Equestria's first warp drive

by CCC

The Flim Flam Brothers meet a Ferengi

Six months later

“Greetings, good sir!” said the first pony.

“Greetings, I say!” added the second

“Ah, greetings.” said the alien being. “I am Pog, of the Ferengi, and I have come a long way, looking for certain... rare goods.”

“Well, you've come to the right place, my good... Pog.” said the first pony.

“Indeed you have.” said the second. “What do you say, brother of mine? Should we give him the catalogue?”

“I would prefer your names, first.” said Pog. “I like to know who I'm dealing with.”

“Of course!” said the first pony. “Our sincerest apologies. My name is Flim.”

“And I'm Flam.” added the second. “Together, we're -”

“The World Famous Flim Flam Brothers!” say both ponies in chorus.

“Indeed. And as to your wares?”

The two brothers glance at each other, and promptly burst into song.

We have genuine Cloudsdale cloud,
Of which we are quite justly proud,
Rubies and sapphires and emeralds as well,
Or perhaps you'd prefer a crystal bell?

If you want it we can get it,
You won't need to ask us twice,
We have sources through Equestria,
Everything has its price!

Of cider we have plenty,
Would you buy a cup or twenty?
If books you wish to choose,
we have much you can peruse.

If you want it we can get it,
You won't need to ask us twice,
We have sources through Equestria,
Everything has its price!

We have -

“All right, all right!” interrupted Pog. “I'm a busy Ferengi, I can't sit around listening to songs all the time. Anything, you say?”

“With one exception.” said Flim.

“One exception indeed.” added Flam.

“We don't deal in livestock.” said Flim.

“Which we take care to clearly mention in the fourth verse.” concluded Flam.

“Well, that's a pity.” groused Pog. “Half of what I was after was livestock. Wild animals.”

“Can't be helped, I'm afraid.” said Flim.

“It's just too much trouble, you see.” added Flam.

“Not to be worried,” continued Flim, “we sell much you'd find useful.”

“An illustrated manual,” said Flam, presenting it, “on Equestrian creatures and their habits.”

“Traps and bait,” said Flim, “should you wish to hunt them yourself.”

“All the equipment you could require,” added Flam.

“Or alternatively, the address of a reputable huntsman for hire.” finished Flim.

“Right.” said Pog. “For a start, then, I'll take that manual and look over the bait. Now, as for the other half of my list – you do stock plants, right?”

“Those we can get for you.” said Flim.

“Seeds or saplings?” asked Flam.

“Seeds.” said Pog, firmly. “Better for long-term storage. I have a list.”

The pony brothers took the list, hovering it over with their telekinesis. They quickly glanced through it.

“Ah, we can get these for you.” said Flim.

“Indeed we can.” said Flam. “We can have them by tomorrow.”

“Which leaves us with only one point we should raise.” said Flim.

“We will need to know, how you intend to pay us.” said Flam.

“We'll take barter or bits, half in advance.”

Pog nodded his head back to the cart that floated behind him on antigravity technology. “I'll offer this cart.” he says. “Anti-gravity, rated to carry up to half a tonne, and the power supply will last at least ten thousand years with moderate usage.”

Flim and Flam looked over the cart.

“I say, dear brother,” said Flim, “I do believe we can deal.”

“For a cart that works,” continued Flam, “without need for wheels.”

“Of course we will need -”

“- to drop some of these seeds -”

“As it is, my dear Pog, you'll be getting a steal.”

Author's Note:

I've decided to have a go at continuing this. Tags, especially character tags, are likely to change as the story continues.

Comments

[The Red Angel]

I'm just waiting for Picard to meet Discord.....Things will get quite interesting.....

[Lord Death]

3207996
or more the lines for Q to meet discord since her will most likely be intrested

[Levana]

Oh shit? Oh shit.

Bye-bye, Prime Directive!

Hopefully, no one can reverse engineer it, although with magic I wouldn't be surprised...

[StrigidaeFan]

3401553
I thought that Q IS Discord, and he just takes on the guise of DisQord when he wants to troll the Equestrians.

[Bronzer]

Well, sample of anti-grav technology or not, to those thinking reverse-engineering, there is far more to it than some kind of magic scan. Besides, if their magic is capable of determining how to make something so advanced, then they would already be advanced because their magic scanning would have given them detailed knowledge of the natural world and the science involved in the first place. Clearly, they aren't advanced so that is likely not the case.

If, instead, they can use magic to poof copies of tech into existence from an original, the Federation's response to such blatant stealing (and assholery) would likely involve a ship's phasers set to stun and wide-beam followed by methodical removal of technology and memories.

[DualKitsune]

Wow...two cons meet.

[Six String]

7770814 CONNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!" - Admiral James T. Kirk

[Snowdrifter]

8393592
That, good String, is a long con.
Well played.