The Human Side of Things

by Gylden Glor

Peter and Rainbow Have a Chat

I smile at my friends in the library.

"So, what's the big news?" Rainbow Dash asks.

"I'm going to be staying with Princess Celestia for a little while," I reveal. The ponies all gasp in surprise, except for Twilight. "We spoke about it through lengthy letters. I'm going to be staying there until we get the department for technological development really rolling."

"Department for hooza-whatsitz?" Rainbow Dash asks.

"The department for technological development," I respond. "She wants to put me in charge of it. Of course, we're gonna have to have an extensive interview before that - and depending on how that interview goes, I may not be gone that long at all."

"Oh, I hope you do well!" Fluttershy announces. "I'm going to miss you, but I want you to be happy..."

"Yeah, me too," Rainbow Dash immediately adds. She doesn't sound particularly motivated, however. I look her over, and realize that she seems to be a bit...dejected? Whatever...

"So, I'll be leaving tomorrow," I announce. "So if any of you wanna hang, today's the day to do it."

Rainbow immediately perks up. "Oh, sweet! Peter, we've totally gotta hang today."

I frown at the cyan Pegasus. "Rainbow, just yesterday you were hating on me for having a 'bad attitude'."

"Yeah, but I wanna see if you kept your word on improving," Rainbow responds. "Now, c'mon - there's something I wanna show you."

I nod with a cocked eyebrow as she darts out of the library. I look to her friends in the room, hoping for some sort of answer. I only get one from Rarity, as all the others just shrug in response to my questioning gaze.

"Perhaps she wants to show you a stunt," Rarity informs me. "Or, perhaps she's...interested in you..."

I blush and barely have time to refute that ridiculous claim as Rainbow Dash pops her head back into the library with a small smirk. "C'mon, what're you waiting for?"

"Uh, be right there," I sputter. I look to the ponies with a shrug. "I guess I'm hanging with Rainbow for today, huh?"

They nod. "Y'all go have fun, pard'ner," Applejack suggests. "If anythin', we can talk later t'day, or early t'morra'."

I nod, and follow Rainbow Dash out the door after hasty farewells. I notice that Pinkie Pie is tapping her hoof to her chin in extreme concentration and thought.

---

After about twenty minutes of walking, Rainbow and I come to a hill overlooking a beautiful plain. Rainbow Dash smiles as she hovers a few yards above the crest, and I sit on a natural rock formation that makes a great seat.

"So, I wanna show you a few tricks, prove to you how awesome I am so you won't forget while you're away," Rainbow announces. "Hold onto your butt!"

I nod with a small smile, and prepare to be amazed.

And I am amazed. As she twists, rolls, and flips, all I can wonder is how the fuck does she manage to keep track of all of the vectors involved? I mean, she told me that she pretty much determines the force and everything on a dime so she can properly adjust her path, but I thought she meant for when she's planning out her tricks. When it comes to this...she's just flying, and using whatever forces are available to do some of the most amazing tricks I've ever seen. Even professional plane-stuntmen wouldn't dare try half of this crap.

"That was amazing!" I cry as Rainbow finally alights next to me. "So you were determining all the vectors as you went!?"

Rainbow smirks. "Well, duh. I had to make sure my velocity and acceleration weren't going in opposite directions when I was climbing, but I also had to make sure I wasn't accelerating too much, or I'd end up gaining too much speed and reaching the parabolic crest too quickly..."

I grin at her. "And you say you're not a bloody genius," I muse. "You're a fucking braniac."

Rainbow blushes with a cute, meagre smile. "Aww, shucks - I'm not that smart. If you want smart, you should hit up Twilight - she's a total egghead."

"Nonetheless, you are an amazing flyer and an even better physicist."

Rainbow giggles a bit. "Aww, thanks. I guess I'll have to put 'best physicist in Equestria' on my resumé, huh?"

I smirk. "I wouldn't be too sure about that, Rainbow. I might take the cake on that one."

"Fair enough," she responds with a shrug. Surprisingly, she lets out a puff of exertion and uses a wing to wipe some sweat off of her brow - she didn't seem to be tired at all. "Man, that was a good workout..."

"I bet it was," I remark.

"Yeah...anyway, uh...the girls will probably wanna talk to you..." Rainbow informs me. She seems to lose a bit of her pep as she speaks. Kicking at a pebble on the ground, her wings tuck in tight to her sides. "So, you know...you should probably get going..."

I frown as I plop down onto my ass in front of her. "Rainbow, is something the matter?"

"What? Nah, nothin's the matter. I'm Rainbow Dash, remember? I don't let dumb stuff bother me..."

I roll my eyes. "Damnit, Rainbow, I may not know you as well as Fluttershy or Applejack, but I know you well enough to recognize when you're trying to protect yourself. C'mon, Rainbow - you don't have to lie to me. If there's something you wanna talk about, just say it."

Rainbow sighs with a light chuckle. "Yeah,I wish it were that easy..."

I rest a hand on her side. "It is," I inform her. She looks to my hand with a light frown.

"It's not at all," she responds. "Opening up to friends is something I don't...well, I don't know how to do it."

"You're opening up to me right now," I inform her. "Well, at least a little bit. So you obviously know how to open up."

"Yeah, but this is different," Rainbow sighs. "I'm able to open up to you a bit because you're so much like me, y'know? So it's almost like I'm talking to you as my brother..."

I suck in a sharp intake of air. "Oof, brother-zoned," I playfully mourn. "Gah, that's worse than the friend zone..."

Rainbow chuckles lightly. "Hey, I could've sister-zoned you."

"True, true..."

