The Human Side of Things

by Gylden Glor

New Arrivals, Old Returns

Forenote: this skips over about two months or so.

I grin to myself as I recline. Man, clouds are the best...

I mean, they're made of water vapor, which means that they've got almost no density. A body laying on it should cause it to immediately dissipate, but trust me, that's why they're so awesome: every cloud we make is made out of specially treated puffiness that allows for it to be softer than the softest pillow. I mean, it's sort of risky, because there's a lot of nuclear waste from the process, but seeing as how hydras actually love the stuff, there's a good way to get rid of it...

Plus, it's good because I get to take the best naps ever on these things! Only something really loud and obnoxious could ever disturb me from my wonderful-

"Behold! The Great and Powerful Trixie!"

Ugh...speak of the devil, and he shall come.

I peak my head over the cloud to get a glance at what's going on. I see that there's a big wooden stage with some unicorn grinning at a crowd of gawking ponies. I decide to check it out, and I land amongst my friends.

"Oh, a latecomer," the showmare unicorn announces. "Perhaps you would like for Trixie to make you even faster, hm?"

"No, thanks," I respond. "I prefer to get faster through physical training."

"Ah. In that case, Trixie must say that she is supreme over you, for I can use magic to be better!"

I cock an eyebrow at her. I thought it was just an act to make some bits, but now I can tell that this asshole is a total bitch...

"Yeah, whatever," I dismiss her. "You could never hope to be half as cool as me~!"

"Oh, is that so!?" She cries. "Well, the Great and Powerful Trixie will - "

"BLEAAAGGGHHH!!!"

Even Trixie falls silent as Spike burps out an impromptu letter. Twilight hurriedly opens it, and gasps as she reads it.

"It's a letter from the Princess," she explains to us. Trixie's eyes widen, and I grin at her defeat. "Peter's on his way back!" She declares with a grin. I smile, and give Flutters a quick, teasing nudge.

"Bet you're happy to hear that, huh?" She blushes.

"Come on, let's go wait at the train station!" Twilight shouts as she begins to sprint away. The rest of us follow her, leaving behind a befuddled crowd of ponies and a very frustrated showmare.

---

Peter

I yawn with a stretch as the train finally comes to a stop.

My duffel bag jingles with the bits contained within, as well as the headphones Celestia gave me as a gift. It turns out she speaks with the guy who actually opened that door for me to enter this universe, who I call the Suited Man. He decided to let me have something, and that something is my iPod touch. Apparently, he does things like that quite often: when someone goes into another universe and has to start a new life, he gives them artifacts of their past.

Anyway, as the train comes to a stop, I walk towards the door and wait for it to open. It finally opens, and I'm immediately met with an explosion of voices, a Party Cannon, and a few vicious hugs. I giggle and laugh along with the ponies as I greet each of them in turn.

"Hey, Twi'; hey Spike," I start.

"So, how was it? Did you like it in Canterlot? Did Celestia like you? Did you talk to Luna? How is she?"

"I'll tell you later," I announce as Spike rolls his eyes. "For now, I just wanna say hi to all of you and go take a nap."

She nods, and I turn to the next.

"Yo, what up Dash," I announce with a grin. We bump fist and hoof. "Everything good?"

"Damn straight!" She responds with a cocky grin. "I've been savin' my best pranks just for you!"

"I'm counting on it," I respond with a smirk. "Hello, Rarity."

"Hello, Peter. Glad to see you're whole and happy. How was Canterlot?"

"It was awesome," I respond with a smile. "I'll tell you all about it later."

"Oh! Me! Me! Say hi to me next!"

"Hi, Pinkie Pie."

"Yay!" The pink pony squeals before bouncing away. I watch her go in amusement and confusion.

"Hey, Applejack," I say next.

"Glad ta' have ya' back," she announces.

"And hello, Fluttershy," I say at last. I give the timid Pegasus a soft smile, and she smiles in return without so much as a blush.

