Strangers In a Strange Land (Part 2)
Paula and Macintosh sat across one another at the table. Rarity placed two mugs of coffee on the table and headed towards the door.
“I have errands to run, make yourselves at home until…well, until you both figure something out.”
Rarity left, leaving the two earth ponies staring at one another.
“…So it happened to you too?” Big Macintosh chuckled.
“Mmmhmm, Let me tell you that Grandaddy’s happy, ‘Buck’s about fifty-fifty about it; He likes some of them, but He can’t get over who Vista’s dad is.”
“Vista?”
“Vista Bell. His daddy’s Charmin’ Chime.” Paula frowned at the lack of recognition from the stallion, “He’s Elusi..Rarity’s little brother. Well, I guess it’ll be her little sister here,” the mare corrected herself.
“Sweetie Belle?” Big Macintosh frowned.
“Unicorn, white coat, two toned mane? Runs around with your kid sibling as part of the ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’?”
“Ah,” Big Macintosh responded, “Yeah, Applebloom reacted the same way ta Apple Jam.”
“I would imagine,” Paula scoffed, “It ain’t right a grown stallion with a filly like that.”
“Because a grown mare with a colt is better,” Big Macintosh snidely remarked.
“…Touché.” Paula conceded, “And then there was Applejack.”
“She accused you of sleepin’ with all her friends?”
“His friends,” Paula corrected, “But yes, he did. He accused me of sleeping with all of them, and I slapped that boy across his head. You’d think he’d notice if I was pregnant. Especially five times.”
“True. I told th’ same thing ta Applejack, when she accused me.” Big Macintosh paused, “ ‘Course she hit me, instead.”
Paula laughed, “Sounds about right.”
“...So... Apple Pomace is… you said Dusk Shimmer’s kid, right?”
“Dusk Shine,” Paula corrected, “Purple unicorn and the leader of th’ Elements of Harmony?”
“That’d be Twilight Sparkle, then.”
“Rainbow Blitz?”
“Rainbow Dash.”
“Berry Bubble?” Paula continued on.
“Pinkie Pie.”
“That’s a stupid name,” Paula commented before continuing, “Butterscotch?”
“…If I had ta guess, I’d say Fluttershy. Yellow Pegasus?”
“Mmhmm.” Paula nodded, “That’s Apple Pomace, Red Cyclone, Earligold, Apple Pie and Little Macintosh.”
“…Little Macintosh?” the stallion sighed, “Well, there’s only so many apple names ya can use before you start ta repeat yourself.”
“Rarity mentioned some others,” Paula continued, “Who’re they?”
“Well... Carrot Top’s obvious. Her kid’s Golden Sweet.”
“Ours is named Carrot Top too, but he hates that name and has everyone call him Carson. Our kid’s Golden Spike.”
“Speakin’ of a Carson, that’ll lead me to Ditzy Doo. Gray pegasus with that walled eyed look?”
“Dopey. His son’s Demi Doo, and our daughter is Jeanette.”
“Cheerilee the teacher an’ Acey Mac?”
“Merrimac and Red Rome.” Paula replied, “Before you ask, it happened long after that Hearts and Hooves day incident.”
“I would hope,” Macintosh nodded, “Spitfire and Apple Cinnamon?”
“Spitfire and Apple Spice.”
“Trixie and Center Stage?”
“Presto and Limelight. Did she help chase her daddy off?”
“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh nodded, “Did a heck of a good job too.”
“That’s good to know.”
“…Discord and Bellona?”
“Eris and Loki.”
“Cloudchaser and Stratos?”
“Rain Dancer and Cumulus,” Paula responded, “She said her little brother’s named Stratos.”
“Stratos said his little sister is named Cumulus.”
“...Not exactly the most imaginative names.” Paula smirked.
“I suppose, he said his mother came up with it.” Big Macintosh paused before continuing, “Princess Celestia and Idun?”
“Prince Solaris and Helios.”
“Princess Cadance and Fantasia?”
“Prince Baroque and Greensleeves.”
“You named him after a song?” the stallion stared at her.
“You named your daughters Apple Pie and Apple Jam, you don’t get to complain.” Paula shot back.
