• Published 27th Jun 2013
  • 3,208 Views, 139 Comments

A Bushel of Apples - dramatic_spoon

Slice of life stories staring Big Macintosh and his alternate universe offspring

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Mother's Little Helper

Sweetie Belle yawned and hopped out of bed. The filly walked down the hallway and down towards the kitchen. Apple Jam sat at the table eating her breakfast.

“Hi Miss Sweetie Belle!” the filly greeted her with a mouthful of burnt toast.

“Hi Jam! Where’s Rarity?”

“Um…Miss Rarity said something about she hadda order to do in Cloudsdale so Mr. Thunderlane rushed her there.
And Gem’s not here either.”

“Well…I guess you can go to the clubhouse with me,” Sweetie Belle offered, “Unless any of the others are here.”


The Clubhouse

“Nope. None of the others showed up,” Scootaloo shook her head, “It’s just her.”

“Well that’s fine; she can hang out with us!” Sweetie Belle beamed.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo and Apple Jam agreed, while Applebloom stared at the three horrified.

“I…I don’t think that’s a good idea.” The earth filly shook her head.

“Why not? You let Scarlet and Gem play with us, why not Apple Jam?” Scootaloo countered.

“I’ll behave, Aunty Applebloom.” Apple Jam nodded.


“Let’s play Chutes and Ladders!” Apple Jam offered.

“No way, Chutes and Ladders is a baby’s game.” Scootaloo scoffed.

“We have Life.” Sweetie Belle held up the box.

“No way,” Scootaloo shook her head, “the last time we played that I ended up with more babies than my thing could hold.”

“What about…Monopoly?” Apple Bloom suggested, “No, we still haven’t found the rest of the twenty bit bills.”

“I said I was sorry,” Sweetie Belle sulked.

The four fillies fell silent as they thought. Scootaloo’s face suddenly broke out into a wicked grin as she chuckled.

“…That doesn’t sound good.” Applebloom sighed, “What are ya thinking?”

“Truth or dare,” the pegasi’s grin widened.

“…I don’t think-”

“Okay!” Sweetie Belle and Apple Jam shouted.

“That settles it then,” Scootaloo grinned, “I’ll start.”


“…But despite all of that, Missus Berry Punch’s mane grew back, Pipsqueek’s leg healed alright and Archer’s parents didn’t sue.” Sweetie Belle noted, “And that’s why I’m not allowed to try and raise flowers on my own.”

The other three fillies stared at her, eyes wide and mouths hanging open.

“…Um, are you all ok?” Sweetie Belle frowned.

“…How does that even work?” Applebloom shook her head.

“…What the hell.” Scootaloo blinked.

“Alright so now it’s Apple Jam’s turn!” Sweetie Belle furrowed her brow in thought, “Truth or Dare?”

“Truth!” the filly beamed.

“Truth? Well then…um…hm….”
The unicorn began to tap her hoof against the floor in thought.

“I got one,” Scootaloo grinned, “If you don’t mind.”

“No, go ahead, I don’t have one.”

“Tell us who your mom is.” Scootaloo pointed a hoof at Apple Jam. The filly’s eyes grew wide, while Applebloom’s expression changed to absolute horror.

“Um…I don’t think I should.” Apple Jam shook her head, “I choose dare instead.”

“Then I dare you to tell us who your mom is,” Scootaloo quickly responded.

“I…I don’t think that’s a good idea, Scootaloo,” Applebloom cut in, “I mean, Big Mac told ya not to ask for a reason, I think.”

“And that’s why I want to know.” Scootaloo countered, “If he doesn’t want us to know, it must be juicy.”

“….Aunty Applebloom?” Apple Jam looked at the earth filly, “should I?”

“…Well, it doesn’t look like we’re gonna get out of this one.” Applebloom sighed, “Just do it.’

“Um...well…” Apple Jam looked at the floor and shuffled her hooves, “Well…”

“Just do it!” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle yelled at her.

The filly pointed one hoof at Sweetie Belle.

“You’re my mommy.” Apple Jam responded.

The room fell into complete silence as the other two fillies took the information in.

“…WHAT THE FUCK?!!” Scootaloo’s outburst shocked the others into action, “How…why…but….ARGH!”

