• Published 27th Jun 2013
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A Bushel of Apples - dramatic_spoon



Slice of life stories staring Big Macintosh and his alternate universe offspring

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I swear it's everywhere (Part 1)

“Alright, y’all better get home.” Big Macintosh instructed the five ponies.

“But Daaaad,” Stratos and Center Stage groaned.

“No buts, kids,” Lyra cut off Big Macintosh’s response, “Rules are rules.”

“…Fine.”

Center Stage, Golden Gem, Stratos, Midnight Bliss and Scarlet Tornado sulked as they placed their interdimensional transporter devices on their forelegs.

“Next week, I promise we’ll do something fun,” Big Macintosh paused, “No, we’re not goin’ ta a theme park. Applejack’ll kill me if ah spend that much money.”

“Bye dad,” Golden Gem pressed the button on her transporter. One by one each of the fillies vanished in flashes of light.

---

Dimension 29

The air crackled as Golden Gem materialized in the Apple household. As the light faded, Golden Gem trotted into the next room.

“Daddy! I’m back,” the filly announced.

Golden Gem stopped as she stared at the ponies sitting around the table. Big Macintosh frowned as he looked back at her. Across the table, a blue pegasus mare with a white and blue mane tended to a red Pegasus filly with a white mane. The mare looked up at Golden Gem.

“You’re not Stratos,” the mare frowned.

“…Uh-oh,” Golden Gem gulped, “Um…Hi Missus Cloudchaser, I...um...I’m…”

“You ain’t related to…what did he call that other colt?” Big Macintosh paused, “Center Stage an’ Apple Pie are ya?”

“Um…” Golden Gem nodded in response.

“Which means you’re suppose to be his… Alternate reality counterpart, ain’t ya?” Big Macintosh concluded.

“Uh-huh. I’m Golden Gem and my mommy’s Rarity,” the filly nodded.

“Rarity? With you?” Cloudchaser laughed, “I don’t see that working at all.”

“…So why are you here, and more importantly, where’s my son?” Big Macintosh ignored his wife.

“Um…well, we went swimming today, and we had to all take off our transporter box things. I guess I must have grabbed his instead of mine.”

“So he’s in your…dimension?” Cloudchaser’s eyebrow rose up.

“Maybe?” Golden Gem weakly smiled, “There were five of us.”

“….Great,” Cloudchaser groaned, “I told you I didn’t like that.”

“Well, I didn’t think this sort of thing was gonna happen.” Big Macintosh defended himself, “He’s been doin’ it for nearly a year now and this is the first time that’s happened.”

“So where would he be?”Cloudchaser shot back.

---

Dimension 443

Stratos groaned and laid on the floor.

“I can’t believe I grabbed the wrong one,” the colt grumbled.

A well-toned red earth mare with a gamboge mane chuckled, “It’ll be alright sugarcube, it only take a couple of days for it to recharge, right?”

“Two days, Missus Paula.” Stratos responded.

“There, two day’s ain’t so ba-”

“I MUST CONTACT MY BROTHER! AND MY NEPHEW! AND PRINCE HEARTSTINGS!” a Dark blue Alicorn stallion bellowed, “THIS IS A CRISIS OF IMMENSE PROPORTIONS!”

“Darlin’ you’re over reactin’,” Paula Red sighed, “Not ta mention you’re scarin’ Stratos here.”

“HE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO COWER! FOR IF A SINGLE HAIR IN MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER’S MANE HAS BEEN DAMAGED, THERE SHALL BE HELL TO PAY!” the alicorn continued to bellow.


“Just ignore him, Stratos,” Paula Red rolled her eyes, “My husband is very touchy when it comes to Bliss.”

“I noticed, Missus Paula.”

----
Dimension 943

“Okay, Mac, look I can deal with Scarlet bring home Pinkie’s kid. I can deal with Spitfire’s kid. And against all odds I can deal with a kid you had with Sweetie Belle of all ponies, but this?” Rainbow Dash motioned towards Midnight Bliss who continued to watch Tank eat his food, “This is kinda a lot, don’t you think?”

“Dash, Scarlet mentioned this before,” Big Macintosh countered, “Besides, we just gotta take care of her for a couple of days, I’m sure ya can handle that.”

“I had enough trouble with Scarlet, and besides, I still got this one,” Rainbow Dash motioned towards her swollen stomach, “to worry about.”

“If I may interrupt, Missus Rainbow Dash, I am fully capable of caring for myself,” Midnight Bliss informed the mare, “I am not as…mischievous as my…counterparts.”

“Kid, compared to Scarlet, nopony is,” Rainbow Dash grumbled.

