A Bushel of Apples

by dramatic_spoon

First published

Slice of life stories staring Big Macintosh and his alternate universe offspring

The sequel to Crisis of Infinite Offspring

Months after twenty of Big Macintosh's alternate universe children ended up in his universe, life goes on.

What chaos and mischief can they cause?

Guess Who's Back?

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Big Macintosh trotted through Ponyville, followed by Apple Cinnamon, Golden Gem and Sparkling Cider.

“Alright, you all got your lists, right?” the stallion glanced back at the fillies, who nodded, “Then go an’ do what ya gotta do.”

“Alright dad.” The three responded before splitting up.

Sugarcube corner

Apple Pie and Apple Cake slowly walked out of the kitchen carrying platters of baked goods on their heads. Mr. Cake followed them out, an uncertain look on his face.

“Repeat that again, Honey Bun?”

“Apple Pie is Pinkie’s cousin and Apple Cake is my aunt’s niece’s daughter,” Mrs. Cake chided him as she exited the kitchen, “They’re staying here for now.”

“…Alright, I’m going to go work on Ditzy’s order.” The stallion turned back into the kitchen.

“Aunty Cup Cake?”

“Yes, Apple Pie?”

“Wouldn’t your aunt’s niece’s daughter be your kids?” the filly cocked her head to the side, dropping pastries onto the ground.

“Yes, they would be, now clean that mess up.”


Apple Pie slid the remaining pastries into the display case and wandered off to find a broom as Apple Cinnamon trotted in.

“Hi Mrs. Cake.”

“Oh hello, dearie,” the baker greeted the filly, “you’re here for the cake?”

“Eeyup,” the pegasus filly nodded.

“Hi Cinnamon!” Apple Cake greeted her half-sister.


“I’ll be right back,” Mrs. Cake trotted into the kitchen, as Apple Pie dragged the broom and dustpan out.

“Hi sis!” the filly dropped the broom into the pastries, splattering icing and filling over the floor.

“Here you are dea-” Mrs. Cake stepped into the splattered pastries, tossing the package up as she slipped. Apple Cinnamon quickly flew up and snagged the package before it could fall down.

“Got it, Mrs. Cake.”

“Good catch dearie,” the baker got back onto her hooves and looked at the mess. Apple Pie broke out into an awkward smile as Mrs. Cake’s gaze fell on her.

“I’ll clean it up, I promise.”

“I hope so,” Mrs. Cake scolded the filly before turning her attention towards Apple Cinnamon, “Well, you best be on your way dearie, if these two finish cleaning up before then, I’ll send them to you.”

“Thanks Mrs. Cake.”

Apple Cinnamon landed and exited the bakery.


Golden Gem pushed open the door, catching Thunderlane’s attention.

“Oh, hey kid.”

“Hi uncle Thunderlane!” the filly beamed, “Is my mom here?”

“Yeah she is, she’s finishing up the y’know.” Thunderlane jerked his head towards another room, “Giver her a bit longer to finish it.”


The filly sat next to Thunderlane.

“…So, who do I end up with?” Thunderlane inquired, “I mean if Rarity ends up with Mac, who do I end up with?”

“…I dunno,” Golden Gem shrugged, “I think you live in Cloudsdale, because Rumble and Aunty Sweetie Belle got married.”

“Really?” Thunderlane scratched behind his head, “Huh, all this time I thought he had a crush on Apple Bloom.”

“Dear, it’s an alternate universe for a reason,” Rarity trotted into the room, “Hello Gem.”

“Hi mommy,” the filly leapt to her hooves, “Daddy sent me to pick up the thing.”

“Ah just a moment, I was putting the finishing touches on it.”


Rarity spun around and went back to her work. Sweetie Belle came down the stairs and noticed the two ponies.

“Hi Mr. Thunderlane, Hi Gem.”

“Hey kid.”

“Hi Aunty Sweetie Belle!” the filly beamed at her.

“…I’m never going to get use to that,” the filly rolled her eyes.

“That makes two of us kid,” Thunderlane chuckled.

Rarity entered the room, levitating a package.

“And here it is dear,” Rarity smiled as the package landed on Golden Gem’s back, “Best that you be off.”

“Thank you mommy. Bye everypony!”

Golden Gem left the shop.

“I’m going to go hang out with Scootaloo and Applebloom,” Sweetie Belle frowned, “But Apple Jam keeps trying to play with us. She said her dad’s Big Macintosh, but who’s her mom?”

Rarity and Thunderlane quickly exchanged an awkward glance, “You’ll find out one day, kid.”

“…alright.” Sweetie Belle trotted off with an odd look on her face.


Sweet Apple Acres
Inside of the barn

Acey and Golden Sweet trotted out of the barn, carrying bales of hay on their backs. Stratos and Garden Royale swept the floor as Bellona and Nova attempted to hang decorations on the walls.

“More back!”

“If I go any more back, it will rip!” Nova shot back.

“More to the left,” Bellona grumbled.

“WE HAVE THE SAME LEFT!” Nova yelled. The barn roof shook, sending bird nests and loose wood toppling to the ground. Everypony glared at Nova, as he meekly tacked the banner onto the wall and landed. The alicorn sulked off as Midnight Bliss, Idun and Oscura watched.

“I do not act like that, do I?” Bliss asked the other two.

“Not that I have noticed,” Idun shrugged.

“…No,” Oscura mumbled, “…I’m going to put these ones up.”

The unicorn wandered off, levitating several other decorations behind her.

“She doesn’t like to talk much, does she?” Idun shook her head.

“Nope,” Bliss shook her head.

“We probably should do something about that,” Idun frowned, “But then again she might not like that.”

“Eeyup,” Bliss nodded, “She seems to get along with Royale and Fantasia though.”

Oaken Shield, Apple Jam, and Scarlet Tornado struggled to drag a table into the barn. As Oaken Shield and Jam pulled the table, Scarlet struggled to push it.

“Push harder!”

“I am!” Scarlet yelled back, “Carson! Stratos! Get over here and help me push it!”

“Alright.” The red pegasus trotted over.

“I’m not done sweeping yet.” The blue pegasus yelled back.

“Just put the stupid broom down and get over here!”

Stratos rolled his eyes and flew over, landing next to Scarlet and Carson.

“Alright, push!” the mare yelled.

The five ponies strained against the table, barely able to budge it. Idun and Midnight Bliss continued to watch them, as Oscura joined them.

“Should we help?” Midnight Bliss asked the others.

“Probably,” Idun nodded, “Oscura, can you use your magic too?” The princess nodded in response.
“Alright, let’s do it.”

The three princesses went over and focused their magic on the table.

“Keep pu-”
Scarlet Tornado, Carson and Stratos landed flat on the ground, as Apple Jam and Oaken Shield catapulted forwards. Bellona dived down, catching the unicorns.

“Thanks.” Oaken Shield thanked the hybrid.

“No problem.”

The three princesses trotted further into the barn, levitating the table with them.

“Put it down here,” Oaken Shield instructed them, pointing towards the middle of the barn

“Got it.” Idun nodded.

“We had it!” Scarlet yelled at the others.

“And we sped it up,” Idun countered, “Go get the chairs and stuff.”

“Whatever,” The pegasus flew out of the barn as Acey and Golden Sweet returned with candles.

“…What’s her problem?” Acey frowned

“I don’t know.”

The Apple’s Kitchen

Center Stage pulled several battered fruits and vegetables out of a deep fryer, and set them onto a paper-covered plate. In another part of the kitchen, Fantasia cut up other fruits and vegetables to make a salad.

“You got the platters ready?” Center Stage called out.

“Almost, not quite done here yet,” the princess began to create two salads, arranging the lettuce, spinach, red onions, grapes, apples, candied walnuts, arugula, radishes, cat grass, lemon grass and other vegetables.

“Did Mrs. Cake say when she woul-”

“WE’RE BACK!” Apple Pie bounded through the door, followed by Apple Cake.

“Good, we need you to check on the quiche,” Center Stage turned his attention towards another batch of frying vegetables.

“Did Cinnamon come back yet?” Apple Cake inquired.

“She’s helping them set things up in the barn,” Fantasia motioned outside, “she left the cake here.”

“Things are pretty much finished though,” Center Stage added, “So Cake can go help the others finish up.”

“Got it.”


Some time later
The Barn

The collected assortment of fillies looked around at their work: a table with two chairs was set up in the middle of the room, with a simple white table cloth and candles in the middle. Lace decorated the walls, and the lights remained low.

“I think it came out pretty good,” Idun smiled, “Anypony else have something to say?”

“Shouldn’t the others be done with the food by now?” Scarlet grumbled.


“It’s done!”

Apple Pie and Center Stage pulled a cart ladened with food into the barn.

“Alright, that means Golden Gem and Sparkling Cider should be back soon with Dad and Miss Heartstrings,” Idun blinked, “So hide.”


Big Macintosh and Golden Gem continued back to the Barn, the boutique bag perched atop Big Macintosh’s back.

“You better go join th’ others,” Big Macintosh instructed the filly, “take the bag with you.”

“Alright daddy.”

Gem’s magical aura surrounded the bag and she turned towards the barn.

“Wait,” Big Macintosh stopped her, “Take this with you an’ don’t let th’ others see it.”

Big Macintosh slipped a small box into the bag.

“What is it?”

“That’s a surprise,” Mac chuckled, “Alright, get goin’. Cider an’ Lyra should be here soon.”

The filly shrugged and entered the barn, just as Sparkling Cider and Lyra trotted into view.

“Hello Lyra,” Big Macintosh smiled.

“Hey Mac. So what’s the big emergency?”

“Emergency?” Big Macintosh frowned.

“Yeah, Cider said I was urgently needed,” Lyra motioned towards the filly.

“Well…Let’s go to the barn an’ we’ll talk about it some more,” Big Macintosh motioned towards the structure.

“…Alright?” Lyra’s expression became confused as she started towards the barn.

“Everything ready?” Sparkling Cider whispered to Big Macintosh.

“Looks like it is,” Big Macintosh responded.

The stallion hurried along, catching up to Lyra.

“…You’re up to something,” Lyra accused.

“What ever do ya mean?”

“Well first off, I saw Cinnamon flying home from the Cakes’ with a package. Then I saw Golden Gem leave the boutique,” Lyra shook her head, “Finally, I haven’t seen any of them running around town, causing mischief like the last time they were here, and don’t tell me they’re all not here. It’s been raining chocolate over Carrot Top’s garden again, and Roseluck saw three alicorn fillies fly past the moon last night.”

“…I told’m to say outta sight,” the stallion muttered to himself.

“What was that?”

“I’ll explain everything…” The stallion sighed. He pushed open the barn door, “Just a moment.”

“Good, because I-”

“SURPRISE!” the lights flashed on, as all the fillies and colt shouted. Fireworks and confetti erupted, igniting some of the decorations.

“Oh crap!” Scarlet Tornado and Stratos quickly flew over to the flaming decorations and tossed them to the ground, where Acey and Oaken shield quickly stomped them out.
The four ponies glared at Center Stage, who meekly smiled back.
Big Macintosh brought his hoof to his forehead and sighed.

“This is why I said no fireworks, Stage.”

“Sorry dad.”

Lyra opened her mouth to say something, but instead of questions, the unicorn began to laugh.

“Oh this is adorable,” Lyra finally managed to say, “Let me guess, they wanted to make dinner for us, and you said yes?”


“Well…that’s very thoughtful of them, so let’s get started shall we?”


After Dinner

“I didn’t know Center Stage could cook,” Lyra sighed, “Let alone Neighponese food.”

“Accordin’ to him, Grandma Stagelight owns some fancy restaurant in Neigh Orleans and does a bit o’ everything,” Big Macintosh paused, “We oughta go see if that exist here.”

“If we ever go to Neigh Orleans, you mean,” Lyra corrected him, "and assuming she has one here."

“I reckon it’d be a nice place ta visit.”

“I suppose, But it’s all tourist traps and stuff like that.” Lyra waved the thought away.

“So is Las Pegasus, but you still want ta go there.”

“That’s different,” Lyra countered.

“Well, now that th’ kids ran off ta eat the rest of th’ cake, I can give you your present,” Big Macintosh pulled the bag out from underneath the table.

“You really didn’t have to, Mac.”

“I inis-” Big Macintosh trailed off as he looked in the bag, “…Somethin’s missing.”

“I don’t think Rar-”

“No, somethin’ else,” Big Macintosh cut her off, “I put somethin’ else in here ‘cause I was gonna give it to you.”

“Looking for this daddy?”

Golden Gem trotted into view, levitating the small box with her. Big Macintosh’s expression hardened.

“Dad, we’re not stupid,” Apple Cinnamon trotted out after her, “We all know where you went today.”

“Well, the three of us,” Sparkling Cider followed the pegasus.

“I did too!” Apple Pie announced as she bounced into view.

“…I guess I coulda planned that better,” Big Macintosh sighed.

“We didn’t tell the others,” Apple Cinnamon added, “they can find out later.”

“…Mac, is that what I think it is?” Lyra eyed the box.

“Depends on what you think it is,” the stallion chuckled.

Golden Gem dropped the box in front of Lyra. Big Macintosh smiled as he reached over and opened the box. Lyra’s eyes widened in surprise.

“I think you know what I’m gonna say, but I’ll say it anyw-”

Big Macintosh was cut off as Lyra knocked over the table, and kissed the surprised stallion. After a moment, Big Macintosh returned the kiss, as Lyra wrapped her forelegs around him.

“I take that as a ‘Yes’” Apple Cinnamon grinned as her half siblings cheered.

I swear it's everywhere (Part 1)

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“Alright, y’all better get home.” Big Macintosh instructed the five ponies.

“But Daaaad,” Stratos and Center Stage groaned.

“No buts, kids,” Lyra cut off Big Macintosh’s response, “Rules are rules.”


Center Stage, Golden Gem, Stratos, Midnight Bliss and Scarlet Tornado sulked as they placed their interdimensional transporter devices on their forelegs.

“Next week, I promise we’ll do something fun,” Big Macintosh paused, “No, we’re not goin’ ta a theme park. Applejack’ll kill me if ah spend that much money.”

“Bye dad,” Golden Gem pressed the button on her transporter. One by one each of the fillies vanished in flashes of light.


Dimension 29

The air crackled as Golden Gem materialized in the Apple household. As the light faded, Golden Gem trotted into the next room.

“Daddy! I’m back,” the filly announced.

Golden Gem stopped as she stared at the ponies sitting around the table. Big Macintosh frowned as he looked back at her. Across the table, a blue pegasus mare with a white and blue mane tended to a red Pegasus filly with a white mane. The mare looked up at Golden Gem.

“You’re not Stratos,” the mare frowned.

“…Uh-oh,” Golden Gem gulped, “Um…Hi Missus Cloudchaser, I...um...I’m…”

“You ain’t related to…what did he call that other colt?” Big Macintosh paused, “Center Stage an’ Apple Pie are ya?”

“Um…” Golden Gem nodded in response.

“Which means you’re suppose to be his… Alternate reality counterpart, ain’t ya?” Big Macintosh concluded.

“Uh-huh. I’m Golden Gem and my mommy’s Rarity,” the filly nodded.

“Rarity? With you?” Cloudchaser laughed, “I don’t see that working at all.”

“…So why are you here, and more importantly, where’s my son?” Big Macintosh ignored his wife.

“Um…well, we went swimming today, and we had to all take off our transporter box things. I guess I must have grabbed his instead of mine.”

“So he’s in your…dimension?” Cloudchaser’s eyebrow rose up.

“Maybe?” Golden Gem weakly smiled, “There were five of us.”

“….Great,” Cloudchaser groaned, “I told you I didn’t like that.”

“Well, I didn’t think this sort of thing was gonna happen.” Big Macintosh defended himself, “He’s been doin’ it for nearly a year now and this is the first time that’s happened.”

“So where would he be?”Cloudchaser shot back.


Dimension 443

Stratos groaned and laid on the floor.

“I can’t believe I grabbed the wrong one,” the colt grumbled.

A well-toned red earth mare with a gamboge mane chuckled, “It’ll be alright sugarcube, it only take a couple of days for it to recharge, right?”

“Two days, Missus Paula.” Stratos responded.

“There, two day’s ain’t so ba-”


“Darlin’ you’re over reactin’,” Paula Red sighed, “Not ta mention you’re scarin’ Stratos here.”


“Just ignore him, Stratos,” Paula Red rolled her eyes, “My husband is very touchy when it comes to Bliss.”

“I noticed, Missus Paula.”

Dimension 943

“Okay, Mac, look I can deal with Scarlet bring home Pinkie’s kid. I can deal with Spitfire’s kid. And against all odds I can deal with a kid you had with Sweetie Belle of all ponies, but this?” Rainbow Dash motioned towards Midnight Bliss who continued to watch Tank eat his food, “This is kinda a lot, don’t you think?”

“Dash, Scarlet mentioned this before,” Big Macintosh countered, “Besides, we just gotta take care of her for a couple of days, I’m sure ya can handle that.”

“I had enough trouble with Scarlet, and besides, I still got this one,” Rainbow Dash motioned towards her swollen stomach, “to worry about.”

“If I may interrupt, Missus Rainbow Dash, I am fully capable of caring for myself,” Midnight Bliss informed the mare, “I am not as…mischievous as my…counterparts.”

“Kid, compared to Scarlet, nopony is,” Rainbow Dash grumbled.


Dimension 88

Scarlet Tornado groaned as the twin unicorns foals continued to tug at her forelegs. The foal on her left was a younger filly with a blue coat, freckles and orange mane, while the foal on her right was a nearly identical colt.

