Imbalanced

by Nameless Narrator

From Bad To Worse: Takeover

[Choking's Entry]

Zzzz Zzzz Zzzz.

[End Entry]

---

Morning light leaves me half-awake without the interference of an alarm clock. Snuggling a warm, fuzzy, body pillow going up and down in regular intervals I circle my hind legs around it as well.

... since when do I have one? Isn't that the thing some desperately lonely souls buy to feel warm at night? It smells nice though, a bit natural but nice nonetheless so I just hug it tighter. I don't remember buying one but perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea.

The pillow snorts. Did I break it somehow? To test the idea I press it hard with all the strength in my waking muscles. The pillow begins coughing violently and reality trickles back to my world.

"Sorry," I apologize to the 'pillow'.

"No problem. You have no idea what I had to survive with Scream," the deep voice stops after realizing his mind may have been still in a different place.

"Mind sharing?"

"You have met her and seen how changing she can be. Let us just say that a random mood swing was dangerous in bed and leave it at that."

"Oooh whips and such?"

"Replace whips with bolts of lightning and fire, mind control spells and... well yes, whips and you get the idea," remembers Void, probably fondly.

"That sounds crazy even to me."

"Maybe so but it still was worth every second."

"You're really just a stallion after all."

"And you are just a filly compared to me."

"Sorry, granddad."

"I am going to spank you, missy."

"I heard that's a special treatment at the Buckingham Palace but you have to pay the whorses extra. I like you though so you might get it for free if you're real nice," I remember the best dress-up club in Canterlot.

"You are as bad as Scream."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Please do not, one of her is enough."

"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP"

As the alarm clock begins its morning routine we both react at once.

"Crap."
"May your soul suffer in eternal darkness!"

The alarm clock explodes in a burst of black flame. I look at Void but he seems more shocked than me, he also has his smaller form back. Too bad, I might have taken a vacation if he was in his real one.

"Well, you can be grumpy in the morning," I say as he looks at his hooves in disbelief.

"I-I did not think I would be able to do something like that this soon."

"After a night with me all stallions feel powerful."

"Do not start that again."

"Aww c'mon. Make a lady feel appreciated."

"I suppose there is a reason for setting up that alarm clock or are you just a masochist?"

"Maybe a bit of both, wanna experiment?"

"Alarm clock, girl. Alarm clock."

"Oh right!" I blink few times and run to the bathroom while Void just slams himself back on the bed.

That's a good thing because I don't have to bother with making breakfast and I can just buy something at the castle cantine. The taste of menthol toothpaste in my mouth is refreshing and washes away worries about Void's power. The immortals aren't really the most stable creatures and finding my apartment sucked into deep space or filled with tentacles is something one has to worry about. I can't do much about it though and the toothbrush in my hooves reminds me of Blazing's deranged expression last morning. A night's worth of sleep makes that memory more funny than sad and I remain positive despite seeing black sparks flying through my apartment as I leave.

The first thing to do is to take care of Blaze's recruits.

Breakfast...

Or that. I head to the castle, passing the time by messing with staring citizens. Three years after princess Luna's return and ponies still freak out when seeing a batpony. A smile here, a wave there and even the bravest avert their gaze from my beauty. Just kidding, my exotic nature usually makes my seduction attempts easier or more difficult depending on my target's tastes.

A friendly wave from a white earthpony invites me to his table at the cantine and I go there as soon as I grab my morning coffee and fresh sandwiches.

"Good morning, ma'am," greets me Heavy Hoof.

"Mfwning, Hwoof," I mumble with my mouth full of daisies and bread.

"I can wait."

I just gesture him to continue with one hoof and shove another sandwich in my mouth with the other.

"Alright. Blazing Light wasn't at yesterday's evening training session and when I asked Rising Thunder about him he just told me to ask you. Did something happen?"

I gulp down too fast and almost choke on the mouthful.

"You mean you haven't heard?"

