Imbalanced

by Nameless Narrator

New Life: Job

[Blazing's Entry]

I have my own place right now and job that actually pays enough so I don't have to eat the grass of castle lawn but it's so-so. It's nothing to be proud of but it is the first thing I accomplished for myself in my whole life. Oh and my boss? Super hot mare who's friend with the head of princess Luna's guards. I think three entries are enough for one day so I'm going to unpack my things and then get ready for my first night shift.

Also, the pay sucks and did I remember to mention that the pay sucks?

[End Entry]

---

"This doesn't really seem worth the effort," I comment on the state of affairs after opening the door of the room I'm supposed to live in.

That is hardly fair though. One room is more than enough for me and the bonus of having a fireplace, though empty, is something. I've seen some advanced technology around the castle and in Choking's office so there must be electricity around here but most of the place seems fairly old-fashioned, I take what I can get anyway. Further exploration reveals two side-rooms, one closet small enough only to fit few things in and a bathroom. I experimentally twist both knobs of a shower in the bathroom corner and raise an eyebrow when hot water comes almost instantly when turning the red knob. In disbelief I turn the second knob ready for anything but the cold water that comes gushing out. To be honest, I was expecting something else after seeing the completely empty 'living' room but this place seems well kept and the lack of any equipment only means I don't have to bother throwing anything out.

Looking into the cracked bathroom mirror above a sink I see my reflection smiling weakly back at me as if encouraging me to go on. I've never been a fan of my bronze coat and sandy blonde mane, mostly because it didn't seem to fit with my grey, dull eyes but for the first time in my life I'm not having the irresistible urge to look away. Perhaps it is a good sign?

I lay down on the living room floor without even bothering to take off my hoodie. If I have a real complaint about this place it's that the room is really cold but that should be better tomorrow when I do my duty, the job... right. Simply put, what I have to do now is to get coal from one of the castle cellars and bring some to the every room of the castle every night - I'm going to hurt tomorrow but at least a braindead monkey could do it. Thankfully, all rooms in the castle have a slot next to the door for just such purpose, or so I've been told, so I don't have to bother ponies in their sleep and it means I can do it whenever I want during the night. That also means I can get some sleep, or at least rest since I'm not really used to sleeping in the early evening, the body will get used to it though.

"knock knock"

I roll my eyes, so it begins. I get up, unlock and open the door.

"Heeeeey!" a now familiar redmane batpony greets me from the hallway.

"Uh, hello?" my tone says 'firing me already?' between the lines of a greeting.

"Housewarming party!" she shouts and begins waving a bottle of something around.

"I hate to break it to you but this is not a house and there's just the two of us," I say, having no idea how to deal with the situation and becoming way more defensive than I want to.

She pushes past me and stops when she sees the interior of 'my place'.

"Gotta admit, wasn't expecting that," she says after turning her head from side to side to see if she didn't miss a hidden piece of furniture.

"Empty, huh?"

"Yeeaaa... I've never been here before actually. Is that all you have?" she asks, pointing at my bag in the corner.

"I think there's a metal cup in the bathroom."

She seems crestfallen to me but she doesn't give up and waves the bottle.

"Can you get this thing open? You unicorns are better at this stuff. I'll get the cup," she hands me the bottle and goes away.

She's right. She must have been thinking I'd have a corkscrew or something because non-magical ponies can't really open corked bottles without breaking them. Fortunately even my weak telekinesis is enough to pop the thing open and I'm experienced enough with drinking fizzy stuff not to spill any on the floor. I almost jump and kick the bottle when I hear her yell out though.

"YOU'VE GOT A SHOWER?"

"Uh, yeah? I mean yes, I do."

She comes back with the cup, sits down on the floor and pours what seems to be white wine, one of the bubbly ones, into it. Then she picks up the bottle and takes a long swig from which I deduce the cup is for me and have a small sip myself. It's surprisingly good considering the bottle is marked as 'White wine, extra bubbles'.

"Mind if I come here from time to time and take a shower? My apartment is on the other side of the town and I can't be bothered to shower at the gym in the cellars."

After I stop choking and snorting bubbles through my nose I look at her to see if she's joking.

"Pleeeeeeeeease!" her wide and completely fake innocent stare doesn't fit her pleading tone but calms me down. I'm not going down without a fight against this joker though.

