Chapter One: Duty
I’ll say this for Rainbow Dash: She has the biggest ego in Ponyville, and the fact that she can break up clouds faster than anyone else certainly doesn't hurt her ego. But the rest of us aren't as lucky. I flew down to a low-hanging cloud over Ponyville and stretch out on my back for a quick break. Whew.
Of course, since her biggest dream is to be one of the Wonderbolts, she spends a lot of her time practicing various aerial stunts so she can impress them enough to be offered a spot on the team. And, of course, her practicing tends to result in a variety of crashes. And, of course, from what I heard her latest attempt at what was described to me as "some sort of corkscrewing dive-bombing somersaulting thing" had the result of crashing into an innocent bystander, injuring her wing badly enough that there's no way she'll be busting clouds for the time being. And, of course, the innocent bystander was Raindrops, another pegasus on the weather team, who is also out of action as a result of the crash. So we're short two pegasi on the day before the Summer Sun Celebration, when Princess Celestia herself will be attending to raise the sun from Ponyville, and is sending her own personal student to oversee the preparations. Of course.
I do hope Rainbow's going to be okay. When I heard the news last night, I heard she also got a concussion from the crash, and with our history, a big blow to the head is the last thing she should be getting. And as much as she loves to fly and as much as she wants to be a Wonderbolt, a permanent injury to her wing would be the absolute worst. But I know not to worry: Rainbow Dash may be lots of things, like lazy, rash, and egotistical, but she's also resilient and determined. She'll bounce back from this crash and be doing something else foolish soon enough.
In the meantime, the work still needs to get done. While she's never made it official, I'm pretty much her second in command on the weather team. So, in Rainbow Dash's place, I know I need to help make sure the work's done. Making the boss look good makes me, and the team, look good. Since we needed clear skies for the Celebration, Rainbow's plan was to take care of Ponyville while the rest of us covered the outskirts of the town like Sweet Apple Acres, who still needed rain in the middle of summer. So I decided that instead of Rainbow covering Ponyville, Blossomforth and I would work to get the skies clear in town while the rest of the team would work to cover the outskirts of town. It would take longer, but it should get done in time.
But I'd been bucking clouds for hours and even cut lunch short to keep at it, and we still had hours more to go. The weather coming from the Everfree had been worse than normal, and the skies were still pretty thick with clouds. But I needed a break, and I stretched out on my little cloud and appreciated the pale blue sky of summer.
Until I heard a young male voice below me saying, "Hmm, there's supposed to be a pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds." followed by a female voice replying, "Well, she's not doing a very good job, is she?" I flipped over on my cloud to take a peek over the edge, and saw the speakers: A young unicorn mare that I didn't know, and... huh. That looked like a baby dragon. Now that's not something you see every day. I glided down to the ground, waving to them as I landed nearby and trotted over. I didn't want to crash into them, after all.
The unicorn smiled awkwardly as I approached and I got a good look at her. Purple coat, indigo mane with purple and pink streaks, and bright violet eyes. Cute, and judging from the smile, not very familiar with the whole social interaction thing. The baby dragon was also purple, with green spines and belly scales. They were obviously here together, but I'd definitely not seen them around town before.
The unicorn spoke first, a bit too formally, "Good afternoon. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I have been sent by Princess Celestia to help oversee the Summer Sun Celebration preparations. I was told that a pegasus named Rainbow Dash was in charge of clearing the sky, have you seen her?"
I smiled politely to the unicorn, who had to be Princess Celestia's personal student that we'd been told to expect, and said, "I'm Cloud Kicker, and it's very nice to meet you, Miss Sparkle. I'm afraid you won't see Rainbow Dash around today, she's in the hospital with a busted wing."
The unicorn's eyes widened at the news, while the little dragon piped up with, "Whoa. What happened to her?"
Twilight looked down at her companion and gently rebuked him, "Spike! You shouldn't pry into other ponies business!" like an older sister scolding her younger brother. Then, her eyes looked back up and she shyly asked, "So... what did happen to her?"
Staring at Twilight disbelievingly, Spike deadpanned "Oh. Don't pry into other ponies business, huh?" while I laughed at the quick wit of the little dragon and the embarrassed look on Twilight's face. She's definitely cute, especially when she's flustered.