Outside
Ponyville Park
Lyra and Mandolin sat on a bench, watching as Apple Pomace, Golden Gem and Stratos played with a ball. As they watched the colts and filly, the two unicorns continued to glance at each other in silence. After several more minutes of this, both of them sighed.
“This is too damn weird,” Mandolin sighed.
“You’re telling me,” Lyra agreed, “I can handle the kids, but this…this is something else.”
“I can handle Imperator Tartarus threatening to plunge Equestria into eternal night. I handled Dusk Shine brainwashing everyone into going after his Action Alpaca doll thing. I can handle a goddamn Chaos goddess wreaking havoc, and getting Brainwashed and replaced by Changelings, but this… this just plain creeps me out.”
“…Wait, Chaos goddess?” Lyra frowned.
“Yeah, Eris.”
“And Paula had a kid with her?”
“Yeah, a son, Loki.”
Lyra blinked, “how does that even work?”
“Chaos Goddess,” Mandolin shrugged, “Shapeshifting.”
“But…”
“I really don’t try to think about it,” Mandolin cut her off, “besides, that means your Big Macintosh had a kid with a guy.”
“...I really try not to think about that either,” Lyra commented.
---
“…Alright, so I think I see the differences now. So I got stuck with Novamac an’ Midnight Bliss, while you got Wild Seed and Savannah Smiles. I got Queen Umbra, while you got King Cocoon. And finally, I got … Oaken Shield and you got… Doctor Whooves?” Big Macintosh blinked, “this is getting really, really stupid.”
“I agree,” Paula nodded.
“So now what? You’re all stuck here until the jumper resets itself?”
“I believe so.”
“Well, that won’t be a problem, We got plenty of room on th’ farm,” Big Macintosh paused, “Though I reckon Applebloom, and Applejack might get a bit freaked out.”
“Grampy ain’t gonna mind?”
“Granny loved havin’ twenty grandkids runnin’ around, I don’t she’s gonna say no to one more,” Big Macintosh paused, “You an’ Mandolin might be a bit harder to explain.”
“Just say we’re relatives. Unless you’re tell… wait, did you just have the reunion?” Paula inquired.
“Nope.”
“Good, just tell here we are stoppin’ by ta say hello, since we can’t make it.”
“…Probably will work.” Big Macintosh nodded in agreement.
“Well that’s settled, let’s get goin’.” Paula got to her hooves.
“Eeyup,”
The two headed out the door.
---
Park
“So let me get this straight… your Bonbon has a marefriend?”
“Yeah,” Mandolin shrugged, “Firefly.”
“…isn’t that Rainbow Dash’s mom?” Lyra asked, puzzled.
“What? No, I don’t know who her parents are. Firefly’s got a blue mane.”
“So does Dash’s mom,” Lyra responded, “Her cutie Mark’s not a lightning bolt, is it?”
“It’s three raindrops.” Mandolin responded.
“…Alright, that must be someone else.”
The two grew silent again as Stratos flew up into a tree to get the ball.
“I want to know,” Lyra paused, “You couldn’t have taken the news well. I mean….”
“I didn’t,” Mandolin responded, “It…well, we’ve been around. I would have noticed if Paula was pregnant. Ponyville’s not exactly a big town, so if Paula; the most eligible and sought after mare in town was pregnant with anypony’s kid, we would have heard something.”
“…True.” Lyra conceded.
“It’s you who probably had the harder time believing him,” Mandolin added.
“No… When he mentioned Carrot Top, Cheerilee, and Ditzy something clicked,” Lyra shook her head, “We see them all the time, so if they had a kid, I would notice.”
“…So did you give him a black eye?”
“No Applejack did,” Lyra chuckled, “Although that was because she found out we were dating.”
Mandolin chuckled, “Didn’t happen with us. Sure, Applejack blew up, but Paula decked him good.”
“…” Lyra frowned, “Mac can shatter boulders with his hooves, did she…”
“She held back. Only knocked two of his teeth out and broke his nose.” Mandolin chuckled, “Let me tell you, when she gets mad, she gets mad.”
“Then don’t do anything stupid.”
“I try not to.” Mandolin shivered, “I did once, she ended up blowing a hole in Tonic’s wall. That was really expensive to fix.”
Mandolin paused, “Although to be fair, I didn’t know she can’t hold her alcohol at the time.”
“Tonic?”