Scootaloo ran into the corner of the treehouse and began smashing her head against the wall.

“…I told her she didn’t want to know,” Applebloom sighed.

“…Do we have any other kids?” Sweetie Belle asked Apple Jam.

“No,” the filly shook her head, “Just me.”

“….I guess that’s ok,” Sweetie Belle shrugged.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!??!!?” Scootaloo shouted at Sweetie Belle, “He’s like fifty years older than you and like seven times bigger than you!”

“Actually Dad’s only twelve years older.” Apple Jam responded, “They got married when mom as eighteen and Dad was Thirty.”

“…THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT BETTER!” Scootaloo yelled back, “Now I got...hgha...dgnjka ARGH!” Scootaloo slammed her head against the wall again.

“…How did Applebloom, Applejack, Granny Smith and Rarity take it?”

“Grandma Pearl and Grandpa Magnum loved it.” Apple Jam beamed, “Um….Aunty Rarity was fine with it, ‘cause she helped them get together and she was dating Rumble.”

“…Rumble?” Applebloom’s eyebrow rose.

“Aren’t you and Rumble kinda together?” Sweetie Belle turned her attention to Applebloom.


“And Granny Smith was happy ‘cause no one else had kids yet. Aunty Applebloom didn’t really mind, but Aunty Applejack was mad.” Apple Jam concluded, “She thought it was…inappropriate?”

“IT SURE IS!” Scootaloo yelled back before smashing her head into the wall again.

“And everypony else in town was weirded out by it. But then Aunty Rainbow Dash pointed out that no pony batted an eye when Aunty Fluttershy and Gilda got into a relationship, or when Spike and Miss Cheerilee got married.”

“Spike and Cheerilee?” Applebloom and Sweetie Belle retched. Scootaloo responded by smacking her head against the wall.

“Um…Is Aunty Scootaloo going to be ok?” Apple Jam glanced at the pegasus.

“I think so.” Sweetie Belle shrugged, “Oh, I know! Who did Applebloom and Scootaloo end up with?”

“Um….Aunty Applebloom and Lucky Strike got married and took over the Bowling Alley.”

“Who’s Lucky Strike?” Sweetie Belle wondered.

“He’s the pony who got his cutie mark when we were trying to see if we could get a bowling cutie mark,” Applebloom grumbled.

“Oh right.”

“And Aunty Scootaloo married Diamond Tiara.” Apple Jam concluded.

“THAT MAKES IT WORSE!” Scootaloo yelled back.

“…I don’t see that happenin’ at all.” Applebloom shook her head.

“Well…It’s ‘cause Diamond Tiara sabotaged Scootaloo’s scooter and Scootaloo got hurt. So as part of her punishment, she hadda take care of Scootaloo and help her around, and they eventually fell in love.”

“STOP TALKING!” Scootaloo screamed as she slammed her head into the wall again. After several moments, blood dripped down her muzzle, and the pegasus collapsed to the ground.

“….Is Aunty Scootaloo okay?” Apple Jam frowned.

Sweetie Belle and Applebloom stood up, and checked on the pegasus.

“…I think she knocked herself out.” Applebloom shook her head, “We better take her to go see Granny and make sure she’s alright.”


The two fillies picked up the unconscious pegasus and hoisted her onto Sweetie Belle’s back.

“Make sure she doesn’t bleed on my coat,” Sweetie Belle instructed, “Otherwise Rarity’s going to try and scrub it out again.”

“You’re taking this well.” Applebloom noted.

“Well…I kinda figured she was related to me. I mean she stayed with Rarity and Gem, but she never called Rarity Mom.”

“I guess…Still…” Applebloom shook her head, “It’s you and my brother.”

“I think it’s cute.” Sweetie Belle beamed.

“Bu…” Applebloom’s face puckered in horror, “Oh no, don’t tell me you have a crush on him?!!”

“No,” Sweetie Belle shook her head, “I like somepony else…”

“…I don’t want to know,” Applebloom shook her head, “C’mon Apple Jam let’s go help Scoots.”


The three fillies left the clubhouse and headed towards the main building.

“Um…I’m not going to get in trouble, am I?” Apple Jam asked.

“I don’t think so, we’ll just blame it on Scootaloo.” Applebloom responded.