy unless they're exhibitionists. As for fruitbats as opposed to vampire fruitbats well they might be some sort of magic plant for all we know, they might reproduce asexually.
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Pigs haven't ever been depicted as anything other than unthinking animals, while sheep...well, there's a can of worms waiting there. Suffice to say that in the Lunaverse they're non-sapient, though capable of parroting speech.
New headcanon, there are multiple changelings living at the insectarium, happily soaking up the bug love. Snails alone can feed a family of four!
But seriously, hilarious ending with Greengrass.
I really just couldn't get into the scene at the insectarium. None of the dialogue felt in any way natural, too much dry expository declaration bereft of meaningful emotional context. Also, the whole sidetrack about DT&SS goes back to my problem with how excessively over the top their bullying was in the previous chapter. It just reflects poorly on Cheerilee if EVERYONE knows that they are bullies and yet she seemingly is unable to do ANYTHING to curtail such behavior. I don't want to lose them as foalish antagonists, but for them to get away with it the adults can't be nearly so aware of it all.
Seriously? Between the bug museum, visiting Cheerilee's friend, the farm expo, and now a play (not to mention that they still need to make time for meals) -- ALL while staying to together as a single group? This is all starting to sound way to busy for a supposedly casual day trip. Most people would be content to make a day of just one or two of those activities. Also, it feels a little too soon for there to be a professional play about their "triumph" over Corona, considering the tyrant sun is still at large.
The sidetrack about Carrot Top being billed as an ordinary pony due to her less flashy talents and accomplishments also seemed rather forced. Especially since Cheerilee would probably be much the same, since her "mysterious" past isn't exactly common knowledge in the first place. Heck if anything I'd expect a play to cast Cheerilee as the "boring" one, given that stuff CT has done during the course of our series is actually more likely to have made it to the papers. It really feels like you're projecting the external reading audience's perception of the characters into the setting.
Oh, so Cheerilee is doing her stuff on her own. I guess that helps with the time crunch a little, but it still feels like they are trying to cram too many activities into a single day.
Did you really have to drag a moral diatribe into this story. It's just so heavy handed and really kills what little mood and pacing you'd actually managed to build. I came here to be entertained, not waylaid by soapbox preaching.
A Diamond Dog running a Canterlot tea shop... really? That just doesn't seem to mesh at all well with any previous appearances. Keep in mind that here in the Lunaverse "Diamond Dog" is something of a pejorative label for the less savory members of the wider Cheeroonear race.
It seems improbable that any school-aged foals would not know about reproduction:
The ponies do not usually wear clothing. Foals probably would figure out how things fit together.
Mares are pregnant for 11 months which should be obvious to foals since they can see the distended abdomen because most mares do not wear clothes.
Snails keeps arthropods as pets and reads about them. He should know how they reproduce.
I know that Snails is slow in the LunaVerse, but to be this obtuse about pony-reproduction, he would have to be totally nonfunctional, thus the lie about the warranty should not work.
¿What would work?:
Snails knows that he is slower than most other foals. DiamondTiara and SilverSpoon can claim that that RainDrops will but him in an institution for nontrainable/noneducable ponies. We the readers know that he is far too smart for institutionalization and that he will lead a self-sufficient life, but as a pony who knows that he is slow and knows about institutions for ponies who cannot take care of themselves, a fear about institutionalization seems reasonable for him to harbor. Unfortunately, that would ruin the joke in the name of this chapter.
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At least he isn't going to yell "ZOOKEEPER!!! ZOOKEEPER!!!! THOSE MONKEYS ARE KILLING EACH OTHER!!!!!"
That being said, nobody wants him to be warped by TOO early exposure to the facts of life. That way lies referring to one's self in the third person and slamming down bourbon.....
Typo or new pet for Trixie?
That scene at the insectarium needs massive overhaul man. First the insectarium itself seems a bit bare and boring, you need to at least have a giant ant farm in there and a movie theatre. Secondly the whole exchange with Raindrops, Cheerilee and Carrot Top (who was barely there to begin with) is so stilted and leans WAY too much on the fourth wall. It feels like you're trying to talk to the audiance and convince them that Carrot Top isn't boring and generic! Cheerilee's mysterious past is supposed to be mysterious, not included in a play.
And the bit about Raindrops, RAINDROPS who, need I remind you, DISABLED a pony for life, being judgemental? REALLY? That felt way out of place here, and once again felt like talking AT the audiance.
Oh Max, always the optimist... A Diamond Dog in Canterlot feels awefully odd. I'm not against it but it feels...odd. Also you should rework your wording around the flash back to the tearoom, it left me confuse there about where it was.
