Imbalanced

by Nameless Narrator

The Worst Two Days Ever: Betrayed

[Blazing's Entry]

I'm writing this at home, thinking about today and still livid about how irresponsible Choking was. Perhaps I could relieve some stress with a large 'Magnum XL' rubber sex-toy which I got from Heavy Hoof as a joke?

I've never used it before and being impaled on an oversized lamp post might not be as fun as it might appear at first... so probably not.

A bottle of Rotgut? Fighting the world, one 'glug' at a time. Somehow I don't feel like drinking and if I remember the effect of hard liquor and energy pills mixed together correctly then my brain will try to leave via ears anyway.

Might not be a bad thing? Nah... I don't feel like dying yet.

Although I wouldn't be the one cleaning the mess.

Buck it, I promised Choking to take over her night shift. Blowing my head up can wait.

I hate you, Chokey... I really do.

[End Entry]

---

Despite my training session not starting for at least ten minutes, my recruits are already standing at attention when I enter the training grounds. The reason for their nervousness becomes apparent soon as a grey earthpony with light blue mane reveals himself. A bloodthirsty grin appeares on his face when he notices me.

"Hello there, sargeant Light," Rising Thunder greets me without any friendliness in his smile. Apparently me beating up his daughter yesterday will bite me in the ass now, who would have guessed?

"What do you want, sargeant Thunder?" I imitate him, putting emphasis on Thunder.

"I was just asking your guys some questions about the training yesterday."

"If you want some tips, you can just come ask me."

Rising notices the grins on my unicorns' faces and scowls at me.

"Speaking of which, I called my group here a bit earlier than usual to give them some pointers so how do you feel about a rematch?"

I look at the group of earthponies who look more harrassed than usual. Knowing Rising's aggressive nature I feel a bit sorry for them. Whatever the earthpony trainer means by 'giving them some pointers' left them in pretty bad shape. Still, after yesterdays' results I doubt one day could make a difference. If one Rising's lesson can make his ponies win then he deserves his own religion.

"I don't have a problem with that but your earthponies look really tired."

He leans down a depressingly long way to whisper into my ear.

"Don't underestimate us earthponies, bug. Even if my guys go down, your group will see what a worthless hack you really are when I beat you to the ground and piss on your head."

Why does he hate me so much? Is it only because of the changeling-unicorn thing?

"Are you threatening me or trying to get me to bed?" I use my version of Choking's icebreaker.

Fuming, Rising Thunder raises his voice so everypony can hear his challenge.

"All I'm hearing is that you don't want to fight unless it's against a little girl. Buuut I understand it's difficult to find somepony your size among stallions."

Honestly, I'm more bored than angry so if he somehow kicks my butt it will be over soon at least.

"Let's get this over with then."

"Perfect. Group, get to positions! Whoever loses their duel is cleaning the latrines tonight!"

Rising's latrine threat works wonders again. I think all drill sargeants dread the grim future when recruits find out the truth during their orientation day. If the recruits are at least a bit interested then today will be something to enjoy, watching two experts fight seriously is something they might not see ever again. The weak clatter of wooden practice weapons proves to me they are just faking it to watch us get started. I levitate a practice sword while Rising picks up a spear. The practice spears don't have pointy ends but end up in a pink pom-pom which stings like blazes if it bruises you.

"Picking a weapon where all action happens as far away from you as possible and decorating it with pink, fluffy end. I guess we know now who wears the laced panties on this battleground," I taunt him. There is no reason not to enjoy the practice.

He doesn't fall for it and his answer comes in form of a punch which surprises me and connects before I can even partially harden my armor. The second of concussion is enough for somepony of his caliber to stand up on his hind legs, spin the spear around his body and slam me hard to the side with enough force to send me flying.

It is like getting hit by a full laden ox cart but I get up quickly and breathe deeply to make the pain go away. I answered in kind though and my sword flew and hit Rising straight in the stomach. If this was a real fight then I would have won right here and now. Wooden weapons are just what we trainers get because corpses are chronically incapable of learning. That's proven by science.

Rising is propping himself up by his spear making an easy target so I charge to kick him while 'slashing' at his legs from behind with my sword. I misread him completely and try to make the best of a terrible situation by spinning in the air after he assumes an anti-charger position with one end of the spear in the ground and the other aiming at me. My small frame saves me and my spin ends only with a green gash in my side. I mentally kick myself for charging an enemy with a long, sharp stick.

Rising's intentions become clear when he stabs the ground where I was rolling a second ago and stomps hard at my escape path. He wants to kill me and call it a training accident. What is driving him I don't know but the breakfast gave me enough energy not to care and just try to win at all cost. I levitate a second sword and trip him with it while slamming him hard in the head with my first one. I have to risk not being able to move but two hard, wooden sticks should be enough to protect me.

Rising is good though. As he approaches the ground he still manages to swing, aiming directly at my face.

I dodge... somehow I can move. I CAN MOVE! For the first time I can move and control both weapons at the same time. I begin laughing happily at the realization and begin jumping around while taking a lazy swing at Rising. The gaping wound in my side doesn't bother me despite it still bleeding and not healing. Drunk on victory and cheers of the recruits I offer a hoof to help Rising get up.

He grabs it and looks me in the eyes. After a second he releases his grip and shouts.

"I thought so. You are a junkie as well as a drunk!"

"What?" I have no idea.

"Don't deny it. What you just did is impossible, the wound doesn't even slow you and your pupils are dilated so much I'm surprised you can even see properly."

"I don't know what you mean."

"I mean that you are getting booted from the guard when I tell the others. Choking may have saved your sorry ass when you were just drinking but this time you're done. Recruits, get a last look at this wreck! Drugs are strictly prohibited in the guard and you should never stoop to a level where you need them to prove yourself against newbies."

I just stand there and try to think. It makes sense now, the sudden burst of energy despite being starved on the pony side and hungry even on the changeling side. Thinking back I remember Choking at the gym. The speed...

She's been using pep pills from time to time to deal with her shifts after wild nights. She must have spiked my drink this morning to make me agree to her dumb request and overdone the dosage. That little manipulative bitch. I mean she's a friend but what the heck? This is WAY too much!

I'm not going to make excuses though. The effects were quite obvious so I should have noticed. Admitting being on drugs won't help though and neither will lying. This is a well-founded case so Rising can just call princess Luna because I have the 'luck' to be a Nightguard.

Damn you, Chokey! What have you done?

I'm not going to tell anypony. I don't want to ruin her reputation. My job doesn't matter.

"Do what you want, Rising. Recruits, lesson is over! Do your exercises if you want to," I shout and without looking back I stride towards the castle and my office.

Time to do some paperwork and hope that Rising will just blackmail me or enjoy thinking about me stewing in my sweat instead of just informing the upper crust about it. Two hours tick away so perhaps Rising was just blowing smoke. My recruits can take care of themselves for one lesson so I decide not to show my face at the gardens and just go home.

I think I deserve a bit of rest before the library patrol.

Comments

[Anonymous Critic]

She's been using pep pills from time to time to deal with her shifts after wild nights. She must have spiked my drink this morning to make me agree to her dumb request and overdone the dosage. That little manipulative bitch. I mean she's a friend but what the heck? This is WAY too much!

CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!