Ever since the 'death' of her sister had Sweetie Belle been growing more and more towards herself. She saw once beloved friends almost never again due to her sadness. The only time they actually saw her was at school. When either Apple Bloom, Scootaloo or even Cheerilee tried to speak to her, they never managed to get a straight response from her. The death of Rarity had an even greater impact on her than anypony could have ever expected it to be. From the cheery, little filly she always used to be, to even more silent than the grave and living a lonely life.
Not even Magnum and Pearl didn't had it as tough as the little Sweetie but they couldn't bare the sight of their remaining daughter either. The sadness that ran over her face was more than devastating for the both of them. Yet no matter what they tried, there was nothing that seemed to able to cheer her up.
Even the teasing of the fillies Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon became less and less as she just didn't react to it. But they told her one thing as a joke, something they better couldn't have spoken. For they said that her sister was killed by a vampony because of something that was always different. A rumor that came into existence because the two bullies had heard the story of the Crusaders encounter with the winged Rarity.
At one point in time did the remarks caused some wires to snap into the mind of the young filly and she begged the two to stop. But the two bullies didn't know of stopping whatsoever. And it was when the spoke one more word that disrespected her deceased sister, that Sweetie entered a moment of blind and pure rage. Without a warning she just brawled the two of them like they were nothing.
Luckily for them both did Apple Bloom and Scootaloo manage to contain the raging filly whose tears streamed down her face. But the words never left the young filly’s mind as the possibility was there for her. In secret, she never bought the reasons given to her of how Rarity truly passed away.
But one day, a day which laid months after the ceremonial funeral of her sister did Sweetie found herself staring at a moon that was light reddish of color. The filly stood against the window sill as her green rimmed eyes just stared at the rock in the skies as the text of a song she and her sister loved more than any other one. Softly she sang the song towards the moon in the hope that her beloved sister would be able to hear it.
~~~~
Rarity on the other end had some mixed feelings on that same night as well. Both Trixie and Fluttershy were nowhere to be found. They were both asleep in their respectable rooms and she just sat upon the stone throne. Her eyes were gazing with a relaxed look over to the oaken door.
The unicorn left her throne after a few seconds and made her way over to the stained glass windows. Instead of looking at the images they held, she looked further than them. She looked over to the same red moon where her sister gazed on that very night. It was the same song that entered her mind as well. She hummed the tunes of it before both of the sister sung the song together, at the same time. Miles apart from one another, but almost appearing to be next to each other like the true sisters they were.
~But she sees a star, which guides her the way~
~Before she goes to bed, she’ll look at the same moon~
~Even though I’m far away, it calms you when I say~
~I’m close to you, very close~
~Take me with you in your heart, that way we share the pain~
~I’m close to you, I’ll stay close to you~
~So far away...~
While the sisters sung the lyrics of the song, there were tears which made their way from their eyes. They traveled over their cheeks they fell on either a cold castle floor or the warm rug of a bedroom. A clear, watery tear landed on the warm rug while a thick, murky blood one splattered on the cold floor. The both of them could only guess what the next morning would bring for them.
My... my feels.... congratulations Lady Rarity.... you have made my heart beat for the poor sisters forever separated.
.....there is nothing to be said except...I....I don't know...something needs to be said but...wow just....this is gut wrenching level of feels... this is....I can't even.
Congrats Rarity...a great story with the perfect ending. I don't want it to end but it's over and I am happy with how it ended. Great job, I expect the hardcover copy in the post
I have been with this story since the beginning and have loved every chapter. If you ever release a book of this story, I will buy it the second I find out.
A great end to a great history. Have my thanks for sharing with us such a great piece of art.
*hugs* Thank you for the story.
Overall the story was well put together, there were a few errors here and there, but overall they weren't too distracting.
Ending felt a bit rushed but I got the impression that it was to lay foundations for a sequel.
I love eeeettttt~~~ I want maor!!
That was awesome. I hope there is a sequel.
cosmic flash
You and me both.
sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall sequall now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now
I've been following this story for a long time now. I just... I can't believe it's over. I knew the story was closing to an end, but I was really shocked when I noticed the complete tag. Though it was unexpected, I am really happy how it ended. It even let us with the hope of a sequel.
There are some things that I didn't like that much at the end. I feel like the encounter of Rarity and Fluttershy was really rushed. Come on! We were waiting it since chapter 6, I was really expecting something better. It was a little disappointed but still was good. And I'm not sure if I liked what you did to Trixie. I was really expecting her to become Rarity's servant, but on her own will after that kiss or at least something better than that quick battle. It feel like you rushed both Fluttershy and Trixie at the end, like if you forgot about them and then added them just quickly in the chapter.
That last part with Sweetie Belle was really full of feelings. Poor little Sweetie needs her big sister or she's going to break apart.
Anyway, this is one great story that I for sure will read again. It have lots of grammar errors I won't deny it, I'm well aware that English isn't your native language, but the story is interesting enough to make you forget about them. It still make me sad that it's over. This is the kind of stories that you want to last forever, but everything have to come to and end at some point. It's been 35 weeks since I found this story, I was really used to it that is going to be hard not having more.
