Bronze Armor: Change
[Blazing's Entry]
Things are CRAZY right now.
Valiant Charge got orders to relocate to some border fortress and now he's checking passports of visiting griffons. I would love to see him swing for the double murder attempt but as it turns out he is the second son of some noble family that has ties with Celestia and to keep peace and balance between highborne class and current government they let him go. The thing keeping me warm at night though is that he's on probation. If he even touches somepony or gets into connection with somepony suspicious, his life is forfeit. This might seem easy to abuse but he really should have died without even having this second chance.
Chokey's been promoted to some kind of officer status for displaying leadership and diplomacy required for dealing with a big case involving somepony with higher rank than her and her own subordinate. Personally I think it was just to shut her up, she's been more pissed about Valiant's verdict than me. Now that she has her brand new office she spends less time at my place and as annoying as her visits usually were, I kinda miss it. We still practice together though and Sharp always has some advice for either of us.
I'm not sure how things stand between us. We haven't talked about what happened during Heart's Warming but Sharp seemed happy when I asked him to train me more and Chokey doesn't really like to think too hard about things so I guess everything is back to normal.
Also thanks to some old law stating that trainers must be the best ponies-at-arms and with their defeat comes their successor I've been promoted as well to a drill sargeant. The best thing is that I don't have to go through any classes or recruit training because technically I was a guard already although one of lower rank than the castle garden fence. The worst thing is that the year of combat training for newbies has just ended and there is a new batch coming.
I'm gonna be teaching recruits.
[End Entry]
"Wearing armor sucks," I complain when the black batpony shows me how to tighten the straps of my breastplate.
"Look in the mirror and say that again, mister natural platemail."
"I mean I can't even move properly. How can I show somepony how to do pushups with this amount of metal on me?"
"You don't have to be doing everything with them, just show them few times and then shout at them while they sweat out the fat."
"Me? Shout at somepony?" I lean back and try to run away but she's holding the piece of metal bound to me and refuses to let go.
"Yea, it's easy. I remember it from my recruit days. Just end your every sentence with worm, maggot or piece of something nasty."
"I can't teach anypony. My weapon skills suck," I retreat to a position easier to defend.
"Oh shush. You are without a doubt the best mari- marti- kicky-punchy guy in the Guard and Sharp says he can't beat you with a sword no matter how hard he tries."
"SLANDER!" I overact a bit but it's true. Our last sessions with me using combat horseshoes or a sword were kind of one-sided.
"Also he says you're terrible at using a spear and usually inclined to break your own legs with a staff swing. Perhaps you two could find a better use for long double-ended polished stick?"
"Aaaaand there goes my overactive imagination, thanks for that. Now I won't be able to even talk to him without blushing."
"Got your mind offa newbies?"
I sigh. If only I had a counter to know how many times I usually do that during a conversation with her.
"It helped. By the way, you know I'm going to just take it off when the session starts anyway?"
"First impression is important, gotta look official. Now where did I put the helmet?"
"Noooooo I don't want to wear a bucket! I can't hear a thing in it," this time I really mean it. There is NOTHING I hate wearing more than a helmet. My transformation improved my hearing quite a lot and wearing the piece of padded metal deafens me completely. I guess since the difference isn't so big for normal ponies they don't take it so hard.
"Fine, but you have to carry it with you then," she admits defeat after seeing that a wild ox cart couldn't budge me on this.
"Is it really necessary? Shouldn't the first lesson be something like showing them around the castle or the recruit barracks?"
"They already had orientation and some classes a week ago. Now it's time for their basic training."
"Won't they be freaked out by how I look?" I finally vocalize something that's been bothering me a LOT. I still have my mane and tail but with my whole coat replaced by bronze plating I feel uncomfortable around others more than ever before.
She holds my head and looks me in the eyes. I don't look away for once because I want to enjoy every second of her red irises piercing my thoughts.
"I don't mind. Princess Luna didn't seem to mind. Sharpie would bone you in a second despite everything and nopony ever complained aside from you. If some dumb kid thinking he's the boss around here has a problem with you then just tell him to drop and give you twenty. That should teach them."
"I can't force them to give me money!"
"Good one. That means pushups, not bits, dummy. If it helps I'll come and visit you sometimes. We could do a little demonstration for them."
I really should be grateful for somepony forward enough not to let my defense mechanism win but the thought of somepony's future prospects resting in my hooves is terrifying. This isn't about me anymore.
"But what should I do? I mean should I teach them weapons or something else? What if it's not enough and they fail during whatever exam you Guards give them? That will be MY fault."
"I think that if you teach them whatever helped you absolutely destroy the best staff user in the guard and his four henchponies while fighting in snow and darkness they should be fine. Also the combat exams aren't that bad. They get to choose a weapon and then they get smashed by a far more experienced guard. The trick is to last long enough for him to give you a passing grade. Not always in a fight of course," she grins when a memory comes to her.
I try to decipher this for a while.
"You slept with your exam... guy?" I finally realize and am surprised at how little I am surprised.
"What can I say? I'm a lover, not a fighter. Maybe you'll get lucky as well."
I pretend to be writing things in an imaginary notebook.
"Turn into a monster. Go berserk. Lose all your fur. If all else fails, sleep with me. Check!"
"Close enough. Sprinkle into it some deep cosmic wisdom and you're set. Don't look at me like that! I've read some of your griffon mags. Be calm as the depths of the sea, strike with the unstoppable force of a tsunami and your mind can shatter a mountain!" she imitates a passage I quickly remember.
"To be fair, that griffon did just break twenty bricks with his forehead. Anypony would be confused after that. Jam beats marmelade and with fateful stars shining on your toaster the breakfast is complete!"
"See? Easy! Now go and show them who's boss. I won't be able to make it today but I'll try to catch up with you tomorrow during lessons."
They are scared of you more than you of them.
If that's the case, there will be a lot of cleaning up to do.
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Why are you surprised at that, you should've know that long before she implied it.
That was simply brilliant.
9088206
Even I sometimes manage to fit the words together the right way. Stroke of luck, mostly.
9088252
I just had to look up what Bojack Horseman was. Well, Blaze eventually gets rid of his drinking problem just in time to face the "three gods of Equus are after his throat" problem.
9088271
Enjoy the train wreck while it lasts. There's like ten more books in this storyline, so it's a long train which gets progressively more wrecked.
Well... it could be worse, you could be teaching the guys who already know everything you know, more or less, and then some... Meaning you would be struggling to try and come up with things to teach and drills to run in the vain attempt at pretending you know what your doing.
This way, you, and the recruits will both get the opportunity to grow and learn. It could mean the difference from pretending you are a college professor, and trying to play the part of a first grade elementary school teacher.
Also... I wonder what rank Valiant is know if he is no longer the drill seargent?
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Your+Face+My+Fair+Lady+Accustomed+YouTube&&view=detail&mid=A866D5BA70F1FF64C38CA866D5BA70F1FF64C38C&&FORM=VDRVRV
with this recruitment and promotion method, no wonder the guard is crap
the guy has no military background what so ever
11162303
Let me quote Big Mac: "Yeeep."
You know reading one of your first stories is interesting because at the start this seemed like a bit of venting (which made it a target for that one jerk) but I can see you current writing style slowly forming as I get further into it
11218147
Blaze's entire direct storyline is nothing but venting, and I'm pretty sure it delayed me from "venting" myself. Still, it is the basis for my entire canon and offers lore which the new changeling stories simply don't. On the other hand, those brighten people's day on occasion or help them kill some time, which is probably the best I can hope for.