"Hello, Peter," she responds. "I'm glad that you were happy in Canterlot. I hope you'll be happy here, too."

I nod. "I appreciate it," I respond. "Now, Twilight, could we go back to the library? I want to take a nap before I buy a house..." I shift the weight of the bag so they hear all the bits I've got. "The job had fucking amazing pay."

"Language~!" Rarity reminds me.

"Should I say it in Spanish?" I tease. She grumbles a bit before sighing in defeat.

I'm about to wave goodbye to them when they decide to accompany me to the library. I smile at the prospect, and occasionally glance at Rainbow Dash, who is flying next to me and occasionally pulling off minor tricks, presumably to keep herself entertained. I smile as she teasingly sticks her tongue out at me. Man, I missed having her around...

We're about ten feet away from the library when we're stopped by a blue unicorn hopping in front of us.

"Halt!" She declares. "The Great and Powerful Trixie shall defeat this beast!"

I cock an eyebrow at her. "By 'this beast', I assume you mean me?"

"But of course! If you are this 'Peter' these fools speak of, then surely defeating you will prove that I am the greatest of all unicorns!" She lets out a mad cackle to boot.

My shoulders sag as I let out a tired sigh. "Oh, come on," I mutter. "Not even back for five minutes and the stupid fucking shit starts up again..." I shake my head. "This is exactly what I wanted to get the fuck away from: random bullshit with no rhyme or reason. Almost every god-damn day, Pinkie was dropping a cupcake onto my nose and-"

As if on cue, a cupcake falls onto my nose and begins to balance on the very tip. I roll my eyes as I feel physics screaming and rolling in its live grave.

"And balancing it so that I have to eat it..." I grumble in completion. I tilt my head back, and let the cupcake fall out of the paper wrapping (which somehow remains on my nose) and into my mouth. I chew for a moment before swallowing, and once it's down, Pinkie Pie wraps her forelegs around me in a tight hug from behind.

"D'you like it? Huh huh huh?"

"I love it," I respond with false glee. "Now, could you let go of me? You're breaking my sternum..."

"Oh? Duh, of course, okay!" She lets go, and falls to the ground with a flompff.

"Yeah," I sigh. I turn back to "Trixie the Great and Powerful" with a tired yawn. "Just...can we do this another time? I've got to rest, I just came back from Canterlot, I'm tired as all hell..."

"Fine, then!" The unicorn cries. "When Trixie has completed her beauty sleep and her preparations, she will come to fetch you!"

"Yeah, yeah," I grumble. "Can I just go now?"

"Begone!" She cries, pointing to the library with a dramatic hoof. I roll my eyes with a scowl as I continue to slump my way there.

---

I'm about to walk into the guest bedroom for a nap when I remember something I decided I wanted to say to somepony while on the train.

"Rainbow, can I talk to you for a sec?" I ask.

"Uh...sure," she responds as she lets the door close behind Fluttershy, Appplejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie. "What's up?"

"In here, please," I mutter shyly as I point to the bedroom. She frowns, but follows me into the room nonetheless. She begins to get a bit restless as I close the door.

"Whoa, what's going on?" She asks. "What're you trying to do, Peter?"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Uh...yeah, duh," she responds, matter-of-factly. "I'm the best at keeping secrets.

I nod as I take a deep breath. My heart races, and my hands grow clammy.

"Out of all of you," I begin, my voice small and my throat dry, "I missed you the most..."

Author's Note:

In the next chapter, what will Rainbow Dash respond with? Will she just freak out?

And how will the battle with Trixie conclude? By battle, I mean her pointless attempt to look good by defeating something that seems "strange"!

Find out next time in "The Duel," on Dragon Ball Z!

Oh, wait, wrong...wrong universe...

Comments

[Gylden Glor]

2951579 Is your profile pic of Vegeta? I've never seen him like that before...

[AficionadoAvacado]

2952828 What does the scouter say about his power level?
its OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AficionadoAvacado]

I say rainbow dash just laughs and agrees and he kicks trixies ass in whateva.