5516747 It's not really meant to be dark. It's just an unfortunate side effect of having sex with a goddess for the first time. There's only so much the mortal mind can handle.
5516956 I meant more so about the whole child plight. Granted the scene with he goddess was terrifiyngly wonderful. And I have absolutly no idea what to expect for the next chapter.
Umm... This took a weird turn for me that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. I'm so lost it's not funny so I think I'll stop with this chapter... No offense to you, just when a curveball like "All the white mares are mine" when we can see fathers/mothers of some of these characters In the show or comics, just confuses me to no end and leaves me with a headache... Is it a bad story? Hell no! It's excellent! Just it's at a point where I dunno if I can continue. My brain is overloaded now... But here's to future success for ya. Have fun.
I dont get it. He sold his soul to a nymphomanic goddess. Now he is her inseminator. At the same time he is marrying other mare, her niece nevertheless...
That reference, wow just wow, Shining done goofed big time. Never thought any one would compare Celestia to ..... well "HER"! Was a good chapter though, can't wait for the update and thank you for entertaining me.
when we can see fathers/mothers of some of these characters In the show or comics
Rarity and Sweetie Belle are adopted in this fiction. I got the primary idea from a canon scene. i.imgur.com/415Is8R.jpg Here we see a here-to-unidentified foal at the very beginning of episode 39: Baby Cakes. Just four episodes after 35: Sweet and Elite. My question was where did this foal, who looks an awful lot like Rarity, come from?
5519576 I leave it for you to decide. See, I've seem stories, including '27 Ounces', by 'that writer that shall not be named on this site' that earned the 'gore' tag for a single scene. Some would even say that Alabastards would deserve the Dark tag.
Hey, that is not a bad thing. Some would say that it's good given how some argue that the show is murdering characters like Celestia herself and the consistency has gone to Tartarus.
5520746 So wait, if Velvet is Celestia's daughter then Shining and Twilight would be adopted... Celestia said that every white mare is her daughter, does the same apply to stallions? Is Shining banging his own mother!? Wouldn't that make Fancy Pants his father? But he's white too... Is Fancy Pants Celestia's son as well? Did Fancy Pants set his own son up with his sisters? What the fuck is going on here!?
Interesting back story for Celestia. It never seems to be explained why she keeps popping out foals themselves will be barren, and giving them up for adoption. Does birth control not work on alicorns? Does Celestia have a pregnancy fetish?
Also, if Shining Armor can break Celestia's curse, can he also break Luna's?
5521066 This is primarily why I'm not gonna read any farther. It's got too many unanswered questions for me, and overall I want to enjoy a story and not get confused by it...
Why do some readers become upset when when my writing defies their expectations? "Oh noes, you got actual story arc in my clop!" Do people actually want me to write something utterly predictable? Because I can. But isn't the entire point of creative writing to try to do something... creative? It's the mystery that endures. Not the answers. People have a natural curiosity for things that they don't understand. Or about what they don't yet know, with the prospect of one day doing so. That being said, there really needs to be a Mystery tag. I write stories that I, myself, would like to read. If it already existed, I wouldn't bother. So I can't help but be ground breaking. Besides, ask anyone who drives long distances for a living.
5523959 I'll say that the problem is not twisting and bending the road. Not even hiding answers. SPECIALLY when the story is not over yet. Me, I love story in my clop and it's damn hard to find good ones.
My problem is that (with a grain of salt because the story is not over yet) I can't understand... Celestia's motivations. It would be better to say that I'm not convinced that Celestia loves Shining Armor, or will ever love him. To be honest, If I was Shining Armor, I'd walk out the palace's doors and tell this story to every white mare and newspaper I could find. Then I'd probably cut out my balls and send them to her in a silver plate. Specially after his transcendental sex experience with a goddess turned into nightmare fuel.
Because unless I'm getting the wrong vibe here, this is what the queen bitch deserves. I was expecting a different kind of story because of "romance" and "comedy". And I'm not even saying that I think that this makes the story bad. Stories are supposed to make you feel. Something. And I sure am feeling.
