I Killed Fiddy Men, Not Ponies

by LtMajorDude

Time to "Practice"

The next day

Cotton yawned as he got off his hay bed.

He walked up to Applejack's house and knocked on the dad.

This time it was his son who answered the door. Both G.H. and Didi stayed in the house. They both used the pull-out bed from the couch. Cotton, however, wanted to sleep in the barn. He was used to it.

"Hey dad." G.H. said with a small smile.

Cotton patted G.H.'s head. "Hey Good Hank. Ready to help me practice for that tournament thing?"

G.H. nodded. He was ready to beat his older half-brother, Hank Hill.

"C'mon." Cotton said. "We gotta meet up with Mark and Mr. Kahn."

---

Hank woke up a little early so that he can practice early.

He met up with Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer near Everfree Forest.

Hank took out his golf bag that was filled with just four clubs: a driver, a wood, an iron, and a putter.

"I wish we had more time to make more clubs." Bill muttered.

"So it's agreed." Hank said. "I participate in the tournament. You guys are my...um...let's say pit crew."

"Dang ol' yo, man." Boomhauer said.

Hank used his magic to take out an iron and a golf ball.

He used his magic to swing the iron and hit the golf ball.

"Not bad." Dale said with a smile. "I have a feeling that we're gonna win this tournament. Hey. Did I ever tell you about this scene in the season 4 premiere in which..."

Dale went on as Hank practiced and Bill and Boomhauer just paid attention to Hank.

What they didn't know is that a hooded pegasus was watching them...

---

Buck met Bobby, Big Macintosh, and AppleBloom in a park to practice.

Buck admired Big Macintosh and hoped, if Buck brought back Strickland Propane, Big Macintosh would join Team Strickland. AppleBloom enjoyed being around Bobby, since she thought he was funny like Dale. She still wondered how he and Buck got their cutie marks. Bobby had a whoopie cushion cutie mark and Buck had a cash sign cutie mark.

"So how does gawlf work?" AppleBloom asked.

"Bobby, Ol' Top," Buck told Bobby. "Tell AppleBloom how it works."

"I don't think I can do that, Mr. Strickland," Bobby said with a nervous grin. "I'm not good at explaining sports."

"Oh come on son," Buck said. "You did a pretty good job explaining golf when you had Chip."

"How did you know about Chip?" Bobby asked.

Buck smiled. "Hank told me. He also told me how he was gonna kick Dale's ass one day for killing Chip."

Bobby chuckled. "OK. I'll try."

As he explained it to AppleBloom and Big Macintosh, Buck took out a driver and practiced some swings.

They didn't noticed the hooded pegasus that was spying them...

---

Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie all met in another park.

True, they did not know how golf worked. However, Lucky, who personally knew how to play, volunteered to help them.

Eventually, Lucky, Luanne, and Gracie met up with Twilight and her friends.

"Hey Ms. Twilight, Ms. Pinkie Pie, Ms. Rainbow Dash, and Ms. Applejack!" Gracie said with a smile as she waved.

Twilight waved at Gracie.

Lucky walked up to the Twilight and her friends.

"Alright." Lucky said with a calm smile. "First off, who's entering the tournament?"

Applejack raised her hoof.

"Alright." Lucky said. "First, some drills."

He got in a swinging position. Then he pretended to swing.

Rainbow Dash yawned. "Boring! When do we actually learn how to play?"

Lucky shook head. "Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Come on now." he said in a calm voice. "I'm not just teaching you to play. I'm teaching you on how to be good at this game, well, that and how to play. Now try to do that swing I just did."

As Applejack practiced the swings, Gracie couldn't help but giggle at how goofy she looked when swinging.

"Come on sweetie." Luanne said as she rubbed Gracie's head. "Don't laugh at Ms. Applejack."

"But mama," Gracie said with a smile. "It looks funny. Like that time you told me that daddy swung while his legs were broken."

Lucky stopped swinging and stared at Luanne.

"You told her that." He said with a small frown. "You weren't even there. How did you..."

"You know how easy it is to control Dale with just cigarettes." Luanne said with a giggle.

Eventually, everypony started chuckling, even Twilight and her friends.

Rainbow Dash's laughter was a bit less hearty. She still don't know what cigarettes are.

They didn't noticed the hooded pegasus that was spying on them. He let out an evil grin.

---

Sweet Apple Acres

Cotton, G.H., and Kahn were all waiting for Mark.

Just then, the hooded pegasus, that was spying on the other ponies, arrived.

He took off his hood, revealing to be Mark.

"So!" Cotton said. "What did you find out?"

Mark grinned. "You know that Dale Gribble guy?"

Cotton nodded.

"His weakness is cigarettes. Can be easily persuaded." He said with a grin. "But bad news and good news. Bad news is that cigarettes don't exist. Good news is that I read a book at Twilight's library and tobacco DOES exist. I think it's at the Everfree Forest. I get it and somepony's gonna have to turn it to cigarettes."

Kahn shrugged. "I don't like doing favors for Gribble. But if it will make Hill lose, I'll do my best."

Cotton grinned. "Good. Looks like I have to practice just in case. Mark, go find the tobacco."

Mark saluted. "Yes sir!" He said before departing.

As Cotton took out a golf club and started to practice, he let out an evil grin.

"Mah boy ain't gonna beat me." Cotton muttered. "And I intend to keep it that way..."

Comments

[Lag Incarnate]

Yes... good...