I Killed Fiddy Men, Not Ponies

by LtMajorDude

Nerd meets 4 Eyes

Cotton showed his friends around Ponyville. He thought that he should show Twilight first.

"So where're we going again?" Bill asked.

Cotton shrugged. "I dunno." he muttered. "Just taking ya guys to meet some of AJ's friends. Maybe that purple nerd horse..."

Dale grinned. "WE GET TO VISIT TWILIGHT FIRST!-?"

Cotton sighed. "Yeah..." he muttered. "Follow me."

Eventually he took them to Twilight's library.

All of them, except Cotton and Dale, were surprised to see a large tree house.

Hank went up to the door and knocked on it.

Spike came to the door and opened it. "Yes? May I hel..."

"HOLY CELESTIA!" Dale screamed. "IT"S SPIKE!"

Dale immediately ran up to Spike and picked him up.

"HEY!" Spike shouted as he struggled to free himself. "Let me go!"

"Let's see if I can use him as a lighter like in that Apple Family Reunion episode!" Dale said with a silly grin.

Bill, Boomhauer, and Kahn were surprised at the talking dragon while Hank slapped Dale on the back of the head.

"Damn it, Dale. Let him go!" Hank ordered.

Dale whined as he put down Spike in the ground. Hank just shook his head.

Twilight eventually walked in the room. "Is something wrong Spi..."

Just when Dale was gonna shout something, Boomhauer immediately put his hoof on Dale's mouth, "Dang o' calm down Gribble man yo OCC man yo don't jump the shark man just like that Equestria Girls, man did it jump the shark, man, I tell you what..." Boomhauer said.

Twilight looked confused as Boomhauer continued talking. "I'm sorry, what?"

Hank coughed for a bit. "Oh don't worry, he always talks like this."

Twilight stared at Hank for a bit and then smiled and raised her hoof. "Oh...um...hi. I'm Twilight Sparkle."

Hank smiled back. "Hey, I'm Hank Hill. These are my friends Dale, Bill, Boomhauer, and Kahn."

Cotton walked up. "Hank's mah son." he said in a negative tone.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "You didn't tell me you had a son. That must be great!"

"Yeah...'great'" Cotton thought as he rolled his eyes.

"...man, GracieXG.H. Dang ol'...you know what man forget about it man." Boomhauer said as he crossed his arms.

"So, um, what brings you here?" Twilight asked.

"Hank and his friends need a place to stay." Cotton answered. "Ya wanna take one in?"

"Dad?" Hank whispered to Cotton. "Why are you dragging us and forcing us into other people's, I mean ponies' home?"

Cotton chuckled. "What's the matter?" he whispered back, but in a childish tone. "Is Hankie Wankie afraid of some little pony girlies?"

Hank gritted his teeth and was gonna say something but then Twilight said:

"I can take in Hank."

Hank blinked and stared at her.

Twilight blushed and said, "You seem like a nice pony I can talk to..."

As Hank blushed, Cotton smiled and said to the guys, "Problem solved! C'mon! Let's go find somepony else!"

As they went away, it was just only Hank, Twilight, and Spike.

"So...um..." Hank said nervously. "What do you think about propane?"

"Propane?" Spike asked.

Hank looked nervous. "There is propane here right?"

Twilight and Spike looked at each other.

Twilight replied, "Well...Yeah..." Hank smiled widely like Dale when he saw Twilight Sparkle.

"But we haven't used it that much..." Spike said.

Hank smiled. "Well I'm gonna give you 14 very compelling reasons to switch to propane." He said, using his trademark salesman tone. Twilight and Spike just looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

---

Mark was lying on a cloud.

He formed another cloud and shaped it to look like his late friend Jacob Springer.

Jacob was a friendly teenager who remained calm and rarely got angry, even when insulted.

Mark let out a tear. Jacob was an innocent person, yet he was the first for Mark to kill.

"The last thing he did was to calm me down politely..." Mark whispered. "AND I KILLED HIM!"

Mark continued to sob on top of his cloud.

Comments

[Lag Incarnate]

Damn, poor Mark...
On the plus side, it seems Hank will be able to survive this new world. Still not sure about Boomhauer though.