EDIT: This whole chapter has a tone that is very different from the rest of story. Shit gets serious. It's like when slapstick humor turns into actual violence. I can't take the sex scene with the same mentality I took Fleur's shenanigans because of the whole environment this chapter happened.
EDIT: You're right when you say that a writer should write stories that he would like to see written. See, I have an iPad, and in this iPad, I have a reading list. In this reading list I have all the fics that I love. From 'Fallout: Equestria' to 'Around the Bend' to the silliest Mass Effect crossover you can imagine and my own crap. And the only reason this story is not in that list is because I'm hating Celestia here. You are doing everything perfectly fine for me. Overwhelmingly powerful Celestia? Check. Shining Armor doing Celestia? Check. Luna around? Check. And all the other stuff I wasn't expecting. And if you fix this (or my perception of it... I can be mistaken) I'll start on the paperwork to make you my personal fanfic god. I think I covered all I wanted.
And get on with uploading the next chapter dammit!
5527030 Thank you. See? THIS is how you constructively criticize. I understand how the reader feels, and why. They have, in no uncertain terms, specifically cited what they had issue with. While at the same time expressing that they want this story to be as good as it possibly can be. They offered helpful suggestions, (because complaining without doing so, is just whining). I can work with this.
5527030 To answer you more directly, I've always had problems with the tag system. I just mean me personally. I absolutely believe the tag system should exist and this site is absolutely better for it. But in case some of my new Followers haven't noticed yet, a lot of my stories tend to be a mixed bag. Liquid Pride is another notorious example. And while Colt Icarus was a darker chapter for Alabastards, particularly in the last scenes, it shouldn't drive the theme of the entire story. Conversely, slapping a Dark tag on this story would make the chapters previous to this one seem equally out of place. Even in comedy movies like Dumb and Dumber, or the Hangover, there is an underlying dark element of the ransom and the hostage situations respectively. Conflict creates drama. And the drama drives the narrative. Even in comedies. One dark scene does not a dark fic make.
TL;DR The tone of the last chapter will be more in line with the rest of the story.
5528137 Random thought from the tagging portion of the conversation. What if there were chapter-level tagging? That way you see the list of chapters, and in each row was title - date - tag(s) - word count. Or just mouse over a chapter for tag maybe.
Possibly have global tags for the overarching story, but have some small chapter tags for those little twists and turns that come in mixed bag stories.
Sorry if I rambled a bit there, or if it was out of place.
5529468 In a perfect world perhaps. But it would be difficult to implement. I'm actually going to rework this chapter a little to make it more clear about Celestia's feelings/ intentions, so that it comes across as less 'dark'.
Makes perfect sense to me.
Always good to find another fan of The Dresden Files. Good chapter.
Welp, this got dark. That being said, it is understandably dark, so good on you author.
5516747 It's not really meant to be dark. It's just an unfortunate side effect of having sex with a goddess for the first time. There's only so much the mortal mind can handle.
5516956
I meant more so about the whole child plight. Granted the scene with he goddess was terrifiyngly wonderful. And I have absolutly no idea what to expect for the next chapter.
I deleted the earlier comment because I really let my personal preferences get in the way. I'll just stay here and wait for next chapter.
Would be nice, if.... Oh gads, I think if we had Celestia...
Nah. Anyway, congrats to Shining.
5517327 img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140220043745/mlp/images/2/2a/FANMADE_mlp_wat.jpg
Heh, looks like someone's been reading the Dresden Files. My respect for you only continues to grow, Shakespearicles. ^_^
Huh, so basically Shining had sex with mot only Celestia, but all of her daughters too... If that isn't an achievement, I don't know what is.
5517376 Yes.
5518239 I don't know whether to be mad or proud.
5517376
Nothing, just a story idea I may have.
5518354
i.imgur.com/vYM3E50.jpg
5518394
Well then, I shall keep that story idea and see when I can get around it.