After I’d stopped chuckling, I replied, "No no, it's nothing too scandalous, especially if you know the boss. She just had a bit of a crash is all. Trying what was described as "some sort of corkscrewing dive-bombing somersaulting thing" to me and she didn't pull up in time."
Twilight tilted her head to the side, obviously trying to process what she heard in a logical and sensible manner, and Celestia help me, she'd gone from cute to absolutely adorkable. I'm not even sure that's a word, but I'm using it! After several moments, she sputtered out "But... why would somepony do something that reckless?"
Ah, a question for the ages. I shrug with an easy smile and said "You'd have to know Rainbow to know that, trust me. She's got a good heart, but sometimes she gets an idea to try something and doesn't think it all the way through." Which is an understatement of all understatements, but it's good to not talk bad about the boss.
Spike snorts at that, and muttered "Gets an idea in her head and doesn't think it through. Who else do I know like that?" looking at his companion while she grins sheepishly again. I may have to see if she's interested in a little fun after our work is done, she's too cute to not even try. I get the feeling that she doesn't get around much, though, which complicates things. I'd hate to give her wrong impressions, especially since she's from out of town.
After a few moments, Twilight said, "So what about the skies? If Rainbow Dash isn't here, who's in charge of the weather teams for today?"
The talk of the skies got me back on track. "That'd be me, I suppose. The boss never got around to picking a weather team leader, but I'm pretty much the pony in charge until someone gets officially named." I said. That's one of the things I do wish Rainbow had done: Put a chain of command in place. She's always assumed that she'll always be there to run things since she likes to do things firsthoof, but this proves why you have the chain: In case you aren't.
Twilight nodded and replied, "So the skies are still pretty cloudy. Do you have a plan for getting the weather ready?"
I nodded back at her and explained, "Definitely. With Rainbow Dash and a couple other ponies out of action, we've kind of had to scramble to catch up. Even though we're short-staffed today, we've got the weather teams working hard to get the skies clear. It's going to take us a bit longer than we'd like, but the skies should get done in time, I promise."
Twilight smiled at the news, and said "Great, that's good to hear! Spike and I should get out of your hooves so you can get back to work. It was a pleasure to meet you, Cloud Kicker."
I smile back and nod, and replied “It was nice to meet you too, Miss Sparkle. I’m sure I’ll see you around town later!”
She started to turn to walk away, but she stopped and asked "Wait. Cloud Kicker. As in the Canterlot Kicker clan?" I nodded again, and she continued, "Wow, I’ve met a bunch of your relatives in the Guard! I don't know if I've ever met a Kicker that wasn't in the Guard."
Ouch. That hits one of the old sore spots for me, and I think she realized that she put her hoof in her mouth a bit, as she hastily added, "I'm sorry, that was rude of me! I'm sure you have your reasons why you're not in the Guard!" then even more hastily blurted out, "I'm sorry, that was rude too!"
I smiled and chuckled a bit, to help calm her down and because she's just too adorkable not to. Oh, what the heck, let's test the waters. "No no, that's okay Twilight. I do have my reasons. How about we meet up for dinner after I'm done clearing the skies, about 8 o'clock, and I'd be happy to let you get to know me, and even happier to get to know you better too." I winked, pouring on the Cloud Kicker irresistible charm.
The offer seemed to take her aback a bit, and she stammered "Oh, meet you for dinner, um... well..." before she's interrupted by a loud voice behind me.
"CLOUD KICKER! Figures I'd catch you slacking off! Hit on mares on your own time, we've got too many clouds to break up for you to be spending time thinking about seducing ponies!" I turned, and saw a particular pegasus with a pink and green mane glaring at me with her blue eyes from the cloud I had taken my brief siesta on. Oh Blossomforth, you have to pick the absolute worst times to flankblock me.
Twilight blinked a couple times, hearing the words hit on mares and blushed bright red before she blurted out "ImsorryIneedtobegoingnow!" and dashed off towards Town Hall, where the fashion pony Rarity was working on the decorations. Spike gaped at her rapid retreat for a moment, but quickly recovered and said, "Nice to meet you!" before he jogged after her, hollering at her to wait for him.
I sighed, and flapped my wings to bring myself alongside her cloud. "Blossom, that was Princess Celestia's personal student, and I was talking to her about the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. I know you're jealous when I hit on other mares and not you, but like I keep telling you, all you have to do is ask, and I'll be happy to add you to the list of bangable ponies." She's right, we've got a lot of work to do yet, but it should be one of my rules that there's always time for teasing Blossom.
