The Human Side of Things

by Gylden Glor

Dragonshy

I let out a deep breath as I tentatively rest my hand on Rainbow Dash's hoof.

"I miss you," I conclude. I just finished telling her all about how Trixie had, for the past week and a half, been doing honest work down at Sweet Apple Acres. She had actually taken my advice to heart, and decided to "spend her minutes more wisely". She's trying to save up enough bits to purchase a performers' permit and a few lessons on magic - so she can actually put some weight behind her claims.

During that week and a half, I had been unable to bring myself to visit the cyan Pegasus. I was too torn up about seeing her like this - so weak, so...helpless...

So, I busied myself with purchasing a new home, furnishings, essentials, sprucing the place up, etcetera, etcetera.

I had to return to Canterlot once or twice on royal summons - each one only lasted the afternoon, and I returned the next morning. Each summons was to help with a bit of technology, and I was paid generously each time I did so. (It was the first thing I told Rainbow Dash about.)

The second thing I told her about was how I tried to visit her with Celestia. The Princess had already known of Rainbow's condition, but she had been too busy to visit. Finally, three days into Rainbow's coma, Celestia was able to come down to Ponyville. I tried to go with her, but I couldn't get into the room. The second I saw the gas mask on Rainbow's face, I fell apart...

Of course, it hurts to speak to her without having any response. But it would hurt even more to be speaking to a stone, because at least here I know there's a chance she'll be waking up sooner or later...

A few seconds pass before a pony walks into the hospital room. I look up in surprise as I immediately withdraw my hand from the cyan Pegasus' hoof. I'm met with Twilight Sparkle's concerned gaze.

"Hey," she a announces before approaching. "I heard you were here..."

I nod. "Yeah...decided to finally visit the poor girl..."

Twilight nods. "Well...just to let you know...we've got to go somewhere." I frown in confusion. "There's a dragon sleeping in a cave North of Ponyville - and the smoke will cover this place for hundreds of years to come. I just want you to know where the girls and I will be."

I stand. "I'll come," I volunteer.

"No; I want you to stay here," she responds. "The girls and I have hooves - we can easily scale the mountain. But you...you could end up hurting yourself and put yourself right in here with Rainbow Dash." I cringe at the thought. "You've got to stay here in Ponyville, Peter. Besides, if I fail, I need somepony to watch after Spike until Celestia sends help."

I nod in submission. "Alright. At least let me see you guys off."

She shakes her head. "Can't have that either, Peter. Fluttershy's already terrified to go - she might end up clinging to you if she finds out you're not coming with us..."

I smirk at the idea. "Yeah...well, I've got to go check on the work they did at my house today, anyway. And I think it's about time I let Rainbow have a bit of time to herself..." I cast a glance at her peaceful (not so peaceful) face.

"Alright. We'll see you later on today, Peter."

I nod as I depart with her. We don't speak until we part ways, at which point we exchange our second farewells for the day.

As I walk home, I watch the smoke drifting over Ponyville. I frown to myself as I decide to forgo Twilight's advice, and perhaps use something that I had developed while I was in Canterlot.

I smile as I remember my time in Canterlot. God, Luna's awesome. She takes everything so seriously, but when we started talking about technology, the first thing she wanted was a way to walk up walls! (A model of which I have here, which is what I could use to scale the mountain.) She and I made some awesome stuff together - fully functional light sabers that don't cause bodily harm; a telescope lens that can identify individual stars and constellations (the one thing Celestia fully approved of); boots that let you move like you're on the moon; boots that made you incredibly fast...

Of course, Celestia had me developing serious things, such as a set of finger-like apparatus that let ponies grab things more easily; a telephone; and an automatic cake baker. Most of them had practical uses, but some of them were for economic stimulation - like the automatic cake baker, and the home gaming consoles we designed. (Only one of which was actually commissioned, mind you.)

I walk into my house and flop down on the couch. I turn on my television set and start to watch some of the crappy first tries at Equestrian television shows. They're entertaining because of how much they suck.

Hey, wait...aren't I supposed to be doing something right now?

Oh, hey, the smoke is spreading further...I hope Twilight is able to-

Oh, fuck...

Eh, I'm sure they can handle it. Besides, this show isn't actually half bad...

---

Thirty Minutes Later...

This show fucking sucks.

I would explain why, but that would mean having to relive it.

I simply turn off the television and toss down the remote in disgust. After much deliberation, I decide to just lay in place and be lazy.

Unfortunately, after five minutes I've got nothing to occupy my mind, which means that a certain blue Pegasus comes creeping in to fill the space. I sigh as I decide to get some alcohol to soothe my nerves.

---

Two Hours Later...

I'm interrupted from drinking my seventh beer by a knock on the door.

With perfect balance and unmatched elegance, I stride to the door and pull it open. I lean against the wooden portal and take a large swig of my beer - to show that I am, in fact, a civilized gentleman.

I'm greeted by a seemingly disgruntled Twilight Sparkle, whose mane is singed in several areas.

"Hello," I announce.

"You're drunk," she states.

"Why; yes," I respond. "Yes, I am." I know that I'm drunk. But I know how to handle my alcohol. I don't slur words or shit.

"...Well, I thought you'd like to know that we managed to get the dragon to relocate - after it nearly killed us, and Fluttershy decided to grow enough spine for several stallions."

"An impressive feat, no doubt."

She nods. "Yeah. She yelled at the dragon and it flew away."

"Why the fuck didn't she do that in the first place?" A small burp escapes. "Excuse me."

"She was petrified," Twilight responds. "In any case, we're safe. Glad to see you were concerned."

"I don't need you bitching at me," I growl at her. Who does she think she is, barging into my house and being so damn rude?

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, Fluttershy was here the whole time, and she wants to talk to you about your visit to Rainbow Dash."

The yellow Pegasus meekly pops her eyes out from behind the wall to look up at me. "Uhm...I heard you were sad that Rainbow Dash was in a coma..."

"Of course I'm sad," I respond. "I'm incredibly fucking sad. And I don't want to talk about it."

"Uhm...okay, but could you at least -"

"Get the hell offa my property," I growl at the pair. "I don't need you two dictating to me...now leave before I call the cops."

"O...Okay...I'm sorry, Peter...maybe another time...if you don't mind, of course..."

I nod as I watch them depart. Twilight gives me a vicious glare, so I give her the finger.

Seriously, who do those two think they are? Barging in here and dictating to me what I should be doing...

Gah, the nerve of some ponies.

---

The Next Morning...

Fuck.

Author's Note:

I wrote this because I got bored and I wanted to entertain myself and shit. So, yeah.

Comments

[AficionadoAvacado]

Peter you nincompoop. Been to long since I used that word. TOMORROWS WORD OF THE DAY SHALL BE NINCOMPOOP!!!!!

[Gylden Glor]

3106412 Peter will use nincompoop in the next chapter because of that.
AND IT WILL BE POSTED NO LATER THAN TOMORROW!

[Manual Control]

Last word.... "Fuck."... Oh my god.... That was funny.

[Gylden Glor]

3107222 It was a reference to Arrested Development, in case you're wondering why I wrote it like that.

[Gylden Glor]

3107270 Thanks! I was thinking of ending it on some elaborate thing, but then I realized that the best way to do so was to be simple.

[Pluma the Fluffy Dragon]

The next morning....