All Dressed Up
"Now Granny, be reasonable!" Applejack's voice rose as the elderly pony tried to drape the dusty dress over her back.
"You be reasonable! Here I am, makin' sure y'all don't have a foal out of wedlock, the least you could do is be 'preciative."
Applejack rolled her eyes at Granny Smith, trying to move away without knocking her over. "We're both girls, Granny. It don't work that way."
Granny Smith looked over skeptically at Rarity, the unicorn rendered speechless by the argument unfolding in front of her - or perhaps simply the atrociously out of fashion dress that her marefriend was being forced into. "Oh ponyfeathers. Your Auntie Seed said the same thing about foolin' around with that fancy feller from Canterlot, and look at that what got her."
"Uh, Formal Attire was a stallion, Granny."
"But how can you tell with unicorns?"
"I'm pretty sure I know," Applejack said dryly, drawing a chuckle from Granny Smith.
"I guess you're right. But all the more reason you two need to get hitched! You shouldn't be so sure if y'all weren't doin' somethin' you weren't supposed to be doin'."
Applejack's cheeks flushed as she stomped her hoof. "That ain't what I meant, Granny!"
"Then why is your fancy friend's mane all mussed up? I ain't never seen her lookin' like that before. I 'spect y'all musta had a mighty fine time to get yer manes all tangled up like that."
Rarity squeaked at that, using her magic to grasp her purple locks and try to bring them into a semblance of order, while Applejack laid her ears back, still blushing. "You're embarrassin' Rarity, Granny."
"Oh don't be silly, I'm embarassin' you," Granny Smith said, chuckling to herself. "At least y'all don't have straw stuck in your hair. That's the trouble with sneakin' off to the barn and forgettin' to bring a brush. I remember back when I was a filly..."
"I'll just go find pa's suit, then," Big Mac declared, the large stallion moving away from the table and slowly walking upstairs as Granny Smith continued her story. Applejack lowered her hat over her eyes, as if that could prevent her from hearing the older pony's story, while Rarity tried to distract herself from the story by fiddling with her hair with her magic without success.
"I need a brush!" Rarity declared, turning to leave before Granny Smith's voice cut her off.
"Oh no you don't! Big Mac! Grab Miss Rarity a brush while you're up there!"
"Eyup," came the faint voice from upstairs.
Granny Smith opened her mouth to start her story again, then paused. "Now where was I?"
"Uh... you were talkin' about..." Rarity knew the face that Applejack was making; this could only end in disaster if the earth pony kept talking.
"We were just talking about how wonderful the breakfast you were making smelled, and thinking it would be nice to eat before it got cold," Rarity cut in smoothly.
"We were?" Granny Smith blinked, then looked over to the stove. "I s'pose so. Easy to get distracted, what with the weddin' and all." She looked over at the pair of ponies. "Come on you two, get eatin'. Y'all got a long day ahead of ya."
Rarity and Applejack trotted over to the table as Granny Smith laid out the eggs and toast onto plates, carrying them over and setting them out on the table for them before she served herself. The unicorn smiled graciously as she used her magic to lift the toast and begin nibbling at it delicately, politely ignoring the way that the earth ponies were forced to eat without access to telekinesis.
"I found it," Big Mac said muffledly as he carried in a suit.
Rarity looked over at it and shook her head; while the suit was still in good condition - much better than the ratty dress Applejack was currently wearing - it did seem rather dusty. However, more to the point... "I'm afraid that suit may be a bit too small for you, dear."
"T'ain't for me," Big Mac said, setting it down on the counter.
"That's right. It's for you."
"What?" Rarity rounded on Granny Smith. "What do you mean, it's for me?"
"Just exactly what I said, young'un. Y'all are the groom, and besides, my dress wouldn't fit you proper."
"But I'm a lady!"
"Fingle fangle! If you were a lady y'all wouldn't be in this mess."
Rarity spoke firmly. "Granny Smith, I appreciate your hospitality and your... eagerness for me to join your family, but I am afraid that it is simply impossible for Applejack and I to get married this afternoon."
"What's that you say? You're sayin' you're gonna leave Applejack all alone and brokenhearted after takin' what you wanted?"
Rarity laid her ears back. "And what are you implying? Now listen here, you—"
"Hold your horses!" Applejack cut in. "Simmer down." She gestured with her hooves at Rarity, the unicorn pausing for a moment before leaning back. "What Rarity's tryin' to say is that we ain't ready to get hitched yet. We've barely been seein' each other for two weeks. I think she's a wonderful pony, but that don't mean we want to be together forever."
