Imbalanced

by Nameless Narrator

The Worst Two Days Ever: Breakfast

[Blazing's Entry]

As everypony knows, the best time to write a diary to sort out your thoughts is when the guards are threatening to permanently unlock your door.

So...

...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[End Entry]

---

"Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!"

Did I do anything at the party? I don't think so because I just remember sitting around a bit and then leaving with a pretty cheap bottle in my bag. Is that it, stealing royal property? Damn, the stupid panic attacks are getting worse every time. Must stop and think clearly for at least a second. Leave through the window? This is a third floor so even if I harden my armor I might not leave unscathed.

"Stupid worries, stupid life!" I mumble to myself.

The table grabs my attention but instead of trying to find a way out I'm trying to find something to blame.

"Stupid book! You didn't even help at all."

"knock knock"

The knocking is quiet this time and almost questioning.

Just open the damn door. You are an embarrassment to ponykind.

The short walk to the door seems like an eternity with my mind being criss-crossed by doubts and fears like meteors flying through the night sky. I know this is all irrational, I know all that but some habits are just so deep in my bones it's not possible to deal with them easily. Well, it is but I'm out of liquor at the moment.

Not even my natural unicorn telekinesis is working so I try to operate the keys using my hooves under the effects of heavy hangover. The lock eventually clicks.

"Mornin', Blaze!" I get greeted by Choking, who in contrary to her official statement isn't wearing any insignia or armor.

"Uh- I- You-. Don't ever-! What are you-? Owwww," is the only coherent thing that gets out of me when my finally loud voice causes fireworks in my head.

"You drink too much," she says simply.

"And you are too loud, too black and your mane is too red," I whisper a retort with the meaning that some things just are, no matter one's effort.

"Those are my finest points!" she smiles but I'm not in the mood. My inability to deal even with the most basic situation of normal life kind of soured my morning.

"Same goes for me and drinking. What do you want?"

"Got a favor to ask. Can you take over my shift tonight?"

No.

"THAT'S the official business?" I ask and immediately lower my voice when pain follows.

"Technically... yeah?" she asks innocently.

I shake my head.

"I can't, I have other plans for tonight."

She sniffs around me and peeks inside my place.

"I can imagine," she comments on the smell of stale alcohol and other accusing things.

Why doesn't she shut up and ask one of her dozens coltfriends to do her a favor for once instead of using me all the time?

Because you have no real life and your lost time doesn't matter.

"You know? Why don't you trade somepony else a bit of nighttime fun for it," I ask more aggressively than I want to.

Her surprised look cools me down a bit but not enough to stop me from taking my frustration out on her.

"Somepony is edgy in the morning. I just don't have anypony else to ask, alright?"

I really want to kick myself but my self-control evidently went on a vacation sometime eariler.

"So it finally happened. There's nopony in Canterlot you haven't slept with."

"Well... there's you. I know you're moody but this takes a cake. You could have just said no."

Exactly. Instead you're still running your mouth and spitting insults.

Shut up. It's an insult only when it isn't true.

"Fine. NO! Go away."

Go kill yourself.

At the moment it seems more inviting than continuing this conversation and ruining our relationship any more.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeease!" she begs with fake tears in her eyes which reach bowling ball proportions. So much for 'you could've just said no'.

She's giving you a second chance which you don't deserve in the slightest.

SHUT UP! That's it, I'm ordering a lobotomy. How does next week sound? Lovely, thank you, doctor. But the voice is right, the bastard is always right in the end and I have no choice but to listen unless I want the only semblance of mare in my life to slowly get pushed out of it by my nonsense.

Which would be significantly better for her and everypony else connected to you.

"Fine, I'll do it. When and where?" I accept and now it's her who's nervous which spreads to me very easily.

"Remember you already accepted, 'kay?"

"Yes?" I ask, seeing the approaching 'Panic 2: The Return' on the horizon.

"You're gonna be escorting princess Luna to Ponyville for Nightmare Night. You're leaving when she raises the moon so just be ready at her door when night falls."

Maybe it's time for Panic 3: The Absolute Horror? Yes, it is.

"You're crazy! During every official occasion she's supposed to be escorted by batponies. That's ponies and/or bats, I don't fit either description."

"Too bad, you accepted already."

"But- but-"

"Hmmmm?" she raises an eyebrow.

I've got nothing. Graveyard shift with the princess. At least I won't need Rotgut to sleep tonight, or I might need double. I look around and my eyes wishfully stay on a bottle marked: ' Don't sue us for any health damage. You drink this stuff, our lawyers don't '.

