"Hey Max, this section seems weird to me, care helping me re-write it? OR at least give me your opinion on it?" Im by no standards qualified to give opinions to creative writers suck as yourself and MadMaxtheBlack... but here is mine... I Think the pacing could be better. I mean Everything seems to happen straight away and other than the test everyone seems almost indifferent about this whole situation (exept when Richard Thinks "I only hoped it would work" and when he is complaining to Max). Also this sentance: "Thankfully Twilight had happened by and managed to reorganize it all" is awkward to read and should be changed... into something like "Thankfully Twilight had happened to be nearby and managed to reorganize it all" or "Thankfully Twilight had been there to reorganize it all" (or something but donĀ“t quote me on this because my first language is not English). Anyway I hope that you keep doing what you do (MOAR? ) and I would also wish you well and hope you have a good day .
5198851 I should make a folder labeled "Dead" and put this story in it. Then, when you eventually update it, I'll move it to a folder called "Resurrected", only to move it back again within a week.
5200897 i was trying to make a funny about the main character trying to think. no implications of him being stupid or 'slow', just that it is a little out of the norm for him.
5201357 So how are you doing? Because I'm a potatoe!
5202233 So you're saying he's stupid. Humph, now I'm offended for him. People these days. No one has any respect any more, why when I was your age I was a gentleman on the internet, pointing out mistakes left and right in intentionally insulting ways.
5269306 Not really, mostly just minor plot point changes. At most it may make some things confusing, as I changed the timeline of Rochard's 'incarceration' in the science division. Mostly it was cosmetic changes.
5380459 Thank you for explaining why you don't like the story. It's much better than just disliking it and walking away (helps me improve).
If I may, I'd like to give you my angle for some of these points.
First of all, I agree with you he should have tried some way of communication, but he is simultaneously confused and not thinking clearly. For the entire period in the science area of Canterlot he was subjected to different tests and the like to determine what makes him so different (including the life threads)
At the end of every day he is exhausted, and he eats the food rather than doing something else with it. You have to realize he's somewhat pragmatic... I think that's the right word ...about his situation, and has a jaded outlook thanks to the impossibility of magic that he sees and affects him every day.
Plus, while he is a college student, he's also a college student, and we're not the most intelligent bunch.
As for Blueblood, he's not evil. In fact, te characterization for him in this story is identical to the original Your Human and You by madmaxtheblack.
If you haven't read Your Human and You, I'd highly recommend it, regardless of your views on my story. The first couple chapters may be difficult to get through, but it's worth it in the end.
Hope you have a wonderful day and I am sorry to have bored you with my character. Hopefully I can strive to be better in the future.
Interesting AU on MadMax's verse, and a fair bit of originality with the character as well. I could see those kinds of things being in a reenactment group of sorts, though I don't think there's any out my way sadly enough.
Good effort on both yours and your editor's part to merge events together seamlessly as well.
My only thought at this point is, 'Where will it go from here?' I sincerely doubt it will follow the 'cannon' timeline much longer.
I have an extensive ending planned out, along with no less than two more story arcs. Sadly, we have to wait for the fighting ring in order for events to really start diverging. If only I had more time to write. Sigh.
5410619 Trust me, it's going to be huge, and with an emotional kicker that will either make people love me or hate me.... Once o get there that is... If I get there...
5525728 lol, sadly no, I'm just a wannabe, although I am proficient in the art of unarmored dueling, past that, I can't fight ****. But a decent place on the battlefield would be a dream come true. Anyways... READING TIME!
I think you forgot to do do a double check after you asked him that.
Something wrong with the Black paper?
The plot thickens! And hopefully with a good .
5193067 5193025 I sent him a message about it, but it appears he published then logged off.
Well, that's not at all ominous. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
So this is what happens behind the scenes, huh? It's also a reason why I use Gdocs.
5193025
5193067
5193189
5193094
I have no idea what any of you are talking about.
HEY LOOK A RUBBER CHICKEN!
5193274 A Rubber Chicken!? You know what that means... i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5185787136/hD3E1F66B/
"Hey Max, this section seems weird to me, care helping me re-write it? OR at least give me your opinion on it?"
Im by no standards qualified to give opinions to creative writers suck as yourself and MadMaxtheBlack... but here is mine...
I Think the pacing could be better. I mean Everything seems to happen straight away and other than the test everyone seems almost indifferent about this whole situation (exept when Richard Thinks "I only hoped it would work" and when he is complaining to Max).
Also this sentance: "Thankfully Twilight had happened by and managed to reorganize it all" is awkward to read and should be changed... into something like "Thankfully Twilight had happened to be nearby and managed to reorganize it all" or "Thankfully Twilight had been there to reorganize it all" (or something but donĀ“t quote me on this because my first language is not English).
Anyway I hope that you keep doing what you do (MOAR? ) and I would also wish you well and hope you have a good day .
5193274 This not fun talk about a Rubber Chicken...i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/016/551/1181595555.gif?1318992465
I'm just happy to see some updates, It's been quite a while.
5193520
No idea what you are referencing...
*casually sweeps evidence under a rug*
Damnit, does this mean I have to remove this story from my 'crap that will never be updated' folder, but that's effort!
5198167
Well boo de who. Honestly readers. I can't believe people will just insult someone like that on their own story. What are you, a human?
