Babysitting Time!
It's been a week since Cotton returned from the duplicate dimension.
The house built for the Earth inhabitants was finally finished. Hank, his friends, and their families and friends all adored the house. They all named it Arlen House. Cotton, in his opinion, disliked the name.
Cotton still kept his job kicking trees. He still couldn't wait to get revenge on those four.
Mark now tolerated Kenny. Kenny couldn't stay because he was still a Royal Guard.
Cotton had one problem though. He still wanted more money.
Arlen House
Cotton sighed as he lied down in his bed in his room.
"Something wrong, Cotton?" Joseph asked.
Cotton got up. "Oh. It's ya. Well, not everything. I still need money."
"You can always get a job at the weather factory! I bet Rainbow Dash can get you a j..."
Joseph paused as he realized Cotton didn't have wings.
"Oops. Sorry."
He then left. Cotton lied back down in his bed.
"I heard that some ponies want a babysitter."
Cotton got up and saw Bobby standing next to him.
"Babysitting?" Cotton said with a raised eyebrow. "I don't know...how much?"
"I think 10 bits. Each."
"Each what?"
"Babies. I think there are 10 of them."
Cotton smiled. "100 bit! Hot damn I'm sold!"
Joseph walked past his father's room.
"Hey dad." He said when he saw Dale.
"Hey Joseph." Dale said as he finished his cigarette.
Dale picked up the paper bag to get another cigarette.
He looked inside the bag.
It was empty.
Dale's eye twitched.
Cotton went to the place where he was supposed to babysit.
He saw a small pink house.
"Ugh. Who paints a house pink?"
He went inside and saw ten mothers, each holding a baby.
"This the babysitting thing?" Cotton asked one of the mothers.
"Yes it is." She replied. "Are you the babysitter?"
"Yeah. I guess." Cotton muttered.
"Good. Well, we got to go. Please take care of them."
She gave him her baby and walked away.
The others put their babies on the ground and also walked away.
"They didn't even pay me..."
Cotton put the baby down with the other babies.
The babies blinked at him.
Cotton scratched the back of his head.
"So...uh...hi. I'm Cotton Hill. Um...I killed fiddy men...I hope it's gonna be fiddy-four men...uh..."
Cotton got some word blocks and put it on the floor.
"Um...spell something."
The babies took the blocks and threw it at Cotton.
Cotton quickly dodged them. He let out a furious look.
"This is gonna be mah hardest mission..."
Eventually, the babies started making a huge mess.
Babies were throwing stuff all over the room. Toys were scattered everywhere.
Cotton dropped his jaw. "I've seen massacres less messier than this..."
Cotton sighed. "How about I tell y'all a story?"
The babies stopped and looked at Cotton.
Cotton sighed. "Alright good. Well then, let me tell ya the time I once lost mah shins. I was 14 years old. A bit older than mah grandson. But I knew Uncle Sam needed me. So I lied and joined the army. We had beat the Nazzys in Italy, and they shipped me to the Pacific theater. A Tojo torpedo sent our troupe's ship to the bottom. I was able to save three of mah friends, Fatty, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kinda like mah friends right now, only one of them was from Brooklyn. Out of the sun came a Tojo Zero and put fifty bullets in my back. The blood attracted sharks. I had to give them Fatty. Oh god! Then things took a turn for the worse. I made it to an island. But it was full of Tojos! They were spitting on the American flag, so I rushed at them. But it was a trap! They opened fire and shot mah shins. Last thing I remember was that I beat them to death with a big piece of Fatty! I woke up in a field hospital, and they were sewing mah feet to mah knees."
Cotton put a hoof in his forehead.
He noticed an awful smell.
He looked up and noticed all the babies soiled themselves.
"Goddamn it!"
Eventually, Cotton changed all of the diapers.
"Ah man...the time I slept under dead bodies in Vietnam smelled better than this." Cotton muttered.
Eventually, more babies started to make more noises and messes.
Cotton's right eye twitched. However, he took a deep breath and let out a relieved sig...
CRASH!
Cotton looked at the bookshelf, which was now laying on the floor.
"THAT'S IT!-!-!"
The babies all stopped what they were doing and looked at Cotton.
"I AM GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS! ALL YA DO IS MAKE NOISE AND PISS ME OFF! YOU'RE LIKE THE FIDDY MEN I KILLED, SOON TO BE FIDDY FOUR MEN! HECK, YOU'RE MORE ANNOYING THEN THE FIDDY MEN WHOM I KILLED! I'M GONNA GIVE YA A COUPLE REASONS WHY I'M PISSED OFF!-!-!"
30 minutes later
"...AND YA INTERRUPTED A GOOD WWII STORY ABOUT HOW I LOST MAH SHINS AND FATTY! YA GOOD FOR NOTHING PIECES OF CRAP!"
The babies just stared at Cotton.
Immediately, they all started crying.
Cotton just rolled his eyes.
"I gutted a man, he whined less than ya kids." He muttered as he went to another room to take a nap.
As soon as he lied on the bed, he took out a pair of earplugs.
He put them on his ears and took a quick nap.
2 hours later
Cotton yawned. "Oh man. How long was I asleep?"
He took out his earplugs and noticed the silence.
"No crying babies? Must have gone to sleep."
He got up to check on them.
He dropped his jaw.
There were no babies. The window was broken.
Cotton looked outside. He saw baby hoofprints on the ground. They were leading to the Everfree Forest.
"Crap."
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And that's why I can't stand kids. I have to put up with three that are able to talk and have basic understanding of fingers, I can only imagine what 10 with blunt objects for appendages and potential magic and flight could do.
Also, inb4 field trip excuse.
3617490
k is inb4?
LOL
BTW what the f
3617618
inb4 (pronounced: in before), is an old forum term typically used to guess what will happen later.
3617759
Oh. OK
3617490
Three kids? Hmm...sorry about that.
I just love Cotton's story!
One of my fav moments in King of the Hill. Another is when Hank awkwardly says, "Well Dad, I'm sorry about Fatty... and your shins..."