"The bathroom door doesn't close and the keyhole is quite big, also you might have noticed there is no shower curtain."

From her devilish grin I know I've lost. Whether she can read me or just doesn't care I don't know but the hungry look she casts at the bathroom door shows her intentions quite clearly.

"I'm sure a gentlecolt like you wouldn't even dream of acting in such uncouth manner," she says in a mock bookish voice and winks at me.

"Soooo?" she continues.

"Yea sure, have a blast."

I can easily admit that I would be the first one to enjoy the sight of slippery and wet mare in my shower but somehow her completely open approach to the subject prevents me from even thinking about spying on her more than any threat would.

"Thank ya, have a bubbly! And don't be so nervous, technically I'm your boss but that's only on paper," she encourages me and pours more 'totally not wine' into my cup.

"What do you mean?" her last remark wakes my curiosity.

"You are technically a Nightguard now. It's just an official thing so don't go ordering citizens around and your real rank is somewhere between a recruit and an office trash can. I'm just a guard with extra responsibility of designing shifts so I'm such a low rank that I can't have a real subordinate meaning you are lost somewhere in the command structure and your real boss is probably either Sharpie or princess Luna. You can ask them about your coal duties if you want more info."

I choke again at the throught of asking the stern-looking batpony or the royal sister about something trivial such as how much coal are they supposed to get.

"That sounds unhealthy," she comments on my coughing but my torture isn't over yet.

"I'll go and have a shower then, any objections?"

I just keep squirming on the floor unable to control my body and mind.

"Perfect!" she says and gets up while throwing her bag down to the door.

When I finally get a grip on myself and curse her, internally of course, I realize her visit actually gave me a chance to sleep through the evening thanks to whatever little alcohol the fizzy drink contained. I go through my things and don't find anything useful so I just lay back on the cold stone floor and try to ignore the horrible off-key singing coming from behind one of the doors. The heat from inside caused by the drink is just pleasant enough to let me rest when combined with my nervous exhaustion and eventually all sounds fade and I drift off. I have nothing of any worth with me anyway so I'm content and not even a weird mare of a species I've never met before today is enough to worry me now.

I wake up in the dark with something wrapped around me and for once I'm thankful for there not being absolutely anything in the room between me and the light switch by the door. Flipping it unfortunately just lights up a small spot in the middle of the ceiling where a solitary bulb is screwed in, it is enough for me though. I find the keyring Choking left here and with hope of finding some coal bags in the cellar I begin my patrol around the castle.

Shaking and aching all over I collapse when I get back to my room after finishing my rounds. The thing which was wrapped around me is a rug from Choking's office.

Comments

[xoid]

Nothing spectacular, but decent enough so far. Some niggling little errors here and there, but overall I’m liking this.

[AzureShade]

choking on carbonated beverages sucks.

[An Alternate Universe]

"That sounds unhealthy," she comments on my coughing but my torture isn't over yet.

So does p***ing off a god, but Blazing didn't let that stop him, now did he?

[Anonymous Critic]

Shaking and aching all over I collapse when I get back to my room after finishing my rounds. The thing which was wrapped around me is a rug from Choking's office.

One complaint, the way that last paragraph was written makes it feel like it was done as an afterthought. At the very least you could have reversed the order so it would be chronologically accurate, if nothing else.

In other words, is it really so likely that Blaze would have gone through his job, taking all the time shoveling all that coal– enough for each room of a fricking castle, doing all of this and somehow NOT noticing what is wrapped around him until AFTER he is done with all of that? Seriously... The whole paragraph should be rewritten, preferably as multiple paragraphs so it as a whole doesn't seem to be done as much as an afterthought, but at least that much should be done.

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

I have my own place right now and....a…. job that actually pays enough so I don't have to eat the grass of castle lawn but it's so-so. It's nothing to be proud of but it is the first thing I accomplished for myself in my whole life. Oh and my boss? Super hot mare who's friend (friends) with the head of princess Luna's guards. I think three entries are enough for one day so I'm going to unpack my things and then get ready for my first night shift.

[Direct Access]

Yikes.
Things seem weirdly weird in this story.
The irony you have been building up is not lost in me, btw.

The only thing that can push things to the better for him is probably a lucky(or unlucky) encounter and some accident.