As I stepped onto the pavement road I took in my surrounding. Manehatten was a city, not a town like most of the places. I've been, Manehatten is a full blow metropolis. I could see busy anthros everywhere, all looking at their watches or looking both ways before crossing the street. I noticed how they never once looked at me. Were they truly that busy?
"So Bon-Bon where exactly are we going?" Spitfire asked.
"To the city's chruch?"
"You're fucking kidding me?" I said to Bon-Bon. Seriously, the church? Where they worship Celestia? I remember this one little town, the center of everything revolved around that church, it was the only building that rose above twelve feet. Ugh.
"Think about this way, where is the last place anyone will think to look if were going against the princess herself?" Bon-Bon stated as matter of fact like.
"Oh." It was kind of genius, but. "How are you going to get past the church people, I'm pretty damn sure if they knew we were plotting a rebellion against their god, they would do something, right?"
"Right, if there was any church people, this is a big city, with busy people, no one has time to go to the church, it's practically abandoned." Bon-Bon said.
"Ah, so basically people lost faith in their god?"
"Nope." Spitfire said this time. She had her eyes set on a statue, a statue that was engraved into a side of some random building. The statue itself was of Celestia, she stood tall, her smile kind and warming, her dress loosely hung onto her.
I frowned as I noticed a small crowd all bowing to the statue, their eyes close mouths moving and their hands pressed together.
"I said they didn't have time to go to the church, but they still have time to pray at their local statue." Bon-Bon said.
"A local statue." I deadpanned.
"Yup." Bon-Bon said as we turned a corner, the statue leaving my sight.
"How many of those are just laying around?" I asked.
"Oh...there's about one every." Bon-Bon took a minute to think. "Street." She said as she looked foreword.
And sure enough, there was a statue of Celestia, the same as the other one. "This is ridiculous!" I stated.
"Yeah, how much money do you think it cost them?" Spitfire asked.
"No clue." We made another turn, but there wasn't a statue on this street.
"Why isn't there a statue on this street?" I asked.
"Wait for it." I followed her, I noticed the building started to disperse, all of the tall skyscrapers that surrounded us seemed to become less numerous as we made our way down this...long street. I felt the ground texture change under my boot.
I looked down, cobblestone. It went from pavement to cobblestone just like it did with the dirt road. I felt a shiver run down my spine. I noticed the skyscrapers stopped at the cobblestone, none dared to venture foreword.
As I looked around I noticed a building, square at the base, rose up further into a pyramid like shape. Engraved into the entrance was the statue of Celestia. It was the biggest one so far. It was a bit different this time though, instead of her hands pressed against her hips like the others, this one has Celestia's right arm held out, in her hand was bell. In her left hand she held out scale. The kind that balanced gold for the weight of other items.
"Welcome to the church of Celestia." Of course, so was that bell suppose to be the church bell? How did it work?
As if on que, a man exited the entrance and walked underneath the bell. As we drew near I could see a rope dangled from the bell. The man pulled the rope. The ring of the bell resonated throughout my body.
I rubbed my ears trying to get the ringing out. Bon-Bon didn't seem to be phased, I looked over at Spitfire, she was clutching the sided of her head, her hands over her ears. The dick that rang the bell went back into the church.
"I thought that it was abandoned?" I spat, the sound returning to my ears.
"I said practically, besides that was one of our group."
"Why did he have to ring the bell?" Spitfire asked.
"If the bell isn't rang once a day bad luck will be brought to the city for a month." Bon-Bon said. I burst out into laughter. "Yeah laugh it up, but it's kind of true."
"Equestria logic may not be the same as Earth's but I'm pretty sure that if you didn't ring that bell." I pointed to the giant as bell. "That bell right there, I'm pretty fucking sure nothing will happen."
"The city doesn't wanna take that chance, last time we didn't ring it, our town was plunged into darkness." Bon-Bon said. Wait..we? So this is where Bonny is from?
We walked up the stairs, Bon-Bon knocked on the door, one, two, three, pause. Four. The door opened up, a hooded figure stood in the doorway.
