The Few
Well, here I am, flying over the forest, currently being held by Spitfire...the Womderbolts number one flier. Yup, just another day for me. Her grip on me never loosened, but none the less, I didnt loosen my grip onto her either. She flew with me in her grasp until we reached a clearing in the forest, she than lowered us until we were three feet to the ground. Needless to say I jumped right the fuck off that ride.
I landed and spun on my heel to face my would be foe. I held up my fists ready to fight.
"No need to worry, I wont try to hurt you." Spitfire said to me as she looked around our surroundings. "She said sje would be here." She tried to say to herself, but I overheard her.
"Who?" I half shouted and asked Spitfire. She looked at me and sighed.
"Let me explain everything I can while we wait." I cocked my head to her.
"Erm..okay?" I was of course confused, who was she waiting on? Did it need me or was I just some accident that happened to tag along with her...well tag along is the wrong word in this situation considering she dragged me here.
"Okay first, don't get mad."
"I promise." Why would she care?
"This was all staged."
"WHAT?!" I shouted, causing birds to fly from the treetops that surrounded the clearing.
"You promised you wouldn't be mad."
"I lied!" I angrily said to her.
"Let me explain!" She said, rushed and afraid.
"I'm waiting." I tapped my foot on the grass to emphasize my impatience.
"Okay...okay.." She took a deep breath to calm herself. "The fact that you woke up was staged, the fights was sort of staged, and is being here was planned."
"You haven't explained anything."
"Oh... the person coming said she would be here, but the person knows you, and helped out with you waking up. The hospital that had you kept you in sleep by putting you in some sort of drug induced coma." I nodded as she talked. "She slowly started to lower the amount of drugs the doctor's put in you, that's why you woke up the first time." How did she know all of this?...unless this was actually all planned.
"When you woke up and freaked out, they moved your bed to a more sound place, something about scaring the other patients."
I interrupted her. "So that yellow girl was a part of the act to?"
"Who?" I sighed. Of course that yellow girl looked at me as if I was some sort of animal..or pet.
"Never mind..continue." I told Spitfire. She nodded.
"Anyway, after you were moved this made it a little harder for us to sneak the girl in." Us? Just how many people were helping? "It slowed us down, but eventually we got her in...after she did her thing she informed me that she was done. I than took my team flying around, just for a little public appearance."
"Which is why you were on the scene of my escape so fast huh?" I asked Spitfire. She nodded.
"Come on, we all know the authorities get to the scene when it's to late anyways." I laughed a bit when she made the simple joke. Where I came from, police would get at the scene after everybody died, and whenever they actually got there in time, some innocent person would get killed for being curious...police brutality was a pretty serious thing back home.
"The fight was planned, but the outcome...well improve got us to where we are now." She said half jokingly.
"Basically, you didn't plan on me kicking all your friends asses?" She nodded ashamed. I smiled, it feels good to be cocky again.
"So here we are just waiting."
"For who though?"
"She told me not to tell you."
"Can I ask you a question?"
"You just did." Spitfire said.....wow I can't believe I did that. Just like...nope not gonna think about it.
"Shut up." Spitfire grinned. "Why did you agree to help this mystery person?"
"The way she described you, it was unique..I had to see this for myself. When I saw you fight, she was right. You spared my friends when they tried to kill you...it's my turn to ask you a question...why?" Spitfire spoke of me as if I were a god, or saint. Something of greater power.
"Why what?" I asked her.
"Why did you spare them? When you believed they were going to kill you, why would you spare them?"
I shrugged her question off.
"You can't just not know!" Ew double negative, those always confuse me.
I shrugged again and she let out a frustrated grunt. "Sorry."
"Forget it." I could tell she wasn't going to forget it.
"Hey Spitfire, um...what do you see when you look at me?" I literally have no clue why I just asked her that. My lips just...moved my brain didn't process the words before they came out. It. Just. Happened.
"I see different." She simply said, it wasn't sarcastic, her voice was filled with respect. I decided not to question her any further.
I heard ruffling from the trees that surrounded us. Spitfire visibly tensed up. Than a bird call was heard. She loosened up. "Looks like she's here."
Time to see who the hell was helping me out. Just who was this masked figure that helped me escape the horrible confines of the palace.
A hooded figure walked out of the tree line, her cloak hugged her body closely. Her hips were wide, her breasts were large, and some strands of purple hair hung from her hood. She approached us.
Just who was this woman?