"Haven't heard what?" asks Heavy Hoof suspiciously.

"Blaze was executed yesterday morning for a murder attempt on prince Blueblood."

"Whaaaaa?" this high pitched half-screech is most uncharacteristic from the lumbering earthpony and would be incredibly funny if the thing causing it wasn't so depressing.

"I really don't want to go into the details. Sorry, Hoof."

"But how... why?"

"Don't ask, just don't even ask."

I'm happy he doesn't press the issue. Blaze was a hero to him and I'm pretty sure he had a small crush on him.

"Hmmm... what should we do about his group of newbies then?" Heavy focuses on the business at hoof.

"I'll practice with them."

"No offense, but you are terrible at fighting and there is very little you could teach a unicorn."

I look at him through narrow eyes but he's right. Compared to drill sargeant like him, my overall skill level is questionable. I've been practicing hoof-to-hoof combat with Blaze for years though.

"I could teach them unarmed combat and basics with other weapons, would that be enough?"

"Possibly but you're risking their failure at the finals and your possible demotion so it's really just up to you."

"Wow. Your trust in me is really amazing."

"I'm sorry if it sounded too harsh but truth be told you've never been good with weapons. That's why Blazing taught you unarmed combat."

Completely wrong but the point stands.

"Then... are you free this morning?"

"I can shove my group on Rising Thunder's shoulders if necessary. Why?"

"I'd like you to evaluate my skills in any way you like and tell me if they are enough not to make the recruits fail later."

"You're on, cupcake."

"Hmmm?"

"I mean - Of course, commander!"

"Just kidding. Love ya, Hoof!" I say with a smile and leave. I suddenly have too much to do and too little time.

I'm going to need every little help I can get so I begin stretching and warming up in the castle gym before I have to go to the morning training session. I'm not stupid enough to think I can actually beat Heavy but all I have to do is to impress him enough. Technically, he has no say in whatever I can or can't do but he knows the requirements for recruits way better than me so while I want to do something connecting me to Blaze I also want to keep my job. There is a lot of batponies around, unwinding after shifts, and I wave at few familiar faces but nopony is in the mood to talk so I just find a free spot to practice and a free sandbag.

Alright. Let's start with the basics.

Hearing Blaze's voice in my head relaxes me this time instead of being upsetting. I remember the good old times of us training under the night sky, getting ready to teach Valiant Charge a lesson.

Stand on your hind legs. It's easier than you think... I'll be behind you to help you keep balance.

I stand up with my forelegs in a defensive position in front of my chest. What would surprise most inexperienced ponies is the fact that just standing and balancing is much more difficult than moving and swinging my weight around.

Now slowly... SLOWLY move your foreleg to an imaginary enemy's chest.

I punch the air several times in succession and turn around for a roundhouse kick which ends with me swaying and trying not to fall. Being extremely agile gives me an advantage but I'm small and the difference in raw power between me and an armed earthpony warrior is just too high.

It's about power only when you make it that way. You are small but still strong enough to strike a spot where the movement comes from and break the enemy's balance.

I randomly jump around on all fours and with the last jump I buck the sandbag hard with my hind legs just like earthponies do with fruit trees.

Try to hit the enemy in the chest. If you go for the head you risk breaking your bones or chipping a hoof by not hitting right because the skull is surprisingly tough.

Once again in a balancing position I punch the air, this time way lower than before, aiming for where the chest of a standing enemy would be.

And if all else fails, go for the eyes, kneecaps, crotch... anything soft, crunchy or painful. We are not wrestlers, and we fight to survive a surprise attack or deal with a disorderly and possibly armed enemy. Honor has no place in such fight.

I jump in an attempt to get around an invisible enemy to get him from behind. To make it a bit flashy I attempt few kicks to the imaginary knees in the process.

In the worst case just run and don't look back. Shame is easier to survive than shattered spine.

I probably should have asked Heavy to practice with me first to get back into things. That way I might have had a chance at not getting dumpstered horribly.