He spoke. "Bon-Bon, heyy took you long enough." He moved out of the way and let us in.
. . .
Marble floor, wooden benches and not the cheap ones, these looked as if they went through a thousand years of sitting in a closet just gathering dust. There was an alter and a shrine, all underneath the same statue of Celestia herself.
I'm seriously getting sick of her vanity, Bon-Bon grabbed my arm and pulled me into a room, Spitfire soon followed. The room was just an empty room with a bookcase inside it.
"Uhm, why are we in a closet with a bunch of books?" I asked.
Bon-Bon pulled a book, nothing special about the book at all, but the spine read 'Celestia's History'. The bookshelf opened inwards on itself. Of course, every secret place needs a secret bookshelf. How cliche.
We walked down into the room that hid behind the bookshelf. A feminine figure alone, she was messing with a map setting figures onto it. Sorta reminded me of a war plan. Her mint green hands pushed over several figures across the map.
Mint. Green.
"Lyra?" I said. The figure flinched but didn't turn.
"A-Alex?" She asked. Her voice remained the same. A bit scratchy but overall the same voice that I knew.
"Who else would it be?" I joked, using my sarcastic tone hoping it would release the tension that clouded the room. She lowered head.
"I'm sorr-" I didn't let her finish.
"Shut up and give me a hug." I grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. I grasped both her shoulders and looked into her hood, her face shrouded by the shade that her hood provided.
"B-but." I pulled her close and squeezed her lightly into a hug. Lyra's arms slowly lifted up and snaked themselves around me. I smiled as I felt her accept my embrace.
We held each other until I heard a purposeful cough come from Spitfire.
I let go of Lyra, as I pulled away she removed her hood. I could see her bright golden eyes, her smooth fur, and the trademark smile she loved to use. Admittedly it was a bit goofy, but goofy was alright.
"So Ly-Ly what's the plan?" I asked, my tone playful.
"Were going to wait for the big game to arrive here, right now were just waiting....so the plan for today os to catch up with each other." Lyra said.
"What do you mean by bigger game?"
"Our little organization couldn't get this far by itself, we had some help from great..great power, we even have some power in the palace itself." Lyra said.
'Wait. If there was an ally within the palace...was that Luna? Was the dream girl going to meet me in person?' I thought to myself, I wonder who else was a part of this great power.
"I wonder who they all are." Spitfire said.
"Looks like were on the same page Spitball." I smiled when my nickname took effect, Spitfire got flustered and turned away from me. "Well we can't exactly share our stories by standing here can we?" I asked.
Lyra looked at us all. "I have a place for us all to stay, so let's go check out our room and catch up a bit on the way."
"Wa-wa-wait a minute!" I said ecstatically. Everyone looked at me. "You got us all one room together?"
"Yeah, and?" Lyra asked. "Is there something wrong with that?"
I chuckled. "No, no I'm just having a case of deja vu." I looked over and tried to make eye contact with Spitfire or Bon-Bon, both of the, were looking away bashfully. I chuckled again before shaking my head. "Lead the way Lyra."
Lyra took us to a different section of the building, thankfully the halls leading us to the room had no Celestia related decorations. On the walk I told Lyra the short version of what has happened so far, I didn't mention the meet up with Luna, I also didn't tell her about the accident with the bandits, I also left out a few details of the night at the inn.
Lyra opened the doors and lead us into our mew bedrooms, thank the stars that there were absolutely nothing no decorations in the room, it was very similar to the inn. A little to similar. I grabbed a pillow and fluffed it.
"Good, actual feathers." I said out-loud.
"What's that suppose to mean?" Lyra asked.
Bon-Bon burst out into laughter and Spitfire huffed and made a pouty face.
"Just a little thing that happened in the past." Bon-Bon said after she stopped her giggle fit.
"Okay...then." Lyra said.
. . .
The rest of the day Lyra, Spitfire, Bon-Bon and I stayed inside our rooms and talked. Lyra told me how she let me get caught, how she reduced the drug intake I took in, even how she disabled the fire exit's alarm. I never even thought about that part during the time.
