I hate Mondays

by Malaggar00

The action begins (somewhat)

After a few seconds of pure cloud obliteration

“So what's my possibility of getting hired?”
“I’d say around 100%.”
“Huh.”
“What?”
“Something was bugging me since we got out of the boutique.”
“What.”
“In my world the thought of ponies were as equines. But you are homo sapien in appearance.” There was a brief moment of silence where this statement hung in the air.

“What?”
“You look human.” Sasha said.
“Except for the wings, cutie mark on your collar bone and.” He said peering around Rainbow before adding. “Tail.”
“Well that’s how we ponies look and we can't change that. Except probably for unicorns.”
“That’s another thing that confuses me.”
“What?”
“The whole lack of a horn thing.”
“What? Unicorns don’t have horns.”
“Then how do they perform magic?”
“They have a mark on their dominant fore arm.”

“Okaayyyyy.” Said Sasha slowly turning away. Spotting a cloud that hadn’t been scourged. Calmly creating a gun and fired it, dispelling the cloud.

“So what time is it?” Said Sasha looking at his watch. Which seemed to be working normally.

Rainbow looked to the clock tower.
“It's about 3:11.” Said Rainbow, looking over Sasha’s shoulder at his watch.
“That’s odd my watch says its 7:00.” Said Sasha an eyebrow raised. He raised his arm so he could see his watch and the clock tower.

“Oh shit.” Said Sasha in a low, terrified voice.
“What?” Asked Rainbow.
“I’m not in sync with the flow of time.”
“Meaning?”

“Time is moving at a different pace for me than it is for you and all the other inhabitants of Equestria.” Said Sasha turning to reveal an expression of concern.
“I’ll be dead in around 45 years equestrian time. Or 90 years to me.”
“Is there anyway to stop that?”

“It might take a while for my cells to sync with the rate that time flows in this dimension. Or it’ll take a day Equestrian time of me being awake straight. It might be something like what we call in my world ’jet lag’ kinda sorta not. Hopefully Pinkie’s party will last till morning. Failing that I’ll need to speed up my perception of time, via adrenaline rush. So anyways.” Said Sasha his look of concern becoming a sly grin.

“As they say ’time flies when you’re having fun.’” He sprinted towards the edge of the town. Towards the cliff that stood by the north overlooking the settlement. ’this can’t end well.’ Rainbow thought before following with a concerned expression on her face.

Meanwhile in the bushes not even five feet away.

“Sir i’ve spotted two locals.” Said Charles into his radio.
“Did they spot you?” Inquired the captain.
“Negative. But sir.”
“Yes?”
“They’re not quite human.”
“What do you mean?”
“They had wings and one has unnatural hair and a marking on her collarbone. The other one looked almost exactly human except for the wings.”
“Where are they now?”
“Headed for the overwatch.”
“Rodger. Repositioning.” Replied the captain.

At the overwatch.

“Heading towards the overwatch.”
“Rodger repositioning.” Said the captain, deactivating the radio. Signalling to the rest of the squad to pack up and move to another site. They got up and sprinted toward to the path leading up a nearby mountain.

Just as they were almost at the path Jenkins tripped. His rifle butt slamming into the side of his head.
Which would’ve been fine... If he hadn’t reflexively clenched his fists to stop himself from yelling out. Accidentally firing a shot from his rifle. Which flew and hit the large, cracked cliff wall. Which shattered into stones and small boulders. Which came thundering down towards them.
“Oh shit.” Whispered Jenkins, watching as an avalanche of rocks came hurtling towards him. Thankfully his end came quickly. The first boulder came smashing into his temple. Killing him instantly.
“NO JENKINS!!” Yelled the captain. His voice drowned out by the hurricane of rocks thundering past them.

Meanwhile at the cliff edge.

Sasha suddenly turned from the edge of the cliff as he heard a sound that rattled through him.
“Oh shit.” Said Sasha.
“What?”
“Tell me this isn’t an avalanche zone?” Asked Sasha turning towards the mountain.
“Yea.” Said Rainbow. Following his gaze.
“Oh my Celestia.” Said Rainbow.
“Thought so.” Said Sasha. Grabbing her bodily and leapt off the cliff. They only just made it as the avalanche rolled off the cliff at high enough speed to send them hurtling into the air. After the adrenaline fuelled Pegasus and human. As they flew Sasha positioned himself in such a way as to protect Rainbow. Just as a particularly large boulder came hurtling towards them.

“Oh shit.” Said Sasha.
“HEAD DOWN!!” Yelled Sasha moving his head. ’no not yet.’ He thought. ’I won’t die now. I can’t let myself die or her die.’ He was about to flip when a slight boulder shaped intrusion occurred.
Just as they were about to hit the ground Sasha concentrated generating a semicircle shaped shield around them just before they hit the ground.

It was dark. That’s all he could tell. He looked around left and right but there was nothing. He was just floating in limbo. When he saw something. It was a small light that was growing bigger, and bigger, and bigger. To the point that it was the size of a man. Then suddenly it split apart into another form which also split. Until there were five people in front of him. His expression changed into a look of surprise and delight.
“Mother. Father. Josh. Alex. Danielle.” He said relived.
“What are you doing here?” He asked.

Suddenly he heard a voice from what seemed to be miles away.
“Wake up! Wake up Sasha!” He barely reacted.
“Wake up!” This time it was louder and clearer.
“Wake up!” Suddenly he felt a hard slap across his face followed by pressure on his mouth followed by pressure on his chest.

He woke up coughing up dust.
“Are you okay?”
“Was someone kissing me?” He asked wildly.
As his eyes became accustomed to the current light level he noticed Rainbow’s face was bright red. Almost enough to see by.
Rainbow promptly slapped him across the face. Hard.

Meanwhile outside the impact zone.

A large group of ponies were gathered around the area where the large boulder landed.
“What happened?” Asked Twilight pushing to the head of the group.
“Twi!” Yelled applejack pushing herself to her friends side.
“What?!” Asked Twilight exasperated.
“Ah saw Rainbow and the new guy head this way.” Said Applejack.
“Oh Celestia.” Said Twi.

The bolder creaked then split into quarters. Then crumbled. Dust flying up. Obscuring Twi’s field of vision.
“Good thing that was sand stone or we would’ve been dead.” Came a voice from the impact site. A figure rose from the dust cloud. It was tall, slim, short haired, had wings, but had no visible tail. Then another figure rose up. This one was also tall, muscular, with a tail, wings and some bust. Suddenly there was a gust as one figure flapped their wings. Revealing the spectacle. Rainbow stood beside a stallion. He was a head taller and had appeared to have not shaved for a week.
“Wha- how-. I mean who are you?” Asked Twilight. Stammering.
*What the hell, might as well see how far the truth gets me.* Thought Sasha.
“My name is Sasha Nicholls and i’m a human.” And there was dead silence.

Author's Note:

I apologise for the major lateness of this chapter. I let you guys down and I hope to regain your viewing interest, however I will continue to do my usual method of writing drafts before publishing but with more careful editing and better pacing, seeing as this story so far has a similar pace as trying to boil the Pacific Ocean with a kilogram of napalm and a single match. Hopefully this chapter will be the last crap one that I write. Should anyone have any comments or advice for this project I will accept and try to incorporate it should it seem appropriate to this story or something I find interesting. I will give credit in the author's notes or the beginning of the chapter/section where the ideas/advice is given.