• Member Since 25th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Titanium Dragon


TD writes and reviews pony fanfiction, and has a serious RariJack addiction. Send help and/or ponies.

E

It was a wonderful morning. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Applejack was snuggling up with her. What more could Rarity want?

How about a shotgun wedding when the rest of the Apples come back early?

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 159 )

Oh, God. :rainbowlaugh: This won't end well.

This may end up getting featured. It's fantastic.

This has all the makings to be a fantastic story!

Yay, a good old fashioned marriage. I like stories about these kinds of arrangements. Into the favorites you go.

Yes....I approve of this....:moustache:

I notice that Rarity had no problems with the idea of marrying Applejack, I wonder how long this relationship has been going on?

Applejack trying to get Rarity to loosen up instead of Rarity trying to beautify Applejack. I approve. :moustache:

So, where is the shotgun? I was promised Granny wielding a shotgun.

3319012 I concur! I was promised shotguns! I WANT A SHOTGUN! I WANT A SHOTGUN! I WANT A SHOTGUN!

(Do I sound like a whiny kid yet? I can keep on going!)

In all seriousness, this looks good! Can't wait to see where it's taken!

3318322 I disagree. This will end fantastically! This is hilarious, can't wait for more.

3319043 I think he/she meant that it won't end well for Rarijack

Its funnier because this actually happens in real life

Oh yes... This will be awesome.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Sweet, short, simple and lovely. I wish I can write like this.
Tracking for my RariJack collection... :raritywink::heart::ajsmug:

This :rainbowlaugh: this is going to get interesting :twilightsmile:
Definitely looking forward to more from this :raritywink:

And the saucy AJ pic is in the top banner: WIN.

I can only see fantastic things in the future here.

I knew it.Stories this good can't stay out of the spotlight for long.

This will only end well. :rainbowlaugh:

This is good start.
I saw an Apple with a shotgun for a cute mark in the Apple Family Reunion so this make scene.
Well welcome for my favorites #121

Wanderer D
Moderator

Good start! I'll be checking in to see where you take it!

3318738

since before episode one? :trixieshiftright:

Think I'll watch this one...pretty clever so far. Keep it up!

... Well, NOW YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION

*reads*

So, the premise is pretty funny in and of itself, but I think the writing could be done better. The thing with farce like this is a sense of timing. Its like a song, you have to build up expectation, and hit all the notes just right.

For instance, I would have had more build-up. You certainly could have spent more time setting up the scene, and Rarity and Applejack's relationship. Help build up that nice sense of peace and rightness before you smash it to pieces. That said, the scene in the bed was nice as a sort of stand alone piece. You really captured a lot of warmth and affection between the two of them. I bought it pretty quick that they were really in love. Like I said though, you could take some time to build up their characters a little more, flesh things out. It's mostly to lull the reader into a false sense of security before the rug is ripped out from under them. Also, I would have had either a chapter or page break after Granny Smith announces the two must be wed. Leave it on that note and let the implications speak for themsleves. Then, say, cut to Rarity running into Applejack's bedroom, or Applejack waking up to see Apple Bloom walking down the hall with a wedding dress in her mouth. Furthermore you need to emphasize the lack of control Rarity has over the situation. Things need to get out of hand -quickly- and the reader has to buy that the two of them can't just say no.

Alternatively you could wrap it up pretty quickly and focus more on the contrast of reasonable seeming character in an absurd situation instead of the more black comedy you seem to be aiming for, but the story needs to be tight for that to work. This story comes to mind as an example.

It definitely needs some polish and some design consideration, but is a good start. You definitely have some real talent with romance.

Also, 'grats on the feature.

I will keep watch and nag you more as more is written.
~Nyronus

Sweet Celestia, I was not expecting this kind of reaction to this story! I'm glad you folks are interested! First story I've ever written to make the featured story box, and more likes than... oh... everything else I've ever written. Put together.

Hopefully I don't mess it up. :derpytongue2:

3318373
I think it is safe to say that you called it. I... did not.

3319476
Oh dear. Better hope that baby comes out looking like Spike, Apple Bloom.

3321300
I only had your interest before, eh? :raritywink:

Well, this is my first actual comedy story... ever, really. I don't really have all that much experience in the genre at all, so this is going to be quite the adventure. I have told jokes before, and read a fair bit of comedic fiction, but writing a comedic story is outside of my comfort zone.

Which I suppose is a good reason to write this. Hopefully it will be good; the response to the first chapter has been strong, at least.

I really do appreciate the feedback. Admittedly, this was originally written, as noted in the story description, for a forum game. It ended up as an actual short story, and before I actually posted it as a stand-alone thing, one of my friends pointed out that this worked not only as a little short story, but as the start of a longer comedy. I thought about this, and realized that yes, the rest of this story could indeed be funny, so I plotted out the rest of it.

The next chapter has been written but is presently being poked and prodded at to see if it can be made better. I might end up posting the next two chapters together, I'm not quite sure yet.

3322232
Good old Fallout 2. That game got away with a lot.

... wait, that wasn't literal? Granny Smith isn't blocking the door with a shotgun until they've finished the vows?

I am disappoint!

3319278 She - I am a Princess, after all. :scootangel:
3319043 But yeah, that's what I meant, lol.

...I totally wasn't stalking these comments. :coolphoto:

Gotta love OTP in the morning. :ajsmug::raritywink:

3318738

More concerned about having a perfect, fabulous wedding that the fact of being wedding to her marefriend because her family´s coercion? that´s Rarity for you.:raritystarry:

3322647

Applejack hasn´t gone to tell Granny she is not ready for marriage... yet.

I imagine the entire Apple Family putting AJ and Rares under domiciliary arrest ultil the wedding (with cartoonish-impossible-defying-logic-Pinkie Pie style measures) , and the brides-to-be trying (and failing) to escape.
Let the Madness Begin! :pinkiehappy:

This definitely has my interest. This is getting a favorite, hopefully you can attract my attention with the next chapter.

You know the term "Shotgun Wedding" is used to describe the family of a girl/woman forcing her lover to marry her because he got her pregnant, right? It's to avoid having a child out of wedlock.

3323663 Dear, it might be a different situation, but the general idea is the same. Besides knowing Equestria I'm pretty sure theres a way for two mares to have children, particularly when theres a unicorn involved. Even more so when you start to realize Twilight probably got curious about the subject herself and researched the hell out of it. What I want to know is how a shot gun works for ponies, you know, with no fingers and all

3324064

Sorry, I was not implying context, I was stating the actual definition for the term, since the author of this story seems to not use it correctly.

And magic lesbian babies is stupid.

And ponies should have no problem using a shotgun with a modified trigger and guard, considering what else they do with hooves.

3323747 I read this and thought of more than just a twist in the story line.
Is that bad? :applejackconfused: :yay:

Good story. I look forward to reading more. :raritywink: :rainbowkiss: :ajsmug: :pinkiehappy:

Oh :ajsmug::raritywink:

What will you two get into next?:rainbowlaugh:

3325065 It depends. What did you think of?

wow
much good
have story
very pony
wow

3323663
NO CHILDREN FOR TEH FILLEHFOOLAHS

3325785

Think that's unfair? Mules are sterile.:pinkiesad2:

3326173
NO CHILDREN FOR TEH HALFBREEDZ

Oh Lord, the pink one is on this now. Celestia help us.

3323663
I am indeed aware of this fact. However:

1) The term is funny.

2) There isn't a term of which I am aware for this particular scenario (and really, let's face it, a lot of forced weddings are because of beddings :rainbowwild: Gotta preserve the purity and sanctity of youth and all that).

3) CENSORED

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