Equestria's first warp drive

by CCC

Acquisition

Of course, everypony had heard of the strange bipeds from space who had first visited Equestria six months ago. But almost nopony had seen one before. The description that most ponies had heard was 'sort of like a minotaur, but shaved, and without the horns'.

Pog took shameless advantage of the fact that Ferengi also matched this vague description.

Everypony knew that the mysterious Federation had the Princess' approval. But nopony knew to be cautious of certain other races.

So Pog took the train from Canterlot, towards Ponyville, chasing a rumour; and no-one paid him a second glance. They were even helpful; yes, there was a baby dragon living in Ponyville. A suitable gift for a dragon? Well – probably a gem, of some sort. Pog was somewhat surprised to find that dragons ate gems... but if a gem was required, then a gem would be obtained.

There were four beings that Pog wanted to meet in Ponyville. One was the dragon. The other three – given the name of the settlement, Pog expected the other three to be easy to find. And they were.

All Pog had to do was wait outside the local schoolhouse.

* * *

“Are you an alien?” asked the orange one, the one with wings.

“Indeed I am.” said Pog, forcing a grin. “My name is Pog. What are your names?”

“I'm Scootaloo!” said the orange one.

“Mah name's Applebloom.” said the yellow, wingless, hornless one.

“And I'm Sweetie Belle.” said the white one, with the horn.

“Well, good day, Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle.” said Pog. “I am very glad to meet you. Do you know, I was hoping to meet three little fillies just like you?”

“You were?” asked Applebloom.

“Indeed I was,” replied Pog, “for I have three little gifts for three little fillies right here.”

“You do?” enquired Scootaloo, eagerly.

Pog nodded, his fake grin stretching a little more. “That's right.” He reached into his pocket, and produced three little clips. “One decorative maneclip each.” he said. “With lights on.”

“Coooooool!” chorused the three fillies.

“Oh, but there are just two conditions.” said Pog.

“...what conditions?” asked Applebloom.

“First of all, you've got to wear them all day.” said Pog. “Just for today.”

“Sure!”

“No problem.”

“Okay.”

“And secondly... I hear there's a baby dragon in this town?”

“You mean Spike?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Can you tell me where I can find him?”

“Oh, that's easy. He lives in the library. Down this street, then take a left at the Carousel Boutique, and continue down the road. You can't miss it, it's in a tree.”

“Well, then. One clip for each of you. Let me just put them in...”

Pog took some care with this step. First Scootaloo, then Sweetie Belle, and finally Applebloom. The maneclips were simple enough to attach; and the little power light on each clip remained green, showing that they had enough battery power for at least two more weeks.

Pog didn't expect to need more than two hours. But one does not show a profit by being careless.

* * *

There was a knock at the door of the Ponyville library.

“Spike!” called out a voice from inside. “Can you get that?”

“Sure, Twilight.” called out a second voice.

There was some sound of movement from inside the tree, and then the door opened. Pog found himself facing a small, reptilian creature – purple, with green spikes.

Spike took one look at the alien, and turned around. “Twilight!” he called out. “It's for you!”

“Coming!” called a voice from further in the tree.

“On the contrary,” said Pog, “I am here to speak with you.”

“You are?” asked Spike, as a purple unicorn trotted up behind him.

“Indeed. You are a dragon, right?”

Spike looked up at Pog, and blinked, twice. “Um, yes?”

“Excellent. I have heard such a lot about dragons(1), but this is the first time I have ever met one.”

Behind Spike, Twilight rolled her eyes and went to reshelve the fiction section. It wasn't the first time that someone had turned up, just to look at Spike (though most ponies had got it out of their system by now).

“Well, yeah,” said Spike, “most dragons are kind of solitary, I guess.”

“Will you accept a gift as a token of the great esteem in which I hold your species?” asked Pog, presenting Spike with a large ruby.

“Would I?” asked Spike, his eyes shining.

Twilight promptly trotted up behind Spike. “Now, Spike,” she said, “be careful.” Turning to face Pog, she added “My apologies, but dragons have to be very careful accepting gifts. It can trigger their hoarding nature.”

“Yeah,” said Spike, still staring at the gem. “Happened to me once. I kinda... lost control.”

“Indeed?” asked Pog. “But surely – a single ruby won't -”

“Nah, that'll be fine.” said Twilight. “He'll just eat it. Now, Spike, say thank you to the nice... um... creature.”

“Thank you.” said Spike, taking the ruby. “It looks delicious.”

“Ah, yes.” said Pog. “I had heard that you ate gems. I must say, I had never heard of such a thing before. I do hope that you will enjoy the flavour of this absolutely delicious ruby.”

Spike tossed the ruby into the air, catching it in his mouth, and swallowing it all in one gulp.

“Excellent.” said Pog, grinning. “Now, if you don't mind, I have an appointment to keep...”

He rushed away, down the street.

“Huh.” said Twilight. “That was odd.”

“Odd, but delicious.” said Spike.

Inside Spike's stomach, insulated temporarily from his stomach acids by a protective coating of ruby, a little power light glowed green...

* * *

Ferengi light commerce cruiser, in orbit above Equestria

A glimmer of orange points appeared in the air, shifting and resolving into the form of Pog.

“Welcome back.” said the other Ferengi in the room. “Did you place the transmitters?”

“All five, Frem.” said Pog, nodding.

“Good.” Frem grinned, widely. “We are going to make such a profit from this trip...”

“Indeed we will, Frem.” agreed Pog. “Indeed we will. Now, if you would be so kind as to beam up our new trade goods...”

* * *

“Spike? Do you know where my copy of Magical Theory for the Advanced Student Volume III is?”

“Right here!” said the dragon, pulling the book from the shelf. Twilight's magic pulled it from his claw and floated it down.

“Thanks, Spike.” she said, the pages flipping in front of her.

“No problem, Twi – hey, what...”

Twilight looked up from her book just in time to see Spike abruptly dissolve into nothingness.

“Spike?” she asked, shocked. “Spike! SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!”

(1) Half a page and one illustration in “Equestrian Beasts and Where to find them”, together with ten minutes talking to an armoured stallion at the Canterlot train station

Comments

[picklejuice]

Not a good lesson for kids: "accept candy from strangers." SB more subtle perhaps by tricking Spike into eating it somehow, rather than as blatant gift from a complete stranger. Perhaps by Pog "accidentally" tripping or breaking something of Spikes, and giving the ruby as an apology.

And the Ferengi are suddenly blase? Equestria isn't crawling with humans or ferengi, it says so right in the story. This is the first time anypony has seen these aliens, they'd cause more of a draw than spike did when all the ponies were bothering Twilight to look at the dragon as it says in this story.

Pog would have to be masquerading as a pony somehow using holographics if he really wanted to pass undetected. He's definitely trying to be sneaky.

Still - I'm interested. Will be reading the next chapter. Keep it up!

[JDunk1971]

This has so much LOL:

Spike took one look at the alien, and turned around. “Twilight!” he called out. “It's for you!”

[Shadow_8472]

I called homing beacons the moment I read about the first one. I'm still not quite sure where the 5th is.