Don't think about the fight, you are fast enough to trust your reflexes and instincts. I'm much slower so planning and thinking is my thing. And never assume an enemy is unbeatable, most ponies have no idea what an unarmed fighter can do.

Too bad Heavy Hoof isn't one of those ponies. He's always been interested in anything new and when we used to practice with Blazing he's often been there to watch. Still, his progress didn't get past boxing and he should have had no chance to practice unless Blazing has been training him after Heavy's promotion in which case I am basically screwed no matter what I do.

The other gym users snicker as they watch me spin and twirl but eventually I'm done and go to my office to put on my official armor. Then I have to explain to the recruits why Blaze won't be there anymore and get smashed by a big, scary earthpony... in rainbow socks, if he decides to make things interesting.

I tilt my head few times for the picture of princess Cadence to change back and forth.

"Guess you're getting screwed pretty hard, eh? Well, same goes for me."

Completely unprepared, I set course for the training grounds.

The recruits were happy about the unexpected free evening, I suppose, but I don't think I remember Blaze ever not being at the practice session. Even when sick he was there to give tips while coughing and sneezing. My and Heavy's presence almost makes them swallow their tongues in anticipation.

Showtime.

"Recruits! Thanks to the absence of sargeant Blazing Light I will be the one to work with you today and sargeant Hoof is here to learn some advanced techniques as well."

I look at him and stick my tongue out. He stays silent and just smiles back at me.

Uh oh.

"What happened to sarge?" comes from one of the unicorns. I remember the joker who was running around as a punishment for his 'whipped' remark.

"The drug thing has been cleared up but thanks to unforseen circumstances he can't be here right now."

"When is he coming back, ma'am?"

"I... don't know."

Heavy Hoof notices the small pause as well as the uncorns and is there to help.

"Silence, recruits! Sargeant Light can't be here at the moment and that's it, so your training falls to commander Darkness because we have no unicorn trainer available now. That of course means your magic training and sword combat will not continue which shouldn't be a big deal since you're fresh and can't fight yet anyway. To deal with that, commander Darkness will be here to teach you standard things necessary for a guard to keep him in good shape as well as some hoof-to-hoof combat. Since this is a special circumstance you can freely chose to learn spear and staff combat from me or sargeant Thunder. With enough training you might make decent earthponies when your time here is over."

The main concern of the unicorns is directed at me even after Heavy's interruption.

"Is it actually possible to go unarmed against somepony with weapons?"

"It is possible and very effective but it's been a while since my last practice so Heavy Hoof here is going to help me with a little demonstration. If I go down too hard then you can easily switch to some other trainer so you don't have to worry about failing the combat part of your finals, I will not hold it against you."

"Shall we, then?" asks Heavy, already holding his staff.

"Right."

I have no clue what to expect of him but one thing is certain - he won't go easy on me.

I feign a step forward and have to immediately draw my leg back when one end of the staff swings through the space where my hoof would have been. Seeing an opening, I move and punch forward inflicting a terrible amount of pain to the air where Heavy's been just a fraction of second earlier. My amateur-ish punch was avoided just by leaning slightly and next short swing of the ground end of the staff changes my vertical position into a very horizontal one.

"Ooof, you've gotten better, cheater!" I whine, picking myself up from the ground.

"Just a bit. Another round?"

I have no idea what to do. Heavy is slower than me but keeps using short, bursty moves which take such small amount of time that my speed is useless. I'm just wasting too much time waving my limbs ineffectively. The element of surprise might work here.

A flurry of blows hits Heavy's face when I jump towards him instantly and follow the assault with a low kick to the back of his knee and an another one aimed at his crotch which fails, blocked by his staff. The staff gets kicked away and I watch Heavy kiss the ground. While the damage I actually did is minimal, the short incapacitation would be enough in a normal fight to finish the enemy off so this round is mine.

"That wasn't bad but if it was Blazing Light I would have been looking for my teeth in Rising Thunder's practice area," huffs Heavy Hoof heavily.