“Gin N. Tonic. The barowner?” Mandolin waved his hoof, “Purple-pink, cutie marks’ a bunch of grapes?”
“Oh, Berry.” Lyra nodded in understanding, “…We went to the bar once. According to Mac I ended up doing drunken karaoke, and threatened to send Cheerilee to the moon.”
The two grew silent again as Big Macintosh and Paula trotted over.
“Kids behaved themselves?” Paula grinned.
“For the most part,” Lyra shrugged, “Oh, they got chased by bees, but Pomace used his magic to protect them.
They might have to apologize to Diamond Tiara though.”
“…Well anyway, Paula and I discussed it, and you’re all welcome to stay at the farm until th’ transporter reboots itself,” Big Macintosh informed them.
“That’s good.” Mandolin nodded, “Solves our problem.”
“Just how did you end up here anyway?”
“…If I had to guess, I think when Mandolin grabbed Pomace with his magic and Pomace pressed the button on it, it interfered with the device and sent us here.” Paula responded, “at least it makes about as much sense as anything else.”
“Alright then, we oughta head home.”
---
Sweet Apple Acres
“Jus’ where is Big Macintosh?” Applejack frowned, “He spent th’ last how many hours off doin’ something while he leaves me workin’ hard on th’ farm! Outta all the selfish things ta do…”
“Quit yer hollerin’ misses,” Granny Smith scolded her, “It ain’t any different than when you and your friends run off doin’ who knows what in who knows what for who knows why.”
“That... that’s different Granny.” Applejack stuttered.
“No it ain’t, an’ you know it.” Granny Smith responded, “Now you go set th’ table. Applebloom! You tell your coltfriend ta lend a hoof.”
Applejack, Applebloom and Rumble got up and went to set the table, as Granny Smith rocked back and forth.
“Granny, we’re back,” Big Macintosh trotted in to the house, followed by Lyra, Golden Gem and Stratos, “Brought a couple of guest if that’s alright.”
“Ain’t no problem sonny,” Granny Smith smiled, “I always look forward to seein’ my great-grandfillies. And Lyra.”
“We also got a couple other guest,” Big Macintosh added, “C’mon in.”
Paula, Pomace and Mandolin entered, stopping by Granny Smith.
“Granny, this is Paula Red, Her coltfriend Mandolin an’ their son Apple Pomace, You remember them right?”
“…Paula Red…who’s you Parents?” Granny stared at the earth mare.
“Red Gala an’ Rootstock.” Paula nervously answered.
“Oh I haven’t heard from them in years,” Granny’s expression softened, “How’re they doing?”
“Oh, just fine,” Paula responded, “we were just passing through, and we decided to come and visit for a while.”
“That’s wonderful.” Granny nodded, “We were just about to sit down to dinner, why don’t you join us?”
“If you say so, Granny.” Paula smiled.
“Good.” The elderly mare smiled.
“APPLEJACK! Set six more plates out, we got guests!”
“Who in tarnation…” Applejack trotted out of the kitchen to see Paula, “Who the hay are you?”
“Applejack! That ain’t anyway to greet anypony,” Granny Smith scolded her, “This is your cousin, Paula Red an’ her husband and kid.”
“…Paula Red?” Applejack frowned, “I don’t remember no Paula Red.”
“You haven’t seen’m for years. Mac, why don’t you an’ Lyra take the kids to get washed up? They’re a bit dirty.”
“Eeyup. C’mon you three.”
The five ponies left the room as Applejack turned back to the kitchen.
“Now then…” Granny Smith chuckled, “Why don’t you tell this ol’ mare the truth?”
“I... I don’t know what you’re talking about Granny.”
“Now, now, I ain’t as senile as most folks think I am,” she chuckled, “I remember family well, and I know I don’t have any nieces or nephews named Rootstock or Red Gala. I do know that you’re an Apple though.”
Mandolin and Paula exchanged a nervous glance.
“You ain’t got nothing to do with my great-grand children, do you? You look an awful lot like Big Macintosh an’ Lyra, and Pomace looks an awful lot like Sparkling Cider.” The mare paused, “Am I getting’ close?”
“Well…” Paula sighed, “I’m Big Macintosh’s counterpart.”
“Oh, so it’s like Novamac an’ Bliss then. Well that ain’t too bad,” Granny chuckled, “Well, it doesn’t matter how, you’re still family. You’re welcome to stay until you all can get everything sorted out.”