Umm... This took a weird turn for me that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. I'm so lost it's not funny so I think I'll stop with this chapter... No offense to you, just when a curveball like "All the white mares are mine" when we can see fathers/mothers of some of these characters In the show or comics, just confuses me to no end and leaves me with a headache... Is it a bad story? Hell no! It's excellent! Just it's at a point where I dunno if I can continue. My brain is overloaded now... But here's to future success for ya. Have fun.
I dont get it.
He sold his soul to a nymphomanic goddess. Now he is her inseminator. At the same time he is marrying other mare, her niece nevertheless...
I...err.....I...Mmm...I...I don't know what to feel anymore....
(Hope that Shining Armor isn't Celestia's son too...if it true....It's time for wincest...Brother-Sis, Mother-son, Uncle-Niece) =A="
That reference, wow just wow, Shining done goofed big time. Never thought any one would compare Celestia to ..... well "HER"! Was a good chapter though, can't wait for the update and thank you for entertaining me.
5518708
Rarity and Sweetie Belle are adopted in this fiction. I got the primary idea from a canon scene.
i.imgur.com/415Is8R.jpg
Here we see a here-to-unidentified foal at the very beginning of episode 39: Baby Cakes. Just four episodes after 35: Sweet and Elite. My question was where did this foal, who looks an awful lot like Rarity, come from?
5518721 Let me make a few things clear. She is NOT a nymphomaniac.
He did not sell his soul. And his marriage to her 'niece' will be fully explained in the last chapter.
Just something that occurred to me...
I think this fic deserves a "alternate universe" tag.
5519553 Aww, but it meshes so seamlessly with canon! Do you really think so?
Amazing! Can't wait for the finale!
>Glamour
So did you play Wolf Among Us, or did you read the comics?
5519057
With Shakespearicles that's a likely scenario. Tho I don't think so in this case.
On the other hand, that might explain why he's the only one who can sire heirs with them.
5519576
I leave it for you to decide. See, I've seem stories, including '27 Ounces', by 'that writer that shall not be named on this site' that earned the 'gore' tag for a single scene. Some would even say that Alabastards would deserve the Dark tag.
Hey, that is not a bad thing. Some would say that it's good given how some argue that the show is murdering characters like Celestia herself and the consistency has gone to Tartarus.
5519625 Yes.
5519682 Consider it considered.
But isn't Shining's mother white?
5520243 Hmm. Interesting, that.
I wonder if that's significant...
5520746
So wait, if Velvet is Celestia's daughter then Shining and Twilight would be adopted... Celestia said that every white mare is her daughter, does the same apply to stallions? Is Shining banging his own mother!? Wouldn't that make Fancy Pants his father? But he's white too... Is Fancy Pants Celestia's son as well? Did Fancy Pants set his own son up with his sisters? What the fuck is going on here!?
I love it.
5521066
Interesting back story for Celestia. It never seems to be explained why she keeps popping out foals themselves will be barren, and giving them up for adoption. Does birth control not work on alicorns? Does Celestia have a pregnancy fetish?
Also, if Shining Armor can break Celestia's curse, can he also break Luna's?
5519635
And than, Twilight will sing this song. =w=
i.imgur.com/5CIpFOE.jpg
5521066
This is primarily why I'm not gonna read any farther. It's got too many unanswered questions for me, and overall I want to enjoy a story and not get confused by it...
Why do some readers become upset when when my writing defies their expectations?
"Oh noes, you got actual story arc in my clop!"
Do people actually want me to write something utterly predictable? Because I can.
But isn't the entire point of creative writing to try to do something... creative?
It's the mystery that endures. Not the answers. People have a natural curiosity for things that they don't understand. Or about what they don't yet know, with the prospect of one day doing so.
That being said, there really needs to be a Mystery tag.
I write stories that I, myself, would like to read. If it already existed, I wouldn't bother. So I can't help but be ground breaking. Besides, ask anyone who drives long distances for a living.
"Roads without twists, are boring."