“Let go of her, Right, I said she’s gonna play with me!” the filly tugged.

“Nu-uh!” the colt, Right, tugged Scarlet towards him, “Me!”

“Stage Left, Stage Right, cut that out,” Big Macintosh scolded the twins.

“But I said I was gonna play with her first!” the ponies yelled back.

“Why don’t ya let her decide?”

“…I wanna go to sleep,” Scarlet yawned, “What the hell is wrong with this dimension?”

“We don’t use language like that in this house, missy,” Big Macintosh scolded Scarlet.


Dimension 9

Opal swiped at the started colt, ripping the edge of his cape.

“My cape!” Center Stage yelped before he growled at the cat, “My grandmother made that for me!”

Center Stage concentrated as his magical aura surrounded the cat. Before he could do anything, a length of cloth dropped on his head, ruining his concentration.

“Hey!” Center Stage struggled to free himself from the tangles of fabric, “Stupid fabric!”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes, “Don’t bother the cat, Centy.”

“She started it!” Center Stage finally freed himself from the cloth.

“It doesn’t mater, you can’t torture the cat,” Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes.

“Belle, jus’ what’s goin’ on there?” Big Macintosh frowned as he entered the room, “Who’s that?”

“Well, you remember when Golden Gem had Golden Sweet and Apple Cinnamon over for a sleepover?”


“Well, they all mentioned a colt from a universe where you married Trixie instead of my sister,” Sweetie Belle motioned to Center Stage as he stared daggers at Opal, “That’s him.”

“…” Big Macintosh sighed, “This is gonna be a long two days, ain’t it?”

“Uh-huh. And Rarity comes back in an hour, how are you gonna explain this to her?”

“How are you going to explain what to me?” Rarity trotted into the room.

“Oh, Hi Rarity!” Sweetie Belle flashed a grin, “I uh…just remembered. I had to go to help Silver Spoon oil her grandmother. Bye!”

The younger mare ran past the other two, mouthing a silent ‘sorry’ Big Macintosh.

“…That was odd,” Center Stage’s hat caught Rarity’s attention, as she turned to the colt, “And who might this be?”

“Well…” Big Macintosh sighed, “Y’know how Gem had those two fillies that said they where from alternate universes over?”

“Oh, right.” Rarity shook her head, “Is he related to them?”


“I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL CENTER STAGE!” the colt reared up, dramatically tossing his cape back, only for nothing to happen. After several moments of awkward silence, Center Stage sat back down, blushing.
“I forgot Dad took away the fireworks after I nearly burnt the barn down.”

“…… I think I will need a moment to sit down and take that in,” Rarity sighed.

Dimension 29

“Well…we could put you in Stratos’s room, but I don’t think you’d like that very much,” Cloudchaser shook her head.

“Why not?” Golden Gem looked up from the sleeping foal.

“Unless you want to sleep in his dirty sheets, surrounded by Wonderbolt stuff, go ahead,” Cloudchaser chuckled as Golden Gem made a horrified face.

“I’ll sleep in the guest room,” the filly quickly replied.

“I thought so; let me go tidy it up a bit,”

Cloudchaser trotted out of the room. Big Macintosh trotted over to Golden Gem’s side as she continued to watch the sleeping foal.

“You seem to like her,” the stallion smiled.

“I don’t have a little sister or brother,” Golden Gem looked up, “You and Mom…mom and dad don’t have the time.”

“I can imagine. If your mom’s anything like our Rarity, she’s probably off in Canterlot hard at work,” Big Macintosh chuckled.

“What’s her name?” Golden Gem looked back down at the filly as she started to squirm.

“Cumulus Apple.” Big Macintosh chuckled again, “I wanted ta name her Bailey Sweet, but Chaser and Stratos said no.”

“That’s a silly name,” Golden Gem nodded.

“And Golden Gem ain’t?” the stallion grinned as the filly blushed and looked away.

“Mommy thought it was a good name.”

“…Yeah, they usually do,” Big Macintosh chided the filly, “You wanna hold her?”

“Is Mrs. Cloudchaser going to mind?”

“Nah, I don’t think so,” the stallion chuckled.

Big Macintosh reached down and picked up Cumulus. Golden Gem adjusted her position and took the filly from the stallion. Cumulus opened her eyes and stared at Golden Gem. After a few moments, the filly giggled and smiled at the unicorn.

“I think she likes you,” Big Macintosh chuckled.

Dimension 443

Big Paula Red opened the door and pushed the alicorn stallion out of the house.

“Erebus, we’ve been over this,” the mare frowned, “its Ten-Thirty at night and here you are howlin’ an’ hollerin’ and makin’ a Pit-damned fool of yourself.”

“But honey.” Erebus started.

“But nothin’!” Paula Red cut him off, “I do not tolerate such inhospitable behavior around guests, and if the only thing you’re gonna do is yell at him, then you can sleep in the barn.”

Before Erebus could respond, Paula spun around and slammed the door.

“…I bet Solarius does not have any problems such as this with Glida,” the Alicorn sulked as he headed towards the barn.

“I’m sorry about that, Stratos.” Paula apologized to the colt, “My husband can be…overprotective when it comes to Bliss. I’m sure your parents are like that too sometimes.”

“Mom is like that with Cumulus, but that’s ‘cause she was just born.”

“An’ she’s….”

“Oh, um…Mom’s Cloudchaser,” Stratos began to motion towards his mane, “She’s a pegasus with a mane that’s all spiky and sticks up like mine.”

“That sounds like Raindancer,” Paula paused as another door creaked open and an elderly, bearded green stallion hobbled in.

“Paula, what’s all that ruckus?”

“It’s nothin’ Granddaddy, Just Erebus overreactin’ again,” Paula motioned towards Stratos, “This here’s Stratos, he’s a friend of Bliss’s. Stratos, this is Granddaddy George Cave, Bliss’s great-grandaddy.”

“Um…Hi Mr. Cave.”

The stallion, George Cave, squinted at Stratos, “What’s wrong with your mane, boy? Back in my day we didn’t let no pony get’m like that.”

“My mane is naturally like that, Mr. Cave,” Stratos grumbled.

“Now you best be off to bed, Granddaddy. You gotta wake up early an’ go see the doctor tomorrow,” Paula instructed the elderly stallion.

“Bah, that quack will say the same thing; that I gotta give up drinkin’. Look at my Grandaddy, he lived until you were born before for he kicked the bucket!” George Cave continued to ramble and complain as he headed back to his bedroom.

“…People always say that about my mane,” Stratos grumbled.

“Well, be best getting’ ready for bed, Stratos. I just made Bliss’s bed, so you can sleep there if you don’t mind all the stuffed animals. Or you could sleep in the guest room, which ever you’d like better.”


Dimension 943

Midnight Bliss walked into the kitchen. Rainbow Dash looked up from a plate covered in the remains of pears and beets.

“Still can’t sleep kid?” The pregnant mare took another bite of beets.

“Not really. I’m sort of worried about my dad.” Bliss took a seat across from Rainbow Dash.

“Luna? Pfft, Why would you worry about her, I mean him?” Dash brushed the thought away.

“Because he’s really protective of me. The last time I slept over at a friend’s house, we found him on the roof.”

Rainbow Dash paused midchew at Bliss’s statement. With a mighty swallow, the mare gulped down a half chewed pear, “That’s pretty messed up.”


“So…what am I like there? I mean my counterpart, whatever his name is,” Rainbow Dash continued on.

“Uncle Rainbow Blitz?” Bliss paused for a moment, “Well….He’s married to Missus Pish Posh, and he has a son named Regal Spectrum.”

“Who’s Pish Posh?”

“Um…she’s a famous unicorn in Canterlot. White coat, blue mane, her cutie mark is three crowns…”

“Wait that sounds a lot like that stallion Rarity’s always getting all lovey-dovey over,” Rainbow Dash interrupted, “Fancy Pants?”

“…I dunno. Maybe?” Midnight Bliss shrugged.

“…That’s way too weird for my liking kid,” Rainbow Dash frowned, “I mean I can deal with Pinkie getting together with the egghead, and Rarity getting together with Braeburn, but that’s weird.”

“Weirder than Princess Luna and Big Macintosh?” Midnight Bliss cocked an eyebrow.

“....You got me there, kid,” the pegasus shrugged before taking another bite of beets.

Dimension 88

Scarlet Tornado stared at the ceiling, wedged between the sleeping twins.

“...This is a nightmare.”


Dimension 9

Center Stage frowned at the room; piles of fabric were pushed into the corner, mannequins tossed to the side, and slightly moth-eaten sheets covered the bed.

“I’m terribly sorry, Center Stage,” Rarity levitated a pillow towards her. The mare inspected it as she continued to talk, “We do not usually get many guest so…everything is less than ideal. This pillow looks like it will work.”

Rarity laid the pillow down and smiled at the colt, “There, the room might be a little musty, but everything is still usable.”

“Thank you Missus Rarity,”

“Right, well then…Good night dear.”

I Swear it's everywhere (part 2)

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Dimension 29

“Hey kid, wake up.”


Golden Gem stuck her head out of the covers, to see Cloudchaser standing in the doorway.

“Get up, kid. If you’re going to be stuck here for a few days, you might as well meet Stratos’s friends.”

“He has friends?”

Cloudchaser shot a dirty look at the filly.

“I mean…um…erm…” Golden Gem broke out into an embarrassed grin.

“…Just get out of bed, kid.” Cloudchaser shook her head as she left the room.

Golden Gem slunk out from underneath the blanket, trotted out the door and headed towards the dinning room. Big Macintosh sat near Cumulus, trying to feed the foal.

“C’mon Cumulus, open it up for daddy.” The stallion held out a spoonful of applesauce. The filly pouted and moved her mouth away from spoon, smearing it on her muzzle. Cumulus noticed Golden Gem as she sat at the table and squeed in excitement.
Big Macintosh took advantage of the opening and placed the spoon in the filly’s mouth. As Big Macintosh pulled the spoon out of her mouth, Cumulus spat her mouthful of applesauce at Big Macintosh. The stallion sighed as she giggled.

“Hi dad.”

“Mornin’ Gem. What you gonna do today?” Big Macintosh asked as he tried to feed Cumulus another spoonful of applesauce.

“I dunno. Mrs. Cloudchaser said I should try and hang out with Stratos’s friends.”

“…That might work, they’re both friendly enough.” Big Macintosh frowned as Cumulus spat out another mouthful of applesauce, “C’mon Cumulus, you oughta like applesauce, you’re an Apple.”

“Pllllllb.” The filly stuck her tongue at him again before giggling.

Golden Gem levitated several slices of bread onto her plate, as well as a jar of jam. Opening it, the filly sniffed its contents before making a horrified face.

“…What is this?”

“Carrot and Apple jam.” Big Macintosh attempted to feed Cumulus again, “It was a gift from Carrot Top an’ Brauburn’s wedding.”

“…I’ll pass.” The filly screwed the cover back onto the jar before selecting another one, “What’s this one?”

“Apple butter.” Big Macintosh closed his eyes as Cumulus spat more applesauce at him, “…and yet you still eat enough ta leave your diaper covered in it,” the stallion grumbled.

Golden Gem levitated a knife towards her and opened the jar. As she scooped the butter out and onto the bread, Cloudchaser entered the room carrying a towel.

“…I knew that would happen,” the mare sighed as she went over to Big Macintosh and Cumulus.
“How much of it did she actually eat?”

“ ‘bout a quarter of it.” Big Macintosh took the towel and began to wipe the spittle and applesauce off.

“That’s more than usual,” Cloudchaser smiled at Cumulus, “Aren’t you getting to be a greedy little filly?”

Cumulus responded by giggling and burping. Cloudchaser picked her out of the seat and began to gently pat the baby on the back until she burped.

“Good girl.”

“Um…Where’s Applejack, Applebloom and Granny Smith?” Goldem Gem asked.

“Granny an’ Applejack are in the old house,” Big Macintosh vaguely motioned to his left, “We built this one after we got married. As for Applebloom…she’s..What’s today?”

“She comes back from Greater Zebrabwe next month,” Cloudchaser’s nose wrinkled, “Somepony needs a diaper change.”

“She’s off learnin’ about Zebra culture. Turns out her special talent is learnin’,” the stallion chuckled, “Even sent me a letter sayin’ she’s met a nice Zebra fella named Oareb. Had a photo too, lemme see if I can find it…”

Big Macintosh stood up and trotted off. Cloudchaser followed him, Cumulus carefully perched on her back. A knock on the door caught Goldem Gem’s attention. The filly hopped off the chair and opened the door.
An over excited amber coated unicorn colt with a messy curly pink mane leaped into the room, knocking Golden Gem over. The colt was followed by a light brown earth filly with a rainbow mane, and equally bright scarf wrapped around her neck.

“HI STRATTY! How was it visiting your…” the colt trailed off as he realized who he was standing on, “…You’re not Stratos.”

“How observant of you,” Golden Gem grumbled, “Now please get off.”

The unicorn leapt off. Gem coughed as she got back onto her hooves.

“Who are you?” the colt tilted his head to the side, “and what happened to Stratty?”

“Presumably she’s Mr. Macintosh’s daughter from another universal stream,” the earth filly muttered, “Judging by her coat and mane style, I would have to guess Missus Rarity.”

“...” the unicorn colt craned his neck some more, “I sort of see it, then again, she doesn’t really look like Golden Breeze anyway.”

“Of course she doesn’t,” the Earth filly shook her head, “Genetics would indicate that the probability of the two being identical is nigh impossible.”

“Yeah, but Stratos was talking about the ones that are because Mr. Macintosh married Princess Luna, and the other one where Missus Macintosh married Prince Luna, and those guys are almost the same.” The colt countered.

“But they’re not the exact same,” the filly argued back.

Big Macintosh trotted back into the room, carrying a photo in his mouth.

“Here it is…Oh.”

“Hi Mr. Macintosh!” the colt beamed. The filly nodded her own greeting.

“Well…I guess that solves one problem,” the stallion sighed, “This here’s Golden Gem, one of Stratos’s…friends.”

“We figured out that she’s probably Stratos’s alternate universe counterpart, Mr. Macintosh,” the earth filly adjusted her scarf.

“…Well, that makes things easier. This is Golden Gem. Gem, That’s…”

“I’m Cream Pie!” the unicorn beamed.

“…Temporal Spectrum,” the Earth filly shrugged, “Call me Spectrum. Or Temp, whatever’s easier for you.”

“…Well, guess you all oughta be on your way then, Have fun kids.”

“But…” Golden Gem began to protest.

“Don’t worry, I know where we can go an get super delicious awesome sugary snacks for free!” Cream Pie beamed as he pulled Golden Gem close, “Oh I know! We should have a donut cake!”

The two unicorns left, while Temporal Spectrum gave Big Macintosh a concerned look.

“…What?” the stallion shrugged, “We figured she might like hangin’ around with you all.”

“Mr. Macintosh, I don’t think this is going to be the best way to introduce Golden Gem to everypony. Especially Mrs. Pinkie.”

“…good point,”


Golden Gem and Temporal Spectrum trotted down the road, as Cream Pie bounced along.

“Oh I know, we should go and visit Missus Rarity and her husband! Do you know who she married? He’s really famous an-”

With a flick of her hooves, Temporal wrapped a second rainbow patterned scarf around Cream Pie’s mouth, tying the ends in a knot.

“I think that’s enough of that,” the earth filly gave Golden Gem an apologetic look, “Sorry, he’s sort of noisy.”

“He reminds me of somepony I know back home, only less annoying.”

“There’s a pony more annoying than Cream Pie?” Temporal Spectrum shook her head in disbelief, “I find that hard to believe.”

“He can’t fly through the air, dropping surprises on ponies,” Golden Gem watched as Cream Pie continued to tug at the scarf, “That makes him less annoying in my book.”

Temporal Spectrum watched as Cream Pie continued to struggle with the knot, eventually crashing into a wall.
“I agree.”

Somepony behind the two fillies fake coughed to get their attention. A young yellow unicorn with her orange mane done back in a ponytail, and a cutie mark in the shape of a two layered cake with white frosting and a missing slice, frowned back at them.

“Um…Hi Miss Pumpkin Cake.” Temporal pulled her scarf up, hiding her muzzle.

“...Would you mind telling me why my little nephew is running around town, crashing into things?” the mare’s eyebrow rose as she asked the filly.

“…” Instead of responding Temporal pulled her scarf higher up her neck, burying her face in it.

“…Just go and untie it,” Pumpkin Cake shook her head, “I know he’s annoying, but you can’t keep doing that.”

Instead of responding, Temporal Spectrum trotted over to Cream Pie, and yanked the scarf off, sending the colt rolling into another wall.

“…Well, you can’t win them all.” The mare sighed before turning her attention towards Gem, “Now you’re a new face.”

“Oh, um…I’m Golden Gem,” Golden Gem shrunk back a little, “I’m…”

“She’s –MRFPH!” Temporal Spectrum quickly wrapped the scarf around Cream Pie’s mouth, cutting off his response.

“She’s Stratos’s cousin.” Temporal responded.

“Eeyup!” Golden Gem nervously grinned at Pumpkin Cake.

“…Seems like he’s been having a lot of cousins come and visit him lately,” Pumpkin Cake shrugged, “Oh well, they say the Apples have a lot of relatives. I’m Pumpkin Cake, by the way.”

“Um...Nice to meet you,” Golden Gem nodded.

“Well, I need to head back to the bakery. You should stop by sometime,”

With that, the mare trotted off, leaving the three foals behind. Temporal unwrapped her scarf from around Cream Pie’s mouth.

