• Published 25th Aug 2013
  • 12,090 Views, 243 Comments

An Apple A Day - Esle Ynopemos

A collection of thirthy-minute short stories about the rootinest, tootinest farm-filly this side of the Everfree. There'll be a chapter a day for thirty days. I ain't no fancy arithmeticker, but that adds up to a whole month of good, health

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29: The Race Time Forgot [Comedy]

((Prompt: The pony race that time forgot.))

“It's time we settled this once'n for all.”

“What, you're gonna race me?”

“No, I'm gonna beat you in a race. There's a difference.”

“Oh please! I'll run it twice before you even get to the halfway point! It won't even be fun!”

“I ain't talkin' 'bout no fluffy cloud-course. I'm talkin' a real race. I'm talkin' Mustang Run.”

“It doesn't matter if we're running to the moon! There's no way you're beating me!”

“We'll just see about that.”

“Yeah, we will.”

Time Turner's ears both flicked as two mares shouted his name simultaneously. The orange farm-pony and the blue weather captain were both well-known around town, but he was terrible at remembering names. It seemed like they were always changing on him. He raised his head. “Uh, yes?”

The pegasus puffed out her chest. “We need you to time our race so my awesome victory can be recorded for posterity.”

The orange one rolled her eyes. “What she means is, we need you to keep time an' make sure she ain't cheatin'.”

Time Turner nodded slowly. “Oh. Okay, I guess I can manage that. Um, when were you planning on starting?”

The orange pony grinned. “Right now!” She spun around and darted off down the road.

The blue one sputtered on the dust that had been kicked up. “What—hey!” She shot off after her. “And I'm the one you're worried about cheating?” Whoops and laughter echoed through the air as the two disappeared into the distance.

“Oh dear,” Time Turner muttered. He dug into his chest of supplies. Hopefully those two wouldn't mind it if he fudged the time just a little. They hadn't given him any time to prepare, so he would just add thirty seconds or so to account for the time it would take to find his stopwatch.

“Mister Turner?”

With a loud thump, he hit his head on the lid of his chest. “Ow!” He rubbed the back of his head and looked up to see a grey pegasus with very distinctive eyes. “Ah, Miss... ahm... Dinky-Doof?”

She shook her head, smiling. “It's Derpy Hooves.”

“Of course, sorry,” Time Turner apologized. “I'm terrible with names.” His brows furrowed. “Has it... always been that?”

Derpy blinked. “As long as I can remember. Why?”

The timekeeper waved his hooves. “No reason. What can I do for you, Miss Derpy?”

She pulled out a mangled heap of what had once been a wall clock. “I don't know what went wrong,” she said. “It was all safe and secure on the wall one minute, but then I bumped it and it came crashing down!”

Time Turner gave her an understanding smile. “Gravity sometimes does that. Have no worries, Miss Derpy, it shouldn't take me very long to have this in working order again.”


Time Turner heard a twin pair of thumps on the ground behind him as he handed off the finished clock to Derpy. He turned curiously to see the farmer and the weatherpony collapsed on the ground, panting.

The blue one raised a hoof in the air. “Ha, I win,” she breathed.

The orange one poked her in the ribs. “No ya didn't. I had you by a pace and a half at the finish.”

“You... did not.” The pegasus's chest heaved. “I was like, a whole mile ahead of you! I could've walked the whole last stretch and you still wouldn't have caught me!”

“I reckon you were walkin', considerin' how bad I beat ya.”

Both mares looked up at Time Turner. “Which one of us won?” asked the orange one.

“Tell her how much I beat her by,” demanded the blue.

Time winced. “Oops. I'm sorry, girls. I got distracted, and forgot to start my stopwatch.” He grinned weakly. “But, uh, if it means anything, it seems like you were both very fast?”