PLOT TWIST!!! I love it
5523959 I'll say that the problem is not twisting and bending the road. Not even hiding answers. SPECIALLY when the story is not over yet. Me, I love story in my clop and it's damn hard to find good ones.
My problem is that (with a grain of salt because the story is not over yet)
I can't understand...Celestia's motivations. It would be better to say that I'm not convinced that Celestia loves Shining Armor, or will ever love him. To be honest, If I was Shining Armor, I'd walk out the palace's doors and tell this story to every white mare and newspaper I could find. Then I'd probably cut out my balls and send them to her in a silver plate. Specially after his transcendental sex experience with a goddess turned into nightmare fuel.Because unless I'm getting the wrong vibe here, this is what the queen bitch deserves. I was expecting a different kind of story because of "romance" and "comedy". And I'm not even saying that I think that this makes the story bad. Stories are supposed to make you feel. Something. And I sure am feeling.
EDIT: This whole chapter has a tone that is very different from the rest of story. Shit gets serious. It's like when slapstick humor turns into actual violence. I can't take the sex scene with the same mentality I took Fleur's shenanigans because of the whole environment this chapter happened.
EDIT: You're right when you say that a writer should write stories that he would like to see written. See, I have an iPad, and in this iPad, I have a reading list. In this reading list I have all the fics that I love. From 'Fallout: Equestria' to 'Around the Bend' to the silliest Mass Effect crossover you can imagine and my own crap. And the only reason this story is not in that list is because I'm hating Celestia here. You are doing everything perfectly fine for me. Overwhelmingly powerful Celestia? Check. Shining Armor doing Celestia? Check. Luna around? Check. And all the other stuff I wasn't expecting. And if you fix this (or my perception of it... I can be mistaken) I'll start on the paperwork to make you my personal fanfic god. I think I covered all I wanted.
And get on with uploading the next chapter dammit!
OH SHIT
I completely forgot about Cadence
Also write, this was a pretty powerful chapter, things got real interesting!
Hard to believe it's almost over! Kudos
5527793 5526250 All the loose ends will be addressed/ resolved in the final chapter.
5527030 Thank you.
See? THIS is how you constructively criticize. I understand how the reader feels, and why.
They have, in no uncertain terms, specifically cited what they had issue with. While at the same time expressing that they want this story to be as good as it possibly can be. They offered helpful suggestions, (because complaining without doing so, is just whining). I can work with this.
And I intend to.
Thank you, again.
5527030 To answer you more directly, I've always had problems with the tag system. I just mean me personally. I absolutely believe the tag system should exist and this site is absolutely better for it.
But in case some of my new Followers haven't noticed yet, a lot of my stories tend to be a mixed bag. Liquid Pride is another notorious example. And while Colt Icarus was a darker chapter for Alabastards, particularly in the last scenes, it shouldn't drive the theme of the entire story. Conversely, slapping a Dark tag on this story would make the chapters previous to this one seem equally out of place.
Even in comedy movies like Dumb and Dumber, or the Hangover, there is an underlying dark element of the ransom and the hostage situations respectively. Conflict creates drama. And the drama drives the narrative. Even in comedies. One dark scene does not a dark fic make.
TL;DR The tone of the last chapter will be more in line with the rest of the story.
5528137
Random thought from the tagging portion of the conversation. What if there were chapter-level tagging? That way you see the list of chapters, and in each row was title - date - tag(s) - word count. Or just mouse over a chapter for tag maybe.
Possibly have global tags for the overarching story, but have some small chapter tags for those little twists and turns that come in mixed bag stories.
Sorry if I rambled a bit there, or if it was out of place.
5529468 In a perfect world perhaps. But it would be difficult to implement.
I'm actually going to rework this chapter a little to make it more clear about Celestia's feelings/ intentions, so that it comes across as less 'dark'.
5530703
Well one can dream I suppose. Also good luck with that.
Edits to Colt Icarus complete.
This lucky bastard probably feels something like this right now...
someone has probably posted this already, but I'll do it anyway.
5545311 Yes, they have. But thank you for playing.