"Still testin' her out huh?" Granny Smith gave Applejack a broad wink. "I see what you're gettin' at there, missy. And here I thought she was the one corruptin' my little Apple." Granny Smith leaned around the table to prod Applejack in the shoulder with her hoof. "Don't think you can get out of your responsibilities neither!"
"Granny..."
"Now, where's your little sister? Apple Bloom! I need you to help me get this suit on your sister's wife!" Granny Smith paused, then called again. "Apple Bloom?" Another pause only silence answered. "Now where did that little filly get herself off to?"
***
Apple Bloom galloped into the clubhouse. "Girls!"
"Apple Bloom?" the pair chorused.
"Weren't you supposed to be back tomorrow?" Sweetie Belle tilted her head.
"We got back early. Ya see, Braeburn met this real nice- wait, that's not the point." Apple Bloom shook her head before pounding her hoof on the floor.
"What is it?" Scootaloo asked.
"Applejack is gonna get married!"
The fillies gasped in unison. "What?"
"When?"
"Who is she getting married to?"
"Your sister!" Apple Bloom declared triumphantly.
"What?" Sweetie Belle squeaked. "Rarity?"
"Yup!" Apple Bloom grinned. "They were putting on dresses and everything! Well, Applejack was; I think Rarity is gonna be wearin' my dad's suit."
"Rarity is going to be wearing a suit?" Sweetie Belle sounded skeptical.
"Well, my brother was lookin' for it when I snuck off. I just couldn't wait another minute to tell you girls!"
"Isn't this a little weird?" Scootaloo asked. "I mean, I hang out with Rainbow Dash like, all the time now. Well, a lot."
The others looked at her, making Scootaloo spread her wings defensively. "I mean, she's been super busy lately with Wonderbolts training and the whole Twilight becoming a princess thing, but we still hang out sometimes."
The other fillies kept looking at her expectantly, making the pegasus shift uncomfortably before speaking up a bit too loudly. "Anyway, she never told me anything about them getting married."
Apple Bloom shook her head. "I didn't know, either. I just found out this mornin' when we got back. I guess they were havin' a sleepover, and Rarity's mane was all messed up, and Granny Smith said they had to get married now!"
"I guess that makes sense," Sweetie Belle mused, putting a hoof up under her chin. "I did see them kissing last week."
Apple Bloom blinked. "You saw them kissing and you didn't tell us?"
"Well, yeah. Rarity said they were just practicing, but them getting married makes loads more sense!"
"You know what this means?" Apple Bloom said, putting her hooves on Sweetie Belle's.
"...We're going to be flower girls?" Sweetie Belle replied quizzically.
"We're gonna be sisters!" Apple Bloom began dancing with Sweetie Belle, who grinned and joined in.
"That's right," Sweetie Belle said. "Once two ponies are married, their sisters become sisters too!"
Scootaloo's ears dropped. "Oh, right, that." She looked away from the jubilant pair.
"Don't worry Scootaloo," Apple Bloom said, letting go of the unicorn. "We'll still be best friends!"
"And besides, they're going to need a lot of help for the wedding." Sweetie Belle chimed in. "I'm sure my sister would let you help."
"That's right! Maybe we could get our cutie marks being wedding planners!" Scootaloo perked up at the prospect.
"Of course! I hadn't even thought about that!" Apple Bloom grinned.
"When is the wedding, anyway?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"This afternoon!"
"What?"
"Y'all are gettin' really good at sayin' that together," Apple Bloom said, smiling.
"Thanks! We've been practicing," Scootaloo said proudly, puffing out her chest.
"We'd better hurry then!" Sweetie Belle said, galloping out of the clubhouse, her friends close on her heels.
"Wait!" called Scootaloo. "Do we know anything about planning a wedding?" The three crusaders slowed down.
"We were in a weddin'," Apple Bloom pointed out. "Does that count?"
"Yeah, but we didn't have to plan anything," Scootaloo protested.
"You remember the wedding though, right?" Sweetie Belle said.
Apple Bloom nodded her head. "It can't be too hard! There was cake!"
"And dancing," Scootaloo put in.
"Flowers!" Sweetie Belle provided.
"Dresses!" Scootaloo added.
"Love!" Sweetie Belle posed dramatically.
"Kiss—" Scootaloo stopped, scrunching up her nose. "W-wait, that stuff's not cool!"
"Oh come on! I thought you liked being a flower girl!" Sweetie Belle protested.
"N-no!"
"I dunno. You seemed awful happy to me," Apple Bloom said dubiously.
"Yeah, you looked real nice in that dress Rarity made. You even asked her if you could keep it!"