---

Dimension 88

Scarlet Tornado groaned as the twin unicorns foals continued to tug at her forelegs. The foal on her left was a younger filly with a blue coat, freckles and orange mane, while the foal on her right was a nearly identical colt.

“Let go of her, Right, I said she’s gonna play with me!” the filly tugged.

“Nu-uh!” the colt, Right, tugged Scarlet towards him, “Me!”

“Stage Left, Stage Right, cut that out,” Big Macintosh scolded the twins.

“But I said I was gonna play with her first!” the ponies yelled back.

“Why don’t ya let her decide?”

“…I wanna go to sleep,” Scarlet yawned, “What the hell is wrong with this dimension?”

“We don’t use language like that in this house, missy,” Big Macintosh scolded Scarlet.

---


Dimension 9

Opal swiped at the started colt, ripping the edge of his cape.

“My cape!” Center Stage yelped before he growled at the cat, “My grandmother made that for me!”

Center Stage concentrated as his magical aura surrounded the cat. Before he could do anything, a length of cloth dropped on his head, ruining his concentration.

“Hey!” Center Stage struggled to free himself from the tangles of fabric, “Stupid fabric!”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes, “Don’t bother the cat, Centy.”

“She started it!” Center Stage finally freed himself from the cloth.

“It doesn’t mater, you can’t torture the cat,” Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes.

“Belle, jus’ what’s goin’ on there?” Big Macintosh frowned as he entered the room, “Who’s that?”

“Well, you remember when Golden Gem had Golden Sweet and Apple Cinnamon over for a sleepover?”

“Eyup,”

“Well, they all mentioned a colt from a universe where you married Trixie instead of my sister,” Sweetie Belle motioned to Center Stage as he stared daggers at Opal, “That’s him.”

“…” Big Macintosh sighed, “This is gonna be a long two days, ain’t it?”

“Uh-huh. And Rarity comes back in an hour, how are you gonna explain this to her?”

“How are you going to explain what to me?” Rarity trotted into the room.

“Oh, Hi Rarity!” Sweetie Belle flashed a grin, “I uh…just remembered. I had to go to help Silver Spoon oil her grandmother. Bye!”

The younger mare ran past the other two, mouthing a silent ‘sorry’ Big Macintosh.

“…That was odd,” Center Stage’s hat caught Rarity’s attention, as she turned to the colt, “And who might this be?”

“Well…” Big Macintosh sighed, “Y’know how Gem had those two fillies that said they where from alternate universes over?”

“Oh, right.” Rarity shook her head, “Is he related to them?”

“He-”

“I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL CENTER STAGE!” the colt reared up, dramatically tossing his cape back, only for nothing to happen. After several moments of awkward silence, Center Stage sat back down, blushing.
“I forgot Dad took away the fireworks after I nearly burnt the barn down.”

“…… I think I will need a moment to sit down and take that in,” Rarity sighed.

---
Dimension 29

“Well…we could put you in Stratos’s room, but I don’t think you’d like that very much,” Cloudchaser shook her head.

“Why not?” Golden Gem looked up from the sleeping foal.

“Unless you want to sleep in his dirty sheets, surrounded by Wonderbolt stuff, go ahead,” Cloudchaser chuckled as Golden Gem made a horrified face.

“I’ll sleep in the guest room,” the filly quickly replied.

“I thought so; let me go tidy it up a bit,”

Cloudchaser trotted out of the room. Big Macintosh trotted over to Golden Gem’s side as she continued to watch the sleeping foal.

“You seem to like her,” the stallion smiled.

“I don’t have a little sister or brother,” Golden Gem looked up, “You and Mom…mom and dad don’t have the time.”

“I can imagine. If your mom’s anything like our Rarity, she’s probably off in Canterlot hard at work,” Big Macintosh chuckled.

“What’s her name?” Golden Gem looked back down at the filly as she started to squirm.

“Cumulus Apple.” Big Macintosh chuckled again, “I wanted ta name her Bailey Sweet, but Chaser and Stratos said no.”

“That’s a silly name,” Golden Gem nodded.

“And Golden Gem ain’t?” the stallion grinned as the filly blushed and looked away.

“Mommy thought it was a good name.”

“…Yeah, they usually do,” Big Macintosh chided the filly, “You wanna hold her?”

“Is Mrs. Cloudchaser going to mind?”

“Nah, I don’t think so,” the stallion chuckled.

Big Macintosh reached down and picked up Cumulus. Golden Gem adjusted her position and took the filly from the stallion. Cumulus opened her eyes and stared at Golden Gem. After a few moments, the filly giggled and smiled at the unicorn.

“I think she likes you,” Big Macintosh chuckled.

---
Dimension 443

Big Paula Red opened the door and pushed the alicorn stallion out of the house.