She lifted her beige colored hands to her hood.
Who is my savior? Who came back from my past to help me?
She removed her hood. Revealing a beige colored face, purple hair with a pink stripe running through it. The realization struck me. I had no clue on who the hell this anthro was.
"Who the fuck are you?" Seriously, who the fuck is this. Spitfire said it would be someone from my past, but I had no idea who this person is. "Have I even met you before?" I mean seriously.
"I'm Bon-Bon." She simply said. Yeah that explained everything.
"Now I know everything." I said sarcastically. "I mean, how the fuck do I know you?"
"You don't." Bon-Bon said.
"But Spitfire sai-"
"I was wrong, calm down, something must have happened to the leader." I calmed down a bit as Spitfire spoke. "They must have sent a replacement."
The beige colored anthro spoke up. "I am the second in command of the group."
"Explain this group." I demanded her.
"We are the few that want to help you, truly help you." She added the last bit to emphasize herself.
"I have heard that before, tell me why should I trust you?"
"We just went against the strongest force in out entire planet for you." Bon-Bon said.
"Good enough for me." She flinched at my words.
"What?" Spitfire and Bon-Bon said in unison.
"Don't worry about it."
They looked at each other before shrugging.
"I'm here to lead you to our leader."
"Okay, but first, this has been bothering me for a while."
"What?"
"Just how long was I out?" I wasn't joking, this has bothered me for a while. If there was a group of anthros trying to help me, going agaisnt the strongest power in the world, and succeeded. Just how long did it take them to plan all of this?
"For about six months." Spitfire said.
"Okay." I simply said. Not a single hint of any emotion in my voice.
"Okay?" Bon-Bon said.
"How are you okay with this?" Spitfire said.
"Oh trust me I'm not okay with it." I gave her my signature grin. "I just wanted to know how long I have to make Celestia pay for." I am going to make that uptight bitch pay. She will pay for making me run, making me fight and hide. And fuck will she pay for wasting another six months of my life.
. . .
We headed out for wherever they were taking me. We walked for hours, through that hellish forest. As we broke past the tree line and out onto a dirt road, I looked back at the forest.
"I fucking hope to never see that damn forest again." I said. Bon-Bon and Spitfire nodded their heads.
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>>Finally!
4197246 sorry, told ya no chapters on weekends.
This chapter was awesome, Bon-bon? I have an idea of who the one in command might be, but maybe I'm wrong?!?!
Anyways, awesome as always man, keep it up
4197969 thanks, always good to have a positive review.
4198059
And now for a negative review....
Ok. Anthro. Cool, cool, fair, fair.... not my cup of tea usually but makes the "violent" character work in this case.
What is not as cool. You are moving way too fast in between characters and scenes. They are merely there. Not really acting as a part of the story but as a part of the back ground.
Another negative thing would be (again both a cause and symptom of the pace of the story.) that you are "telling" the story. It is not from the characters perspective. The tenses are a quick blow by blow. No descriptions. Little exposition (You do have some... but it is only on the side of the protagonist and not enough.) and the dialogue is mostly too direct.
That works for action scenes and introductions. But if your whole story is an action scene what story are you telling? (NO! Dragonball Z works only once in a life time...)
Not trying to stop you and be a jerk. But I am a jerk. Seriously I put that on my paperwork when I can for race, religion, creed or as a hobby.... One day I hope others will join me and we can truly have a nation of equality... Because we will all be jerks.... and therefore fair.
OH! Grammar was allright. A few verbs in the wrong tense. Mostly the verb "to be". No real misuse of homonyms... which is extremely refreshing. Otherwise not bad.
4199262 ya know what, i'm okay with your negative review, it helps me know what Inneed to work on, also it's a bit rushed die to me having to complete it at a certain time. So thanks.
The dialogue is very wooden, you might wanna do something about that. I feel like I'm just reading a script, no emotion, no pull.
Show some emotion, it really does help suck the readers in!
4201974 I'll try os all I can say
Internet is acting up, I dont trust it...sooo...there might be a chapter later on today...
This guy just accepts everything too quickly, jeez
Oooooooo
...Right... That's enough. This is decent, but not enough to keep reading past this point. Best of luck from here on out.
In reply to the A/N: Yes. A great many times, actually.
4349684 yay, I'm not the only one!
one time, I sliiped on a freshly waxed kitchen floor, complete Charlie Brown style. So I know exactly how you feel