Thanks you Rarity Belle for this amazing story, I hope you make more like this.
It's over? No! How can this be? I've can't even... No!
I've also followed this story since the beginning and all and all, I am pleased with the ending. I only grumble at how fast it seemed with Fluttershy. That's been building up for so long and then, poof, done and over like that. I was really hoping for more, but perhaps I will get that with a sequel. *prays*
Also, despite it being shown that Luna can sense the presence of unnatural beings, she didn't seem able to detect her at the Gala. I did find that strange, as well as Celestia not noticing it. I figure they would have of anyone.
There is one more teensy little thing more, something that I feel a deep seated rage growing. Threatening to overtake my sanity and become that vampire hunter I've imagined being.
How dare you do that to my waifu! Trixie was meant for greatness, not to lick the hooves of another!
Enmity... it grows.
Silliness aside, I loved this story and I truly hope to see a sequel if there is one in the plans.
Mysteries lay under our very eyes and yet we fail to see what lies behind those mysteries.....
But something tells me that we have not heard the tale of Sweetie Belle and Rarity completely
We shall see will happen next.....
Sequel perhaps?
Who knows?
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5745632 5745833 5746058 5746165 5746274 5746668 5747009 5748275 If I may cut in with the tears, the demands and the questions. Combined with any other thing I may have missed, you might want to take a loot at this little thingy when it comes to the possibility of a sequel, as well as the tons of grammatical and structural issues it has.
Who needs sleep anyway?!
5749630
We can wait, sweetness. *nuzzles*
5749630 you do
You need it cause you need to be in good health for you to do what you do
I guess
I truly don't know what to say at the end of this amazing 1.5(ish) year journey, so... banana i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--FjSkN2nq--/17o9jz54r7tntjpg.jpg
This was very good, I just finished reading it.
5776218
What if I told you, that that is the point of it?
5862552 Hmhmhmh, the story is quite the long one, isn't it? Though I'm glad you decided to drop a review now, before the endgame might turn a thing or two around. But I'm glad you enjoyed the story so far and who knows, the answers you will get might differ from the ones you are having now. Complex stories are a thing I love to write, this being no exception and was the first of its kind for me.
And yes, I do keep the secret of who exactly turned Rarity a secret. Perhaps, she will never know who did the horrible deed. And one could argue that her friends indeed gave up too quickly on her, but you have to keep in mind that Rarity always had been this little drama queen. Chances are that they decided to make use of the opportunity and give themselves some rest as well. Possible explanation, albeit one that doesn't really sound possible.
I want to thank you for writing this review and hope that you will enjoy the rest of the story as much as you did the first couple dozen chapters.
MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
Alright. First of all I must give you a BIG thanks for this wonderful story, Rarity Belle! It was truly a masterpiece which I read from beginning to end in a mere few days and which kept me awake until 3 a.m. on friday and saturday and 5 a.m. on sunday in order to finish it! I litterally cried at the Moment of Silence chapter and during Rarity's last visit to her parental house, as well as during this epilogue, and that happened in a student dorms room I share with 4 other guys who don't even know what Mlp is! (well, lucky for me they were all already asleep :))) ) I also thank you for having the heart to give her a new beginning rather than a cruel second death in the flames of Carousel Boutique or a takeover of the beast within her when she was crowned queen of all vamponies! This is probably gonna be a very long comment, so sorry for that, but I really have to say some things!
Now that thanks are in order - feelings: I always felt throught this story that not only the loneliness, the hunger and her uncontrolled deeds (like the killing of Fancy Pants) brought Rarity great suffering, but also her still good soul that overblamed herself. I mean, throughout the first 44 chapters, which encompassed one year of undeath for her, she had only killed one pony, and that was at the beginning when she could not control herself! She always managed to still her natural instincts from draining ponies, she spared the life of ponies that tried to kill or torture her (Twilight, Trixie and Fleur) more than once and she tried to be friendly towards all her former friends the whole time, yet she always blamed herself and suffered for what she was and what she COULD have done! (like killing Sweetie Belle, all the while forgetting that, in the end, it was also her who had saved the filly from herself) Poor poor Rarity! I just remember the moment Spike broke into her shop, destroyed a precious family heirloom of hers and just because she told him it would never work between them in a moment of anger, the little bugger told her she's cold and no longer the Rarity he knew, and even stopped speaking with her forever! FOREVER! THE NERVE he had! Sure, he was heartbroken, but if he truly cared for her he would at least have thought afterwards that maybe it was only the rage in Rarity that spoke, that maybe the way he betrayed her trust and broke into her house on a HUNCH and even destroyed a beloved possesion of hers also broke her heart, As I see it, he at least owed her a second chance if not a downright APOLOGY, as she only said what she said after he betrayed her trust! (4474557 well said sir! I also believe Spike was in the wrong!) Same for Rainbow Dash! She has thrown a porcelain cup in her friend's FACE because of her suspicions, and then didn't even feel regret until Rarity supposedly died! What if she was