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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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A couple of things with this chapter, first was how you described apple trees. You do know that generally apples trees are not all that big right? They tend to be very slim and have lots of apples naturally? They actually are bigger in the show than they actually are in real life. Trust me do a google image search and you'll see what I mean. Also you messed up on spelling Apple Bloom's name, it's two words not one like how you wrote it as 'applebloom' you wouldn't like someone misspelling your name in real life right?
I also don't get why Twilight thinks he was trying to harm anyone, she's usually the more calm and rational one in the group so to me that felt really odd for her character.
6701237 Well thanks for the comment, and the information you gave me. Oh, and about Twilight's behavior. People are usually scared by what they don't understand. It won't help his reputation when you see what happens in the next couple of chapters.
Will this human have a spine or will he be a little bitch that doesn't stand up for himself? I wonder what will happen to him though. Quite a few times I've read HiE stories were a non-violent human is met with unjustified violence and aggression from ponies, and the ponies have the nerve to accuse the non-violent human of being dangerous.
I agree with Agent-G in regards to Twilight's behaviour, she probably doesn't realise the repercussions on how her slanderous and inaccurate accusation will have on our Human character.
6701246 Yeah I can get that it's just with Zecora she was the only one not scared of her and with the dragons she was calm and had a plan to deal with it and a few other things I could might have brought up if I thought about it. It's just a little jarring to me as I could see Rainbow more in that role. I can see them being nervous about him but I can also see Twilight trying to talk to him first to at least get an idea of what she's dealing with.
Why not? That doesn't sound right.
Keep it coming. If I can't play Fallout you can't either!!
6702395 He just kept running. And it wasn't Diamond Tiara who yelled at him, that was Twilight.
6702840 Remember this is Diamond Tiara we're talking about. She always exaggerates everything.
6736769 It does set the tone of the story, and that was sorta the point.
6701524 Trust me it's coming soon, I just finished writing the next chapter, just have to do some editing, rephrasing, and compact it. I'd say maybe, hopefully, it'll be released next week.
6740295 ooookkkkkaaay
more
So far, decent setup. Protagonist is a semi educated adult. Though traumatized, doesn't seem like a spineless puke. No instant friendship with alien, to him at least, equinoid lifeforms. Questionable decision making, but he is traumatized, sleep deprived, malnourished, and for all we know sick without knowing it.
I will keep watching this story with baited breath.
6744373 Thank you for the kind words.
P.S. I feel like I've seen you before...
I'm just seeing a turnaround right now man, pick a direction and go with it.
6747284 Trust me, I already did.
6747854 I hope so.
6748144 The greatest hiding spot in the world is usually in plain sight.
6748179 Oh yeah I've heard that saying before, you have to be extra skilled to pull off something like that even with it sounding so simple.
6748954 I'm trying my best, and I'm hoping that I'll be able to implant a small seed in your mind without you even realizing it. But this is my first fanfiction, and I am shocked that this story is getting as much attention as it is. But still, thanks for the comments and for your point of view on the story.
6749023 Well that's true. Yeah you never know you could do well beyond what you thought would happen, my first was an epic fail but I think I might try again.
6749023
Whether its your first story or not you've told a story that has a premise (albeit a short one) and that is something truly needed to capture one's attention.
You may proceed.
Wow. No wonder they are against him. I also can believe that they would believe them. Zecora's reputation wasn't stellar as well, but at least she wasn't hunted.
6844571 OR MAYBE THE TWO LITTLE FUCKS EXAGERATTED JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT!!! ALL BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T LIKE HIM!!!!
6907483
Exaggeration? Probably. Dislike? Unlikely.
They don't know him, so they can't technically dislike him. They don't even know that he can talk and they see him as an animal at best, so scared would fit better.
You switch between 'they' and 'it' when referring to the trees.
I think you mean 'at peace'. Furthermore why did he decide to steal what obviously belonged to somebody else? And why in the world did Twilight assume he was trying to KILL D.T.? He did absolutely NOTHING aggressive. I'm close to abandoning this right now.
Well, ain't this a bitch. Not surprisingly that DT and Silver Spoon would put this shit. Exaggerating their story and making every pony think our main character was dangerous. Which is not the case. Nothing is worse than going through utter hell because someone's and misunderstandings.
And of course Twilight Sparkle would take everything out of proportions. Without using logic and reasoning. She may be a smart pony, but she can be rather dense at times.