“That was close,” the filly sighed, “We’re not suppose to tell other ponies about that, remember?”

“Yeah, but we know. My mom knows. Why can’t Pumpkin know?” Cream Pie shrugged.

“Why does your mom know?” Temporal shot back.

“Her Pinkie sense!”

Cream Pie bounded off, leaving the two behind.

“…He seemed excited to see her.” Golden Gem noted.

“He has a crush on her,” Temporal shook her head, “I don’t think he realizes that he’s doing a terrible job of keeping it secret.”

“…that sounds like Uncle Spike.”

“…Yeah,” Temporal nodded, “Before it was Rarity, Rarity, Rarity, and now it’s Trixie.”

“…What.” Golden Gem stared at her in surprise.

“They have a….what’s the proper thing to call something that’s half pony and half dragon?” Temporal cocked her head to the side.

“…I don’t know, I think Scootaloo and Spike said it before they had Quartz, but I don’t remember.” Gem shrugged.

“…Scootaloo and Spike?” Temporal’s face twisted into an expression of horror.

“…Alternate universes are weird,” Golden Gem nodded.

“I agree,” Temporal nodded.

“Oh there you all are,” a new voice called out to them. A white pegasus colt with a well cared for blue mane trotted over towards the two fillies.

“Oh. Hi Golden Breeze,” Temporal smiled, “You just mi-”

“HI BREEZY!” Cream Pie leapt through the air at Breeze. Temporal and Golden Gem both reached out and yanked the pegasus to the ground, the unicorn sailed past the group and crashed into an empty barrel.

“…Thanks.” Golden Breeze got back onto his hooves, “Who’s this?”

“Oh, this is….” Temporal trailed off.

“Oh, I’m Golden Gem,” the filly grinned, “I’m Stratos’s cousin.”

“Ah, you do sort of look like him,” the colt nodded, “My name’s Golden Breeze. My father’s Soarin’, maybe you’ve heard of him?”

“Soarin? The ex-wonderbolt? He mar…” Golden Gem trailed off.

“Ex-wonderbolt?” Golden Breeze cocked his head to the side, “He’s still a Wonderbolt.”

“…Oh, right,” Golden Gem gave the colt an awkward smile.

“…You seem oddly familiar…” Golden Breeze frowned and looked at Gem closer.

“Well, um…”

“That’s because you guys have the same mom!” Cream Pie cheerfully informed the colt. Golden Gem stared back at him horrified, while Temporal buried her head into her hooves.

“…I beg your pardon?” Golden Breeze inquired.

“It’s…sort of complicated,” Golden Gem sighed.

“What’s so complicated about being from an alternate universe where Stratos’s dad married Breezy’s mom?” Cream Pie shrugged.

“The fact that you’re technically the alternate universe counterpart to not one but two ponies from very different backgrounds, both in the genetic and historical sense? The fact that unlike Stratos, Golden Breeze has never encountered one of his counterparts, nor has Golden Gem encountered one that is her counterpart on her mother’s side?” Temporal Spectrum shook her head, “You can be such a dense idiot at times.”

Golden Gem looked down, away from Golden Breeze.

“…Perhaps we should talk about it?” the colt offered, “We can go to my house, Dad is off at a function and mom went with him, and Aunty Sweetie Belle is off with her marefriend.
That is, if you want to.”

“…Alright.” Gem nodded. And with that, the pegasus and unicorn began walking towards the boutique.

“I wanna come t-”

Temporal Spectrum grabbed Cream Pie by the tail, preventing him from following the two counterparts.

“No we’re not,” Spectrum grumbled.

The two alternate counterparts continued their way through town.

“…So, Big Macintosh and Rarity?” Golden Breeze inquired.


“You wouldn’t happened to have known Center Stage, would you?” the colt continued.

“He’s…also one of our counterparts.” Gem added, “I mean one to Stratos and I.”

“I figured,” the colt sighed, “…Mom’s always busy isn’t she?”

“Eeyup,” the filly nodded.

“It gets lonely, doesn’t it?” Breeze noted.

“Eeyup,” the filly nodded.

“Well…Mom’s famous, and I guess marrying someone just as famous does that. And Mr. Macintosh is always busy running the farm, so I guess that’s just how things are.”

“That doesn’t mean we have to like it though,” Gem added.


The two stopped in front of the boutique, Golden Breeze fiddled with the door, finally unlocking it and pushing it inwards.
The colt stood to the side, offering Gem the option of going in first.

“We have pie. Apple Pie from Mr. Macintosh, since dad loves those so much.”

“That sounds fine.”

The two ponies entered the building, closing the door behind them.

I swear it's everywhere (Part 3)

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Dimension 443

“Hey! You, long-maned fella, get up!”

Stratos fell out of the bed as Grandpa George Cave frowned at him from the doorway.

“What’s a matter? Back in my day we were up by four fifteen so we could do all our chores before breakfast…” the elderly stallion shook his head, “Kids these days….”

Stratos hopped to his feet and trotted out of the door. As he headed towards the kitchen, an older colt with a red mane, a pink bandana tied around his neck, and a cutie mark in the shape of two loaded crossbows, stopped by the stairs.

“Um…hi,” Stratos grinned.

“….Paula, who’s the kid?” the colt called down the stairs.

“He’s Stratos. He’s one of Bliss’s friends.”

The colt frowned as he looked at Stratos, “…I’ve never seen you before, but alright.”

The two headed down the stairs and towards the kitchen where Paula placed another waffle onto a plate.

“Right then, Stratos, this is Applebud, My baby brother.”

“I ain’t a little kid any more, sis.” The colt grumbled.

“Oh don’t be like that,” Paula chided him, “Why I remember it like it was just yesterday when Scooteroll, Charmin’ Chime and you were running around’ hollerin’ about Cutie Mark Crusading.” The mare chuckled, “Well, best you get started, I made apple waffles.”

Applebud and Stratos began to pile waffles onto their plates and gobble them down. The front door creaked open, and a haggard Erebus entered, bags under his eyes and hay stuck in his mane and tail. The stallion sat next to Applebud and sighed.

“You don’t look so good, Uncle Erebus,” Applebud paused to take a drink of milk, “Did ya get into a fight with sis again?”

“In a way,” Erebus sighed before using his magic to bring a plate with waffles towards him.

Stratos warily continued to eat his waffles. Grandpa George Cave suddenly thrust his plate at the colt.

“Want’m? I can’t eat too much before I go to the doctor.” The elderly stallion offered, “ ‘sides, I can’t have as much sugar as I useta.”

“Thanks Mr. Cave,” Stratos quickly shoveled the waffles onto his plate and began to devour them.

“He’s got a better appetite than Bliss, that’s for sure.” George Cave chuckled while Erebus froze up.

“Don’t you get started on that again,” Paula warned as she placed another pile of waffles on the table, “Otherwise you can eat your waffles with the pigs.”

“…” Erebus continued to eat in silence while Paula took a seat at the table.

“Now then, this is what we have ta do today. Erebus, you’re gonna take Granddaddy to the doctor today,”

“I don’t need no chaperone, I can get there myself!” the elderly stallion grumbled.

“It’s to make sure that you get the medicine you need,” Paula gently reminded him, “We don’t want another accident like that again.
And don’t you even think of tryin’ to sneak off, Erebus.”

“I have received notice that both my brother, Prince Tempo and the Elements are off in Ibexiana on business, so that would not be advisable,” Erebus grumbled.

“Good. Bud what are you up to today?”

“Well, um….” Applebud fidgeted, “I was gonna go see what Lickity wanted to do today.”

“It’s good that you got a marefriend, boy, but you oughta be on the farm, workin’,” George Cave shook his head.

“Grandaddy, it’s fine,” Paula chided him before turning her attention to Applebud, “You take her somewhere nice for lunch, you hear?”

“I know sis.”

“What about me?” Stratos inquired.

“Hmm. I’m not sure, Bud, would you mind taking him along?”

“…Do I have ta?”

“Oh don’t be like that, I’m sure Lickity would like to meet him, she likes kids, doesn’t she?”

“Well yeah, but…” Applebud started.

“Then that’s settled!” Paula beamed, “Now you better hurry up, Granddaddy.”


Stratos and Applebud walked down the street. Applebud glanced at the colt as he continued to stare at the ponies and town.

“..So who’d you say your mom and dad was again?” Applebud inquired.

“Oh, um…Big Macintosh and Cloudchaser,” Stratos grinned.

“…I don’t remember no uncle named Big Macintosh, and I’ve been to the last couple of reunions.” The colt frowned.

“Um…He was in the hospital.”

“Three times?”

“He…was busy the other times.”

“…Alright kid.” Applebud shrugged, not fully convinced.

An amber coated earth mare with a cream colored mane and a cutie mark in the shape of a bowl of ice cream left a store, her packs filled with vegetables and fruits. Applebud smiled and adjusted his bandana before heading towards her.

“Mornin’ Lickity.” Applebud politely nodded at the mare.

“Oh! Applebud,” Lickity smiled. The mare trotted over to the colt and gave him a peck on the check.

“Yuk.” Stratos retched and turned away, shielding his eyes.

“Who’s your little friend?” Lickity looked past Applebud.

“I’m Stratos.”

“He’s my cousin, apparently,” Applebud shrugged, “I dunno how, but…”

Applebud trailed off as Lickity embraced Stratos.

“You’re adorable!”

“Ahehehehe…” Stratos turned a bright shade of red, “Thanks Miss Lickity.”

“…” Applebud sighed as Lickity let go of Stratos.

“So where are you from?” the mare inquired.

“I’m from…Pony…let. Ponylet.” Stratos’s muzzle scrunched up as he replied.

“Ponylet?” Lickity frowned.

“I ain’t never head about a City called Ponylet.” Applebud shook his head.

“It’s a small town,” Stratos’s eyes flickered from Applebud to Lickity, “Really small.”

“…Well alright,” Lickity shrugged, “I’m actually foalsitting Regal Spectrum and Corundum Star today, so we can’t really do much.”

“That’s fine,” Applebud nodded, “I gotta watch Stratos to-”

The colt trailed off as Erebus struggled pass the group, dragging Grandaddy George Cave behind him.



“…Your family is so weird sometimes.” Lickity watched as the alicorn continue on his way.

“Eeyup.” Applebud and Stratos nodded in agreement.


Lickity pushed open her door, leading the group into the house. Two unicorns sat in the middle of the room, intently staring at their game of chess.

“Kids, I’m back!” Lickity greeted the two of them. Both unicorns silently nodded their acknowledgements as Applebud and Stratos entered. The unicorn playing the white pieces had a white coat and rainbow colored mane, while the unicorn playing the black pieces had a purple coat and blonde mane.
The two continued to focus on their game as Stratos sat next to them.

“Fellas, this is Stratos,” Applebud introduced him, “He’s my cousin.”
“Um…Hi.” The pegasus nervously greeted the two unicorns. Both nodded as the rainbow maned one moved a pawn.

“They don’t talk much,” Lickity apologized, “Boys, introduce yourselves.”

“I’m Regal Spectrum,” the rainbow maned unicorn nodded.

“Corundum Star. Call me Cory.” The other unicorn moved his bishop, taking one of Spectrum’s Knights, “Your move.”

“…” Spectrum moved his remaining knight, taking Cory’s queen, “Check. So where are you from?”


“Ponylet?” Cory scoffed, “Never heard of it.” The colt moved his king out of the way, taking one of Spectrum’s pawns.

“It’s a very small town.”

“…Where is it located?” Spectrum moved another pawn, taking Cory’s remaining bishop.

“Um…” Stratos trailed off, “by a forest.”

“Alright, you kids behave. Bud, I might need some…help with something.” Lickity trailed off.

“Oh, right.”

The two trotted into the kitchen, leaving the three colts in silence.

“…Alright, let’s not kid ourselves,” Spectrum broke the silence, “Which one are you?”

“Wh…what?” Stratos blinked.

“Bliss mentioned you before,” Cory responded, “It’s Big Macintosh and…who again?”

“….Cloudchaser.” Stratos responded, “Did Bliss mention Nova?”

“Her genderswapped counterpart?” Spectrum inquired as he moved his rook, “Once or twice. Check.”

“She’s…I think Miss Paula called him Raindancer’s counterpart.” Stratos added.

“Oh. So he’s Flapper’s brother,” Cory moved his king again, taking the other rook, “Interesting.”

“Why? Who did he marry?”

“Well…” Cory and Spectrum exchanged awkward glances, “….Another guy.”

“…Oh,” Stratos blinked, “………That’s weird.”

“I would imagine so,” Spectrum moved another pawn, placing it on the back row of Cory’s board, “I would like my Queen back.”

“What about our counterparts?” Cory inquired.

“Oh, Well…Rainbow Dash married Doctor Whooves and had a girl named Temporal Spectrum.”

“…Doctor Whooves?” Spectrum’s eyebrow rose.

“Probably Professor Whooves’s counterpart,” Cory shrugged, “What of…Who did she say Pish Posh’s counterpart was?”

“Fancy Pants,” Spectrum responded.

“…I dunno.” Stratos shrugged, “He’s rich and famous, we’re…not.”

“What about Dusk Shine and Princess Bluebelle?” Cory pushed on.


“I think Bliss said they were…Twilight Sparkle and Prince Blueblood?”

“Oh, um….Miss Twilight still isn’t married,” Stratos responded, “I dunno why. I dunno about Prince Blueblood.”

The other two colts shrugged and returned to their game.

“…Is this all you guys do?” Stratos frowned.

“More or less.” Cory moved his pawn, “Checkmate.”

“…That makes us tied at Seventy-three each.”

“…” Stratos flopped onto his back, “Is there something else we could do?”



Two Days later

Two Flashes of light erupted in Lyra’s living room, depositing Stratos and Midnight Bliss atop the Sofa.
Bonbon peeked in from the kitchen.

“Oh, it’s you two. Mac, It’s Bliss and Stratos.”

Stratos undid the dimensional transporter on his leg and handed it to Bliss,
“This one’s yours.”

“I got Scarlet’s, so who got yours?” Bliss removed the device on her leg, and strapped the proper one on.

“I dun-”

Another flash of light blinded the two foals, and Scarlet Tornado landed on the coffee table. The filly collapsed and groaned.

“Where did you come from?” Bliss inquired, “This one is yours, by the way.”

“I got stuck in Center Stage’s universe,” the pegasus filly undid the device and fastened hers, “Did you know he’s got a little brother and sister? And that they’re more annoying that he is?”

“I don’t think that’s possible.” Bliss replied.

“…..So that leaves…Gem and Center Stage.”

Two more flashes of light deposited the last two unicorns on top of Scarlet’s back.

“This is yours.” Center Stage passed Golden Gem her device, while Scarlet passed Center Stage’s his device. Stratos took his device back from Gem and attached it to his leg, just as Big Macintosh entered the room.

“…What are you doing?”

“We got all our things mixed up from the last visit.” Golden Gem responded.

“…Alright kids, next time label yours, so this doesn’t happen again.”

Razzle Dazzle 'em

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In a flash of light, Center Stage appeared in the middle of a street. The colt looked around and frowned at the vacant street.

“Where is everypo-”

Three sets of hooves reached out of a nearby building and yanked the colt inside.

“What are you doing??!?!” the colt yelled, turning around to see Apple Cinnamon, Golden Gem and Acey Mac.

“Quiet!” Acey hushed him.

“What is wrong with you all?” the colt demanded.

“Just shut up and look out there.” Apple Cinnamon pointed towards a window.

“Why should I?”

“Just do it!” Golden Gem ordered.

“…Whose house is this anyway?” Center Stage grumbled as he headed towards the window and looked out.

The colt’s eyes widened in surprise as he took in the scene: Twilight stared at a foal greatly resembling Snips next to an elderly unicorn that resembled Snails. Next to them, stood a unicorn wearing a black hooded cape with a small alicorn amulet fastened to it.

“An age spell? But- how could you do an age spell?” Twilight stared at the unicorn in horror and shock, “That’s only for the highest level unicorns!”

“What’s going on?” Center Stage turned his attention to the three fillies, “Who’s that?”

“Just keep watching!”

“Trixie is the highest level Unicorn!” the hooded pony, Trixie, triumphantly announced.

“MOM?!?!?” Center Stage stared at the scene in horror, “But…But…that never happened!”

“It did in my Universe.” Golden Gem responded.

“Mine too.” Acey nodded.

“I think something must have happened in your universe that prevented this from happening there,” Apple Cinnamon added, “This doesn’t look good.”

“Don’t worry, Aunt Twilight fixed it!” Golden Gem added.

Ropes suddenly appeared, binding Twilight’s legs together. Before any other pony could react, a massive birdcage materialized around Twilight, leaving the unicorn suspended from the ceiling of it.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing!?!?” Rainbow Dash shouted at the unicorn.

“Yeah, you said you were just going to banish her!” another pony in the crowd yelled.

“I changed my mind,” Trixie curtly responded, “This is a fitting punishment, do you not agree? Suspended here, unable to leave or do anything but watch the great and powerful unicorn who bested you!”
Trixie turned to the remaining elements and other towns ponies.

“Nor shall any of you do anything to stop it!”

With barely any effort, a massive bubble engulfed Ponyville, sending the townsponies into a blind panic. A second, smaller bubble surrounded Twilight, separating her from her friends.

“As a final word of advice, that bubble is impenetrable. Do not do anything so foolish to endanger your friend, or anger me.” Trixie smirked.

“…That’s not how it went in my universe,” Golden Gem stared on in horror.