The teasing got the desired effect: Blossom blushed almost enough to match Twilight Sparkle, and muttered something under her breath that I chose to believe was "Stupid Sexy Cloud Kicker" before she broke the cloud she was standing on with a quick stomp of her hoof and flew to the next cloud in line.
I laughed easily, and got back to work myself.
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not sure if parody
Ooh, ooh, I know! *raises hand* Equestria would have suffered eternal night under the iron hoofed rule of Nightmare Moon.
Due to the lack of a 'Comedy' tag, I have to assume that this story is serious in its premise, but unfortunately, the premise is completely idiotic. Rainbow Dash didn't get the Element of Loyalty because the just happened to be there when Twilight discovered the Element of Magic and reactivated the other five. She got it because she is the Element of Loyalty.
If Cloud Kicker had been there: The Elements would not have worked, Nightmare Moon would have banished the mane five (plus CK) to the moon for all eternity, and Equestria would have suffered and fallen apart under NMM's eternal night.
3764657 Who says there can't be more than one pony qualified to be the Element of Loyalty? There's already been two ponies that have borne that element, so why not more?
Anyways, this looks like a fairly good start so far. Faved.
3764657
Yeah, I haven't read the fic yet but I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. If they literally were the Elements of Harmony we wouldn't have scenes where Applejack lies, Pinkie Pie is depressed, Rarity is selfish and Fluttershy is a bitch. Rainbow Dash isn't the loyal-est pony in all of Equestria, but she did represent the spirit of loyalty that night. No reason why somepony else couldn't have done the same.
As far as I am concerned, this is an Alternate Universe fic, so consider my disbelief suspended. Also, you get a like and a fave because I like where this is going.
Well, there is not a lot going on yet (which is a good thing given the length of the chapter) so I cannot really say much, but your mechanics look solid, the characters seem good so far, and the concept is awesome so you get a like and a fave from me. I am looking forwards to seeing more teasing between Cloud and Twilight in the future, and I am also curious to see how this plays out across the board because this is going to cause a whole cascade of major changes. Cloud's relationships with her family are going to be drastically different which will cause a lot of other changes, Cloud is going to be forced into closer contact with AJ which should be interesting given what AJ thinks of Cloud, we will get to see how she gets along with Spike for the first time which could have some interesting consequences on the Spike/Rarity dynamic, and I have no idea what is going to happen with Rainbow.
Also, I honestly have no idea why you have down votes at this point because there is really not enough to form a complaint about the story, but some people are just assholes.
What is it with people and their aversion to alternate timelines? As Clara Oswin said, "any old idiot can be a hero" so if the Winning Pony personifies Loyalty instead of Rainbow Dash, that's the deal.
Interesting start. Can't wait to see more.
Can't go wrong with this idea. It was pretty much the first thing I thought of for AU month too. And I'd have been disappointed as hell if nobody up and tackled it. I really can't wait to see the interaction with Fluttershy. I'm pretty sure that'll instantly be the best part of this fic.
Well, this will be interesting. Especially since there will be further reaching repercussions than just the Nightmare Moon incident. I look forward to seeing how this ripples through the timeline.
3764765 Those things can still happen because the mane six are ponies, not paragons. They aren't perfect, they just represent the element they received extremely well. Just because AJ is the element of honesty doesn't mean that she's incapable of lying. Pinkie being the element of laughter doesn't mean that she's immune to sadness. Heck, with the exception of Putting Your Hoof Down, any time we've seen Fluttershy hulk out (metaphorically, so not counting Power Ponies), it's been to help/protect her friends, not because she wanted to or liked it.
And as far as all of the 'Oh, it's AU, so anything goes' comments... Yes, it's AU, but it's an established AU with an established character who, frankly, isn't terribly loyal to anyone but herself.
3765028
Not every headcanon in existence involves the Elements being exclusive to the Mane 6, or even terribly picky, Dianwei. There's sure to be ponies more honest than AJ, more loyal than Dash, more generous than Rarity, and more chee... no, actually, nevermind. Pinkie is the ultimate bearer of Laughter.
And if they became close friends, for a lot of people, myself included, that would be more than enough to buy the Elements working.