Diamond Tiara's speech to Snails felt a bit too complex, vocabulary wise. It should be more like "Our Daddies always want to be at big eventsi n Canterlot, it's where you meet the important ponies." and it should be Ponyville that's exporting honey, not importing it.
Honestly the whole exchange about warranty would have been a LOT more fun if Snails had just lectured them about reproduction in extremely scientific details with super complicated words. It feels superfluous to have them show up and bully him again. Though I can see why you wanted him to run away, considering the end. It's rather cute to see him run into the Duke's secret garden.
Snails feels more and more out of character though. He's jumping to conclusion too fast! That's not his style. He shouldn't be imagining stuff about Raindrops panicking and being mad. That notice being blown in the wind just feels superfluous here.
Also the Sun Cult thing happened six monthes ago? Just like Twilight's house arrest? You should change it to five monthes ago, at least to avoid needless symetry.
No just no...
Okay, when the hell did DT and SS get replaced with their Maneverse counterparts?! Dead-serious, too. That's almost over the top for the M-versions!
Allright this feels a lot more natural! I like the new insectarium scene here. It works much better.
Little technical nitpicks, but I think all flashback moments should be in italic, that includes the scene in the last chapter that Snails remembers, and Max's visit to the tea house. It would make the transition more clear that way.
Duke Greengrass already fired his secretary in a previous fic you wrote. That said, the whole Solar Cult fic would have been better done as its own fic, so you don't break immersion by inserting another fic in this one, as well as having to juggle noone knowing what you're talking about, and explaining what caused the confusion in the first place.
Still, it's good to know that Notary was simply replaced? And it seems kind of stupid that Greengrass is still in the Night Court, and it makes even less sense (it being a meritocracy) that he's at a rank right below Archduke and above all the other ranks below Marquess (Such as Count, Viscount, Baron, etc.). Especially when during the Grand Galloping Galla he spilled the beans on what he thought of all of them; he was known to insult and speak against Luna (making him political poison), and his plans, all of them, came to light.
If Sleezeball was replaced, with a new Court member. Then Greengrass still having rank makes little sense. Again, if you had the Sun Cult fic where Greengrass existed as it's own fic. You could have set this up to actually make sense. As is ... it's not completely story breaking yet ... but its close if you didn't go through the convoluted steps needed to make it make sense in later chapters. Which again, would have been better with its own fic.
Why do I get the feeling that the quip in question involves a different definition of 'straight'?
Considering what he's done in Title Match, I'd say that he's already earned that right.
When Silver Spoon came up with her idea to tease Snails, I expected her to make up a story saying that Snails was adopted. The irony is I wasn't wrong, depending on how you look at it. But assuming foals could be returned and traded in for a new one, then why hasn't Filthy Rich traded Diamond Tiara in for a nicer filly, rather than keep the spoiled brat he was given? The same could be asked about Silver Spoon. Also, how would they have explained how Ditzy was able to get such a high quality model (Dinky) on such a low budget?
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To be fair, some creatures do reproduce asexually. Since Snails' talent isn't exclusive to insects, he does know a bit about worms, which reproduce asexually. And I'm pretty sure that jellyfish reproduce asexually as well. I don't know exactly how many of these traits transfer into the Lunaverse. But considering that a chopped off leg of a starfish can grow into its own starfish, I wouldn't be surprised if Snails believed ponies reproduced asexually.
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With his love for bugs, Ocelus was probably well fed all the way back in the Everfree.
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I'd argue the opposite. Children that age are still learning how the world works. just because they can put it together that male and female parts can go together, that doesn't mean they'll understand that that's how reproduction works. As for pregnancy, we have to assume that he's seen it for himself. My argument about Mrs. Cake would be that Snails has either only seen her with an apron on, or behind a counter. Considering his knowledge of bugs, the likeliness that any of them reproduce like mammals is low. And even if he did know, it doesn't mean children would be able to connect that to how they reproduce. Think of it in terms of humans. How many human children know how reproduction works before they are specifically taught about it?
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I'd argue that bullies don't always realize just how much their actions can hurt others. I remember a fanfic that had DT bullying Dinky. The result ended with Dinky so hurt that she jumped off a cliff and committed suicide. The resulting chaos gave Discord the power to turn back time to allow DT a redo of the scenario, and ending with a good ending. But the point is that DT didn't realize just how Dinky would've reacted. Granted, Lunaverse DT isn't as crass as Maneverse DT. But the worst that Maneverse DT has done was address Scootaloo's inability to fly. But that still deeply hurt Scootaloo. My point is that even though what DT and SS said was cruel, I don't think they ever intended for him to run away and get lost during a dangerous situation. And to be fair, Snails did retaliate originally, which pushed DT to go more extreme.
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Though your point about italicizing flashbacks is valid, I don't recall the Tea House scene being a flashback.