More Dreams

by totallynotabrony

To the Tune of Space Jam

Down at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie and Coloratura were having donuts. Cordoba sat nearby, sipping a cup of coffee.

“So then I said, if you don’t like the sugar, there’s always cumin!” Pinkie laughed. Coloratura frowned as if she didn’t understand the joke but was fairly certain that it was dirty.

Applejack walked in. “There you are, Coloratura. I heard you were out of the hospital. How are you feeling?”

“Well, better. Not best.” Coloratura summoned a weak smile. “Donut?”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Applejack sat down.

Rainbow came in. “Hey AJ, you have to hide me! Rarity is on one of her fashion kicks again and-“

Rainbow was interrupted as Rarity came in. “There you are! Rainbow, you promised you’d help me.”

“How about a donut first?” Rainbow quickly interjected. “After all the chasing me you did, you can justify it.”

Rarity sniffed, but conceded. “All right.”

“And look.” Rainbow pointed out the window. “If you need a pegasus, there’s Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy came in. “Did somepony call me?”

Twilight was right behind her. “Pinkie, there you are. You know a lot about stains, right? There’s something on the couch that I think I’d like to remove.”

“Why did you come to me?” Pinkie asked. “Is it because I have mad sex all the time?”

“Angry sex?” Cordoba asked.

“Crazy sex,” Pinkie corrected. “Crazy good.”

Fluttershy shuddered.

“One thing I miss,” Coloratura murmured. “Since getting famous, I never indulged for fear of somepony making a sex tape.”

Sex tapes actually decrease popularity in Equestria, you see.

“I would have sex with you, if you know what I mean,” said Pinkie, wiggling her eyebrows.

“As your manager, I strongly advise against this,” said Applejack.

“Oh come on, AJ! You totally cock blocked me!” Pinkie complained.

“Cock blocked?” Rainbow said, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, you know, the female equivalent,” said Pinkie. “Twat stopped. Boxed Out. Vajected. Clam jammed. Otherwise, I would have been all like, come on and clam and welcome to the jam!”

“We get it, you’re gay,” said Twilight. “You don’t have to keep pushing your agenda.”

“Agenda? Do I really look like somepony with a plan?” said Pinkie.

“Speaking of plans.” Applejack changed the subject. “How’s this for a plan: we need to do something about Valiant’s body. It’s still sitting in the barn.”

“Do we have to?” said Rainbow.

“It’s starting to smell.”

Twilight broke in. “Related, we need to do something about the couch.”

“You said something about a stain?” said Rarity.

“Well, more like a blemish. Something that shouldn’t be there.”

“Darling, you’re usually so concise. What is it?” Rarity asked.

Twilight sighed. “You really should see it.”

“Roadtrip!” cheered Pinkie.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “We’re going across the street to the library.”

The gang got their last donuts and went to the library. Cordoba excused herself, muttering something that none of the rest understood.

At the library, Twilight showed them the couch. It was just as shabby and run down as they all remembered. However, Twilight pointed at something new.

On the back, screwed delicately to the frame, was a small brass plate engraved with Plymouth Valiant Memorial Couch.

The rest of them burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Twilight grumped.

“It’s just so fitting,” Rainbow chuckled. “Not only was it lying on it comatose like a sack of potatoes arguably his favorite place in the world, who wants a stupid couch to remember them by?”

“And I can see you’re so angry about it,” Applejack guffawed. “But you’re also so afraid of what might happen if you take it off. You know it’ll probably have a booby trap or somethin.’”

“It’s so elegantly done, stuck on a broken, shoddy couch,” tittered Rarity. “One last final petty insult. At that point, it’s so futile that you can’t help but laugh. There’s probably another joke hiding on the back.”

“It’s pretty funny,” agreed Pinkie.

Twilight let out an extended sigh. “So you don’t think I can get rid of it?”

“If you try, let me know so that I can be very far away,” said Fluttershy.

“Well, at least it doesn’t say Valiant did nothing wrong,” Twilight muttered.

In fact, that phrase was carved in strategic locations around the library that Twilight would periodically discover over the coming years.

“Well, moving on,” said Twilight, eager to talk about something else, “Shining and Cadance said they wanted to see us all. Who’s up for a trip to Silent Hill?”

Comments

[paladinwolf]

come4news.com/images/users/6390/silent_hill_sign_46145_screen.jpg

[Sigmacipher]

Silent Hill? Oh crap...Konami can't help you and they made the game.

[Sidetrack]

“Twat stopped. Boxed Out. Vajected Clam jammed. Otherwise, I would have been all like, come on and clam and welcome to the jam!”

No, no, no... Cunt stunted is the correct phrasing.

[General Grant]

Why do I feel like whenever they get around to burying Valiant Bible and Cordoba will find them a cave with a big rock for a door to put him in?

[Ultimate Bromaeda]

When I die, I'm gonna have a memorial T.V., the memorial plate will be right in the middle of the screen, and it will explode if you try to throw it out.

[metallusionsismagic]

Come on and chill

And welcome to the Hill

As chapter names go, this is one of the best.

[djthomp]

Plymouth Valiant Memorial Couch

I like it.

[Izarra Kiania]

“Cock blocked?” Rainbow said, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, you know, the female equivalent,” said Pinkie.

I would like to humbly suggest the perfect female equivalent term... TACO BLOCKO.

[Emerald Blazer]

7049280 I asked that a year ago!

[Corren]

Silent Hill!? This has the potentail to go very badly.