“Not mine either.’ Acey shook her head.

Another flash light up the room, as Bellona, Idun, and Golden Sweet appeared.

“Did you all see that?!?” Golden Sweet stared at the others, “what are we going to do?”

“I think we need to get to dad’s.” Idun stated, “It’s far enough away from this so we can plan something without her noticing anything.
Bellona, can you teleport this ma-”

The hybrid snapped her fingers, as the group suddenly appeared in the Apple’s barn.

“-ny ponies…” Idun trailed off.

“Eeyup.” Bellona grinned.


Lyra, Big Macintosh and the assembled foals sat around in a circle, pondering. Off in the corner of the barn, Center Stage remained curled up in the fetal position.

“Mom would never do that mom would never do that mom would never do that,” the colt continued to mumble that phrase over and over.

“…I think he had a nervous breakdown, Mac.” Lyra shook her head, “Can’t say I blame him.”

“…We could get Spike to send a letter to the Princesses.” Golden Sweet suggested.

“No, she caught Applejack trying to do that and now the two of them have their own cages next to Twilight.” Big Macintosh shook his head, “I’d try to get her out of it, but Applebloom and her friends already tried.”

“What happened to her?” Apple Cinnamon frowned.

“They’re stuck pullin’ Trixie’s cart,” Big Macintosh gritted his teeth, “Bellona, Idun, you two think you can take her on?”

“….I could. But I don’t think Ponyville will survive, dad.” Bellona shook her head, “As much as I would like to turn the Cake’s house into a giant gingerbread spider to fight her, I don’t think it’s gonna work.”

“I would have to agree with Bellona, father,” Idun nodded, “While we are not normal ponies, our own skill level is far below hers.”

“…” Big Macintosh frowned, “I reckon if we had Nova, Bliss, Fantasia and Oscura here that might have a chance of working, but their transporters are still rechargin’.
I’m really not sure what else we can do.”

“There’s actually another problem,” Lyra added, “From what Gem and Acey said, this happened in their universes, but slightly differently. What about the rest of you?”

“….The Trixie of my universe is a mainstay in Las Pegasus, Miss Heartstrings, I’ve never met her before.” Idun shook her head.

“Dad said that Trixie is a Necromancer, and tried to kill him, Missus Rarity and Mr. Turner.” Golden Sweet shook her head.

“Never heard of her.” Apple Cinnamon shook her head.

“…It happened the same way it did in Gem and Acey’s universe.” Bellona shrugged.

“…So something must have happened differently here, to cause that divergence,” Lyra turned to Big Macintosh, “I think the kids are starting to affect the time stream.”

“Lyra this ain’t the time for that,” Big Macintosh shook his head.

As the other ponies argued, Apple Cinnamon trotted over to Center Stage, taking a seat by him.

“Stage, we need your help.”

“I don’t wanna do anything.” Center Stage muttered.

“…We all know that’s not your mom.”

“Sure it is.”

“No, listen. She’d never act like that around you would she?” Apple Cinnamon pushed on.

“…No, she wouldn’t.”

“And she’s not the kind of pony that carries petty grudges, only to punish ponies like that, is she?”


“So that means she’s already acting weird.”

“…Eeyup.” Center Stage got off his side, sitting back up.

“So help us figure this out. Why is she acting like that?” Apple Cinnamon asked.

“…When she found out she was in Ponyville, she acted terrified, scared that the ponies she insulted would run her out of town.” Center Stage explained, “So something must be affecting how she acts.”

“Did you see anything different about her?” Apple Cinnamon continued.

“It’s the Amulet around her neck.” Acey told the group, “Ma said that it gives the user great powers, but make’s them more evil every time they use it.”

“So we just have to steal it from her,” Bellona grinned, “This sounds like my kinda plan.”

“It doesn’t work that way,” Golden Gem shook her head, “ There’s a spell on it that prevents that from happening. In my universe, Twilight was able to trick her into taking it off, but that’s not going to work here.”

“NOT SO FAST!” Center Stage stood up and trotted over to the group.

“You feeling alright, Stage?” Big Macintosh inquired.

“I feel great, dad,” the unicorn colt grinned at the rest of the group, “and I have a plan. I’m going to need some other ponies though.”


“Me?” Carrot Top shook her head, “Why do you need me?”

“Because I’m here and Center Stage said we need ponies that look similar for this to work, mom.” Golden Sweet responded.

“…Alright, if that means saving Ponyville, I’ll do it.”


“-An’ that’s why we need you Ma.” Acey concluded.

“…Do you all really think that is going to work?” the school teacher shook her head, “If this doesn’t work…”

“Pa trusts Center Stage, and I trust Pa.” Acey nodded.

“…Then we’ll give it a try.”


“Kid, that’s got to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Rainbow Dash stared at Apple Cinnamon in disbelief, “You want me and Lyra to do what?”

“That’s the plan, Miss Dash. I didn’t come up with it, but I think it will work.”

“…Well, it’s better than sitting around and doing nothing. Count me in on this.” The pegasus nodded in agreement.


“Certainly I can make this.” Rarity placed a sheet of paper down, “Give me a few moments and then I will come along.”

“Thank you Mommy.” Golden Gem nodded.

Before the filly could leave, Apple Jam appeared in the middle of the room.

“…Um…I made a mistake.” Jam blushed.

“Nevermind, we can use you to help us with something,” Golden Gem smiled.


“…And that’s the plan.” Center Stage concluded.

“…Kid, that’s insane.” Rainbow Dash shook her head, “How are you even going to make sure she doesn’t notice?”

“That’s where I come in,” Bellona grinned, “Slight of hoof and invisibility spells can only do so much.”

“…Mac, you really expect us to trust Discord’s daughter?” Dash frowned.

“She hasn’t let any of us down in the clutch,” Big Macintosh responded, “Besides, she knows better than to mess this up.”

“I know dad,” Bellona nodded, “You can trust me, Miss Dash.”

“…Then let’s get this over with.”


Trixie watched as Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon struggled to carve a statue.

“Stop, stop.” The unicorn shook her head, “That looks nothing like me. Start over.”

“This is the seventh one you’ve made us do!” Diamond Tiara shouted back, “Wha-”

The filly’s response was cut off as her mouth vanished from her face. Diamond Tiara frantically began to paw at her the blank fur where her mouth was as the others stared at her in horror.

“No. Talking. Back.” Trixie scowled, “Back to work, and this time make it good.”

The unicorn stalked off as Silver Spoon rushed over to her friend. Trixie stopped in front of several cages, and smiled at Twilight Sparkle.

“So, Twilight Sparkle, tell me what you think of my…Great and Powerful redecorations of the town?” the unicorn coyly asked. Twilight responded by staring daggers at the mare, who simply laughed in response.

“So typical. But where are your friends now? I’ve captured the stupid one, and I have yet to see the other four.” The unicorn continued one, “Perhaps I-”

Trixie trailed off as a wagon rolled into the middle of Ponyville’s center court. The wagon stopped, as the collected ponies continued to stare at it. In a flash of rainbow colored lights, the wagon exploded, revealing a small stage.

“What is this mockery?” Trixie snapped.
“You!” the unicorn pointed at Berry Punch, “What is the meaning of this?!?!”

“No clue.” The earth mare shrugged.


Another explosion of color revealed Center Stage, his cape fastened around his neck by a small sapphire in the shape of a spade. The colt grinned at the assembled ponies before continuing,

“THE MAGNIFICENT AND ILLUSTRIOUS CENTER STAGE!” the colt announced to the growing group of ponies. The colt flashed an even bigger grin at the crowd as Trixie exploded in anger.

“WHAT IS THIS…this…this mockery!?!?” Trixie snapped at the colt.

“This ‘mockery’ is none other than the Magnificent and Illustrious Center Stage,” the colt scoffed, “Do you not recognize the name? Then let me inform you!”


Apple Cinnamon peeked into the telescope aimed at the town square.

“Alright, he’s monologuing now.” Apple Cinnamon nodded at Bellona, “Get ready for the first one.”


“…And I began my world tour!” Center Stage concluded.

“But how did you penetrate my barrier?” Trixie snarled.

“Such amateurish spells are... foal’s play for one as skilled as I,” Center Stage smugly replied, “After all, if I could be stopped by such a weak spell, would I truly be Magnificent and Illustrious?”

Applejack and Twilight rolled their eyes, as Trixie fumed.

“Any other questions?’ Center Stage grinned, “Good. Then let us go-”

“What is that around your neck?” an unseen pony in the crowd called out.

“This? This is the Amulet of Porcina. Certainly you’ve heard about it, yes?” the colt frowned as several ponies in the crowd shook their heads or shrugged.

“…Well, long story short, in the distant past, before Discord’s or the Princesses’ rule, there was a mighty princess known as Porcina, a renowned sorceress of great power and skill.
This was her amulet, capable of great and powerful magic beyond what most unicorns and even alicorns were capable of.”

“Then how did you get it?” Trixie snapped.

“Who do you think I’m related to?” Center Stage grinned back, “I see that you also posses an amulet of lesser power.
Care to see what I am capable of? Talk is cheap after all, and there’s nothing like a fantastic magic show to get one’s blood pumping.”


“I take that as a “yes”,” the colt grinned, “First, an age spell! Might I have two volunteers?”

Cheerilee and Carrot Top exchanged nervous glances and trotted onto the stage.


The Library

“Alright they’re on stage. Don’t mess this up, Bell.” Apple Cinnamon jerked her head, “Sweet, Acey, get ready.”

“Eeyup.” Both fillies, their manes and coats dyed the exact same shade as their mothers nodded.


“Please give your names to the audience,” Center Stage motioned towards the crowd.

“They know who we are,” Carrot Top frowned.

“Oh, play along, these things are fun,” Cheerilee beamed at the crowd, “I’m Cheerilee.”

“…Carrot Top,” the other mare rolled her eyes.

“Tell me, do either of you ever miss your childhood?” Center Stage pushed on, confusing the two mares.

“…No.” Carrot Top shook her head.

“…Sometimes.” Cheerilee blushed.


Center Stage’s horn exploded into light, engulfing the two mares. As the light cleared and faded, the two mares were replaced with identical looking fillies.

“…I don’t feel any differ…” the Carrot Top filly trailed off, “Is that my voice?”

“Eeyup.” the Cheerilee filly nodded.

The Library

“She’s not suppose to say that,” Apple Cinnamon slapped her forehead.


“Pfft. Any pony can do an age spell.” Trixie scoffed as Center Stage restored Cheerilee and Carrot Top to their proper ages.

“True,” Center Stage shrugged, “most ponies need something to amplify their powers though. Although to be honest, I don’t need this to do it.” The colt motioned towards his amulet, “It just takes the strain off for my next trick.”

Center Stage turned his attention to the audience, “I need another volunteer…you!”

The colt pointed through the crowd at Sweetie Belle.

“Me?” the unicorn filly blinked in confusion.

“Yes, you! Come up and take part in the greatest show in Equestria!”

Sweetie Belle nervously looked at Applebloom and Scootaloo, before looking at Trixie.
The mare rolled her eyes in exasperation.

“Oh go on,” Trixie waved her away with a hoof, “Maybe he’ll saw you in half.”

Sweetie Belle nervously trotted onto stage, as Center Stage beamed.

“Now then, what’s your name?”

Sweetie Belle gave the colt a confused look, “But yo…” the filly trailed off as Center Stage quickly shook his head, “I’m Sweetie Belle.” The filly corrected herself.

“Any siblings?”

“Well…” Sweetie Belle trailed off, “I have an older sister, but she’s always busy.”

“How would you like more?” Center Stage grinned, “I just need a hair…”

Center Stage’s magic aura plucked a hair out of Sweetie Belle’s mane.

“Ow!” the filly yelled.

“It’ll just be a moment…” Center Stage focused on the hair.

“Sweetie Belle!” Rarity pushed her way through the crowd, “What are you doing up there?”

“But he said he’d do a magic tri-”

Sweetie Belle trailed off as a bright light blinded her. As her sight returned, the filly found herself staring at two other Sweetie Belles.

“…Woah.” The original blinked.

“...Um…what are we going to tell mom and dad?” One of the Sweetie Belles meekly smiled.

The three Sweetie Belles turned their attention to Rarity as she stared at the scene in horror.

“Wha…but…how…uuhhhh…” Rarity dramatically fainted.

The Library

“…The ham.” Bellona chuckled.


Trixie stood up in shock.

“A duplication spell? Impossible!”

“Or is it?” Center Stage grinned, “Your eyes do not deceive you.”

The colt began to pace the stage as the Sweetie Belles carried the unconscious Rarity off.

“Hmm…I feel that this is starting to become…old. Age regression. Duplicates. I believe there is only one thing left to do…” Center Stage turned his attention to the crowd, “And I need two volunteers.”

The crowd began to call to be picked by the colt, further frustrating Trixie.

“You and….You.”

Center Stage focused, yanking two tails up into the air, and dragging the ponies out of the crowd. A very angry Rainbow Dash and Lyra found themselves on the stage, in front of a cheering crowd.

“Well aren’t you a happy couple.” Center Stage smirked.

“I’m not gay!” Rainbow Dash snapped.

“I have a coltfriend,” Lyra grumbled.

The crowd chuckled as the two mares shot the crowd a dirty look.

“Okay, that’s it!” Rainbow Dash snapped, “Give me a moment kid.”

“Me too.”

Rainbow Dash took off, while Lyra scanned the crowd.

“…There he is.” Lyra grinned and focused. A pony was yanked out of the crowd, and brought to the front. Lyra grinned as Big Macintosh continued to struggle against the magical aura. Rainbow Dash arrived shortly after, setting a grey coated unicorn stallion with a dark magenta mane down onto the stage.

“Mac and I have been together for almost a year now,” Lyra paused, “should I mention that yet?” she whispered to the stallion. Big Macintosh shook his head in response.

“It’d be nice if you put me down.”

“Right, right.” Lyra’s aura vanished, dropping the stallion onto the stage.

“See this guy?” Rainbow Dash motioned towards the unicorn stallion, “This is my coltfriend!”

“Um... we actually have been dating for a couple of months now.” The stallion chuckled.

“Tell’m Script.” Rainbow Dash grinned, “And if you still don’t believe us…” Rainbow Dash grabbed Written Script, pulling the stallion closer to her before planting a passionate kiss on his lips. Written Script’s expression changed from shock to enjoyment and responded in kind to the cheering crowd.

Center Stage rolled his eyes, “Ick. Don’t slobber all over my stage, I just had it cleaned. Now then…I think I need a little of this and that.”

Center Stage plucked a hair out of the tails from both mares.

“Ow! Hey!” Rainbow yelled.

“Be quiet.” Center Stage ordered, “A few…other items…” the colt brought out two vials with an unknown liquid.
“And with this…we create LIFE!”

“Wait what?!!” Rainbow Dash and Lyra yelled as the colt mixed the two hairs and liquids together. He yelped in surprise as the mixture fizzed, foamed and eventually exploded into a bright flash of rainbow lights and rainbow smoke.
As the smoke cleared an alicorn filly with a rainbow mane and a mint coat. The filly blinked and scanned the area. Upon setting her eyes on Lyra and Rainbow Dash, she broke out in a smile.

“Mommys!” the filly’s wings began to flutter, propelling her towards the mares.

“…Huh. So that’s what happens when I use a pegasus and unicorn.” Center Stage shrugged.
“And this is all due to my amulet!”

Center Stage raised a hoof towards the amulet, only to find nothing there.

“Wait…” the colt looked down, “Where’s my amulet?”

“HA-HA!” Trixe headed to the stage in triumph, levitating the amulet with her, “NOW WE WILL SEE WHO REALLY IS GREAT AND POWERFUL!”

The showmare tore off the Alicorn Amulet and replaced it with the Amulet of Porcina. The mare tossed the Alicorn Amulet aside as she turned her attention to Center Stage.

The Library

“She took it off, go!” Apple Cinnamon ordered Bellona.

“On it.” The Draconequuis vanished.


“…Why is it not working?” Trixie grew increasingly frustrated, “This…This is not possible.”

Center Stage grinned, “My amulet is fake, but my magic is not. Slight of hoof goes a very long way.”

“You…You tricked me!” Trixie stammered.

“You fooled yourself, Trixie,” Center Stage responded, “The Alicorn Amulet is not a toy for petty tricks or revenge, It is something capable of great evil.”
The colt paused, “And I know you are not evil.”


“But nothing!” Center Stage snapped, “So what if she upstaged you once? There is a massive world out there, with audiences who would care less about what happened in a little Podunk!”

The Colt stomped his hoof and pointed an accusing hoof at her, “You let yourself be consumed by frustration, and let it ruin your life!”

Trixie opened her mouth to speak, only for her to close it and hang her head in shame.

“You are correct, young colt.” Trixie responded.

The mare turned around and released a burst of magic, freeing Applejack, Spike and Twilight Sparkle.

“Twilight Sparkle, for what it is worth, Trixie is… sorry,” the showmare apologized, “It may not be much but that is what I can offer you.”

“Trixie…there’s no need to apologize,” Twilight shook her head, “The Amulet was affecting you.”

“Only because I allowed it!” the mare snapped back, “This young showpony is correct, I must salvage what is left of my reputation.”

“Well at least she’s over that,” Spike muttered to Applejack.

“The next time you shall see me is when I have become the greatest entertainer in Equestria!” Trixie announced to the collected ponies who shrugged in response.

“Well that’s over with,” Center Stage clapped his hooves together as the stage burst into smoke, reforming the carriage, “I shall be on my way.”

