Reconciling with the sun
They had been walking for hours and the sun would soon be upon them. This distressed Twilight, this quiet night she had spent with Rainbow Dash had been the longest stretch of peace that the couple had experienced since they became a couple. She knew that at any moment the peace could be broken, one wrong move, a single stroke of bad luck and it could be all over. She looked up to the clear night sky, beautiful, sparkling stars dotted the sky filling Twilight with a calming sense of insignificance. With out any light pollution she could make out every star, she could even see the arm of the milky-way. She pressed her flank against her marefriend's. Billions of light years, trillions of stars, and an entire universe of movement. Our problems, and even our lives don't amount to much in all of it do they? But still, even so, nothing seems as important as her, and nothing feels as amazing as being with her. Even compared to all the wonder of the universe, love is still amazing.
“Rainbow Dash?” She pressed closer against Dash, who in return rested her head against Twilight's.
“What's up Twi?”
“When this is all over, we should get a house overlooking the ocean.”
“What brought that up?”
“If we lived by the ocean, we would have a really clear view of the stars and of course the ocean. I've never lived anywhere but inland in Equestria. The idea of waking up to the smell and sound of the sea really appeals to me and falling asleep under the stars on the beach just sounds so romantic.” Dash smiled fondly at the dreaminess in her voice.
“When this is all over I'll build you a house by the sea, I'll have a window right above the bed so we can look at the stars while we're falling asleep every night.”
“That would be amazing, we should live in a cloud house like yours.”
“We don't have to do that. I'd be okay with any kind of place, as long as you were there when I came home.” Twilight's heart fluttered.
“Oh Dashie.” She nuzzled Dash cheek before giving her a light kiss, Dash blushed.
“Dashie, when did you start liking me as more than a friend?” That gave Dash pause for thought.
“I thought we weren't going to ask any more awkward questions?” She said nervously in an attempt to stall for time until she could think of an exact moment.
“Is it awkward? I'm just curious that's all. I mean, what is there to really like about me for somepony like you? I know I'm not all the attractive, I am smart but would that really be enough to go against the norm like you did and choose me instead of a stallion?”
“Don't say things like that!” Dash snapped, her out burst made twilight take a step away from her in surprise.
“Twilight, don't talk like that. Look, I can't place an exact time when I fell in love with you. It probably started from the first time we met. When you introduced me to Daring Do, or when you brought me back to myself after we fought Discord, or the times when I gave you flying lessons, I enjoyed every moment with you. Over time, I just knew I had fallen in love with you. Don't say all you have going for you is how smart you are cause you're way more than that! Your beautiful Twi, not like Rarity or Fluttershy but a much deeper kind of beautiful. Like, you're really attractive and everything but you also have something amazing about you. Instead of hating me for who I am, you took the time to really think. It didn't mater what everyone else thought because you know what's right and you have this amazing conviction to follow your heart. That's what I love about you, you have an attractive body, an amazing mind and a beautiful heart. So please don't sell you’re self short like that again, it hurts me to hear you putting your self down like that.” Dash looked pleadingly at Twilight and she could feel the genuine feelings in her words. Again they stopped, Twilight stared at her, unable to come up with a response through the haze of incredibly happy, warm feelings and slight feeling of guilt. The sky began to light up with a slight glow of morning's first light.
“Dashie... I.” She started, she felt tears of joy building in her eyes. Dashie, that's the nicest that anypony has ever said to me.
“Dashie, I love you.” Dash's heart soared at those words. It was the first time Twilight had spoken them outright. Dash leaned towards twilight, wrapping her hooves around her neck she pulled towards her, locking lips in a soft yet passionate embrace. She pulled back, still close enough to feel each other's breath. Brushing Twilight's mane away from her eyes she softly brushed her cheek with her hoof.
“I love you to Twilight.” They looked deeply into each other's eyes. Then, Dash noticed something behind Twilight, illuminated by the slowly growing glow of the morning that took her attention.
“Twilight.”
“What is it Dashie?”
“Follow me.” Dash grabbed her hoof, Twilight followed as the turned around, behind Twilight was a tall hill, devoid of trees.
“Dashie, where are we going? Appaloosa is the other way.” She said, still being led by the hood by dash up the steep hill. Dash released her hoof, she turned back to Twilight with an excited smile.
“Trust me, this is going to be good. Come on.” She trotted up the hill, Twilight sighed. Smiling, she followed her marefriend up the hill. She finally made it to the top to see Dash sitting in the center, looking at the horizon.
“Twilight, come over here and sit next to me.” Curious, Twilight obeyed and sat down beside Dash on the cool moist grass and looked to the horizon. It was beautiful.
The sun was just peaking out over the horizon, the very first beams of sunlight ignited the few scattered clouds into warm shades of pink and burning oranges in perfect contrast to the cool, soft shades of light blue of the sky that matched her lovers coat. The rays streaked across the sky in beautiful mesmerizing patterns, glistening off the dew that formed on the grass and leaves and made the low hanging mist that blanketed the forest floor glimmer with white light. Twilight watched in awe as the sun slowly rose, painting the sky with different patterns and more vibrant shades every minute. She leaned against Rainbow Dash, resting her head on her neck and wrapping her tail around her lover who in return did the same and rested her head on Twilight's. Together they watched the sun rise for the next hour. This to Twilight, was a moment of pure happiness and peace.
“Twilight, tonight, let's watch the sun set to. The weather is going to be beautiful tonight and there's a trick I want to show you.”