"Nothing. Have fun at the Canterlot Nightmare Night celebration."

"Thanks! I'll buy ya somethin-" her obvious lie gets cut short by me slamming the door.

"Yea. And I'll pretend I believe you just like hundred times before."

With the day ruined so soon after it began I turn to the only clear goal on the horizon, my morning routine. I put my silver armor on and leave the shabby apartment. The morning walk is easily my favorite part of the day because usually there are no unexpected news which would ruin it, with today being unpleasantly unique. Still, with a vanilla cigarette in my mouth and the weak light of morning sun shining in my face I gradually recover my wits and think about tonight.

Firstly, I have to apologize to Choking. While she never actually fulfilled anything she promised to me for my very usual 'help' whenever she wanted to go home early or to go to a concert, I still acted like an idiot.

No... really?

Seriously, if you just tried to help instead of constantly bothering me after I do something wrong I might not have to shut you down with drinking every night.

I seem to remember the good old days when I used to but you ignored me on regular basis and kept doing stupid stuff. So this is what you get now. I will keep you down until you become something useful or break down completely, I don't really care which.

True. So much for morning light easing my depression. The second chance for the day to get better comes soon enough though and Donut Joe's shop, my regular breakfast place, is in view. Even this early it's full of ponies getting some sugar before going to work and I take my place in queue. Somepony nudges me from behind.

"Good morning, sir. I'm surprised to see you here."

Yeah, because I totally don't come here every single morning. The white earthpony with uncharacteristically blue mane greets me respectfully.

"Hi, Heavy. And stop calling me 'sir', we are the same rank now. Also, I completely understand your surprise at seeing me here. It must have been what... a whole day since we met here last time?"

"Rough morning?" he asks, completely untouched by my sarcasm.

I should be happy to have friends who can deal with my mood changing on random basis, correction - I should be happy to have any friends, but if controlling it was easy then there wouldn't be any problems, right?

"Damn you, Heavy. If you keep acting this calm then I'll just feel even more inferior. Still, why would you be surprised to see me here?"

"I thought commander Darkness was going to visit you this morning... oh," he stops when he realizes the possible cause for the stormy mood.

"Yea, she did. She just wanted me to take over her shift so she can go to the celebration tonight."

"She must have forgotten to tell you then. Rising Thunder is off sick so she was supposed to tell you that your groups are merging until further notice."

Crap. That means I have no time for breakfast.

"Note to self - choke that little skank."

"Don't forget to invite me to watch, sir."

"You can bring your own rope and a ballgag. I'm sure you or Sharp can find one somewhere. Gotta run, bye!" I leave the queue and start running to the castle, hungry and angrier than a rabid badger.

I have to run because Rising's lessons begin half an hour earlier than everypony else's to 'build character' in his recruits. Thankfully, a habit from when I was young of waking up way too early to have enough time to do everything in case something horrible happened saves me just like many times before. I mean even if I can't deal with my mental problems there is no reason not to use them to my benefit from time to time.

Running has never been my strength but the stamina I gained through spending time in the castle gym and on patrols pulls me through this and I make it to the practice grounds with enough time to spare to stop my lungs from flying away and make the red dots behind my eyes disappear.

Considering Rising's training methods his earthponies should be terrified of me, right? I mean I did beat him up once in front of his group when he was too hard on a newbie. What can possibly go wrong?

Comments

[cosmosain]

What can possibly go wrong?

you just screwed your self

[PrincessLunaTheGamer]

3900038 Agreed.

[Anonymous Critic]

"Fine. NO! Go away."

You are probably going to regret that...

"Yes?" I ask, seeing the approaching 'Panic 2: The Return' on the horizon.

Heh. Sounds like my own sense of humor.

"You're gonna be escorting princess Luna to Ponyville for Nightmare Night. You're leaving when she raises the moon so just be ready at her door when night falls."

This is gonna be fun...

Maybe it's time for Panic 3: The Absolute Horror? Yes, it is.

Coming soon to a theater near you...

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

I seem to remember the good old days when I used to but you ignored me on....a…. regular basis and kept doing stupid stuff. So this is what you get now. I will keep you down until you become something useful or break down completely, I don't really care which.

I should be happy to have friends who can deal with my mood changing on ….a….random basis, correction - I should be happy to have any friends, but if controlling it was easy then there wouldn't be any problems, right?

[Amos Anon]

"And you are too loud, too black and your mane is too red," I whisper a retort with the meaning that some things just are, no matter one's effort.

Rrrrrrrrrrracist!!!