The Human Side of Things

by Gylden Glor

Friendship is Magic: Part 1

My eyes open and I see that I'm on a set of stairs.

I begin to descend, giving way to reckless abandon as I decide to keep an open mind.

The stairs chime underneath my feet, and I watch as the celestial patterns in each step reverberates with the contact. It makes a pleasant sound.

I reach the bottom of the stairs, and there's another door. I open it without hesitation, and step through, allowing the light to absorb my body.

When I open my eyes again, I see that I'm in a dense forest. I frown as I try to see past the fine mist settling around the area.

I take a single step forward, and feel a searing pain in my leg. I let out a cry of pain, and pull back my foot in a jerk of instinct. Blood leaks from the wound, and I stare at the rather large, blood-covered spike on the ground.

"That's odd...," I mutter to myself. "Who would have.......put........that.........

"There............."

The world goes black as I collapse.

---

I open my eyes for a third time. Huh...I think I'm starting to notice a pattern here...

Struggling to sit up results in spots floating in my vision. I let out a puff of shocked air as I fall back onto whatever the ground...

Wait, this isn't ground...

It's...it's soft...

It's a bed...

I look around, and realize that I'm in a cottage of some sort. As I observe my surroundings, I hear the frenzied fall of what seems to be hooves upon wood.

"Oh, you're awake!" I hear a feminine voice announce. I turn to my head to see the source, but there's too much pain lacing through my nervous system.

"What...?" I manage to croak. "What did you do to me?"

"Oh, I didn't do anything to you...please, believe me, if you don't mind...the thorn you stepped on was part of a plant...it injected neurotoxins into your system...it would have killed you if you were a pony...it was part of a carnivorous plant..."

I take a labored breath, and I hear the hooves approaching. A moment later, I see what seems to be the face of a pony hovering above my eyes. She seems to be...human, to a fault. That is, it doesn't look like the face of an animal, but of an individual.

I feel a glass of water being pressed to my lips, and I smile gratefully as she gently tilts my head so I can take a sip. "Thank you," I whisper.

"Oh, please, don't thank me," she pleads. "It's just my job to look after endangered species...I've never seen an animal like you, so I know that you must be endangered..."

"I'm not from around here," I respond with a slight smile. "My species don't tend to hang around this part of reality..."

"Oh, you call the world reality? That's an interesting form of cultural belief..."

I frown as the pony turns to walk away. "Wait...it's not...cultural...I'm note even from this...universe..."

The hooves stop, and the yellow face, blue eyes, and pink mane all reappear. "I'm sorry?"

"I'm not from this universe," I whisper. The pony frowns at me, and shocks me by immediately flipping me onto my chest, and strapping my wrists together with some sort of leather restraint.

"Come with me," she orders, walking away with the leash connected to my restraint. She freezes as she turns to me, her legs shaking in fear. "That is, if you don't mind...please, I'm only doing this for you...I really don't want to, but you have to come with me if you want to get better..."

I blink a few times before shaking my head and sighing. Whatever - may as well get this over with...

I begrudgingly follow the butter pony - who I now realize is a Pegasus - through a town. My skin crawls as ponies stare at me. Once we get to our destination, a hospital, I start to protest when she tries to commit me to the psychiatric ward.

"But I'm not crazy!" I declare. "I swear, I'm from another universe! My universe was merging with another, which was causing rapid fluctuations in space and time." All the ponies in the room have stopped doing what they're doing to listen to me - I have them intrigued. "A fluctuation occurred that caused a pocket of volatile gas to be placed in my study - it detonated on contact with oxygen, and it tore half of my limbs off. I was sucked through another fluctuation, and I was expelled from both universes, and a man in a suit told me to open the door to visit a random universe. I opened the door, and I walked down some stairs made of stars, and I ended up here."

The butter Pegasus frowns at me, and looks to one of the nurses holding my arms. She nods, and I'm dragged away, dejected yet...not knowing what I had expected.

They gingerly place me in a room, and make sure to lock my door - should I prove to be a threat. I sigh as I realize that this is what my life will be forced to become. I'll just have to lie that I'm crazy to get out...