The Mane 6 are exceptional, but they may not be unique, y'know?
If you were looking at it from the point of view of fate and destiny, that's where the AU argument becomes very valid. Because in a different universe, that destiny could be likewise be different.
3765094 I'm willing to accept that, but... Cloud Kicker as the Element of Loyalty? Really? Granted I haven't read the entirety of Life and Times, but I made it through... 15 chapters and never saw anything to indicate that CK would make a good, or even last-ditch-effort, Element of Loyalty.
Ponies more honest than AJ? Possible, but doubtful in my opinion. More loyal than Dash? Again, possible but doubtful. More generous than Rarity? I have a seriously hard time with that after Rarity Takes Manehattan, but I suppose it's not completely impossible.
Not to mention, the mane six weren't really friends when they set out to defeat NMM, at least not from Twilight's point of view. The friendships between the ones already there is debatable, but AJ, RD, Pinkie, Shy, and Rarity just tagged along on Twilight's quest without her permission. They weren't her friends, they were just crazy ponies following her for no discernible reason. Granted, the became her friends during/as a result of it, but when they started out, Twilight wanted to do it on her own.
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The question is not "Are the main six the epitome of their elements?" They are obviously not perfect, and frankly if they were they would be boring. The question then becomes "Does Cloud Kicker exemplify loyalty?" And the answer is... it's complicated. I suppose it depends on your definition of what it means to be loyal. If it means staying true to somepony who loves her... it's complicated.
3765135
The thing is... if you looked at Dash, it's hard to see the 'Loyalty' most of the time too. Like with Rarity, the canonical FiM writers haven't always done the best job of showing why she deserves it.
Let's put it this way. We see Dash turn down the Shadowbolts in the premiere to stick with her friends. That's the qualification we see. If Cloudy was offered something of the same calibre, say, NMM promising that her shame and family issues would be forgiven, could you really see her betraying the rest of the Mane 6? Of course not.
Cloud makes stupid decisions. So does Dash. She has huge personality failures, like Dash. But Cloud is the type who would probably throw away her life away to save a loved one without thinking.... like Dash.
She also has a lot more of the filial side of loyalty going for her.
It probably actually would become a little more clear as you went. You see more of the more serious side of Cloudy as you progress through the Winning Pony plot. And less of the fun-loving, commitment-weak ethical slut.
3765153
Fidelity is Cloudy's giant, flashing weak point. But yeah, it's complicated, because there are other sides to loyalty than just, y'know, monogamy.
She was never exactly hiding the fact that she's not a one-mare mare, though.
3765173 True enough. I think I am focusing on Cloudy's lack of a loyal heart, because, you know... title? Maybe it would be better to have named it "The Life and Times of a Loyal Friend" at least then we know it's not focused on her heart... which is certainly capable of loyalty... just not to one.
3765028
"with an established character who isn't loyal to anyone but herself"
Really now?
3765214 Cloudy is capable of loyalty... within a certain definition of loyal. To put it another way,it depends on what you consider loyalty to be.
Wow... when did Blossomforth grow a pair in this AU?
She's usually a lot more... reserved? Tactful?
So far so good.
3765222
She is quite capable of loyalty as long as you don't mean sexual loyalty, at least from my understanding.
3764616
yeah the cover image makes it really hard to take this story seriously
I actually like this story's premise, the "what if" of another character replacing one of the Mane Six is always cool to at least think about.
However, this story does have some pretty noticeable issues. Tackling the pacing first, it kind of whips us back and forth a bit as it tries to establish the scene. This is only made worse by how nearly every sentence is some form of declarative, like "I do hope Rainbow's okay." This might work if it were an inner monologue, or even better, Cloud Kicker muttering to herself about it as she works.
My biggest suggestion would be to alter up the non-dialogue to make it flow as opposed to a bunch of chopped off sentences stating things.
Grammar-wise this story does pretty well for itself, though the overall structure is still a little bit rough.
My other, and probably biggest gripe with the fic overall, has to do with how even though you've used the AU tag, you're trying very hard to be true to stories in the established Winningverse stories. And while to a point that effort is needed to prevent the story from spiraling off and being totally divorced from Winningverse, don't be timid about it! Strike out, make this story something that stands apart and earns that AU tag! And if you're going to include references to defined Winningverse fanon, at least let it come out through character interactions, as opposed to Cloud Kicker arbitrarily thinking about it.