Scootaloo's cheeks flushed. "I was just there to watch Rainbow Dash do her sweet moves!" The other two fillies grinned at Scootaloo predatorily before Sweetie Belle suddenly lit up.
"Hey, I know! Maybe you could be in charge of entertainment!"
"That's right! I'm sure you could get Rainbow Dash to do some tricks for the weddin'."
"Besides, don't you remember what happened afterwards?"
Scootaloo smiled slowly. "Yeah, that's true! I mean, the wedding was totally lame, except for the part with Rainbow Dash, but after that it was basically like one big party!"
"You're right! And we've had plenty of parties!" Apple Bloom said triumphantly.
"Cutie Mark Crusaders Wedding Party Planners!" the trio shouted, grinning as they posed.
"Did somepony say party?" A large pink pony sprung out of the bushes, landing in front of the trio of fillies, a wide grin on her face. The three fillies blinked as they looked up at her, unused to the sight of the strange pony so near their clubhouse.
"Pinkie Pie?"
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Oh Lord, the pink one is on this now. Celestia help us.
3326623
They were doomed once Applebloom told Sweetie and Scoots.
~Skeeter The Lurker
welp, the ride's gonna get bumpy from here. xD
3326645 They were doomed from the second Granny laid eyes on them.
3326678
Pfffftttt. Ok, yeah.
~Skeeter The Lurker
And this is what avalanches are made of. It starts with a tiny pebble and just...woosh, next thing you know the entire town is buried in rubble and there are broken bleeding bodies everywhere...
I was sure I was going somewhere with this, but...oh well, I'm sure there won't be any serious consequences.
The moral of the story: Don't let your granny catch you bedding anyone or else.
Forced marriage cutie mark!
3326819
What would that even look like?
images.wikia.com/mlp/images/6/68/Moon_S1E16.png
images.wikia.com/mlp/images/2/21/Crescent_Sparkle.png
I kid.
I absolutely love this, the setup is made for hilarity.... but seriously they can just say 'no' and walk away. Also a shot gun versus a unicorn, for real? I do sense this chapter made for a more compelling reason to trap those two together. Ponies are finding out fast, I can barely wait to see just how many before it blows up.
how did this gem slip past my radar? (checks dish) I hate random maintenance.
...oh, sweet Mother of Celestia. Now the whole town's gonna know.
Also, Rarity in a suit would actually look kinda good. Just saying.Hoo boy are they in it now... The Pink Menace knows
3327048
i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd135/seethelight9/misc/stock-illustration-11852700-hits-the-fan.jpg
Poor Scoots, Dash doesn´t really give a crap about her
and now the Pink Whirlwind of Doom is in the scene, that could only end well
Love is in the air.
I like stories that take a wild idea and run with it far, far, beyond the point most people would dare.
The wedding better happen and it better happen in the afternoon.
Oh man, now that Pinkie knows, the crazy train will be impossible to stop. Wedding happening this afternoon. Spread the word!
It's like Beetlejuice, you can't say 'Party' without summoning Pinkie Pie
3326742
Yep that sounds like a wedding all right.
3327090
Hey now, just because the Majeres didn't really want you in their family doesn't mean Dash doesn't Scootalove.
3325692 ...Oh.
I thought of something worse. So it's not bad.
Pinkie Pie style
LETS GO
Granny's right to worry with unicorns.
In the story Two's Company, Three's a Crowd by Lithe Kamitatsy, Vinyl gets Octavia pregnant due to their love for each other.
Go read the story to find out the specifics. (Warning: the tale is long and Lithe still hasn't finished it)
The two of them are looking bewildered when they step to the dais while the CMCs are throwing corn behind them. Both Rarity and Applejack finally speak up when the guy says "forever hold your peace." In the audience, Rainbow Dash screams "Dammit!"
and Twilight pumps her hooves in the air. 
RD complains, "If they just stopped before the vows I won the pot!" Then Spike surreptitiously hands Twilight the bag of bits.
Fluttershy's wings droop too. "If they actually got married I could have afforded to get Angel everything he wanted for a whole month."
*reads last word* HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER! Oh lord, what the buck am I reading?!
(i like it.)
Oooooooooooh no.....This isn't going to end well but I love it!!! keep going!!!!
3329435 The idea of the rest of the group getting a betting pool going around this amuses me greatly and I want to see it happen. I bet Pinkie put money on someone else objecting and putting an end to the marriage.
A wild Pinkie Pie appears!
This gets better with every sentence, I'm getting a headache from laughing!
This is just glorious. If Granny Smith wasn't enough, Pinkie will ensure this wedding happens!