30: Portrait of a Mare [Comedy]
((Prompt: 
(There were other images to choose from, but for obvious reasons, I picked the one with Applejack in it.) ))
Tally Ho knew it was bad form to stroke his mustache overmuch. A little once in a while lent him an air of thoughtfulness, but too much stroking made him look like he had a compulsion. The framed print before him, however, had him stroking his mustache til he wore it nearly down to a bare lip. It was like nothing he had ever seen before. It was a divine experience, looking upon this piece. He felt as though he had not been a complete pony before his eyes fell upon it. Why, he nearly dropped his monocle!
“Ennui,” he said, beckoning to his companion. “Ennui, my dear, come look. You simply must see this!”
Ennui gave him a small, tired sigh, brushing a black forelock out of her eyes. “What is it zis time, Tally? Another basket of fruit, hm?”
Tally placed a hoof at her back and gestured to the photograph. “Look, love.”
Her eyes widened ever so slightly, and a soft gasp was drawn from her. “Oh my...”
“Indeed.” Tally nodded sharply. “I've never seen its like before.”
Ennui reached her hoof out, stopping short of actually touching the piece out of reverence. “Ze lighting... Ze raw, melancholic emotion!”
“Look at her expression,” Tally said. “You can truly feel her existential struggle to define herself in an increasingly consumeristic world.”
“Her eyes,” Ennui said, staring at the picture. “Zey reflect ze plight of ze working-class pony as she faces a future of uncertainty.”
“Whoever took this is a master,” said Tally. “I must meet them!”
A voice rose behind the two patrons. “Zen you are fortunate, for I, Photo Finish, am here.”
Tally Ho and Ennui turned around to see the strangely-dressed photographer striking a dramatic pose. Beside her, an orange pony fidgeted with the hem of her dress. “Can't believe Rarity talked me into goin' to this thing,” she grumbled to herself. “Wouldn't even let me wear my hat!”
Ennui gasped. “Is zat ze model?”
Photo Finish nodded curtly. “Zis is Applezach,” she said, pushing Applejack forward. “You may look and ask questions, but you may not touch.”
Tally dipped his head low. “Miss, it is an absolute honor! Your pose is so rugged and natural, you must tell me what your method is.”
Applejack blinked. “My... method?”
Ennui crowded her companion out of the way. “Miss, if I might ask. Your expression in ze piece... so contemplative, yet tempered with a touch of uncertainty and, dare I name it, fear. What thoughts were going through your head when zis moment was captured? I must know.”
Applejack coughed into her hoof. “Well, ya see...”
*
Applejack whistled as she strode through the last field between Sweet Apple Acres and Ponyville. She was due at Carousel Boutique at two o'clock, and she aimed to arrive a little early. Though not too early; last time she had shown up at the Boutique before she was due, she had learned a little too much about Rarity's activities with Fluttershy after their weekly spa dates.
Then again, privately, she could admit a part of her could stand to know a little more about what went on with those two. 'Test-fitting for a client,' Rarity had hastily explained, but that blush on her cheeks told a different story...
Applejack's ear flicked as she heard a noise behind her. “Is somepony there?” she asked, turning to see.
She was blinded by a bright flash.
“I, Photo Finish, have just captured ze perfect image!”
*
“Uh...” Applejack rubbed the back of her neck. “Pretty much what y'all were sayin'. 'Bout workin', an' the future existin', that sorta stuff. Yep.”
Alternate title: Ceci N'est Pas Une Pomme.
And that makes thirty. Boy, Applejack has had a tough month. The poor mare's been frozen, beaten by children, arrested more than once, crammed in a closet and abducted by aliens... she's had her heart broken, her leg broken, her trees think she's evil... she's been duplicated by a magical mishap, duplicated by an errant changeling, revealed herself to be a changeling... her folks have died off, her grandma's died off, she's died off at least once...
Poor girl needs a break.
As do I. It'll be a week or two before I start posting the next compilation. Gotta let my typin' fingers cool off, then build up a buffer zone in case I miss a prompt or two, and draw up another cover image. Next in line is Twilight Sparkle, last of the Mane Six. Hope you folks have enjoyed the series so far, and I hope to hear from you in a couple weeks when I post Thirty Days, Thirty Twilights.
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Hahaha, I love this story!
And a great note to end the series, I need to catch in a few that I missed but love your work. Here´s hoping for Twilight. 
Well shit, now I wanna know if AJ ever gets to learn more about Rarity and Shy's after spa activities. Hooves-on if you know what I mean.
The AJ compilation is over!
Aw, heck. Was still fun. Can't believe 30 days passed so quick.
That's not necessarily a bad thing y'know.
3240872 No, but I imagine it still takes a lot out of you.
3240755 My headcanon, that's precisely the leverage Rarity used to get her to dress up and go to the art show.
3245967 Better late than never! Glad to have you reading. And yes, Rarity tends to be an attention hog.
3246040 Family-shipping. I like it. Though, you'd have to be careful about the use of the term, lest you draw unwanted attention from the "incest is wincest" crowd.
Hm, maybe I should have just made a compilation comment at the end, instead of commenting on so many individual chapters. Oh well.
Anyway! You're definitely very good at these thirty-minute mini-fics. I don't think I could write most of these if I took hours to try.
But yeah, considering your little summary of AJ's month, Twilight's in for a fun ride once her turn starts.
To my embarrassment I forgot that there wasn't a Twilight yet, and I thought this was the very last of them. So, I come here preparing to write some sort of overlong comment about your achievements and whatnot, and now...
Eh, I'll have another month to think about something then. Some damn good stories in this one, looking forward to the last!
3249676 Twilight is the new Twist. She got her wings/cutie mark and was really proud of them, and now we don't talk to her anymore.
After Twilight, I plan to put up a blog post outlining the stats on stuff like which genre tags I used the most, which ships appeared most often, things like that. It'll be fun.
3247645 I'll try not to disappoint, once I get that one written. The idea is in the queue because I am entertained by the thought of just how terrible Applejack would be at being a vampire.
3247935 ...And then Twilight gets a three-year vacation, too!
3248623 I don't mind all the individual comments at all. Getting feedback on the individual chapters is more useful than one comment at the end where only the later chapters are still fresh in your mind, and honestly, it's nice just seeing those extra little numbers in the notification box, too.
Is that a Problem Sleuth reference I see?
3378982
I feel tricked! 30 prompts, and not a single AppleDash. And there were several Rarijacks to boot!
In all seriousness, I suspect you don't like AppleDash at all. And only one Twijack. Hmph!
3390697 Is there really no AppleDash in there? I could've swore I threw at least one...
Maybe I'm getting it mixed up with my Rainbow Dash compilation. I know there's two or three AppleDashes in that one.
Sorry. It's nothing specifically against AppleDash; you'll notice the rest of my compilations are light on Dash-shipping as well. I tend not to ship Blue Pony as much as the others.
There is more than one Twijack, though. Chapter 8 is the sweetest purple-horse-on-orange-horse lovin' I've ever written, and 21 ought to count as two Twijacks.
3391587
I'll make sure to look at the Dash compilation too. It just felt like something was missing in here! I mean, AJ was with everyone /except/ Dash! Even Luna! 
There's some sad ones and some with Dash /in/ it, but no outright AppleDash!
And oh yes. I'd forgotten about the prison one. Mainly remembered the Double Date!
Don't forget- Applejack is a silly pony!
I can't believe I'm almost done with this collection. I've been reading it for years! :O