“Sure, I would love to. Dashie, this was beautiful. I- to be honest, I was starting to forget how beautiful and life giving the sun could be. When I looked at it before, I could only think of Celestia and It made me uneasy.”
“I know. So did I.” They watched the sun for a few minutes before heading towards Appaloosa, walking, tails intertwined and in perfect step. The sun at their backs casting their dark shadows in front of them...
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1. I see things are progressing along with this fan-fiction (saw this in the Latest Updates list whilst checking other titles).
2. As I advised you earlier, you should try taking the [time + effort] in increasing your word-count per chapter. Cerulean Voice is correct in your improving yourself by being more detailed and descriptive, which goes hand-in-hand with a hearty word-count per chapter.
3. Stormgnome is also correct, if you are keeping the Tragedy tag, then it means things will likely end badly/poorly for the Protagonists.
However... (and this is why I am once again stopping by to Comment)
It is important to know that Tragedy means no happy ending for ANYONE in the story. This means even the Bad Guys (&/or Antagonists) get no happy ending &/or victory either.
If you are going for the "Bad Guys win" &/or "Good Guys all die" angle(s), then a Dark tag is more accurate to what you want to use. Keep in mind that Dark does not mean that you "have" to have the "Bad Guys win" &/or the "Good Guys all die," it simply opens the option for those routes. There are plenty of Dark stories that end with a happy or bright ("dawn breaks after the long night") ending.
I felt I should point this out for you (maxxxxxx), so if you need to change to the more appropriate/accurate story Tag(s).
So when writing a Tragedy, remember these two simplified rules...
~ 1. Everybody suffers.
~ 2. Nobody wins.
Hope this clarifies for you.
3680016 but what did you think of the story its self?
also, without wishing to spoil, i want to know, if not everyone dies but nobody gets a "happy" ending it would still be tragedy correct?
3680024...
4. Correct. Tragedy does not require the death of characters, though doing so is the most common, most direct, and easiest literary method to use. But even if you do not kill off characters, all among the cast, both Protagonists & Antagonists, Good Guys & Bad Guys, within a Tragedy should end up eating dust (metaphorically &/or literally), and the feeling of "We lost... Even if we 'won', we lost."
A Tragedy often ends in suffering and death, for all parties within the story. But only the former is the hard-requirement, the latter is more variable.
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
5. As I already said before, your fan-fiction is not my particular cup of tea. I actually have not read your later chapters since I last commented (or now for that matter). But that does not mean I cannot provide some general literary guidance.
3680061 cool, thanks for the help. I was wondering if i should change the tag but with the ending i have in mind it should still fit. As always thanks bunches for reading and for the advice
interesting fact... the 20000th word in this story is "Dash"
i was wondering, growing up in a baptist family and all, if this is how you view the way others view gays and lesbians? i was always told to tolerate and accept these people.
3685535 my family is catholic, and ya... not to fond of homosexuals in my family unfortunately. But this story was mostly inspired by what's going on in Russia right now and some things that have happened recently in America. But it's cool that not all religious family's are like mine though most of my family is over it now, for me at least.
Nice little relaxation chapter before the rather foreboding ending? Sweet.
Steadily more obvious signs of improvement? Sweet.
Shoutout from a random dude in agreement with my advice? Sah-weet!
I've had a pretty good day. Hope you're well.
3736868 thanks for reading, this story is one i consider a "pet" story, though it's been on hold while i finish the current one I'm working on. Anyway, ya reading it again i can definitely see a difference in only a short time. I credit that to readers like you and cerulean voice for giving me a lot great advice
anyway read on, can't wait for your reaction to chapter 3
3737094 sigh, okay that i have no excuse for.
though i don't remember doing it in that which makes up a rainbow. Anyway please enjoy the rest hopefully annoyance free
If I had a D'aw meter, this story would have broken it. Several times over. Then sent the broken pieces to the sun. Then the sun would have imploded, creating a super massive black hole and engulfing all of our solar system.
In other, less weird words, that was truly amazing.
Faved, liked, and since you have officially earned a like on two separate stories, a follow. Congratulations!
I have nothing more to say to this. yes, the writing could use some work, and I see quite a few missing capitals, but reading this, and even comparing it to the other works of your that I've read, I can see massive improvements, and you can only continue to improve. This story has it's problems, yes, (pacing is a bit off at times) but it's nothing that I would take more then a single point off for. Everything is so close to perfect... the pacing for the relationship and their conversations is amazing, and the dreams are always exciting and I'm constantly wondering about them, and what Luna knows about them. I want to know so much more about this story and I want to read so much more. You truly have a talent for hooking people.
Anyway, I see now that your other story has updated. I'm gonna go read that one now, Cya over there with another comment.
3737275 Awesome! I'm so glad you like this story and thanks for the watch
This particular story is nearly over. (about 5 chapters left) so i hope, when i have the capacity again, i will pick up on all my stories again. And please enjoy the update on my other story.
Also, you wont be disappointed with the ending of this story... It will be truly fantastic
loved it as always
5 out of 5 mustaches for you
Here is the review courtesy of The Pleasant Commentator and Review Group.
3738886 How will you ever allot enough time to fix that error!
"alot" is not a word. Unless of course you're referring to the animal. This is what I'm talking about.
4040283 i have been made aware of this, once i am in a better position to do edits i will take care of it
sorry for detracting from my story with that though
update soon?
4175210 I'll be updating soon
sorry, i have been unable to write but im working on another story at the moment. After i finish the next chapter (hopefully tonight) I'm going to pick up here right where i left off promise 
4/5 mustaches for you!
But I got rid of one for grammar! Please work on that!