She smiles at me. "You seem like you took our talk yesterday to heart."

"Hard not to, when you punched it into my veins," I mutter. She giggles lightly.

"Well, I was angry."

"I get it," I respond with a shrug. "And yeah, I did. I'm gonna act a bit nicer from now on. Starting with you. Now, don't think I didn't notice how you shifted the subject - you're gonna tell me why you seem to be so down today, whether you like it or not."

Rainbow sighs. "Yeah, but...it's stupid," she mutters. "It's something that honestly makes no sense to me..."

I shrug. "Oh, come on," I urge. "Tell me that anything I've done while we've known each other has made any fucking sense to you."

Rainbow snickers. "That's true, you are pretty fucking random..."

I nod as I give her a hearty pat on the back. "Damn straight. Now, come on, Dash - tell me what's eating at you. If you don't, I'll tell everypony that you're depressed because you were dumped by your transexual girlfriend."

Rainbow Dash gives me a harsh glare. "You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, I would."

"Fine. Then I'll tell everypony what your full name is."

I cringe. "You already know what it is?"

"Yeah. Spike told me, Peter Kenpachi-Ramasama."

I don't know what, but something causes me to snap. I've been trying to get Rainbow to tell me what's got her so down, but all she's doing is saying the minimum and skirting around it. So, I decide to brute force it out of her.

"God fucking damnit, Rainbow Dash, just tell me what the fuck is eating at you!" I breathe, incredibly exasperated. "I mean, come on! I'm trying to be your friend here, but you're just pushing me away! I understand that you have a hard time opening up to your friends, but I'm not a normal pony, Dash - I'll fully understand anything you have to say. Now tell me why you're so down and I'll help you out!"

Rainbow Dash remains silent throughout my explosion. Without looking at me, she straightens up, and tightens her jaw, giving her a rather stony expression. After taking a deep breath, she finally tells me what's wrong.

"I don't want you to go."

I blink a few times in confusion. "Wh-What?"

"I said I don't want you to go!" Rainbow shouts at me. "I know it'll only be for a little while, but I don't want you to leave!"

I smile at her, as I immediately know what this is about. "Look, Rainbow, I appreciate the sentiment, but...I see you as a friend, okay? And even if I saw you as something more, it would take me a while to accept being with a pony..."

Rainbow Dash stares at me for a moment before sighing. "Peter, this isn't for my sake," she growls. "It's for Fluttershy. She likes you, okay? And I don't want you to forget her while you're gone. She deserves to be happy, and I was hoping that you two would hang out and get to know each other more. That's why I wanted you to improve your attitude - I didn't want you hurting her."

I blink in surprise a few times. "Rainbow, I-"

"And it sucks that you'll be away for so long, because by the time you come back, she might not like you anymore. But she likes you, and I want her to be happy..."

I rest a hand on Rainbow's shoulder. "Yeah, but I don't like her like you say she likes me," I inform Rainbow. "Yeah, I care about her, but...I'm not the right guy for her. She deserves to be happy, and while I'd love to make her happy, dating her is not the right way to go. I'd only end up hurting her, 'cus I'd be stringing her along in hopes that I'd eventually develop feelings for her."

Rainbow blinks in surprise. "You seem to have put a lot of thought into this," she announces.

"It's happened to me before," I respond with a dismissive wave of my hand. "This girl was so shy, but I knew she liked me. So I asked her out because I wanted to make her feel better about herself. I ended up dating her for a year and not even liking her. In the end, it broke her heart when she realized that I was only doing it because she liked me, and not because I liked her. She was so upset that I had been pretending the entire time..." I shake my head with a bitter sigh. "If I were to do the same to Fluttershy...I would never be able to forgive myself. And I already have the first time burned into my conscience."

Rainbow nods. "Alright. I understand." She smiles at me. "You know...maybe you're not as bad as I thought you were. You act like a jerk sometimes, but you're actually really nice..."

I smile at Rainbow Dash. "I'm a complex guy, sweetheart," I remark. Rainbow smirks at me.

"I bet you are."

We share a light chuckle, and I decide to lie down on the grass and watch the clouds. Rainbow Dash stretches before standing, and nudging me in the side.

"C'mon," she urges. "I wanna show you a game Applejack and I play."

I cock an eyebrow at the cyan Pegasus. "Oh? And what game would that be?"

"'Piss Applejack the Fuck Off'," she responds. I snicker as she explains the rules. "All you gotta do is piss her off. I usually play alone, but now we get to have points. Getting her to roll her eyes is one point. Getting her to tell you to leave her alone is three. Getting her to shout at you is five. And if you get her to chase you, you get five points each minute you keep away from her; ten if you've got her hat."

"But you can fly," I point out. "You'll definitely win that bit."

"Then no wings," she promises.

I grin. "Alright. Let's go."

We set off, the both of us hatching individual plans to irritate the farm pony.

Author's Note:

I wrote this because Wynaut. And I went through a few renditions of this chapter, because a lot it was just Muk. But I've Gothitella - it was worth it.

Comments

[blazikenking]

How do you explain the internet?

[Plaigh]

That author's note gave me an eye twitch.

[Gylden Glor]

2875497 good....
GOOOOODDDDD....

[meme-asaurus]

...the one place in Equestria that has ties to external universes.

fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/156/5/3/equestria_girls_mirror_by_mysterymelt-d67wt7l.png

"What am I, chopped liver?"

[Gylden Glor]

2882603 Simple.
The glass was cooled in the Mirror Pool, which did the Billy and Mandy thing of bringing Pinkie's shadows into the world.
It therefore attained the Mirror Pool's ability to see other dimensions and got stuck on the human one.