“Wait.” Trixie stopped the colt, “Tell me one thing.”


“Why do you believe in me so much?” Trixie inquired.

“…” Center Stage grinned, “I said I learned from the best….Mom.”

With that, the colt and stage vanished.

Ponyville Library

Bellona, the Cart and Center Stage appeared behind Apple Cinnamon.

“Good work.” The pegasus nodded, “You got the Amulet?”

“Right here,” Bellona held it out, “It’s pretty too, I can feel its power…”

“No.” Center Stage’s aura surrounded the amulet and placed it into a box, “We’re sending it to Princess Celestia.”

“Spoil sport.” Bellona pouted before teleporting away.

“Stage, What did you tell her at the end?” Apple Cinnamon inquired, “She seemed pretty surprised to hear it.”

Center Stage paused, pondering whether or not to tell the truth. After several minutes passed, the colt grinned.

“A magician never reveals all his secrets.”

Mother's Little Helper

View Online

Sweetie Belle yawned and hopped out of bed. The filly walked down the hallway and down towards the kitchen. Apple Jam sat at the table eating her breakfast.

“Hi Miss Sweetie Belle!” the filly greeted her with a mouthful of burnt toast.

“Hi Jam! Where’s Rarity?”

“Um…Miss Rarity said something about she hadda order to do in Cloudsdale so Mr. Thunderlane rushed her there.
And Gem’s not here either.”

“Well…I guess you can go to the clubhouse with me,” Sweetie Belle offered, “Unless any of the others are here.”


The Clubhouse

“Nope. None of the others showed up,” Scootaloo shook her head, “It’s just her.”

“Well that’s fine; she can hang out with us!” Sweetie Belle beamed.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo and Apple Jam agreed, while Applebloom stared at the three horrified.

“I…I don’t think that’s a good idea.” The earth filly shook her head.

“Why not? You let Scarlet and Gem play with us, why not Apple Jam?” Scootaloo countered.

“I’ll behave, Aunty Applebloom.” Apple Jam nodded.


“Let’s play Chutes and Ladders!” Apple Jam offered.

“No way, Chutes and Ladders is a baby’s game.” Scootaloo scoffed.

“We have Life.” Sweetie Belle held up the box.

“No way,” Scootaloo shook her head, “the last time we played that I ended up with more babies than my thing could hold.”

“What about…Monopoly?” Apple Bloom suggested, “No, we still haven’t found the rest of the twenty bit bills.”

“I said I was sorry,” Sweetie Belle sulked.

The four fillies fell silent as they thought. Scootaloo’s face suddenly broke out into a wicked grin as she chuckled.

“…That doesn’t sound good.” Applebloom sighed, “What are ya thinking?”

“Truth or dare,” the pegasi’s grin widened.

“…I don’t think-”

“Okay!” Sweetie Belle and Apple Jam shouted.

“That settles it then,” Scootaloo grinned, “I’ll start.”


“…But despite all of that, Missus Berry Punch’s mane grew back, Pipsqueek’s leg healed alright and Archer’s parents didn’t sue.” Sweetie Belle noted, “And that’s why I’m not allowed to try and raise flowers on my own.”

The other three fillies stared at her, eyes wide and mouths hanging open.

“…Um, are you all ok?” Sweetie Belle frowned.

“…How does that even work?” Applebloom shook her head.

“…What the hell.” Scootaloo blinked.

“Alright so now it’s Apple Jam’s turn!” Sweetie Belle furrowed her brow in thought, “Truth or Dare?”

“Truth!” the filly beamed.

“Truth? Well then…um…hm….”
The unicorn began to tap her hoof against the floor in thought.

“I got one,” Scootaloo grinned, “If you don’t mind.”

“No, go ahead, I don’t have one.”

“Tell us who your mom is.” Scootaloo pointed a hoof at Apple Jam. The filly’s eyes grew wide, while Applebloom’s expression changed to absolute horror.

“Um…I don’t think I should.” Apple Jam shook her head, “I choose dare instead.”

“Then I dare you to tell us who your mom is,” Scootaloo quickly responded.

“I…I don’t think that’s a good idea, Scootaloo,” Applebloom cut in, “I mean, Big Mac told ya not to ask for a reason, I think.”

“And that’s why I want to know.” Scootaloo countered, “If he doesn’t want us to know, it must be juicy.”

“….Aunty Applebloom?” Apple Jam looked at the earth filly, “should I?”

“…Well, it doesn’t look like we’re gonna get out of this one.” Applebloom sighed, “Just do it.’

“Um...well…” Apple Jam looked at the floor and shuffled her hooves, “Well…”

“Just do it!” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle yelled at her.

The filly pointed one hoof at Sweetie Belle.

“You’re my mommy.” Apple Jam responded.

The room fell into complete silence as the other two fillies took the information in.

“…WHAT THE FUCK?!!” Scootaloo’s outburst shocked the others into action, “How…why…but….ARGH!”

Scootaloo ran into the corner of the treehouse and began smashing her head against the wall.

“…I told her she didn’t want to know,” Applebloom sighed.

“…Do we have any other kids?” Sweetie Belle asked Apple Jam.

“No,” the filly shook her head, “Just me.”

“….I guess that’s ok,” Sweetie Belle shrugged.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!??!!?” Scootaloo shouted at Sweetie Belle, “He’s like fifty years older than you and like seven times bigger than you!”

“Actually Dad’s only twelve years older.” Apple Jam responded, “They got married when mom as eighteen and Dad was Thirty.”

“…THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT BETTER!” Scootaloo yelled back, “Now I got...hgha...dgnjka ARGH!” Scootaloo slammed her head against the wall again.

“…How did Applebloom, Applejack, Granny Smith and Rarity take it?”

“Grandma Pearl and Grandpa Magnum loved it.” Apple Jam beamed, “Um….Aunty Rarity was fine with it, ‘cause she helped them get together and she was dating Rumble.”

“…Rumble?” Applebloom’s eyebrow rose.

“Aren’t you and Rumble kinda together?” Sweetie Belle turned her attention to Applebloom.


“And Granny Smith was happy ‘cause no one else had kids yet. Aunty Applebloom didn’t really mind, but Aunty Applejack was mad.” Apple Jam concluded, “She thought it was…inappropriate?”

“IT SURE IS!” Scootaloo yelled back before smashing her head into the wall again.

“And everypony else in town was weirded out by it. But then Aunty Rainbow Dash pointed out that no pony batted an eye when Aunty Fluttershy and Gilda got into a relationship, or when Spike and Miss Cheerilee got married.”

“Spike and Cheerilee?” Applebloom and Sweetie Belle retched. Scootaloo responded by smacking her head against the wall.

“Um…Is Aunty Scootaloo going to be ok?” Apple Jam glanced at the pegasus.

“I think so.” Sweetie Belle shrugged, “Oh, I know! Who did Applebloom and Scootaloo end up with?”

“Um….Aunty Applebloom and Lucky Strike got married and took over the Bowling Alley.”

“Who’s Lucky Strike?” Sweetie Belle wondered.

“He’s the pony who got his cutie mark when we were trying to see if we could get a bowling cutie mark,” Applebloom grumbled.

“Oh right.”

“And Aunty Scootaloo married Diamond Tiara.” Apple Jam concluded.

“THAT MAKES IT WORSE!” Scootaloo yelled back.

“…I don’t see that happenin’ at all.” Applebloom shook her head.

“Well…It’s ‘cause Diamond Tiara sabotaged Scootaloo’s scooter and Scootaloo got hurt. So as part of her punishment, she hadda take care of Scootaloo and help her around, and they eventually fell in love.”

“STOP TALKING!” Scootaloo screamed as she slammed her head into the wall again. After several moments, blood dripped down her muzzle, and the pegasus collapsed to the ground.

“….Is Aunty Scootaloo okay?” Apple Jam frowned.

Sweetie Belle and Applebloom stood up, and checked on the pegasus.

“…I think she knocked herself out.” Applebloom shook her head, “We better take her to go see Granny and make sure she’s alright.”


The two fillies picked up the unconscious pegasus and hoisted her onto Sweetie Belle’s back.

“Make sure she doesn’t bleed on my coat,” Sweetie Belle instructed, “Otherwise Rarity’s going to try and scrub it out again.”

“You’re taking this well.” Applebloom noted.

“Well…I kinda figured she was related to me. I mean she stayed with Rarity and Gem, but she never called Rarity Mom.”

“I guess…Still…” Applebloom shook her head, “It’s you and my brother.”

“I think it’s cute.” Sweetie Belle beamed.

“Bu…” Applebloom’s face puckered in horror, “Oh no, don’t tell me you have a crush on him?!!”

“No,” Sweetie Belle shook her head, “I like somepony else…”

“…I don’t want to know,” Applebloom shook her head, “C’mon Apple Jam let’s go help Scoots.”


The three fillies left the clubhouse and headed towards the main building.

“Um…I’m not going to get in trouble, am I?” Apple Jam asked.

“I don’t think so, we’ll just blame it on Scootaloo.” Applebloom responded.

Human after all

View Online


The door opened and a young woman dressed in a T-shirt and jeans with green hair streaked with white entered, carrying a grocery bag. Following her, a tanned, brawny man with a scruffy beard, dressed in a red flannel shirt and jeans entered, pausing for a moment to wipe his shoes off. He frowned at the amount of dirt, both on and off the shoe.

“Um…Lyra, can I just take these off an’ leav’m here? I don’t want ta track dirt in…” the man called out.

“Just leave take them off and leave them by the door, James.”

The man, James, untied both boots and left them on the side. He turned around, looking out the door.

“Alright then, you all behave.”

With that, a group of eight year olds, mostly girls, shuffled into the house, quickly wiping their shoes on the welcome mat.

“Lyra, I’m gonna leave them in the livin’ room, is that alright?”

“That’s fine, James.”

“Alright kids, you all behave, got it?” James instructed the children who nodded in acknowledgement, “Alright good.”

James left the kids and entered the kitchen, where the woman, Lyra continued to make coffee.

“Daddy…” a young girl’s voice caught James’ attention. He looked behind him, where a dark-skinned eight year old girl with blue-black hair and a single orange streak running through it looked back up at him.

“What’s wrong, Sparks?” James crouched down.

“Everyone’s hungry.” The girl, Sparks, responded.

“Didn’t Miss Diana give you all a snack?”

“Maddy ate them all,” Sparks pouted.

“Lyra, I hate ta be a bother…” James sighed.

“Cupboard by the sink.” Lyra responded not even looking away from her work.


James opened the cupboard, and took out two packages of cookies. He handed them to Sparks.

“No fightin’ and you all share. Don’t make a mess either, got it?”

“Alright Dad. Can we watch TV too?” the girl asked.


“Fine. Just not too loud, and don’t fight over it.” Lyra sighed as she placed two cups of coffee on the table.

“Thank you Miss Mandolini.” Sparks turned around and went back to the living room. The girl was greeted by the sound of cheers, ripped cellophane and noise chewing. Lyra frowned as James took a seat across from her.

“They better not make a big mess,” Lyra sighed, “Alright James, start talking.”

James took a sip of his coffee and sighed.

“Well, It started after our date. I got home, and before I get inside, Jackie comes outta the house, buzzed, and start’s yellin’ and hollerin’ at me.
Next thing I know she hauls me in the house, and I see Granny spinnin’ a tale in front of Sparks, Melody an’ Tabby. Then Sarah came in, only for Maddy an’ Scarlet ta tackle her to the floor.”

“…” Lyra took a sip of Coffee, “James, Who the hell are they?”

“…That’s where things get weird. Sparks claimed her mother’s Sari, Melody said her mom’s Emile, Tabby’s mom is suppose to be Juliet, Maddy’s mom is Diane, and Scarlet’s mom is Blythe.” James counted off his fingers as he listed their names.

“Who’s Blythe?”

“Dash is Blythe.”

“Dash’s real name is Blythe?” Lyra frowned.

“What kinda parents would name their kid Dash?” James countered.

“…Point taken.”

The Living Room

“I get the last one!” a Pink haired girl in a pink dress called out as she reached for the last cookie.
As she grabbed it, another hand snagged it. A Rainbow haired girl with goggles around her neck, multiple bandages on her legs and arms and dressed in shorts and a T-shirt glared at the Pink haired girl.

“I called it first, Scarlet.” The Pink haired girl noted.

“You ate all the cupcakes, Maddy.” The rainbow haired girl, Scarlet, countered.

The two continued to argue as Sparks tried to calm them down. While they were distracted, a Blonde haired asian girl in a custom designed white dress took the last cookie. She broke it in two and gave the other half to a pink haired girl in an over sized, bunny covered sweater.

“Shhh.” The Blonde motioned to be quiet.

“Thank you.” The sweater girl thanked her.


“….Alright so they all showed up claiming to be your kids,” Lyra paused, “Why did you believe them?”

“….Well, it’s not something that most people would lie about. Especially given who they’re talking about,” James paused, “But…It’s… I don’t know how to describe it. Intuition, I guess.”

“Alright, that’s five of them,” Lyra took a sip of coffee, “What about the others?”

“Well, the five of them got into a bit of a food fight, so I gave’m a bath, and put them in the guest room. Didn’t work, they woke up and crawled into my bed,” James shook his head, “Next thing I know, someone landed on my stomach. I thought it was one of them, but it was A.C.”


“No, A.C.” James vacantly waved the thought away, “She’s Cheryl’s daughter, and she got some ridiculously long name….Anastasia Cry-something.”

“Wait, Cheryl Lee?” Lyra frowned.

“Yeah,” James shrugged, “She’s apparently related to that stunt Sarah, Isabella and Louise tried to pull on Valentine’s Day.”

“…the one where they gave you a love potion?”

“Eeyup. Anyway, it wasn’t just her. So anyway, I woke up, and then three more kids came in.”

“So we’re at what, nine now?” Lyra frowned, “Who’re they?”

“Well, Like I said, A.C.’s Cheryl’s kid. Jeanette’s Stacy’s kid,” James rolled his eyes, “That made Jackie go off like firecracker again.”

Lyra rolled her eyes, “One of these days your sister is going to have to realize that Stacy isn’t trying to put her out of business.”

“Then there was Ginger. She’s Fiona Mitchell’s daughter.” James paused.


“Y’know the Wonderbolts? She’s Spitfire. The captain.”

“…So let me get this straight,” Lyra paused, “You’re telling me you had a kid with the captain of the nation’s greatest stunt flying team.”

“…Apparently. But her story doesn’t add up. She said Jackie lives in Manhattan with my Aunt Orange.” James shrugged, “Don’t make sense to lie like that, so I’m not sure what’s going on there.”


“And then there’s Theo.” James sighed, “He said his mother’s Patrica Twombly.”
James paused as Lyra gave him a confused look, “The Great and Powerful Trixie?”

“You mean that traveling showgirl that came here last year? And let a giant bear rampage through town?” Lyra grumbled, “You had a kid with her?”



“Give me the remote!” a silver haired boy yelled at Scarlet.

“No way, you dick,” Scarlet stuck her tongue out at him, “We’re not watching Adventure Time, We’re gonna watch Teen Titans.”

“I don’t like that show,” an orange haired girl dressed in overalls mumbled.

“I don’t either.” An asian girl with rose-gray hair nodded.

“…Fine!” Scarlet tossed the remote to the side, “Let someone else choose.”

The silver haired boy, and Maddy dived for it, only for a girl with ginger hair to snag it.

“…Dad and Miss Lyra said not to fight over it.”


“So after I got Tabby and Maddy back from Juliet’s and Diane’s we went to the library to talk ta Sari. We got there, and there was Carson and Max.”

“…and their mothers are…” Lyra motioned for James to continue.

“Carson’s Dorthy’s son. So I guess that makes Kelly his half sister, but that ain’t the point. Max is…” James trailed off.
“Hell, you ain’t gonna believe me.”

“James, you’re sitting in my kitchen, drinking coffee, while what, a dozen kids, all of whom claim to be your kids are sitting in my living room fighting over what the want to watch on TV.” Lyra slammed her empty mug down, “Try me.”

“…Princess Selena.” James blushed.

“…You’re right, I don’t believe you.” Lyra shook her head as she went to get more coffee, “I wonder if we still have Vodka, I think I’m going to need it.”


“WE SHALL WATCH STORAGE WARS AND WE SHALL LIKE IT!” a pale skinned, gamboge haired boy in custom designed clothing yelled at the group.

“That’s stupid!” Scarlet and Theo, the silver haired boy, yelled back.

“…I thought we were suppose to behave.” The ginger girl, Ginger, rolled her eyes.

“It’s Max, Scarlet, Maddy and Theo fighting, none of them will,” Sparks shook her head.

“Wait, who has the remote?” another boy with dirty blonde hair asked the others.


“…You are fucking kidding me, James.” Lyra stared at him in disgust.

“Lyra, I’m honestly just as disturbed as you are,” James shook his head.

“You really mean there’s a version of you that fucked Juliet’s sister and had a kid.”

“…Apparently, but Lyra, please don’t talk like that in front of Jamie like that, alright?”

“…James I don’t swear in front of fucking children,” Lyra responded as she fished out a cigarette and lit it, “Even if I fucking want to.”

James frowned, “I thought you were giving up.”

“I was, but after you said that there’s a version of you who’s a goddamn pedophile, I think I can break that promise.” Lyra inhaled and blew the smoke away from James, calming down as she did.
“Alright James, so that’s it?”

“After I explained what was going on to everyone, we were heading back home, and then I ran into you, and…” James shrugged.