I think this story has some great potential, though just needs a bit more work to get there
An interesting take on it. I admit I have wondered about this particular Winning AU myself...it's bound to draw a huge pile of Winningverse fans.
Yep, a seamless transition between the canon and CQ's Winningverse, and you're talented enough to match CQ'S Cloud Kicker narrative and personality as well as insert plenty of wit and humor on your own...so I'd say this fic is definitely going to succeed if you keep this up. Good luck!
Not bad, not bad.
A few grammatical errors, particularly the lack of commas here and there, but nothing deal-breaking. Cloud is what we've come to expect, but not flanderizingly so.
A solid start. Not perfect, but solid. I'll be keeping an eye on this.
3765135 Pretty much everypony is more loyal than Dash. She switches sides faster than a coin flip in midair.
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I have to chime in on this, but aside from the sexuality/relationship issues, you do realize that you're talking about a military deserter, right?
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Technically, no she isn't. She graduated from West Point (the pony equivalent) and then didn't serve in the military. She isn't actually a deserter. Or did she even graduate? I forget if she ran away before or after she graduated. Either way, she can't desert if she never joins.
3765868
You sign a contract on entering military academies agreeing to service after graduation and are considered active members of the military while attending. So, yes.
How much the military chooses to pursue those who leave is a different question and I understand that they generally just let them go, but are well within their power to enforce service. Still, it was one of the major issues that killed the story for me. Even if her parents had the pull to keep Cloud Kicker from being pursued for it and kept her from getting a dishonourable discharge, any involvement with the military is off the table from then on.
Getting a command, even unofficially, among vets and cadets was laughable. As was use of resources meant for and frequented by the military, and most involvement with them.
Honestly, I had issue with her having a government job after that, though without an actual dishonourable, she might have gotten it.
3765885
Except that's obvious not how West Hoof works, as per the main story. :|
Well this should be an interesting bit of AUing...
Beyond needing a good application of spit-polish to really make it shine, this looks to be a well-handled What-if.
An excellent start. Keep 'em coming
3765885
Well, I would say that Cloud getting a job on the Ponyville weather team would've been a lot harder to pull off if Rainbow Dash wasn't running the show. I'm pretty sure her job interview consisted of Dash asking her if she wanted a job, and giving her one.
3765767 I just love how people tack on one these Elements as a character's only defining trait with no room for error.
Applejack has honesty issues when pride is on the line.
When Fluttershy goes assertive, she becomes an unlikeable jerk.
Rarity is known to be rather vain and uncaring at times.
Pinkie can fall into depressive states so OOC for her, they became the infamous "Pinkamena" meme.
Rainbow has does have a habit of looking out for herself at times.
Twilight started off as not caring about friendship.
Let's look at a few things:
Just because someone has a virtue doesn't mean they follow through with it 100% of the time.
As for Cloud, she lets her mistakes guide her future, and she takes her more important friendships very seriously. Is she perfect? No. But who is?
To summarize, a "good" character isn't on the north part of a moral compass, but rather east or west. (As long as it's not south.)
3765596 Loyalty is not about siding with one person. It is siding with who you think deserves more your support and you think it's doing the right thing.
Siding with somepony even when they've done something wrong is not loyalty, is obsession.
Woo, lots of comments!
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I have to say that I absolutely love the discussion on whether or not Cloud Kicker could be a suitable Bearer of Loyalty, more than I ever expected I would. Seeing people talking about and defending their viewpoints has been a very happy and enjoyable surprise.
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Thank you! I'll do my best not to disappoint!
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You're both absolutely right, it's not just as simple as finding all instances of Rainbow Dash in the story and just changing the name. More than just the different personalities of Cloud Kicker compared to Rainbow Dash, there's got to be ripple effects going into the future, and I think that's the most challenging part of this kind of story: Not just considering What Happened in Canon and in the Winningverse, and What's Happening in my story, but what those changes could mean for the future.
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Quoting Doctor Who? I approve!
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I'm very glad you're liking it so far! I've enjoyed the heck out of Life and Times and lots more in the Winningverse, so an opportunity to add a new spin on it is proving very awesome.
