• Published 14th Sep 2013
  • 6,645 Views, 492 Comments

Equestria's first warp drive - CCC



The Enterprise pays a visit to Equestria. Luna decides to go and see what this new thing in the night sky is.

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“My sister didn't send anything!” complained Sweetie Belle.

“Hey,” said Applebloom, “ya heard what Applejack said. She's too angry.”

“She's probably angry with me!” said Sweetie, despairingly. “She prob'ly thinks it's uncouth to be kidnapped or something!”

“Um, well... she is coming to help rescue us?” said Applebloom, tentatively reaching out one hoof to Sweetie Belle.

“An' then she's prob'ly gonna ground me forever for being uncouth!” despaired Sweetie, collapsing dramatically onto the floor. “How'm I ever gonna do anything if I'm grounded for life? I'll never be a famous fashion designer if that happens!”

“Uhhhh...” said Applebloom, hesitantly. She looked over at Scootaloo, and poked the pegasus with one hoof.

“Dash is coming!” volunteered Scootaloo, cheerily.

Applebloom frowned at Scootaloo. “Yeah.” she said, drily. “Ah know that.” She pointed at Sweetie Belle and tried to indicate, via a complex series of gestures, that she needed supportive friends right now.

“No,” said Scootaloo, “that's Sweetie Belle. That's not Dash.”

Applebloom rolled her eyes, and trotted back to Sweetie Belle. “Ah'm sure she's not really angry at ya.” she said.

“You don't know my sister like I do!” sobbed Sweetie Belle. “I'm what she always gets angriest at, 'specially if I get lost an' she has to come and find me!”

“I, uh...”

“I once met a mare,” volunteered Red Dawn, “who had lost her foal in a busy market. She was rushing around frantically, worried beyond belief(1). She asked everypony if they'd seen the foal. It was only once she'd found her foal that her worry turned to anger(2). And, though she shouted, most of her anger was not directed at the foal; most was directed at herself, for having let the foal out of her sight.”

Sweetie looked up at Dawn, wondering what the point was.

Dawn knelt down next to Sweetie, and looked her in the eye. “When a parent,” she said, “or an older sister, or any other caregiver, gets angry when someone gets lost, do you know why? It's because she's thinking what would happen if I never found my little sister? And it's because the answer to that question is something that's too scary to think about. Little unicorn, I do not – not for one minute – believe that your sister feels anything but the greatest of love for you. She's not angry at you – she's angry at the Ferengi. And I would not like to be them when she finds them.”

There was a long moment of silence. Then Sweetie Belle reached out her forelegs, and grabbed Dawn in a hug.

“Thank you.” she said. “Thank you so much.”

Dawn licked her lips(3). “I'm just glad to have helped.” she said.

Spike knocked on the door from outside. “Uh, guys? I don't want to interrupt, but do any of you have any idea what we're supposed to do now?”

* * *

Frem's pocket played a jaunty little tune. He reached into it, and pulled out a small, rectangular device. He tapped it, just once.

“Frem?” Pog's voice sounded from the device. “Did you get that last alien?”

“I, um, I shot him three times?”

“Hmmm. A bit wasteful, but you're paying for the shots. Where did you put it?”

It's immune to stuns!”

“...oh. Oh, dear. So, you set the phaser rifle to kill, right?”

There was a long silence.

“Oh, come now!” said Pog, exasperated. “If he's immune to stun, then he's likely at least partially immune to kill! It's just a matter of turning the power up and shooting until he goes down!”

“He breathed fire at me!” objected Frem.

“Well, tell me at least that you haven't lost sight of him.” groaned Pog.

“Um... last I saw him, he was outside my room.” said Frem, nervously. “I, um, I thought I could go and get those focusing crystals re-aligned...”

There was another long silence. Frem's nervousness increased with each passing instant, as he imagined Pog being more and more angry all the time.

But when Pog next spoke, it wasn't in tones of anger. It was in tones of fear.

“Oh, destitution!” he swore. “Frem, get to engineering at once. We need that warp drive back and we need it back now!”

* * *

“Well, unless we can find a way to get through that door, Flam and I are stuck here.” said Dawn. “But I don't think the same is true for the three of you.”

She leapt up onto the bed and bucked a ventilation grill. Then she turned about and stuck her head into the air duct, both to see what was in there, and to take the smashed grill out. “It's too small for a full-grown pony,” she said, “but it looks like a little filly will be just about able to fit through there. Now, I want the three of you to be very, very careful, okay? Remember that the Ferengi can't fit into the air ducts either, so as long as you stay in there, you'll always have an escape route.”

“We'll be careful!” said Scootaloo, hopping onto Dawn's back and from there, into the duct.

“We promise!” lied Sweetie Belle, as she followed. Something to do was just what she needed.

“Yeah!” added Applebloom, rounding out the group.

“Now wait just a minute!” said Dawn.

Three little filly's heads crowded the space the grill had been removed from. “Yes?” they asked.

“We need to talk about what you're going to do.” said Dawn. “You need to start off by finding Spike and rendezvousing with him.”

“What's rendezvous?” asked Scootaloo.

“Meet.” said Sweetie Belle.

“He's small enough to fit in the ducting with you.” Dawn said. “And then you need to see if you can find some way to stop this starship from going anywhere so your sisters can catch up, okay?”

There was silence for a few moments while the Crusaders considered this, then Scootaloo said “Yeah! Cutie Mark Crusaders Starship Saboteurs are on the job!”

“Y'all can consider this here starship thoroughly stopped!” said Applebloom.

“Just be careful,” warned Dawn, “there's probably fans in there that could cut you up. Watch where you're going, okay?”

She waited a few minutes for them to leave, before green fire wrapped around her. Her buffalo form vanished, replaced by the shape of a young alicorn filly(4), no bigger than the Crusaders.

With a buzz of her wings, she flew up into the air duct and started heading in the direction opposite to the Crusaders.

The Ferengi weren't going to recapture her, if she could possibly help it.

* * *

On the bridge, Pog looked again at the giant ship that had snuck up on them while he and Frem were busy trying to round up their prisoners.

“Oh, destitution!” he swore, again, as the other ship hailed him. Audio only.

Numbly, he flicked the switch to play it, although he already knew what it would say.

We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.






(1) Delicious. Not as healthy or nutritious as love, but sweet and useful for a sudden rush of energy (though it can be unpleasant when it wears off).

(2) Savoury, with hints of cinnamon.

(3) Gratitude is both delicious and filling, though quite difficult to find a good long-term source of.

(4) She couldn't decide whether access to magic or flight would be more useful, so she went for both.