“I got it!” a younger girl with mulberry hair held up the remote, “and We’re gonna watch this!”

She pressed the on button and the TV flickered to life. She quickly changed the channel, and increased the volume.

My Little Pony
My Little Pony
Ah ah aahhhh
My Little Pony

I used to wonder what Friendship could be

Everyone cheered while the boys and Scarlet groaned.


“…James do you think it could be those…Changeling beasties and their Queen?” Lyra stubbed out her cigarette.

“I thought about it, but it doesn’t make sense.” James shook his head, “They disguised themselves as actual people, not…alternate children.”

“Point taken.” Lyra pulled out another Cigarette and lit it, “So it’s not changelings, It’s not magic, and I’m pretty damn sure you haven’t been running around getting people pregnant, so it’s…Time Travel?”

“Lyra, I’m a farmer, I don’t know shit about that sorta thing, pardon my language.” James shook his head.

“…So it’s legit then.” Lyra took a drag of her cigarette, “I’m not going to lie, but this is insane.”


“So what are you going to do?” Lyra motioned towards the living room with her cigarette, “I mean…Twelve kids.”

“…I’ve asked Sari to figure out how to send them back, but…”

“You’re not optimistic?” Lyra smirked.

“Let’s just say that there are things no one’s prepared for.” James responded, “I told her to try an’ contact the Princesses, but she said they were too busy taking care of the situation in the Capital.”

“And the others?”

“I’m not going to burden everyone else with a kid.” James shook his head, “Besides, I can’t exactly go to Cloud City, go to the Wonderbolt’s office with Ginger and say ‘Hi. This is my daughter with Fiona, and I’m leaving her here for the day’, Can I?”

“Point taken.” Lyra finished her cigarette and stubbed it out, “So you’re keeping them at your place?”

“We got plenty of room.”

“Dad?” someone tugged at James’s sleeve. Lyra and James looked down to see the blonde boy.

“What is it Carson?”

“I gotta go to the bathroom.” Carson grimaced.

“Down the hall, first door on the right.” Lyra pointed.

“Thank you Miss Mandolini.”

Carson turned around and quickly sprinted down the hallway.

“…You said he’s Dorthy’s kid, right?” Lyra picked at her cigarette butts, “Did he…”

“We were able to get him corrective surgery,” James placed his cup down, “At least that’s what he said.”

“…Let’s get this over with,” Lyra flicked the butts into her sink, “I’ll trust you on this, James. I don’t like it, but I’ll put up with it.”

“That’s honestly all I can ask for,” James stood up, “Let me introduce you to them all.”

Lyra got up and the two walked into the living room; Theo and Scarlet were yelling at each other and struggling to break out of Max, Sparks and Ginger’s grip. The others sat away from them, watching TV.

“AHEM.” James cleared his throat, catching everyone’s attention. Max released Theo, as Sparks and Ginger let go of Scarlet, dropping both of them on the ground.
“What did I say?”

“Sorry Dad,” Theo and Scarlet mumbled.

“Alright kids, I want you to line up and introduce yourselves to Lyra,” James instructed them.

The kids scrambled around, pushing and shoving each other to line up. After several more arguments, they finally managed to line up. Carson rushed back into the room, and stood at the end of the line.

“Sparks, you start.”

“I’m Charlene, but everyone calls me Sparks.” Sparks introduced herself.

“Why do they call you that?” Lyra inquired.

Sparks placed one hand out and focused, eventually causing several brightly colored sparks to fly out of her palm.

“I can do a little magic.” the girl smiled.

“Cute.” Lyra smiled back.

“I’m Madeline Taffila Smith!” Maddy beamed, “But everyone calls me Maddy.”

“I’m Scarlet.” Scarlet glanced at Theo.

“I am Tabitha, but mommy and daddy call me Tabby.”

“I…I’m Melody.” The sweater girl stammered.

“I’m Anastasia Chrysanthemum.” A.C. Beamed, “but most people think it’s too long and hard to say so they call me A.C.!”

“I’m Jeannette.” The orange-haired girl smiled.

“I’m Carson.” Carson sheepishly smiled.

“Ginger.” The redhead shrugged.

Theo puffed out his chest, “I am Theodore Phillip Aureolus Bombastu-”

“His name is Theodore,” Ginger and Sparks rolled their eyes, “He made up the rest of it.”

“…spoil sports.” Theo pouted.

“I’m Jamie!” the mulberry-haired girl beamed.

“I am Maximilian.” The pale boy bowed, “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“I’m Eris.” Another voice responded, surprising everyone.

Everyone looked at the sofa, where a new girl lounged. She pulled herself up, and stared back. Her grey hair reached the middle of her back, and her T-shirt and pants where brightly colored, mismatched and messy. She flashed a smile revealing that her left canine tooth was abnormally long.

“…James, I thought you said there were twelve kids.” Lyra frowned.

“There were.” He responded.

“Daddy…” Eris pouted, “How could you forget about me? I mean, daddy Discord didn’t.”

“…The fuck.” Lyra’s jaw dropped as all the kids gasped.

“Daddy, she said a bad word.” A.C. tugged at James’ pants.

“I know.” He sighed.

“…James, I’m going back in the kitchen, where I am going to smoke my entire pack of cigarettes, at once.
And probably break something.”

Lyra walked back into the kitchen. After several moments, the sound of shattering dishes and screams shocked everyone else back into action.

“DADDY!” everyone, except for Melody and Max dived for cover and hid behind James or the sofa.

“…This is going to be a long day…” James sighed.

Strangers in a Strange Land (Part 1)

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A flash of light exploded out of a back alley. Three ponies stumbled out of the alley, coughing. The first was a young purple unicorn colt with a gamboge mane with a single pink stripe, and a strange device strapped to his foreleg. Following him was a mint green Unicorn stallion with a white and green streaked mane, and a cutie mark in the shape of a harp. The last pony was a tall red Earth mare with a Gamboge mane, and a cutie mark in the shape of a green Apple.

“I told you not to do that, Pomace.” The mare scolded the colt.

“Sorry mom.” The colt looked down at the box, “I don’t think it’s working right yet.”

“…Paula, where are we?” the unicorn looked around, “It looks like Ponyville but…”

“Well I assume it’s Pomace’s Ponyville, Manny,” Paula looked at Pomace, “Is it?”

“Um… I don’t think so,” Pomace shook his head, “That pony over there looks like Mr. Merrimac, but she’s a mare.”

“…Wait, wait?” the unicorn stallion looked at Pomace, “Where?”

“There,” Pomace pointed a hoof as Cheerilee walked by.

“Pomace, I told you it ain’t polite to point.” Paula scolded the colt, before looking up at Cheerilee, “…My word, she does look like him.”

“…That one looks like Sucre,” the unicorn noted, “Didn’t Wild Seed mention he was from an alternate universe where Zicoro was… Zecora or something like that?”

“Mmhmm,” the mare agreed, “he said something about a… Cheerilee and a Bonbon being their counterparts.”

“So this means…we’re stuck in some cockamamie alternate universe?” the unicorn slapped his forehead, “Oh Solarus…”

“I’m sorry Mr. Mandolin,” Pomace apologized.

“It ain’t your fault kid,” Mandolin sighed, “I hope the others made it back alright, though.”

“Well, Cyclone’s and Cumulus’ devices were acting odd, but they seemed to be working normal again,” Paula replied, “In the mean time, we better figure something out.”

“Eeyup.” Pomace agreed.

The three started down the street, passing Carrot Top. The carrot farmer paused and frowned before looking behind her at the trio.

“Is… no, that’s not Macintosh.” Carrot Top shook her head, “Doesn’t look like Lyra or Cider either…”


Paula sighed as the waiter left.

“Alright, so let’s see if we got this right…We can’t go the library, because if their… what did Wild call her? Twilight Shimmer?”

“Twilight Sparkle,” Apple Pomace corrected.

“Right, we can’t go to the library because if Twilight Sparkle is anything like Dusk Shine, she’ll go crazy and do something for science,” Paula sighed.

“We can’t go to whatever Elusive’s counterpart’s shop is called, since that means she’ll be with whoever Bolt Alley’s counterpart is, along with Earligold and Vista’s counterparts.” Mandolin took a sip of his coffee.

“Sugarcube Corner’s out.” Paula shook her head, “I’m not touching that mess, especially if their Berry is anything like ours.”

“…Butterscotch’s cabin?” Pomace suggested.

“No,” both adults shook their heads.
“If Butterscotch is bad, I’d hate to see his counterpart,” Paula added.

“…Carson’s place?” Mandolin suggested.

“…Might work,” Paula shrugged, “There would be… Carson, and Gold Spike. Maybe Dopey, Demi and Jeannette if we’re unlucky.”

“There’s always Sucre’s.” Mandolin offered.

“No, there’s a chance they could be there and then things would get awkward fast,” Paula argued.
“Blitz, Rain Dancer, and Spitfire’s aren’t options. Neither is Presto, Eris, Helios, or Baroque.”

“What about Zicoro’s counterpart?” Mandolin took another sip from his cup.

“That’s not an option either,” Paula shook her head, “I like Zicoro, but the stallion enjoys his privacy.”

“…So that leaves… the farm.” Pomace concluded.

The three fell silent as the waiter returned with their food.

“…This isn’t going to end well, is it, mom?” Pomace sighed.

“…Eenope.” Paula sighed, “Well, we’ll figure something out.”


The door creaked open as Carrot Top, Cheerilee and Bon Bon filed in. Rarity trotted in, smiling.

“What can I do for you all today?”

“Rarity, is Cider or any of the kids here?” Cheerilee inquired.

“Not that I’m aware of,” Rarity gave the three a puzzled look, “Why?”

“We… well, I saw this pony walking through town and I could have sworn it was Big Mac and Cider,” Carrot Top responded.

“I saw them too,” Bon Bon added, “But Mac is still at the farm with Lyra.”

“Speaking of Lyra, there was a stallion with them who looked an awful lot like Lyra,” Cheerilee cut in, “Does she have family over?”

Bon Bon responded to Cheerilee’s question with a baffled expression, “…No.”

“Wait, so let me see if I understand this,” Rarity paused, “There’s a pony who looks like Macintosh with a foal who looks like Sparkling Cider, and a stallion who looks like Lyra.”
Rarity paused as the three mares nodded.

“So that could me…” Rarity straightened out, realization striking her, “Where did they go?”

“I saw them go to the caf…” Rarity rushed past the mares.
“..fe.” Cheerilee finished.

The three sat there in silence staring at the door.

“…What did we do?”


“Well now, that was mighty fine,” Paula stated, “Mighty fine indeed.”

“It’s the same place we went to on our first date,” Mandolin noted.

“It’s not exactly the same,” Paula chided, “Now then, I think this is enough.”

Paula reached into her satchel and pulled out a hoofful of coins. The waiter frowned and examined one.

“Ma’m, we cannot accept these.” The waiter placed it back on the counter and pushed the pile back at the mare.

“Why not?”

“These are clearly counterfeit.” The waiter replied, “‘In Solarus we trust’?”

“…Oh crap,” Paula muttered as Mandolin slammed his hoof into his forehead.

“How are we going to get out of thi-”

“Oh there you are!” a voice called out catching the attention of the waiter, Paula and Mandolin.
Rarity trotted over to the group, beaming at them.

“I told you I would meet you at the train station, don’t you remember?” Rarity scolded Paula, “I told you we’d go and exchange your money for Equestrian bits, remember?”

“I…” Paula trailed off as Rarity shook her head.

“Play along,” the unicorn mare silently mouthed to Paula. After a few seconds she quickly followed up, “Rarity.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Rarity!” Paula broke out into a sheepish smile, as Pomace and Mandolin gave the mare a confused look, “I completely forgot. I mean, it was a mighty long train ride, and why, Pomace an’ Manny were famished.”

“Oh, that’s quite alright.” Rarity pulled a few coins out of her satchel and levitated them over to the waiter, “I believe this is enough. We’ll be on our way then.”

Paula, Mandolin and Pomace quickly got out of their seats and followed Rarity out of the restaurant.
The waiter frowned as he trotted back towards the register.

“We’ve been getting a lot of weirdos lately.”

“Don’t say anything. We’ll talk back at the boutique,” Rarity instructed the three.

“Thank you kindly for the save back there,” Paula thanked her.

“Not a problem, miss…”

“It’s Paula Red.”

“Not a problem Miss Paula,” Rarity replied, “I… assume that he’s your… coltfriend?”

“Mandolin Heartstrings.”

“And…” Rarity did a double take at Pomace, “…I’ll venture a guess here and say that’s your son with… a Purple unicorn who is the personal student of the ruler and the Element of Magic?”

Paula and Mandolin stared at Rarity in shock.

“How did you…”

“You’re not the only one this happened to,” Rarity replied, “Here we are, we can talk more inside.”

Rarity pushed open the door, letting Pomace, Paula and Mandolin in. The fashionista quickly spun around, turning the sign on her door from ‘open’ to ‘closed’, and closing all the curtains.

“…Alright then,” Rarity sighed, “Don’t talk. Let me see if I have this right: One day after you two went on a date, Paula, you came home to find five colts at the farm, all claiming that you were their mother, and that their fathers were the other five Elements of Harmony, right?”

Rarity paused as Paula nodded.

“Then the next day, four more showed up; one claiming to be the son of the local school teacher, one from a carrot farmer, one from a magician, and one from the captain of the Wonderbolts, right?”

“Yes…” Paula trailed off.

“Then three more showed up; one who was the daughter of the mail mare, one who’s father was…the younger brother of one of the elements, and one claiming to be th-”

“Now hold on a moment,” Mandolin interrupted, “How the hell do you know all this?”

“Do you honestly think it couldn’t happen elsewhere?” Rarity rolled her eyes, “I paid attention to what Midnight Bliss said when I had to baby sit them, she mentioned her mother was named Paula Red and that the bearer of Magic was named Harpsy Mandolin. Not an exact match, but close enough.”

“And the kids?”

“Would the names Sparkling Cider, Scarlet Tornado, Apple Pie, Garden Royale or Golden Gem mean anything to you? How about Acey Mac, Center Stage, Apple Cinnamon, Carson, Golden Sweet, Apple Jam or Novamac?”

“Well, Apple Pie’s the only one that sticks out. Said his father was Bubble Berry,” Paula replied.

“…So he’s probably Pinkie’s counterpart,” Rarity mused, “I suppose that’s better than nothing. Does the name Midnight Bliss mean anything?”

“Can’t say that it does… Oh, wait, didn’t Helios say that was… Prince Erebus and Lady Pish Posh’s daughter?” Paula turned to Pomace.

“I dunno,” the colt shrugged.

“…Wait here, I need to go get someone.” Rarity instructed them, “You may help yourselves to anything in the kitchen and the bathroom is down the hall.”

Rarity exited the shop, leaving the three behind.

“….Alright, this is getting ridiculous,” Mandolin shook his head, “What did she mean by that?”

“…I’m gonna take a guess and say something similar happened here,” Paula sighed, “Anyway, I need to find the bathroom.”

Paula left the room as Pomace frowned.

“I think


Mandolin trailed off as a bright flash of light blinded the three ponies. Once it faded, Mandolin found himself face to face with Golden Gem and Stratos.

“…Um… I think we ended up in the wrong house.” Stratos sheepishly grinned.

Sweet Apple Acres

Rarity trotted through the orchid, scanning the area for Big Macintosh.

“Where could he b-”

“Hi Rarity!”

Rarity looked up; Rumble and Applebloom waved back at her from atop an apple branch.

“Hello Applebloom, Rumble.”

“Um…” Rumble stuttered, “We’re not doing anything up here, we’re just…”

“Rumble, I’m not telling Thunderlane anything unless it is something you absolutely shouldn’t be doing,” Rarity cut him off, “Now where is Big Macintosh?”

“He’s at the farmhouse with Lyra an’ Granny. I think they’re busy jarin’ apples for winter.

“That’s wonderful. You two take care now.”

The two foals watched as Rarity continued down the path to the farm house.

“You need to work on making up excuses, Rumble.”

“…” the colt sighed and hung his head, “ I know.”


“So let me see if I got this right…” Paula trailed off, “You’re Golden Gem and You’re Stratos. Your father is Big Macintosh, and your mother is Rarity, and Your mother is Stormwalker.”

“Cloud chaser,” Stratos corrected.

“Right, right. And you’re both from alternate dimensions.” Paula groaned, “This means that it happened here too.”

“…Sweet Merciful Erebus.” Mandolin smashed his face into the table.

“….Are they ok?” Golden Gem turned to Pomace.

“Not really,” the colt scratched behind his head, “This happened before. I’m Apple Pomace.”

“You kinda look like Sparkling Cider, who’s your mom?” Stratos inquired.

“No, his mom would be dad’s counterpart, so we have to ask who is dad is,” Golden Gem pointed out.

“My Dad’s Dusk Shine.” Pomace informed them, “He’s a Purple unicorn with a mane kinda like mine, only Purple and pink.”

“That sounds like Miss Twilight,” Stratos responded as Golden Gem nodded in agreement.

“Wild Seed said he was from someplace where all the ponies had their genders swapped, so Mom was a stallion and Dad was a mare.” Pomace shrugged, “He talked weird all the time though, so it was hard to understand him most of the time.”

“Wild Seed?” Stratos exchanged confused looks with Gem, “Who’s that?”

“He said his mom was…Zecora?” Pomace shrugged, “You don’t know him?”

“Nope, we didn’t see anypony who claimed their mom was Zecora.”