“Erebus, we’ve been over this,” the mare frowned, “its Ten-Thirty at night and here you are howlin’ an’ hollerin’ and makin’ a Pit-damned fool of yourself.”

“But honey.” Erebus started.

“But nothin’!” Paula Red cut him off, “I do not tolerate such inhospitable behavior around guests, and if the only thing you’re gonna do is yell at him, then you can sleep in the barn.”

Before Erebus could respond, Paula spun around and slammed the door.

“…I bet Solarius does not have any problems such as this with Glida,” the Alicorn sulked as he headed towards the barn.

“I’m sorry about that, Stratos.” Paula apologized to the colt, “My husband can be…overprotective when it comes to Bliss. I’m sure your parents are like that too sometimes.”

“Mom is like that with Cumulus, but that’s ‘cause she was just born.”

“An’ she’s….”

“Oh, um…Mom’s Cloudchaser,” Stratos began to motion towards his mane, “She’s a pegasus with a mane that’s all spiky and sticks up like mine.”

“That sounds like Raindancer,” Paula paused as another door creaked open and an elderly, bearded green stallion hobbled in.

“Paula, what’s all that ruckus?”

“It’s nothin’ Granddaddy, Just Erebus overreactin’ again,” Paula motioned towards Stratos, “This here’s Stratos, he’s a friend of Bliss’s. Stratos, this is Granddaddy George Cave, Bliss’s great-grandaddy.”

“Um…Hi Mr. Cave.”

The stallion, George Cave, squinted at Stratos, “What’s wrong with your mane, boy? Back in my day we didn’t let no pony get’m like that.”

“My mane is naturally like that, Mr. Cave,” Stratos grumbled.

“Now you best be off to bed, Granddaddy. You gotta wake up early an’ go see the doctor tomorrow,” Paula instructed the elderly stallion.

“Bah, that quack will say the same thing; that I gotta give up drinkin’. Look at my Grandaddy, he lived until you were born before for he kicked the bucket!” George Cave continued to ramble and complain as he headed back to his bedroom.

“…People always say that about my mane,” Stratos grumbled.

“Well, be best getting’ ready for bed, Stratos. I just made Bliss’s bed, so you can sleep there if you don’t mind all the stuffed animals. Or you could sleep in the guest room, which ever you’d like better.”

---

Dimension 943

Midnight Bliss walked into the kitchen. Rainbow Dash looked up from a plate covered in the remains of pears and beets.

“Still can’t sleep kid?” The pregnant mare took another bite of beets.

“Not really. I’m sort of worried about my dad.” Bliss took a seat across from Rainbow Dash.

“Luna? Pfft, Why would you worry about her, I mean him?” Dash brushed the thought away.

“Because he’s really protective of me. The last time I slept over at a friend’s house, we found him on the roof.”

Rainbow Dash paused midchew at Bliss’s statement. With a mighty swallow, the mare gulped down a half chewed pear, “That’s pretty messed up.”

“Eeyup.”

“So…what am I like there? I mean my counterpart, whatever his name is,” Rainbow Dash continued on.

“Uncle Rainbow Blitz?” Bliss paused for a moment, “Well….He’s married to Missus Pish Posh, and he has a son named Regal Spectrum.”

“Who’s Pish Posh?”

“Um…she’s a famous unicorn in Canterlot. White coat, blue mane, her cutie mark is three crowns…”

“Wait that sounds a lot like that stallion Rarity’s always getting all lovey-dovey over,” Rainbow Dash interrupted, “Fancy Pants?”

“…I dunno. Maybe?” Midnight Bliss shrugged.

“…That’s way too weird for my liking kid,” Rainbow Dash frowned, “I mean I can deal with Pinkie getting together with the egghead, and Rarity getting together with Braeburn, but that’s weird.”

“Weirder than Princess Luna and Big Macintosh?” Midnight Bliss cocked an eyebrow.

“....You got me there, kid,” the pegasus shrugged before taking another bite of beets.

---
Dimension 88

Scarlet Tornado stared at the ceiling, wedged between the sleeping twins.

“...This is a nightmare.”

---

Dimension 9

Center Stage frowned at the room; piles of fabric were pushed into the corner, mannequins tossed to the side, and slightly moth-eaten sheets covered the bed.

“I’m terribly sorry, Center Stage,” Rarity levitated a pillow towards her. The mare inspected it as she continued to talk, “We do not usually get many guest so…everything is less than ideal. This pillow looks like it will work.”

Rarity laid the pillow down and smiled at the colt, “There, the room might be a little musty, but everything is still usable.”

“Thank you Missus Rarity,”

“Right, well then…Good night dear.”