"I just don't like my sargeants sipping lunch through a straw."

"Oh really, how do you feel about sipping commanders though?" Heavy smiles widely and lets out a little taunt.

It's time to apply Blaze's 'fair combat sucks' rule because against serious Heavy I know I don't stand a chance so I close the gap between us with one jump, land on my front hooves, turn my entire body around in one wide swing and buck upwards with my hind legs.

It works... in a way. His staff quickly trips my front legs mid jump and I end up with my mouth hitting the ground first. The rest of the move finishes though and my hind legs connect with Heavy's head which unfortunately pushes my face deeper into the dirt.

The recruits begin laughing when they see me sitting on the ground spitting dirt around and trying to empty my mouth with my hooves. The laughing gradually disperses when they, and I, notice the earthpony three times my size bleeding heavily from his entire face and stumbling around.

Even my full body blow isn't enough to break his will though and he recovers quickly. His attack comes in a form of a fit of laughter.

"You... look... ridiculous! Missed breakfast?"

"Bleeeeeeeah, I give up. Without more real practice I can't beat you and I'm not hungry enough to continue," I admit.

"It wasn't that bad though. Still, I wouldn't advise you to teach these guys unless you want them to be excellent lawn-mowers."

I just look down at the ground when he says that. I failed.

He adds a small lifeboat when he sees my reaction.

"Or you can look through Blazing's things in his apartment in case he's got the instruction books and magazines still stashed somewhere. Whatever you choose, you have my approval."

"Real?"

"Yeah. You may be small and physically weak but that kick made me see stars inside Luna's room. Don't teach the unicorns that though, I really don't want to see recruits lined up with their horns stuck in the ground."

I grin at the image and, still sitting, turn to the recruits.

"Soooo... does anypony want to join after seeing me get horribly mauled?"

They all do, if only for the amusement value, which cheers me up immensely and heeding Heavy's advice I begin doing standard exercises with 'my' new group.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

"Okay guys, we're done for now. I don't know if I'll be able to make it this afternoon so if you end up here alone just repeat what we' did but twice with longer breaks. See ya later."

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am."

They really are a disciplined bunch when they want to. Blaze did an excellent job.

There is one more duty waiting for me and I'm not sure I can do it. I have to tell Blaze's family about his death. I go through his personal file.

"32 Solaris Street, Manehatten."

Further look at the file sends shivers down my spine as I get to the names of Blazing's parents. Even I know those... from my parents.

"Blinding Light, leader of the Order of Silver Sun and a well-known unicorn supremacist. Well, he can't be as bad as dad said, right?"

"Mother... mother... Precious Gift. That one also rings a bell."

It does. While not as respected as her husband, Precious gift is a known earthpony historian and one of very few civillians with full access to the royal Canterlot library.

"Wow how did you guys make somepony like Blaze?"

The final listed family member is one I've actually met, well... seen, before. Searing Light, Blaze's older brother, is a renowned soldier serving directly under prince Shining Armor now in the Crystal Empire. Also, on my hotness scale, he is just a short step behind the prince himself. Somehow the image of Blaze doesn't fit with the others, was he adopted or something? Well, that doesn't matter now, does it? Still, I don't want to get in contact with Blinding Light unprepared so I decide to just visit Blaze's aparment to look for some martial arts manuals and then ask Void whether he has any tips on dealing with a batpony-hating, highborne, Celestia-worshipping fanatic.

Comments

[Anonymous Critic]

Well, next chapter is gonna be interesting, that's for sure.

[Nameless Narrator]

9239535
That can't be healthy.

[WARGAMES]

9239535
Yeah The exersize in mangage ment wavs amzinf

[JazzyWaffles]

Delayed reaction, but this song makes me think of Void and/or Blazing coming back

[JazzyWaffles]

9239535
I couldn't stand being confused by the 3 buggo fics any longer and started from square one. I'm somehow MORE confused now.