Sweet Apple Acres

“…Mac, when you said we were going to do something fun, this isn’t what I had in mind,” Lyra groaned as she levitated a pot of boiling sugar syrup over jars of tightly packed together apple slices.

“Stop your whinin’ missie,” Granny Smith scolded the unicorn while she tended a pot of boiling jars, “You wanted to fall in love with an Apple, you shoulda known it ain’t all fun an’ games. Now be a dear and finish off the last of them.”

“I know, Granny.” Lyra set to work, pouring the syrup into each jar, wiping away the excess sugar and placing the cap atop each jar. Just as she finished the last one, Big Macintosh trotted into the room.

“We still got space down there Granny. After we finish up, I think we oughta jar some of the corn or soma Carrot Top’s carrots.”

“That can wait, Sonny.”

“There you all are!”

The three ponies turned towards the door, as Rarity entered.

“I’m terribly sorry, but there’s a bit of an emergency that needs Big Macintosh and Lyra.” Rarity apologized to the group.

“Gimme a bit so we can clean up,” Big Mac responded.

“No, no I got this. You two run off an’ take care of whatever you gotta take care of. I can clean this up on my own,” the elderly mare chuckled.


“...So then Limelight was able to trick Presto into giving up the Alicorn amulet and she saved Ponyville. And she’s never going to let us hear the end of it.” Pomace concluded.

“Definitely sounds like Center Stage,” Gem nodded.

“What about Princess Luna?”


“Princess Luna! She’s the one who raises the moon, travels into peoples dreams and went crazy and tried to make it eternal night.” Stratos waved his hooves around to emphasize his point.

“…Prince Erebus? We didn’t get anypony claim he was their dad or mom.” Pomace shook his head.

“…Well we didn’t get anypony claiming their mother was Zecora,” Stratos glanced at Golden Gem, “Did we?”

“Nope,” Gem shook her head.

Mandolin staggered over to Rarity’s fainting couch and laid down.

“Pomace, I’m taking a nap. Don’t disturb me.”

“Alright Mr. Mandolin.”

The door slammed open as Rarity entered. Mandolin groaned in anguish.

“I can’t get any sleep can I?”

“Hi mommy!” Golden Gem beamed.

“Oh Hello Gem, Hello Stratos. I see you already met Pomace.” Rarity smiled back.

“So what’s the emergency?” Lyra trotted in, stopping by the couch.

Mandolin sat up, coming face to face with Lyra.

“Can you keep it down? I’m trying to…” the stallion trailed off as he stared at Lyra. “…woah.”

Big Macintosh entered the shop, frowning as he noticed Pomace.

“…Don’t tell me it’s happening again,”

“No… not quite.” Rarity sighed.

Paula trotted out of the hallway, shaking her head.

“Manny, just what is all that ra…” Paula trailed off as she noticed Big Macintosh.
“……..Well ain’t that a kick in the head.”

“…Rarity, what’s goin’ on here?” the stallion turned his attention to the unicorn mare.

“I’ll tell you what.” Paula caught Big Macintosh’s attention. The farm mare trotted over to Big Macintosh and stuck out a hoof.

“Paula Red, owner of Sweet Apple Acres.”

“…Big Macintosh, owner of Sweet Apple Acres”

The stallion took her hoof and they shook.

“Not everyday you get to meet yourself,” Paula grinned.


Strangers In a Strange Land (Part 2)

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Paula and Macintosh sat across one another at the table. Rarity placed two mugs of coffee on the table and headed towards the door.

“I have errands to run, make yourselves at home until…well, until you both figure something out.”

Rarity left, leaving the two earth ponies staring at one another.

“…So it happened to you too?” Big Macintosh chuckled.

“Mmmhmm, Let me tell you that Grandaddy’s happy, ‘Buck’s about fifty-fifty about it; He likes some of them, but He can’t get over who Vista’s dad is.”


“Vista Bell. His daddy’s Charmin’ Chime.” Paula frowned at the lack of recognition from the stallion, “He’s Elusi..Rarity’s little brother. Well, I guess it’ll be her little sister here,” the mare corrected herself.

“Sweetie Belle?” Big Macintosh frowned.

“Unicorn, white coat, two toned mane? Runs around with your kid sibling as part of the ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’?”

“Ah,” Big Macintosh responded, “Yeah, Applebloom reacted the same way ta Apple Jam.”

“I would imagine,” Paula scoffed, “It ain’t right a grown stallion with a filly like that.”

“Because a grown mare with a colt is better,” Big Macintosh snidely remarked.

“…Touché.” Paula conceded, “And then there was Applejack.”

“She accused you of sleepin’ with all her friends?”

“His friends,” Paula corrected, “But yes, he did. He accused me of sleeping with all of them, and I slapped that boy across his head. You’d think he’d notice if I was pregnant. Especially five times.”

“True. I told th’ same thing ta Applejack, when she accused me.” Big Macintosh paused, “ ‘Course she hit me, instead.”

Paula laughed, “Sounds about right.”

“...So... Apple Pomace is… you said Dusk Shimmer’s kid, right?”

“Dusk Shine,” Paula corrected, “Purple unicorn and the leader of th’ Elements of Harmony?”

“That’d be Twilight Sparkle, then.”

“Rainbow Blitz?”

“Rainbow Dash.”

“Berry Bubble?” Paula continued on.

“Pinkie Pie.”

“That’s a stupid name,” Paula commented before continuing, “Butterscotch?”

“…If I had ta guess, I’d say Fluttershy. Yellow Pegasus?”

“Mmhmm.” Paula nodded, “That’s Apple Pomace, Red Cyclone, Earligold, Apple Pie and Little Macintosh.”

“…Little Macintosh?” the stallion sighed, “Well, there’s only so many apple names ya can use before you start ta repeat yourself.”

“Rarity mentioned some others,” Paula continued, “Who’re they?”

“Well... Carrot Top’s obvious. Her kid’s Golden Sweet.”

“Ours is named Carrot Top too, but he hates that name and has everyone call him Carson. Our kid’s Golden Spike.”

“Speakin’ of a Carson, that’ll lead me to Ditzy Doo. Gray pegasus with that walled eyed look?”

“Dopey. His son’s Demi Doo, and our daughter is Jeanette.”

“Cheerilee the teacher an’ Acey Mac?”

“Merrimac and Red Rome.” Paula replied, “Before you ask, it happened long after that Hearts and Hooves day incident.”

“I would hope,” Macintosh nodded, “Spitfire and Apple Cinnamon?”

“Spitfire and Apple Spice.”

“Trixie and Center Stage?”

“Presto and Limelight. Did she help chase her daddy off?”

“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh nodded, “Did a heck of a good job too.”

“That’s good to know.”

“…Discord and Bellona?”

“Eris and Loki.”

“Cloudchaser and Stratos?”

“Rain Dancer and Cumulus,” Paula responded, “She said her little brother’s named Stratos.”

“Stratos said his little sister is named Cumulus.”

“...Not exactly the most imaginative names.” Paula smirked.

“I suppose, he said his mother came up with it.” Big Macintosh paused before continuing, “Princess Celestia and Idun?”

“Prince Solaris and Helios.”

“Princess Cadance and Fantasia?”

“Prince Baroque and Greensleeves.”

“You named him after a song?” the stallion stared at her.

“You named your daughters Apple Pie and Apple Jam, you don’t get to complain.” Paula shot back.

Ponyville Park

Lyra and Mandolin sat on a bench, watching as Apple Pomace, Golden Gem and Stratos played with a ball. As they watched the colts and filly, the two unicorns continued to glance at each other in silence. After several more minutes of this, both of them sighed.

“This is too damn weird,” Mandolin sighed.

“You’re telling me,” Lyra agreed, “I can handle the kids, but this…this is something else.”

“I can handle Imperator Tartarus threatening to plunge Equestria into eternal night. I handled Dusk Shine brainwashing everyone into going after his Action Alpaca doll thing. I can handle a goddamn Chaos goddess wreaking havoc, and getting Brainwashed and replaced by Changelings, but this… this just plain creeps me out.”

“…Wait, Chaos goddess?” Lyra frowned.

“Yeah, Eris.”

“And Paula had a kid with her?”

“Yeah, a son, Loki.”

Lyra blinked, “how does that even work?”

“Chaos Goddess,” Mandolin shrugged, “Shapeshifting.”


“I really don’t try to think about it,” Mandolin cut her off, “besides, that means your Big Macintosh had a kid with a guy.”

“...I really try not to think about that either,” Lyra commented.


“…Alright, so I think I see the differences now. So I got stuck with Novamac an’ Midnight Bliss, while you got Wild Seed and Savannah Smiles. I got Queen Umbra, while you got King Cocoon. And finally, I got … Oaken Shield and you got… Doctor Whooves?” Big Macintosh blinked, “this is getting really, really stupid.”

“I agree,” Paula nodded.

“So now what? You’re all stuck here until the jumper resets itself?”

“I believe so.”

“Well, that won’t be a problem, We got plenty of room on th’ farm,” Big Macintosh paused, “Though I reckon Applebloom, and Applejack might get a bit freaked out.”

“Grampy ain’t gonna mind?”

“Granny loved havin’ twenty grandkids runnin’ around, I don’t she’s gonna say no to one more,” Big Macintosh paused, “You an’ Mandolin might be a bit harder to explain.”

“Just say we’re relatives. Unless you’re tell… wait, did you just have the reunion?” Paula inquired.


“Good, just tell here we are stoppin’ by ta say hello, since we can’t make it.”

“…Probably will work.” Big Macintosh nodded in agreement.

“Well that’s settled, let’s get goin’.” Paula got to her hooves.


The two headed out the door.


“So let me get this straight… your Bonbon has a marefriend?”

“Yeah,” Mandolin shrugged, “Firefly.”

“…isn’t that Rainbow Dash’s mom?” Lyra asked, puzzled.

“What? No, I don’t know who her parents are. Firefly’s got a blue mane.”

“So does Dash’s mom,” Lyra responded, “Her cutie Mark’s not a lightning bolt, is it?”

“It’s three raindrops.” Mandolin responded.

“…Alright, that must be someone else.”

The two grew silent again as Stratos flew up into a tree to get the ball.

“I want to know,” Lyra paused, “You couldn’t have taken the news well. I mean….”

“I didn’t,” Mandolin responded, “It…well, we’ve been around. I would have noticed if Paula was pregnant. Ponyville’s not exactly a big town, so if Paula; the most eligible and sought after mare in town was pregnant with anypony’s kid, we would have heard something.”

“…True.” Lyra conceded.

“It’s you who probably had the harder time believing him,” Mandolin added.

“No… When he mentioned Carrot Top, Cheerilee, and Ditzy something clicked,” Lyra shook her head, “We see them all the time, so if they had a kid, I would notice.”

“…So did you give him a black eye?”

“No Applejack did,” Lyra chuckled, “Although that was because she found out we were dating.”

Mandolin chuckled, “Didn’t happen with us. Sure, Applejack blew up, but Paula decked him good.”

“…” Lyra frowned, “Mac can shatter boulders with his hooves, did she…”

“She held back. Only knocked two of his teeth out and broke his nose.” Mandolin chuckled, “Let me tell you, when she gets mad, she gets mad.”

“Then don’t do anything stupid.”

“I try not to.” Mandolin shivered, “I did once, she ended up blowing a hole in Tonic’s wall. That was really expensive to fix.”
Mandolin paused, “Although to be fair, I didn’t know she can’t hold her alcohol at the time.”


“Gin N. Tonic. The barowner?” Mandolin waved his hoof, “Purple-pink, cutie marks’ a bunch of grapes?”

“Oh, Berry.” Lyra nodded in understanding, “…We went to the bar once. According to Mac I ended up doing drunken karaoke, and threatened to send Cheerilee to the moon.”

The two grew silent again as Big Macintosh and Paula trotted over.

“Kids behaved themselves?” Paula grinned.

“For the most part,” Lyra shrugged, “Oh, they got chased by bees, but Pomace used his magic to protect them.
They might have to apologize to Diamond Tiara though.”

“…Well anyway, Paula and I discussed it, and you’re all welcome to stay at the farm until th’ transporter reboots itself,” Big Macintosh informed them.

“That’s good.” Mandolin nodded, “Solves our problem.”

“Just how did you end up here anyway?”

“…If I had to guess, I think when Mandolin grabbed Pomace with his magic and Pomace pressed the button on it, it interfered with the device and sent us here.” Paula responded, “at least it makes about as much sense as anything else.”

“Alright then, we oughta head home.”

Sweet Apple Acres

“Jus’ where is Big Macintosh?” Applejack frowned, “He spent th’ last how many hours off doin’ something while he leaves me workin’ hard on th’ farm! Outta all the selfish things ta do…”

“Quit yer hollerin’ misses,” Granny Smith scolded her, “It ain’t any different than when you and your friends run off doin’ who knows what in who knows what for who knows why.”

“That... that’s different Granny.” Applejack stuttered.

“No it ain’t, an’ you know it.” Granny Smith responded, “Now you go set th’ table. Applebloom! You tell your coltfriend ta lend a hoof.”

Applejack, Applebloom and Rumble got up and went to set the table, as Granny Smith rocked back and forth.

“Granny, we’re back,” Big Macintosh trotted in to the house, followed by Lyra, Golden Gem and Stratos, “Brought a couple of guest if that’s alright.”

“Ain’t no problem sonny,” Granny Smith smiled, “I always look forward to seein’ my great-grandfillies. And Lyra.”

“We also got a couple other guest,” Big Macintosh added, “C’mon in.”

Paula, Pomace and Mandolin entered, stopping by Granny Smith.

“Granny, this is Paula Red, Her coltfriend Mandolin an’ their son Apple Pomace, You remember them right?”

“…Paula Red…who’s you Parents?” Granny stared at the earth mare.

“Red Gala an’ Rootstock.” Paula nervously answered.

“Oh I haven’t heard from them in years,” Granny’s expression softened, “How’re they doing?”

“Oh, just fine,” Paula responded, “we were just passing through, and we decided to come and visit for a while.”

“That’s wonderful.” Granny nodded, “We were just about to sit down to dinner, why don’t you join us?”

“If you say so, Granny.” Paula smiled.

“Good.” The elderly mare smiled.
“APPLEJACK! Set six more plates out, we got guests!”

“Who in tarnation…” Applejack trotted out of the kitchen to see Paula, “Who the hay are you?”

“Applejack! That ain’t anyway to greet anypony,” Granny Smith scolded her, “This is your cousin, Paula Red an’ her husband and kid.”

“…Paula Red?” Applejack frowned, “I don’t remember no Paula Red.”

“You haven’t seen’m for years. Mac, why don’t you an’ Lyra take the kids to get washed up? They’re a bit dirty.”

“Eeyup. C’mon you three.”

The five ponies left the room as Applejack turned back to the kitchen.

“Now then…” Granny Smith chuckled, “Why don’t you tell this ol’ mare the truth?”

“I... I don’t know what you’re talking about Granny.”

“Now, now, I ain’t as senile as most folks think I am,” she chuckled, “I remember family well, and I know I don’t have any nieces or nephews named Rootstock or Red Gala. I do know that you’re an Apple though.”

Mandolin and Paula exchanged a nervous glance.

“You ain’t got nothing to do with my great-grand children, do you? You look an awful lot like Big Macintosh an’ Lyra, and Pomace looks an awful lot like Sparkling Cider.” The mare paused, “Am I getting’ close?”

“Well…” Paula sighed, “I’m Big Macintosh’s counterpart.”

“Oh, so it’s like Novamac an’ Bliss then. Well that ain’t too bad,” Granny chuckled, “Well, it doesn’t matter how, you’re still family. You’re welcome to stay until you all can get everything sorted out.”

“Thank you kindly,” Paula gratefully responded.

“Now then, let’s go an’ eat.” Granny chuckled.

The ponies entered the dining room as Big Macintosh and Lyra got the colts and fillies seated. Applebloom frowned.

“Hey Big Mac? Who’s that?” The filly pointed at Apple Pomace.

“I’m Apple Pomace,” the colt replied.

“Another one?” Applebloom sighed, “…Well that ain’t the weirdest thing to happen today.”

“Alright, Applebloom, This is Cousin Paula Red an’ her husband…”

“Mandolin, Mrs. Apple,” the unicorn helped her.

“Right, Right, Mandolin and their son, Apple Pomace.” Granny finished.

“I don’t remember any cousins named Paula Red.” Applebloom frowned.

“I don’t have a lot of free time, Applebloom,” Paula responded, “I’m mighty busy out at our orchard.”


“Applebloom, that’s enough,” Granny Smith stated, “It don’t matter, she’s still family, now sit.”

“…You look a lot like Big Macintosh, Cousin Paula,” Applebloom noted.

“Well, Bloom… you know what they say, everypony’s got a double in the world,” Paula chuckled, “Now let’s eat.”

The Next Day


Paula and Mandolin sprung off the couch, landing on their feet. Pomace, Gem and Stratos quickly untangled themselves from the mess of blankets and got to their feet.

“Mom? What was that?” Pomace asked.

“I don’t know Pomace…”

The sound of multiple bodies colliding caught everypony’s attention, followed by the sound of ponies falling down the stairs. Big Macintosh, Applebloom, Applejack and Lyra landed at the bottom of the stairs in a tangled heap.

“Aunty Paula? What was that?” Applebloom managed to untangle herself from the pile, “What was that?”

“I’m not sure, Bloom.” Paula shook her head, “Mac, if you would be so kind to help us…”


Big Macintosh dug himself out of the pile, and went over to the door. Pausing, he motioned for Lyra, Mandolin and Paula to follow him. Big Macintosh dramatically flung open the door, as he and the other three ponies charged out.
The farm pony skidded to a stop as he took in the scene outside.