Oh, great. A life of studying merging universes has become a life of lying about being insane...

---

The Next Day...

"You sure about this?" A doctor asks. I stare at the ceiling with a hefty sigh.

"Still not doing electro-shock therapy," I shout out.

"Yes...he isn't crazy...he must be from another universe..." I immediately recognize Fluttershy's voice, and I feel a spark of confusion.

"Yes! It says in the book that the One that walks on two legs will descend the stairs made of stars!" I don't recognize the second voice, but I'm very happy to hear it.

"Finally!" I cry as I roll out of the bed. "I guess my freedom from this tedium has come in the shape of something totally random, huh?"

"Random?" I hear the second voice ask. Hooves fall on tiles, and a lavender unicorn comes into view. I'd be shocked, if it weren't for the fact that I've already seen unicorns. And their magic. Hey, their universe, their rules. "It was fate. The book on the Elements of Harmony states that a...'man' from another universe will descend the Stairs of Stars to join the other Elements! Fluttershy said that you said that you did that, so you must be the seventh Element of Harmony, and you can help us defeat Nightmare Moon?"

"Who?" I ask, confused. A glance out the window to see if I'm being pranked by the ponies reminds me of something. "Also, why hasn't the sun come up yet? Is the planet stuck in some sort of odd orbital spin due to gravitational force?"

The unicorn stares at me for a moment before sighing. "Oh, I've got a lot to explain to you..."

---

I nod. "Alright. Your universe, your rules - I'm willing to embrace your reality, so long as you fully believe that I'm from my own reality."

The lavender unicorn, now introduced properly as Twilight Sparkle, beams at me. "Good! Okay, so...that's the first thing here about the Elements of Harmony...now, the rest of them are in..." She gulps. "It's in...th-th-the Everfree Forest!" All the mares around Twilight chorus the words of fear along with her, and I'm left staring at them in confusion. After the brash, confident introduction received from the cyan Pegasus known as Rainbow Dash, I would have expected her to be less fearful of a forest.

"The who now?" I ask. Twilight sighs, and points.

I turn around, and see that we're before the entrance to a giant forest.

"When the fuck did we get here?" I ask.

"Language!" Rarity cries. "Please, watch your language!"

"Sorry," I sigh. "I guess we'd better get going, huh?"

"Now, hold up!" Applejack interrupts. "Y'all're seemin' mighty acceptin' of this. Are ya' sure ya' don' know anythin' about this? 'Cus Ah wouldn't be half as calm as ya' in yer situation..."

Rainbow Dash nods in agreement as she flaps her wings to hover before me. "Yeah! Are you some sorta spy!?

I sigh as I push the cyan Pegasus away from my face. "No. I'm just glad that I have somebody that doesn't think I'm crazy so I can actually live a normal life...well, as normal as normal gets with a bunch of magical talking ponies..."

"Seems reasonable," Applejack responds. "A'ight, Ah trust'ya. Let's git goin'."

Rainbow Dash and I stare at the orange farmpony for a few moments. "You already trust me/him?" We both ask at the same time. We exchange glances, and I give her a slight smirk. She responds with a tiny, subtle blush.

She wants the D.

"Of course Ah do," Applejack responds. "Ya' seem ta' have honest intentions."

"Yes," I remark. "My intentions are not to murder you and desecrate your corpses with my penis."

Silence. I sigh as the ponies back away a bit. "Sorry; dark humor. Picked it up from the Internet. And Silent Hill." I explain. "In any case...let's get going."

The mares all silently agree, and we continue on our way.

Comments

[Gylden Glor]

2848281 Writing more now, so you won't have to wait long

[hs0003]

Dark humor indeed

[AficionadoAvacado]

Oh God, im laughing my ass off! She totally wants the D.

[Mactinto]

"Yes," I remark. "My intentions are not to murder you and desecrate your corpses with my penis."

oh, he seems cool enough

[Nealj7772]

She responds with a tiny, subtle blush.

She wants the D.

instant favorite

[ThatRandomHuman]

I can't breathe from laughing so hard!

[sirraf]

3095267 yeah lets just pick up this random knife brandishing stranger on the side of the road.