• Published 15th Sep 2013
  • 2,750 Views, 158 Comments

I Killed Fiddy Men, Not Ponies - LtMajorDude



After Cotton Hill dies, he is given another chance in life in the world of Equestria.

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=Mark's Haunting Memories=

Mark went to a cafe to grab a quick snack.

As he sat down on a chair, the waiter came and took his order.

As Mark waited, he noticed the three fillies, who he knew where the Cutie Mark Crusaders, hanging out with each other.

Mark smiled. He had always liked to see friends hanging out with each other.

Immediately, memories went in his head.

What happened to Mommy and Daddy?-!

Go to Hell, Kenny! I don't need you anyway!-!

What's up. Name's Mark Walsh.

Wanna hang out with us? You look cool for a kid your age.

Heh. Nice. That was a little offensive but kinda funny...

Dude calm down! You don't have to make a big deal about the Japanese...

What do you mean I can't hang out with you guys!-?

I'm sorry man, but...

I freaking loved you guys! All of you were actually one of my first GODDAMN friends ever!-! AND NOW I CAN'T HANG OUT WITH YOU ASSHOLES?-!-?-!

SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!-!-!

DUDE PLEASE STOP!-!

OH GOD! PLEASE NO!-!

NO! STOP!-! PLEASE!-!-!-! I'M YOUR FRIEND!-!-!-!

SHUT UP!-!-!-!-! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP...!-!-!-!-!

He widen his eyes, but quickly closed his eyes and put his hooves on his ears and slammed his head on the table, trying to get rid of his thoughts.

DUDE PLEASE STOP!-!

OH GOD! PLEASE NO!-!

NO! STOP!-! PLEASE!-!-!-! I'M YOUR FRIEND!-!-!-!

Tears began flowing from his enclosed eyes.

DUDE PLEASE STOP!-!

OH GOD! PLEASE NO!-!

NO! STOP!-! PLEASE!-!-!-! I'M YOUR FRIEND!-!-!-!

He didn't notice the waiter bringing him a small sandwich.

DUDE PLEASE STOP!-!-!-!-! STOP STOP STOP...

OH GOD! PLEASE NO!-!-!-!-! NO NO NO NO...

NO!-!-!-! STOP!-!-!-!-! PLEASE!-!-!-!-!-!-! I'M YOUR FRIEND!-!-!-!-!-!-! FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND FRI...

"AHHHHHHHHHH!-!-!-!"

Mark screamed so loud, that everypony around him looked at him with shocked, surprised looks. The waiter even dropped the sandwich, with a shocked look on his face.

Mark immediately got up and flew away at a great speed. Away from the cafe.


Mark sat there on a cloud he formed by himself.

He laid on his cloud, his hooves covering his face.

He gave up and let the memories came back...




A young Mark sat in his room, playing with his toy car.

A police officer stood there, with an uncomfortable look on his face.

"Son," the officer said, "You may be wondering what I'm doing here...but...uh, your mom and dad, uh..."

Mark stopped playing and looked at the officer.

"What happened to them?" he asked.

The officer scratched his head, nervously.

"What happened to Mommy and Daddy?-!"

...

The police officer hugged Mark as Mark cried on the officer's shoulder.

The officer couldn't say much...his parents were never killed in a car accident...


A teenage Mark, around 17 years old, ruffled his head with an enraged look as he reached the door.

A young man stood in the hall. "Hey, don't go out, Mark! Come back here! You're grounded, you stupid fucking asshole! Remember?-!"

Mark grabbed a nearby lamp and threw it to the man, who was his uncle.

As his uncle dodged the lamp, Mark barked, "Go to Hell, Kenny! I don't need you anyway!-!"

Mark went out and shut the door with great force.


Mark stood there, leaning against a wall at his school.

Students looked at him, and hurried on, turning their face away from him.

Mark noticed this but shrugged it off, he didn't really care. People thought he was reckless and shady-looking, but he actually didn't care.


"Cool attitude, man." a voice said.

Mark was at a burger restaurant when he turned around to see four other high school students. They looked about his age. One had a blue t-shirt and shorts. The other had a red sweater and tight pants. The other one wore a yellow shirt with black pants. And finally, the last one had a white shirt, blue jeans, and a baseball cap on his head.

The teenager with baseball cap walked up to Mark and raised his hand.

"I'm Alexander Dean." the teenager with the baseball cap said.

"Name's Andrew Devin." the kid with the blue shirt said.

"Call me Jacob Springer." the teenager with the red sweater said.

"Joshua Ziff." the kid with the yellow shirt said.

Mark smirked. "What's up." he said as he held his hand in the air. "Name's Mark Walsh."

Alexander shook Mark's hand. "Wanna hang out with us?" he asked. "You look cool for a kid your age."