3765228
Oh, I agree, she usually is! Except, you ever have a really busy day at work when you've got tons of work to do, and suddenly see one of your coworkers slacking off and hitting on a customer/random bystander/anyone? Yeaaaaah.
I do try to write Blossom a little more sedate and in character in the future chapters.
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I know where you both mean! The cover image was me at 6 AM thinking "I have to have cover art of something! I know, let's go with something SILLY!" when yes, the fic is actually serious and not a parody. That cover picture is gone now, and I definitely appreciate your feedback!
3765405
Yeah, this being an AU fic that kind of is at a crossroads between the canon episode and the Winningverse, setting the stage for the immediate differences between my fic and the canon, then having interactions with Twilight Sparkle means that for the first chunk of the chapter, Cloud Kicker's sitting on a cloud doing nothing internal monologues, then suddenly lots of talking!... and, yeah I can see what you're saying on the pacing suffering a bit as a result.
If it helps, I think the second chapter does have better pacing, since it involves a more constant flow of conversation and moving from scene to scene.
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Thank you very much! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far!
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Yes, the modern comma is my mortal enemy, it seems.
On the future chapters, I'm trying very hard to be more careful on wrangling commas, and that hopefully will show in future chapters!
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An interesting detail: recently in Life and Times of a Winning Pony, Cloud Kicker points out that she's in the reserves, and Derpy then points out that she doesn't do the normal reserve training or draw a paycheck and Cloud Kicker monologues that her father arranged that so she wouldn't be listed as a deserter. So yeah, she ran out of graduation and didn't join the Guard, and she's not officially a deserter, but the implication is that she would have been otherwise, at least how I understood it. But as Chengar pointed out: It's not like Rainbow Dash would care in the slightest.
But I'm glad a majority of people seem to be enjoying it so far! Chapter 2 is being looked at by my pre-readers, and I've started Chapter 3. There's a projected nine chapters in line, some longer than others.
Thank you all again for your feedback and comments!
3769749 Thank you. Anyhows, I said it to prove a point. You see, it always sort of bothers me that the first club out of the bag when discussing the merits and shortcomings of an alternate universe series is to rant about how X has to be where he or she is or else rocks fall, everyone dies because Y is not important enough to possibly be a hero. This implies something terrible: a belief that certain people ARE nobodies. As the Doctor tells us, he's never met anyone who isn't important........
3769707 No, that's not loyalty. Siding with who you think deserves your support in each instance is honesty, *maybe*, if you want to see it as a virtue.
Sticking with your friends or the people you otherwise claimed you were loyal to, even if you don't necessarily agree with what they're doing, or if you'll suffer for it, is loyalty.
3767059
I'll say again that Cloud not being pursued and, so, avoiding a DD and managing to get a government job was the most likely part of that, but I'm sorry, it doesn't work like that.
It would be okay if Rainbow Dash was self-employed and the paycheck came out of private funds. If Rainbow were willing to put her career on the line, then paying her under the table as a temp job using a slush fund is fine. how, by your own worldbuilding and the type of worldbuilding you've used, Dash isn't running the show. She's the manager of a municipal branch of a government office, getting instructions from, and answerable and reporting to the local government and a central office. Both work for the government and are paid out of public coffers.
Just submitting her name for permanent payroll would require a background check. As you have built it, the Department Branch has the legal authority to conscript the entire able-bodied population of a town for a week at a time and issue, if not collect, fines for non-compliance to its citizens. These checks are not a modern, computerized thing, it's gone on for a very long time. It's just faster now.
She would have been flagged and RD told in no uncertain terms that Cloud will not be working for the Department, let alone reach an officially recognized managerial position within it. People who have earned themselves any form of punitive discharge can never be bonded, can never gain a security clearance and quite simply do not get jobs in the public sector.
Ergo, your story requires that she avoided any legal punishment to have that job, though that would make the already ugly situation with her military family even worse. And for that, I'm again sorry, but I really don't think you understand the animosity soldiers feel and show toward deserters, doubly for those who escaped without punishment, even among family.
Especially among family. Someone like Cloud would not be a black sheep; she's a walking black mark on the family and school, a cautionary tale told to cadets and a pariah. Asking to rejoin the guard would be met with a very definite no and righteous anger from those in the service. An unescorted civilian trying to use a mess, a regimental bar or, I believe you had a regimental brothel, would be told in no uncertain terms to leave. A deserter would bodily removed if he didn't leave immediately and be lucky to get out of it able to walk home.