Lyra explained how she spread rumors throughout the palace, how she gained allies in the fight against Celestia, over all..everything she said made me feel very proud of her. Lyra would have never of stepped up and defied a god if it wasn't for me. Pride swelled up in me.
That night I fell asleep on the bed Lyra provided for me, I slept soundly, a peaceful dreamless rest.
.
.
.
It may not be tomorrow, but fuck I should have seen that this wasn't going to end up well, everything lasts only so long.
4232582 again? Well I guess if that's your opinion, usually I see stories with Celestia being misunderstood, or some stereotype where the human gets friendly with the mane six. I'm not going to reply to you negatively because like I said your opinion, but I do think my story is somewhat creative. And I don't think I have ever read Spitfire, Bon-Bon and Lyra woking together.
Wait. So Lyra did intentionally set him up to get caught way back in Ponyville? Has she been fighting against Celestia since the beginning then? How did that not come up before? Or did I just miss it?
4232638 it's rather elusive, but basically she had a change of heart after Alex let her follow him.
4232647
I did get that she had a change of heart, but I was under the impression that she was being sincere back in Ponyville. I didn't think she was intentionally leading him into a trap as part of a plan she came up with in a few days worth of travel.
Part of me understands why she would trick him. I'm sure he wouldn't have gone along with the plan willingly, after all. But it still seems like it was a very bad plan. There were so many ways it could have gone terribly wrong that she would have been completely outside of her control while she was planning. She didn't even have any other allies at the time.
Lyra, you are a fool. A cute, lovable, and so far incredibly lucky fool, but still a fool.
4232596
So you've NEVER heard of the conversion bureau? It's an entire subsection of the HiE genre populated almost exclusively of stories in which Celestia is a monstrous tyrant trying to force humans into being ponies. And there's dozens of stories for that subgenre alone.
4232890 as matter of fact, no. Now that I know of suck a thing I shall add the story into it's folder, after I join the group, thank you very much.
4232910
...WHYYYYY?!
4232925 why what?
4232952
Why do you WANT to join that group? It represents everything that's good about the show BASTARDIZED. Much in the same way making Celesia the villain just because you need a villain is a bastardization of her character.
How would you feel if I wrote a story involving your character and made him into a pedophile? Would you not be disgusted and angry with me for writing a story just like that? How do you think those of us who like the show feel when we see stories like this that treat the show's characters like Celestia like this?
4232964 not really, I'd either be flattered that you took your time to do something because of me, or I'd laugh at it's silliness.
Awesome chapter as always man :D
If you want to take more time to write chapters man then do it, do whatever you want, it's your fic after all :)
I'm curious to see what will happen to them, for some reason I imagined Alex as Leon running from the people at Manehattan that would be the ganados...I laughed so much xD
4233051 as always thanks man.
4232964 if people wrote stories that feature the characters acting as canon then they would be boring because there is no drama or action or suspense or anything that would make a good story saying that i actaully dont like the conversion fics not because of celestia being evil but because they just arent my thing although you can take a look at this and it might make you feel better
4232964 do you know what fanfiction means? Time for class then, it is the fiction of a fan, the fanfiction is what the author wants it to be, if he wants Celestia to be bad he CAN do it, it is fanfiction after all, so stop complaining and just read the fic or go home ._.
4233069
4233071
thanks for the defense guys but, it doesn't matter that much to me, like I said opinions.
4233071
You don't get it. When you do stories like this, you need to be respectful to the source material, otherwise characters come off wrong, or looking flat, or motivation is just plain nonsense. And this idea of Celestia as the villain is just so overdone in recent stories on the site. For once, I'd like to actually see her be in the right about a human genuinely being the real threat even if the human himself can't see it until he's ended up accidentally killing god knows how many and realizes "oh crap, maybe she had a point, look at what I've turned into".
4233069
....not really. I'm not a sadist who likes seeing people suffer just because the author arbitrarily needed to make a bad guy out of a good guy, rather than, you know, create an actual bad guy on their own, nah, why do THAT! That sounds haaaard. Let's just take a person well known for being good and make them scum! That's SO much easier!