Mark shrugged. "OK Why not?" he said.

Ever since then, he hung out with them in his free time. Mark couldn't believe it but he finally found some friends he trusted and respected.


"I swear to God." Mark said with a smirk. "The only thing the Japanese done right is their food. And it's nothing but disgusting crap!"

Mark let out a laughter. Andrew and Jacob just looked at each as Alexander and Joshua looked surprised.

Alexander let a nervous chuckle and grin. "Heh." he muttered. "Nice. That was a little offensive but kinda funny..."

The other guys nodded, with raised eyebrows. They thought Mark was joking around. They didn't know that he literally hated Asians...


"Dude calm down! You don't have to make a big deal about the Japanese..." Alexander told Mark in a burger restaurant.

Mark just shrugged and smiled. "Can you blame me for such a crappy country?" he said as he calmly sipped his drink.

Alexander just sighed and shook his head with his eyes closed.


Mark was at the burger restaurant with his friends.

Mark looked angered while Alexander, Andrew, Jacob, and Joshua.

"What do you mean I can't hang out with you guys!-?" Mark shouted to.

"I'm sorry man, but..." Alexander said.

"Is this because I hate the goddamn Japanese?-!" Mark growled.

Andrew sighed. "Yeah..."

Mark threw his drink on the floor and ran out of the restaurant, flipping off his friends on the way.


Alexander, Andrew, Jacob, and Joshua were hanging out in an alley.

They noticed someone slowly walking towards them.

His hair was ruffled and his eyes had dried tears under them. He held a knife, which he gripped tightly. The knife had 'Kenny' engraved in it.

"Mark?" Alexander whispered.

"SHUT UP!" Mark barked, surprising everyone.

"I freaking loved you guys!" he said, with more tears coming out of his eyes. "All of you were actually one of my first GODDAMN friends ever!-! AND NOW I CAN'T HANG OUT WITH YOU ASSHOLES?-!-?-!"

Jacob walked up to Mark. "Mark...please..."

"SHUT UP!" Mark barked loudly as he lifted his knife up in the air. "JUST SHUT UP!-!-!"

He stabbed Jacob in the chest, killing Jacob instantly. Alexander, Joshua, and Andrew were immediately shocked to see this gruesome act.

"DUDE PLEASE STOP!-!" Joshua said as he slowly backed away. Mark immediately charged at him and fatally stabbed Joshua in the stomach.

"OH GOD! PLEASE NO!-!" Andrew said with a scared look on his face as he tried to run away. However, Mark charged at Andrew and stabbed him in the back, finishing off Andrew.

Mark slowly turned around to see that Alexander is on the ground with a frightened look on his face.

"NO! STOP!-!" Alexander said as he shed tears and raised his hand. "PLEASE!-!-!-! I'M YOUR FRIEND!-!-!-!"

"SHUT UP!-!-!-!-! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP...!-!-!-!-!" Mark shouted as he shed even more tears. He ran to Alexander and stabbed him in the head, killing Alexander. Mark proceed to continuously stab Alexander, even though he is dead.

Mark closed his eyes and continued to cry as he continued to stab Alexander's corpse.


It was one month since Mark killed his friends.

Mark was hiding in an alley, reading a newspaper he found lying on the ground.

When he killed his friends, he successfully pinned the murder on his uncle Kenny, who was sentenced to twenty years in prison.

Mark knew it was a matter of time before the cops find Mark.

Mark wondered he would avoid them, but his problem was solved when he saw an ad about joining the army...


Mark was an army barracks, still thinking about if his uncle was suffering in prison. His thoughts were interrupted when he saw a young man getting his army uniform.

Mark let out a smirk. "You sure look ready for this," he said.

The young man turned around and saw Mark, who was leaning against the door frame.

He walked up to the young man.

"Mark Walsh."

"COTTON HILL!-!"


After that torpedo incident, Mark managed to stay at Costa Rica.

He liked it there, mostly because the fact he can hide from the cops.

Mark wondered if Cotton was alive.

It was only a matter time before the world ended...


As he walked out of the Everfree forest. He wondered where he was. He saw a grey pegasus with a blond mane and tail and crossed-eyes.

Mark walked up to the pegasus, who turned out to be Derpy Hooves.

They became friends and Mark lived with Derpy, though they didn't have a romantic relationship.

Eventually, Mark had his own house built. He eventually learned that Pinkie Pie was throwing a welcome party for somepony new in Ponyville.

He realized that that was Cotton Hill.




Mark finished letting the memories haunt him.

He let out a single tear as he laid on the cloud.

"I'm sorry Alexander Dean, Andrew Devin, Jacob Springer, and Joshua Ziff." he whispered. "I'm sorry..."