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I'm sorry, but you have no idea how little much that matters, or how much worse that makes it when dealing with members of the service who know who you are. As I said, it is possible to get out of that without being pursued and with necessarily get a DD, but I assure you that every door with the military would be very resounding slammed shut for good and all.
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I will readily concede that you know a lot more than I do about how those things work out in the real world. However, Equestria works a bit differently; Forgiveness seems to be one of their major virtues; by real-world legal standards, half of the Mane 6 would probably be in jail for some of the things they've done during their occasional freak-outs. Given Equestrian standards, there's a lot more willingness to see her as a kid who made a huge mistake. If Discord and Luna can be forgiven...
That said, just getting out of the guard with a non-punitive discharge is going to take some sacrifices on her part. Being in the Elements of Harmony might force her to settle that particular account a lot sooner.
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Your Equestria, and particularly the family in question, has honour killings rather than let their family come to shame. There's also frequent mentions of centuries-old friction between families.
Luna and Discord both received what would be considered criminally cruel and unusual punishment for a period of and exceeding, respectively, a thousand years. Both of whom speak of being conscious during their imprisonment. Solitary confinement is considered a form of torture if it progresses past a few weeks.
Discord's punishment was an act of high treason committed against him by the sisters. He is, at best, currently serving indefinite parole. At worst, enslavement under threat of torture. His release was, explicitly, because he would be useful to Celestia. While now impossible and earlier unlikely due to Fluttershy's (and only Fluttershy's) refusal to go through with the punishment, any scenario was intended to be maintained under constant threat of immediate and permanent return to that imprisonment without hearing.
I have no idea how to class the issue with the Sun with Luna, but aside from some property damage to buildings she owned, as a ruler of equal status, Luna wouldn't have committed treason when she tried to kill Celestia. By in-show canon, it appeared to be in the second degree, in which case she served a sentence somewhere between about 70 - 200 times greater than is allowable in the modern day for that attempted murder, and she, again, spent it in solitary confinement.
On escaping, she may or may not have imprisoned her captor for a period of a few hours, committed what would amount to two counts of aggravated assault (arguably in self defense), one lesser count of assault, one count of cruelty to an animal, one count of what would likely be endangerment, put up scarecrows on her property and made a job offer that may or may not have been fraudulent. While inside her own home, she then tried to repel or kill an attacker who had broken in with intention of stealing a weapon with intent to use it on her.
On being defeated, and by admission being returned to sanity, she had not seriously harmed any private citizens and was granted a Royal pardon.
3770278 I (being the first in this story/these comments to, as you put it, "rant about how X has to be where he or she is or else rocks fall, everyone dies because Y is not important enough to possibly be a hero.") don't think that Cloud Kicker is a nobody, just that she's not a fit for the Element of Loyalty.
I'm not averse to alternate timelines in and of themselves, it's simply that this one (in my opinion/headcanon) has a quick and clear resolution that isn't the path the story takes. It's like saying 'what would have happened if Trixie had been there instead of Twilight?' Yes, Trixie has some talent with magic, but is she the Element of Magic? No. And before you say anything, yes, I am aware that there are several, if not many, AU stories that follow that exact plotline.
3773581 Okay, okay, we get it. The story is unrealistic. Can we please just move on and enjoy it regardless? (Not you obviously, but the rest of us would like to read this without worrying about injecting this much realism into a story about talking ponies.)
3764765
We need to only look at Rainbow Falls, Three is Company, and Trade Ya as recent examples of Rainbow not being in her 'element'. Okay, maybe the last example wasn't really about loyalty....but still, WTF RD?!
Besides, the mane 6 are suppose to represent those elements. That doesn't mean the elements define their character.
3765234
Totally agree.
When things get serious (especially in a world-threatening adventure like this), Cloudkicker is the kind of pony who will be by her friends' side, all the way through. Plus, she knows how to 'kick' some major flank.
Gandalf: "You could not ask for a better
swordsteed."And while her sexual lifestyle is morally questionable, and she carries some baggage from her past, this just makes her more unique and three dimensional. Also, her player pony-sona brings excellent (comedic) spice to the group dynamic.
I heard glass cracking
I like to think that wherever shiny is he suddenly has the urge to murder/beat up some one out of know where and is confused