“Thank you kindly,” Paula gratefully responded.
“Now then, let’s go an’ eat.” Granny chuckled.
The ponies entered the dining room as Big Macintosh and Lyra got the colts and fillies seated. Applebloom frowned.
“Hey Big Mac? Who’s that?” The filly pointed at Apple Pomace.
“I’m Apple Pomace,” the colt replied.
“Another one?” Applebloom sighed, “…Well that ain’t the weirdest thing to happen today.”
“Alright, Applebloom, This is Cousin Paula Red an’ her husband…”
“Mandolin, Mrs. Apple,” the unicorn helped her.
“Right, Right, Mandolin and their son, Apple Pomace.” Granny finished.
“I don’t remember any cousins named Paula Red.” Applebloom frowned.
“I don’t have a lot of free time, Applebloom,” Paula responded, “I’m mighty busy out at our orchard.”
“…Still…”
“Applebloom, that’s enough,” Granny Smith stated, “It don’t matter, she’s still family, now sit.”
“…You look a lot like Big Macintosh, Cousin Paula,” Applebloom noted.
“Well, Bloom… you know what they say, everypony’s got a double in the world,” Paula chuckled, “Now let’s eat.”
---
The Next Day
WHUMMP!
Paula and Mandolin sprung off the couch, landing on their feet. Pomace, Gem and Stratos quickly untangled themselves from the mess of blankets and got to their feet.
“Mom? What was that?” Pomace asked.
“I don’t know Pomace…”
The sound of multiple bodies colliding caught everypony’s attention, followed by the sound of ponies falling down the stairs. Big Macintosh, Applebloom, Applejack and Lyra landed at the bottom of the stairs in a tangled heap.
“Aunty Paula? What was that?” Applebloom managed to untangle herself from the pile, “What was that?”
“I’m not sure, Bloom.” Paula shook her head, “Mac, if you would be so kind to help us…”
“Right.”
Big Macintosh dug himself out of the pile, and went over to the door. Pausing, he motioned for Lyra, Mandolin and Paula to follow him. Big Macintosh dramatically flung open the door, as he and the other three ponies charged out.
The farm pony skidded to a stop as he took in the scene outside.
“…Well, that’s something ya don’t see every day.” He mused.
Laying on its side and partially buried in the front yard was a bizarre metal blue box. As the ponies watched a door was kicked open.
“Oh for the love of Megan! I swear to the Smooze below that I fixed the bloody brake!” a loud, course voice bellowed.
A brown coated earth stallion with a grey speckled mane and an hourglass cutie mark pulled himself out of machine, grumbling and swearing at himself under his breath. He looked up at the group.
“…Well, I’m sorry about the mess,” he apologized to Big Macintosh, “Usually my landings are much better.”
“I…”
Before Big Macintosh could respond, a red earth colt with a gray mane popped out of the machine. The colt stopped to adjust his fez before beaming.
“Hi Mom!”
“Ambrosia? Is that you?” Paula stared at the colt in astonishment
“Eeyup!” Ambrosia beamed, “Red Cyclone an’ Cumulus showed up in my universe, an’ they said their things were actin’ weird, so I told Dad and we went off to find you!”
“…What is that?” Lyra pointed at the machine.
“It’s my Time Machine.” The Earth stallion patted it, “Named it after an old friend of mine. Well, come along Paula, we need to be off.”
“Give me a moment,” Paula turned to Big Macintosh, “Thank you kindly for your hospitality under… these conditions.”
“It ain’t a big deal,” Big Macintosh chuckled, “But next time, send a little warning, alright?”
“Will do.” Paula grinned back.
“We don’t have all day. Come along Apples,’ the stallion ducked back into the machine as Ambrosia, and Mandolin entered the machine.
“You guys should come visit sometime,” Pomace told Stratos and Gem, “I bet Earligold and Cumulus would like you.”
“Maybe,” Gem replied. Stratos simply shrugged.
Pomace hopped into the machine and was followed by Paula. A piercing siren suddenly screamed out, causing Lyra and Big Macintosh to back away. The machine suddenly blinked out of view, cutting off the siren, leaving the two ponies staring at a smoking crater in the ground.
