I Killed Fiddy Men, Not Ponies

by LtMajorDude

Oh thank God!

Cotton scratched his head as he walked around the school.

"OK, I need to get Twily to be Princess. The only problem is Sunset Shimmer. Wait, how did the movie go again? Let's see...soccer, stupid song, ruined gym, clean up, demon, the end."

Cotton gritted his teeth as he started to mop the floor. "Let me mop this floor, then I'll go see Breaking Dawn."

As he mopped the floor, he didn't notice a teenager hiding somewhere, eavesdropping on Cotton. The teenager was wearing a silver shirt with a skull in the back.

"That old fart wants to leave this world, huh? Not if I can do anything about it..."

The teen left his hiding spot and took out a walkie talkie from his jeans pocket.

"So, how's Cotton?" Said a voice from the walkie talkie.

As the teenager put on his red cap, he replied, "Don't worry, his ass is mine."

---

Cotton let out an amused smile as he saw Twilight playing soccer with Rainbow Dash.

"Damn. Breaking Dawn sucks ass at soccer."

Cotton chuckled as he walked away. He stopped laughing when he heard a sound and stopped walking. Confused, he turned around, only to be punched by someone. Cotton fell to the ground with a bloody nose.

"What the hell?" He shouted as he looked up to see a teenager with a red cap on his head.

The teenager glared at Cotton as he cracked his knuckles. "Any last words?"

"Who the hell are you?" Cotton asked as he got up.

"Nice last words. Now die already!" The teenager roared as he tried to uppercut Cotton, who quickly dodged the attack.

Cotton threw a punch at the teenager, who fell to the ground. He quickly kicked Cotton at his right leg, causing him to fall to the ground. The teenager quickly got up and tried to slam his fist onto Cotton's face. Cotton managed to roll away, avoiding the punch, and quickly got up.

The teenager spat out some blood from his mouth before growling. "We'll meet again." He mumbled as he ran away.

Cotton tried to run after him but stopped when he felt pain from his right leg. "Come back here, punk!" Cotton yelled at the retreating teenager. He was angry that he did not even get a good look of the teenager.

---

"So, you fell down and broke your right leg?" Vice Principal Luna asked skeptically as Cotton wrapped a white cloth around his right leg. He was in the principal's office.

"Merely a flesh wound, luna moth." Cotton said as he finished healing his leg.

"Don't call me that, Mr. Hill. And do try to be more careful please."

"Yeah, yeah." Cotton said as he walked out of the office. "By the way, Mark Walsh says hi."

"Again?" Luna whispered with a smile as she closed the door.

Cotton sighed as he walked up to the vending machine and put a dollar inside.

"Let's see...Only one peanut butter and cracker snack left? Eh. The hell with that Great and Powerful Bitch." Cotton muttered as he inputed the combination for the snack. A while later, he received his snack and started to eat it.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie does seem like a lovely lady."

Cotton spat out his snack when he heard that familiar French accent. He turned around and saw six teenagers.

"Pupils of Discord!" Cotton blurted out as he stared at them. "But I'm guessing you have no idea what I'm talking abou-"

"We're here to rescue you from this place." The skinny teenager, Anthony Page, said as he crossed his arms.

Cotton let out a relieved groan as he stared at the ceiling. "Thank you Fidel Castro for sending me a rescue squad! Wait, mind telling me what the hell am Ah doin' in this world?"

"This is Equestria," the teen wearing a blue shirt, the real Rusty Shackleford, replied, "Except that instead of ponies and such, it's mostly composed of humans. So, it's kinda like Earth."

"Dang ol' pretty pretty gals man, talk about UNCE UNCE UNCE." The tan teen, Patch, muttered as he danced while saying UNCE.

"Most of them are devilish handsome." The French teen, Gilbert, said with a sly smile. "Especially that Big Macintosh."

"Cut it out, Frenchie." The Laotian teenager, Phonsawan, said as he lightly punched Gilbert's shoulder.

"So we gonna get you out free!" The chubby teen, Jimmy Wichard, shouted. "FREEEEE!!!"

"Calm down crazy man." Cotton muttered as he grabbed Jimmy. "First off, how are we gonna get the hell out of here?"

"Discord gave us this stone." Antony said as he took out a red stone. "We'll use this carefully to teleport to the real Equestria."

Cotton let out a relieved sigh. "Finally, now let's get the hell out of here."

The teenager with the red cap hid behind a trash can. He saw what was happening as he saw Antony preparing the stone.

"Damnit." He whispered. "I thought Cotton would stay here after I summoned those fake voices last night. I'm never gonna let him live!"

With a knife on his hand, he waited for the right moment. The red stone begin to emit a bright red light, covering the Pupils and Cotton.

"Time to get the hell ou-"

"DIE!"

The red cap teenager charged towards the Pupils and Cotton. He struck the red stone and then tried to attack Cotton, who just dodged in time.

"Dang ol' the stone!!!" Patch shouted as the Pupils and Cotton glanced at the stone, which now has a large scar in it. Cotton grabbed the red cap teenager in fury.

"YOU BASTARD!!! WHO THE HELL ARE YA!?"

The red cap teenager smiled evilly as the red stone made a screeching sound. "You don't remember me Cotton? Don't remember the guy who charged your ass in the Everfree Forest?" He said as Cotton got a good look of him.

"Christian?!" Cotton shouted as red light blinded everyone near the stone.

---

Cotton immediately woke up with a surprised look on his face. He got up and saw the other Pupils lying on the ground, waking up. He looked around for the red cap teenager but couldn't find him.

"Bastard..." Cotton mumbled as he got up.

"Where are we?" Rusty said as he looked behind him. To their surprise, they found Canterlot High.

"Rats." Antony mumbled as he took out the red stone and walkie talkie. "The stone is cracked and the walkie talkie is damaged. How are we going to contact Discord?"

Cotton and the others entered inside the school. They found that the school hasn't changed a bit. Phonsawan looked to his right to find the school calendar.

"Wait a minute." He said as he put his hand on his chin. "I think we time traveled! I remember seeing this calendar before we found Cotton. The dates are different!"

The rest of the group ran to the calendar. They all let out a gasp.

"So we time traveled to the future? How long?" Rusty asked.

"Hey, what's this?" Gilbert said as he stared at a poster not too far. The others walked up to the poster. Cotton raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell is a Battle of the Bands?" Jimmy mumbled as he scratched his head.

Author's Note:

I ain't dead yet!

Comments

[Some random Rapidash]

Oh no.

[Bad_Seed_72]

Woohoo! An update! I hope Cotton gets his revenge on that douchebag.

Quick fix:

"Let me mop this floor, then I'll go see Breaking Down."

*Breaking Dawn

Nice nickname there, lol.

[LtMajorDude]

5414219
Thanks. And don't worry, Cotton WILL get his revenge on that red cap douchebag!