5198851 I should make a folder labeled "Dead" and put this story in it. Then, when you eventually update it, I'll move it to a folder called "Resurrected", only to move it back again within a week.
welp,
media.giphy.com/media/Pch8FiF08bc1G/giphy.gif
media0.giphy.com/media/O82d1XlAUIxxu/giphy.gif
there goes the neighborhood. he dun started to thunk.
5200266
What?
5198851 I happen to be a certain type of potato actually... The more ya know
5200897
i was trying to make a funny about the main character trying to think.
no implications of him being stupid or 'slow', just that it is a little out of the norm for him.
kek
>The joke
>Doctor Song
Okay, while you make quite a few grammar mistakes, this one was pretty funny.
Also yes, yes, I know, RP, go do it, shush. I was going to do one yesterday but something came up. I'll see about tonight.
Also, do you even use your Skype any more? You're never on. At all.
5201357
So how are you doing? Because I'm a potatoe!
5202233
So you're saying he's stupid. Humph, now I'm offended for him. People these days. No one has any respect any more, why when I was your age I was a gentleman on the internet, pointing out mistakes left and right in intentionally insulting ways.
5202756
Well hurry up already.
5203007
...............
i cant tell if you are serious or not...
now i cant keep witty comebacks coming.
5203067
*intentionally insulting witty comeback*
5204548
*righteous indignation and RAEG*
5208850
*cool and collected retort*
5194110 *casually lifts rug*
still, i cant believe i caught up so fast. at least its at the end of a story arc, and not in a high-tension area.
5210931
End of a story arc? Are you crazy? This is actually oatmeal!
wait, I said that wrong... I meant, this is the beginning of one.
5211699 oh, is it now? ive always been impassive about oatmeal- wait i said that wrong. i meant im so excited and/or impatient for the next chapter!
the end of one thing is but the beginning of another.
~You Heard Nothing
5211789
Sorry what? Did I hear something?
5213117 no. no u did not.
5216056
Huh. Must have been my imagination. *pointedly ignores arrow in forehead and nearby dead ally*
5217281
That reference... Awesome.
So, question: the rewriten chapters; is it enough I'd have to reread them (not that I mind)?
5269306
Not really, mostly just minor plot point changes. At most it may make some things confusing, as I changed the timeline of Rochard's 'incarceration' in the science division. Mostly it was cosmetic changes.
5343875
It is good to meet you. Be you troth or otherwise?
Description has me sold, might read it later.
Surprise, I'm reading it now.
5380459
Thank you for explaining why you don't like the story. It's much better than just disliking it and walking away (helps me improve).
If I may, I'd like to give you my angle for some of these points.
First of all, I agree with you he should have tried some way of communication, but he is simultaneously confused and not thinking clearly. For the entire period in the science area of Canterlot he was subjected to different tests and the like to determine what makes him so different (including the life threads)
At the end of every day he is exhausted, and he eats the food rather than doing something else with it. You have to realize he's somewhat pragmatic... I think that's the right word ...about his situation, and has a jaded outlook thanks to the impossibility of magic that he sees and affects him every day.
Plus, while he is a college student, he's also a college student, and we're not the most intelligent bunch.
As for Blueblood, he's not evil. In fact, te characterization for him in this story is identical to the original Your Human and You by madmaxtheblack.
If you haven't read Your Human and You, I'd highly recommend it, regardless of your views on my story. The first couple chapters may be difficult to get through, but it's worth it in the end.
Hope you have a wonderful day and I am sorry to have bored you with my character. Hopefully I can strive to be better in the future.
5395395
*watches you spaz around.*
Should I... Uh... Call a doctor or something? Unless this is normal?
Just remember, you are your own individual.
Interesting AU on MadMax's verse, and a fair bit of originality with the character as well. I could see those kinds of things being in a reenactment group of sorts, though I don't think there's any out my way sadly enough.
Good effort on both yours and your editor's part to merge events together seamlessly as well.
My only thought at this point is, 'Where will it go from here?' I sincerely doubt it will follow the 'cannon' timeline much longer.
5403050
I have an extensive ending planned out, along with no less than two more story arcs. Sadly, we have to wait for the fighting ring in order for events to really start diverging. If only I had more time to write. Sigh.
5410590
Sounds good to me. Patience and a bit of stubbornness will see you through nicely.
5410619
Trust me, it's going to be huge, and with an emotional kicker that will either make people love me or hate me.... Once o get there that is... If I get there...
5410732
You should be able to get there, just take a left at Albuquerque....
lol, wow, Richard and me have the same interests, I'm gonna love pretending to be the main character
5524816
Is that a fellow SCAdian I see? Or perhaps one of the LARP peasants from dagorhir? Either way, welcome and enjoy the story.
(No offense to anyone from Dagorhir, I'm just poking fun)
5525728 lol, sadly no, I'm just a wannabe, although I am proficient in the art of unarmored dueling, past that, I can't fight ****. But a decent place on the battlefield would be a dream come true.
Anyways... READING TIME!
5547530
HIW DARE YOU DEFILE MY STORY WITH SUCH BLASPHEMOUS FILTH! PRAISE SUNBUTT OR FACE THE WRATH OF HER GREAT PLOT OF JUSTICE!
5549575
Moonbutt>sunbutt.