“…Well that was weird.” Lyra stated to no one in particular.
“Eeyup.”
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Where do I even start with this one....
For the most part, the mane six's counterparts are named after their "On Cross and Arrow" versions.
As for the others...
well, here's the list for the kids:
Apple Pomace = Sparkling Cider
Red Cyclone = Scarlet Tornado
Apple Pie = Apple Pie
Golden Gem = Earligold
Garden Royale = Little Macintosh
Apple Jam = Vista Bell
Golden Sweet = Golden Spike
Carson = Jeanette
Acey Mac = Red Rome
Apple Cinnamon = Apple Spice
Center Stage = Limelight
Bellona = Loki
Idun = Helios
Fantasia = Greensleeves
Stratos = Cumulus
Apple Cake's counter part is never mentioned, but it's still Apple Cake.
I decided to mix up some of the later kids, because it would make things awkward to have Nova and Midnight shared between the two universe.
So Luna was replaced by Zecora, with Savannah Smiles replacing Nova, and Wild Seed Replacing Midnight Bliss.
Sense I did mention passing Chrysalis over for a Genderswapped Sombra in Crisis, it made sense to me to swap them for the 63!verse.
Leaving Doctor Whooves as Doctor Whooves is a rift on Oaken Shield.
As for other genderswapped names...
the names for Cheerilee, Carrot Top, Berry Punch, Ditzy Doo, and Trixie are leftovers from my time in the Lunaverse. However, I like the names way too much, to toss them aside.
Merrimac and Gin N. Tonic are Cheerilee and Berry Punch's counterparts.
Gin's alternate name was Mint Julep, since there was a point where I felt the name sounded too...Gangstery.
Carrot Top stays Carrot Top.
Ditzy and Dinky became Dopey and Demi.
Discord became Eris, since that's the most popular name for her.
Spitfire stayed the same. I know the "official" Genderswapped name for her is Flamethrower but that is really, really stupid.
"Hey Spitfire's named after a Plane, what should we call her counter part?"
"I know! let's name him after a weapon!"
...seriously, We could call him Mustang, Zero, Boomerang, Tomahawk, Hurricane, Thunderbolt, Lancer, I'm just going through a list of WWII planes here.
Look at all those Badass alternate names.
instead we get Flamethrower.
For Cadance, I think I finally found a name I like.
Baroque, after the Baroque Music style and art period, and makes use of the Candenza.
Greensleeves is both an Apple Variety and the song.
Sucre's marefriend isn't the Firefly you're thinking of.
there's a Pegasus Background Stallion named Serenity, who appeared in "Hurricane Fluttershy" and his only line is "What Was That?"
Get it? Serenity? Firefly?
....I don't even like that show.
As for the ending....
Hell, to be honest I'm not a big fan of the "Time Turner is The Doctor as a Pony! AjKFSDJFKJSDKFSDJFKDJS"
I like Time Turner as Time Turner, not Doctor Whooves.
But to be honest, I really wanted to do something random.
So have I-hope-Peter Capaldi-as-The-Doctor-is-something-like-this Doctor Whooves and his son, Ambrosia.
I debated Making him the Malcom-Tucker-As-The-Doctor that see seen around alot, but nah.
...That's all I got.
Children everywhere! Loved the Rule63 tie-in, too, ehee
Great work, man. That was an entertaining arc. Nice to see more from the R63 side of things.
Fingers crossed for another human chapter! Perhaps one where the ponies meet the humans...?
3239703
If I write a human-pony crisis crossover, it would have to be non-canon.
Just because that would sounds like it would be a fic in itself.
3228627
You know, that would actually be a pretty good name for 63!Lightning Dust.
3246551
Does she have one yet?
3247552
Not that I know of.
I have to ask, why Tartarus?
It's a better name than Anarchy Apollo, but I don't see why you didn't go for Phobetor.
He was the incarnate form of nightmares and the son of Nyx, the regent of the night in Greek mythology, the major basis for the creatures in the world of FIM.
Also, please do not make the obvious joke that you could using that last sentence.
3276250
Because I felt that naming him after what's more-or-less the darkest depths of Greek Hell where all the greatest Sinners where, was appropriate.
He's a fallen Deity, after all.
And at the same time, Tartarus is also considered a Primordial Deity, further tying his theme naming with Erebus.