4233155 why are you being so hostile? If you don't like it, why waste time talking about it.
This is the brony community, I joined fimfiction because I love the forums, most people are positive and helpful, why must you be so negative?
Also, no one will suffer here, so far you're the only person suffering due to the fact you're wasting your own time.
4233155 also, hey see that tag up there, ya know that tag that says, 'Alternate Universe.' Yep. Nuff said.
4233187
your guy committed straight up murder. Sever times over now. Did you forget what you yourself wrote? And this is supposed to not be a villain protagonist.
4233155 so you didnt like the story that was in that link? that was a conversion celestia getting judged by the multi verse and i thought it was cool
4233352
It's not that I hated it, it's just not anything that I haven't already seen done before. Just like the story here isn't something new to me. This kind of idea has been done so many times, it's not bringing anything new to the table. Having Celestia be made into the bad guy just because, that's when the story jumped the shark for me.
4233345 it's a story, so I won't defend it ahainst your crit.
Why are you changing the subject suddenly though
4233413
I've made my point several times over, that this sort of idea is just something that's been done so many times, and the story doesn't seem to be bringing anything new to the table.
It's not that I hate your story. I'm just incredibly disappointed. The minute you cast Celestia as a corrupt tyrant that needs to be brought down and was worshipped as a God, that's when the story jumped the shark for me.
4233440 sorry I guess?
*grabs some C4*
Did anyone need a statue blown up?
4233643 destroy all statues!
4233643 *grabs molotovs and dynamite* I can provide distraction and take out the guards.
4233655 murphy's law?
4233155
4233187 I agree. You're being a jerk.
14# hummmm
Have a downvote for rubbish grammar, shitty, cringe-inducing plot, and putting this in the wrong group.
4234957 wait what group, I dunno how to remove.
4234138
Lets do this. . .
4235134 *puts on shades* yeeeeaaah!
Really.
Shut up you. *plants a mine on a statues horn, then jumps down* I deserve my moments.Holy crap, guys! This gives me an idea for a new fanfic!
You're not thinking-
what I'm thinking, are you?
4235226
4234957 haters gonna hate. Nuff said.
4235231 dis gonna be good! Time for some inspiration overtime! See y'all on the flip side!
4234173
For pointing out a story's plot is incredibly lacking and has been done so many times before it just makes me wonder why I'm not reading those stories?
If you're going to do something that's been done before, like making Celestia the villain, you need to do something DIFFERENT with how it comes across. This isn't different. The execution had been done before several times over. It's just nothing new, and that's a shame, because this story, despite some grammar issues, had real potential. I was very invested in him, not understanding why people seemed to keep picking fights with him, it had an air of mystery. But then it jumped the rails when it introduced Celestia as the evil god of the land that needs to be beaten. It's been DONE. So many times.
But I guess people who can't recognize actual criticism from genuine flaming like "OMG your story f--king sucks, go kill yourself" are always "gonna hate".
4237163 simple solution. Don't read the story.
4237177
Wrong. Critique exists to try and point out the flaws of a work so the creator can improve the work. If nobody ever pointed out what was wrong with something, nothing would ever get done about it. Imagine a world where the only products you bought were ones with positive reviews because anybody who had anything negative to say was told to shut up. You'd end up buying something awful, because nobody was allowed to say anything bad about the thing you bought. You'd never know to avoid it.
4237194
4235235
So I wake up to see people still arguing.
Welp, apparently I just deleted a bunch of comments...sorry I goofed.
4237902 Errrmmmmmm TCB is a series of fictions where celestia got to earth to she and "save" humanity by forcing thim into a brain washed state of ponyhood with no freewill all the while the author (Not all but most) makes humanity look like a race of beast, killers, and rapeist.
4239093 I was a bit confused, yeah I know I messed up now..I also don't know how to remove things from folders.
4237902 oh so that's what happend and again have a safe trip -tank
4239649 thanks again xD.
4239681 no prob but please no delet plz I fan XD
4239173 Post a thread asking for it to be taken down.
1000 views!
The new chapter shall be out tomorrow. FYI