wrong and she had just forever damaged the face of her friend and left her blind? Sure, Rarity really was a vampony and that didn't happen, but rainbow did not have any proof of that so she was a selfish jerk for both doing it and not feeling bad about it! (although she can be a jerk in the show too, so I won't complain about it not being immersive... ) Anyway, bottom line, this story made me feel a lot for Rarity and better understand the suffering an undead with a great and generous heart has to go through, (if I ever meet Dracula now I know to say no to being turned - you know, being from Transilvania and all... ) because that's what she truly was for me. Beside the moments her primal instincts took control of her, (especially in Hospital horror and sweet revenge), she was the same kind and generous mare trapped in the body of a predator! She even treated Fleur well while she was a slave and chose not to supress the mare's sexual desires or kill her even though she could, She shared a confortable bed with Fleur and never overworked her or overfed from her, even if this was the mare that tried to kill her back at the graveyard. You were no monster darling! Oh, how I wish she could hear me before she released fleur and all hell's broken loose... If she'd have merely expanded her control over Fleur's mind to the point she had latter done with Trixie, the mare wouldn't have pestered her anymore in bed and Sweetie would've been spared the childhood of loneliness and sorrow she had to go through! Rarity's remorses, consciouseness and good soul were her downfall, and I couldn't help but feel her grief and sympathyze with her throughout the novel while doing the same for Sweetie now... You sir, mister author, are a master of emotion! Gefeliciteerd!
The ending, despite feeling a bit rushed with Flutttershy maybe, was excellent. I was glad Rarity and Flutttershy could finally be happy together and that our favorite fashionista rejected the darkness and did not try to enslave Equestria! (I believe that kind of ending didn't fit the atmosphere of this story...)
Questions: I'm still a bit in the dark about a few things - I'm just curious why 1. Sweetie Belle was scared for her life of waking up her sister when the CMC were at the boutique in chapters 15 and 16. I mean sure, many things were strange about her recently and probably Sweetie had her suspicions by then, but she hadn't read about vamponies in Twilight's book yet, nor had she witnessed the red irises and the wings just yet, I just can't wrap my mind around the idea that Sweetie would've been that scared of her beloved siter she looked up to.
2. In chapter 16, why didn't Rarity hear the CMC while they tried to escape? It is confirmed in the book she had better hearing as a vampire, but somehow she didn't hear them.
3. Did you imagine a bit of the history of Vamponies and Shiva Luna revealed to Rarity back in chapter 22? I know you chose not to include Luna's speech in the story, but it left me very curious and even though it's fine if you won't say anything about it (it adds to the mystery anf atmosphere of the story to have more secrets after all), I'm just curious if you thought about some of it when you wrote the story.
4. Why did nopony try to bring Fleur for questioning after her lie was confirmed and Twilight had found Rarity inside the burning boutique? Hmm, guess Equestrian police is just as bad as the one in my country!
5. Why did Rarity choose to go to the galla? Was it merely to see her former friends for one last time before she would begin a new life? Or was it that she hoped to make a great impression upon the elites of Canterlot and maybe even settle there and follow her childhood dream now that her old life was gone? (like being an excentric fashionista/aristocrat in Canterlot) I know she had nothing left, but she could simply seduce and enslave a rich pony to acquire their money or sell some precious ancient relics from Shiva's castle and then buy one of the finest mansions in Canterlot, and I somehow felt she might've had a plan that she abandoned because of her argument with Luna or some afterthought. Also, was it Luna that sent her the galla ticket, and if yes, why was she angry at Rarity? Did she figure everything out, including the murder of Fleur and Wild? If she knew Rarity would be alive and at Shiva's castle it means she might've known Shiva was about to crown her, but did Luna connect all the dots?
6. Same as 3, only about the argument Luna had at the galla with Miss Mistique. What was the argument about after all? Or is this a mistery to be revealed in the sequel?
7. How was the future in which Rarity became queen of vamponies and conquered Equestria averted? What was it that Twilight specifically did to alter that course of history? Or could the Twilight from the future have come from... an alternative future? I'm still a bit confused by that, as Twilight had little contact with Rarity after the events.
8. Most important of all, do you still have the time and will to write a sequel? I thinkl I can speak in the name of all of us that read the whole fic when I say it would be an utmost pleasure to read it!
9. Also, if I have a good idea about a short fic based on yours (something regarding Spike's feelings after Rarity's official "death" in chapter 51 as they were not covered in the story), would it be fine with you if I wrote said fic? I won't publish it before I send it to you and I get your permission to do so, of couse, (If you don't like it enough I won't publish it at all) but I won't write it either if that's not ok with you. Can you give me a chance though? I feel this story has reawakened my desire to create and I'd be thrilled to share my idea at least with someone as talented as you if it won't get to be shared with everypony!
Finally, once again, sorry for the length of the comment and Gefeliciteerd! Feel free not to answer if you don't have the time to do so!
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How could you mess with my feels in this way?