“…Well, that’s something ya don’t see every day.” He mused.

Laying on its side and partially buried in the front yard was a bizarre metal blue box. As the ponies watched a door was kicked open.

“Oh for the love of Megan! I swear to the Smooze below that I fixed the bloody brake!” a loud, course voice bellowed.

A brown coated earth stallion with a grey speckled mane and an hourglass cutie mark pulled himself out of machine, grumbling and swearing at himself under his breath. He looked up at the group.

“…Well, I’m sorry about the mess,” he apologized to Big Macintosh, “Usually my landings are much better.”


Before Big Macintosh could respond, a red earth colt with a gray mane popped out of the machine. The colt stopped to adjust his fez before beaming.

“Hi Mom!”

“Ambrosia? Is that you?” Paula stared at the colt in astonishment

“Eeyup!” Ambrosia beamed, “Red Cyclone an’ Cumulus showed up in my universe, an’ they said their things were actin’ weird, so I told Dad and we went off to find you!”

“…What is that?” Lyra pointed at the machine.

“It’s my Time Machine.” The Earth stallion patted it, “Named it after an old friend of mine. Well, come along Paula, we need to be off.”

“Give me a moment,” Paula turned to Big Macintosh, “Thank you kindly for your hospitality under… these conditions.”

“It ain’t a big deal,” Big Macintosh chuckled, “But next time, send a little warning, alright?”

“Will do.” Paula grinned back.

“We don’t have all day. Come along Apples,’ the stallion ducked back into the machine as Ambrosia, and Mandolin entered the machine.

“You guys should come visit sometime,” Pomace told Stratos and Gem, “I bet Earligold and Cumulus would like you.”

“Maybe,” Gem replied. Stratos simply shrugged.

Pomace hopped into the machine and was followed by Paula. A piercing siren suddenly screamed out, causing Lyra and Big Macintosh to back away. The machine suddenly blinked out of view, cutting off the siren, leaving the two ponies staring at a smoking crater in the ground.

“…Well that was weird.” Lyra stated to no one in particular.


Everyone I know

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Big Macintosh and Lyra walked through town, heading for the clock store.

“I don’t remember placin’ any order for a grandfather clock,” the stallion frowned, “You sure it wasn’t you?”

“Mac, why do I need a grandfather clock?” Lyra responded, “We have a bunch of those cheap ones.”

“…This better not be a prank by the kids,” he grumbled.

The two reached the shop and Big Macintosh pushed open the door.

“Ladies first.”

Lyra trotted into the store as Big Macintosh followed him. The two scanned the store: no other ponies were there amidst the various clocks.

“Hello? Anypony here?” Big Macintosh called out.

“A moment!” a stallion’s voice called out from the back. The two ponies exchanged confused glances as a door slammed shut. A brown Earth stallion with a bowtie and hourglass cutie mark suddenly appeared in front of the two.

“Oh hello there!” the stallion grinned, “I was expecting you.”

“Time Turner, right?” after the brown pony nodded in confirmation, Big Macintosh continued. “I think there’s been a mistake. Neither of us ordered any clocks.”

“Really? Hm,” Time Turner scratched his chin, “Why don’t we go into the back and figure this out?”

The brown stallion turned around and trotted off back to where he came from. The other two ponies exchanged quick glances before following him.

“This way please,” Time Turner motioned for the two of them to have seat. As the two ponies eased into the chairs, the shop owner mixed a cup of tea for himself.

“Do you take coffee or tea? Or perhaps water?”

“I’m fine.” The farmer stated, Lyra shook her head in agreement.

“Suit yourselves.” the stallion shrugged. Finishing his cup, Time Turner picked it up and trotted over to his desk. After taking his seat, the stallion took a sip of tea, placed the cup down and sighed.
“You’re giving us all quite a headache, Mr. Macintosh,” Time Turner sighed, “We haven’t been this busy in years.”

“…Beg your pardon?”

“Hmm? Oh, right, right.” Time Turner opened a drawer and pulled something out. The stallion placed a badge on the table; a golden watch, with the Letters “A.R.M.O.R.” on it.

“Alternate Reality Monitoring and Operational Response force” the stallion smiled.

“Never heard of it,” Lyra shot back.

“I should hope so,” he chuckled, “We’re quite secretive about it. We make the Shadowbolts look like the Imperial Guard, and we make the Guard look like the Post Office.
Essentially, it is our duty to monitor interdimensional abnormalities, and take care of them. I personally prefer using nonlethal methods, but sometimes…” the stallion shrugged.
“But anyway, I’m here about your…ah, children.”

“What about them?”

“Let me-”

“Wait,” Lyra cut in, “Why the hell should we trust you? Last time I saw you, you were arguing with Red Laver over the price of seaweed. You called us here, claiming to be part of some top secret agency that none of us ever heard of and-”

“Stratos Apple. Dimension 29, where Big Macintosh married Cloud Chaser. He has a younger sister named Cumulus Apple who’s about…three months or so. His best friend is Cream Pie, son of Pinkie Pie and Donut Joe, Golden Breeze, Son of Rarity and Soarin, Temporal Spectrum, daughter of Time Turner and Rainbow Dash. In that particular universe, The Cutie Mark Crusaders selected Cloud Chaser, rather than Cheerilee as your ‘Special Some pony’. Also, that universe’s Lyra Heartstrings ends up with Fluttershy.” Time Turner smirked before continuing

“Prince Novamac. Dimension 344, an alternate universe where both Princess Luna and Celestia succumbed to the darkness within them, resulting in civil war. Princess Cadance was able to lead the Elements of Harmony against them, sealing them away. Fast forward one thousand years and Lyra Heartstrings lead the new Elements. Princess Luna was ordered to work in Ponyville as part of her rehabilitation, where she fell in love with Big Macintosh.”

Time Turner took a sip of his tea, as Lyra and Big Macintosh exchanged quick glances.

“Shall I go on?”

“I think we get the point, Mr. Turner.” Big Macintosh grumbled, “But I got one more. Oscura.”

“….Her mother is Queen Umbra. Dimension 616, good is bad and bad is good. Umbra and Discord joined forces to defeat Phobetor and Hyperion with the newly forged Elements of Harmony after the originals were destroyed in battle,” Time Turner stated. The stallion paused, “That universe’s Big Macintosh is the…..twelfth husband of Queen Umbra’s, but the first to have a child with her. That universe’s Lyra is-”

“Alright. We get it.” Lyra cut him off, “Why did the Princess contact us through you, rather than just call us?”

“…Matter that I do not have the authorization to know,” Time Turner shrugged, “You’ll all find out soon enough.”

“Let’s get to the point then, what do you want?” Big Macintosh demanded.

“It’s a simple matter, but I think a visual is going to be much more effective.” Time Turner pulled out a pencil and paper.

“Now imagine that this paper represents our Equestria. Now…”

Time Turner stabbed the pencil into the paper, leaving a hole.

“This represents….Let’s say Sparkling Cider.” The stallion jabbed the pencil in the paper a few more times, leaving more holes.
“Those represent Garden Royale, Scarlet Tornado, Golden Gem and Apple Pie. Let me just add a few more, so I can represent all twenty.”

Time Turner jabbed it several more times, “There, twenty. Now, every time one of them crosses over, it leaves another hole.” Time Turner stabbed the paper again, continuing with his explanation while doing so, “And then we have the whole thing with Paula Red and her hanger-ons.
Really wish I got a chance to talk to her, but anyway…”
The stallion put the pencil down and held up the paper: massive chunks where missing from the paper, and several pieces fell off as he showed it to the couple.

“Every time one of them makes it through, it weakens the dimensional barrier. Now let’s get things clear, there are things much worse out there. Even more so than Discord.” Time Turner’s expression darkened, “Imagine if Celestia became evil, or perhaps a Nightmare possessed Twilight Sparkle. Imagine a universe where every being within it desires to convert us to be exactly like them.”

“…So in short, too many trips and bad mojo happens,” Lyra summarized.


“Then why did the Princess give’m those?”

“It was an experiment, mostly. We don’t know a whole lot about interdimensional travel, and this was the perfect opportunity. We didn’t think it would affect the barrier that much,” Time Turner rubbed his temples, “Theory is a wonderful thing, but it only can do so much. It appears continued transport by the same individuals speeds up the process, and having direct counterparts cross over did even more damage. It’s interesting though. Nova and Midnight Bliss didn’t cause nearly as much damage as Apple Pomace’s arrival.”

Lyra frowned “…So, what you’re saying is…”

“I gotta tell them they can’t come anymore.” Big Macintosh concluded.

Goes Away in the end.

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Sweet Apple Acres

Big Macintosh sighed as he and Lyra continued to the barn.

“Everypony there?”

“Eeyup,” Lyra responded, “…Mac, are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Nope,” the stallion honestly responded, “I… I don’t know if this is the right way to do it, but it’s still something that I have to do.”

“…This is going to end in tears,” Lyra shook her head.

“I know,” Big Macintosh responded as he pushed open the barn door: all twenty of the kids and most of their mothers stood there waiting,
“That’s why I invited everyone.”

“Hi Dad!” all the fillies and colts beamed at him.

“Macintosh, this better be important,” Rarity stated, “I have orders I need to fill.”

“Trust me, Rarity, it is.” The stallion sighed as he stopped in front of the group.

Silence reigned as the stallion stared at the ground, building up his courage.

“Kids… ou can’t come here anymore.”

Everypony’s expression changed to shock and surprise, as they glanced at one another. As everypony opened their mouths to speak, Big Macintosh held up a hoof.

“Let me explain. I just got word from Princess Celestia about it. According to her, every time you hop between your home and this one, it damages the barrier.” Big Macintosh paused, “Think of it like an umbrella: it protects you, but every time something pokes a hole in it, it starts to leak. Then the holes get a little bigger and soon, it’s not gonna stop anything else from staying out.”

“Wait, you mean there are worse things out there?” Carrot Top frowned.

“…Yes.” Golden Sweet and Oscura nodded.

“But we have the elements and you!” Acey pointed a hoof at Twilight and Big Macintosh.

“She’s right Mac,” Applejack countered, “Don’t you have any faith in us?”

“Oscura, talk about the princesses in your world.” The stallion ordered.

“…Do I have to?” the filly looked down, away from Mac.


“…Princess Celestia is known as Corona. Before she was sealed away for a second time by the new Elements of Harmony, she ruled the land with an iron hoof, demanding pony sacrifices to appease her.”

Twilight took a step back from Oscura, “But… Princess Celestia would never do that!”

“Our Celestia wouldn’t. But that’s my point.” Big Macintosh sighed, “Would you really be able to fight against that?”

“…I don’t know,” Twilight relented.

“Even then… could you really fight against yourself?” Big Macintosh continued, “There’s gonna be a universe out there where one of you is evil. Do you really think you could bring yourself to fight one of your friends?”

The remaining Elements of Harmony exchanged uncertain glances, before hanging their heads in defeat.

“No, I couldn’t.” Rarity responded. The others nodded in agreement.

“And then, assuming you all fail, what could I do against that? I’m not an element, I’m just a normal pony.”

The collected ponies stared at Big Macintosh in silence.

“I want what’s best for you all,” the stallion sighed, “It ain’t easy for me to say this, but What’s best is that you stay with your Macintoshs and your moms.
…Don’t get me wrong, I love each and every one of you, and I want you to stay safe.”

Silence once again filled the barn as Big Macintosh wiped away his tears.

“That’s the least I can do. We had good times, and we had lots of fun. Well, not all of it was fun.”

“I told Mr. Cake I was sorry, Dad.” Apple Cake responded.

“He took it better than I thought he would.” Mrs. Cake added.

“I do appreciate that, by the way,” Big Macintosh added, “But I’m getting off topic, I-”

“I get it, Dad.” Sparkling Cider nodded, interrupting Big Macintosh.

“I do too.” Scarlet shook her head, “I don’t like it, but dad always says things like that.”

The ponies murmured in agreement.

“…Can we atleast say goodbye?” one of the others called out.

“…I would be a pretty rotten pony if I said no, wouldn’t I?” Big Macintosh managed to smile.

“I brought my camera too,” Lyra dragged a small wagon in, “It’s one of those fast ones, so we don’t have to wait too long for the pictures.”

“Alright, everypony line up with your kid,” Big Macintosh paused, “The rest of you just have to take them with me, I guess.”

“We’ll take a group picture at the end,” Lyra’s aura flared up as she started setting up the camera, “Hope I brought enough…”

“Alright, then let’s get started…”


“Come on squeeze in more,” Lyra motioned for the ponies on her left to move in closer.

“If I get any closer, I’m going to have my face in her butt,” Scarlet Tornado grumbled.

“…Maybe if you stand on Dash’s back you’ll fit better,” Lyra suggested.


Scarlet Tornado weaseled her way out from between Bellona and Midnight Bliss and flittered onto Dash’s back.

“Sweetie Belle, you and Apple Jam need to move a little more to the right, You’re blocking Oscura.” Lyra motioned for the two fillies to move.
“Little too much.
There, perfect.”

Applejack trotted over to the camera, “Lyra, go on in there.”

“What? No, I can take the pictures.”

“I got it,” Applejack assured her, “You get in there with Mac.”

“You know how this works, right?”

“Sure I do, I just press that doohickey right there, right?”


“Alright then,”

Lyra trotted over to the group and wiggled her way through the other ponies, taking her place at Big Macintosh’s side.

“Alright then, say ‘Cheese’!”

The Beginning is Still an End

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“Mornin’ Lyra.”

Big Macintosh trotted over to the unicorn mare and planted a kiss on her cheek. The unicorn blushed and pushed him away.

“Morning, you big lug.” She smiled back, “is…”

“Not yet. Just came down to check on breakfast.”

“It’ll be done once you go and wake your daughter up,” Lyra responded, rolling her eyes.

The stallion left the kitchen and headed up the stairs. Pushing open one of the doors, he entered a room decorated with crayon drawings. Atop a bed laid a pile of blankets, slowly rising and falling.

“Rhapsody, wake up.” The stallion called out.

The pile of blankets stirred and a head poked out of them.


“Get up, your mother made waffles.”

The head wiggled its way out of the blankets, revealing a rust red unicorn filly with a Celeste mane with white streaks. The filly hopped out of the blankets and landed on the floor.

“Do we got apple butter too?” she asked.

“It’s ‘Do we have’, and yes, we do,” the stallion corrected, “Now c’mon.”

“Alright, Pa.”

The filly trotted over towards Big Macintosh and the two headed downstairs.

“Hi mommy!”

“Good Morning Rhapsody,” Lyra smiled at her daughter as she placed a plate of waffles on the table, “Better hurry up, they’ll be here soon.”

Rhapsody’s horn gave off a light red aura as she dragged a jar towards her. Opening it, the filly grinned as she levitated a spoon and scooped out a heaping helping of the spread. Before she could place it on her waffles, another magic aura engulfed it.

“That better not be for one waffle,” Lyra frowned.

“Eee…nope,” Rhapsody responded, “I was gonna use it for all of’m.”

“You better,” Lyra released the spoon, dropping it and the apple butter onto her plate. The filly grumbled to herself as she began to smear it onto all of her waffles.

“I smell waffles,” an older Applebloom and Rumble appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

“Better hurry up, before your brother and niece eat them all,” Lyra noted.

The two quickly hurried over and loaded their own plates with waffles, the two then sat at the table as Rhapsody continued to stuff her face with waffles. Between bites, the filly noticed them.

“Hi Aunty Applebloom!”

“Morning Rhapsody.”

“Aunty Applebloom, I have a question.”

“What is it?” Applebloom asked as she began eating.

“How come there were weird noises coming from your room last night?”

Rumble and Applebloom spat their mouthfuls of food onto Big Macintosh.

“It sounded like you were both really happy.” The filly continued before turning back to her waffles.

“I… we… uh…” Rumble stuttered.

“I think I hear someone coming,” Lyra interrupted, “Why don’t you go see who it is, Rhapsody?”


The filly finished her last waffle and hopped off of her chair. Big Macintosh and Lyra shot Applebloom and Rumble a dirty look.

“We told you not to do that here.” Big Macintosh scolded the two.

“We thought she was asleep.” Applebloom grumbled, “Besides, it was Rumble’s idea.”

Rhapsody pulled open the door, revealing an azure pegasus colt and Pink earth colt.

“Hi Rhapsody!” the pink one beamed.

“Hi Popper. Hi Flash.” She greeted the two ponies.

“Rhapsody, who is it?” Lyra called out.

The two ponies head into the house.

“Hi Mrs. Apple!” the pink one beamed.

“Oh, Hello Party Popper, Flash Bulb,” Lyra greeted the colts, “What do you all have planned for today?”

“We’re gonna go to see Lightning Gem, and then figure it out,” the pegasus, Flash Bulb, responded.

“Alright, stay out of trouble. We don’t want a repeat of last time.” Big Macintosh grumbled.

“…We apologized to Mrs. Cake,” Popper sulked.

“Just don’t do it again.”


The three ponies continued their way into town, before stopping in front of the Carousel Boutique. Before any of them could knock, something leapt out of the second story window, and landed behind the three. They turned around to see a white pegasus filly with a blonde mane.

“Quick, we need to leave,” the pegasus informed the others, “Mom’s still looking for m-”

“Lightning Gem! Come out here this instance!” Rarity’s voice thundered.

“….Hawk’s?” Popper asked the others.

“Hawk’s.” the other three nodded in agreement before taking off.

Rarity made it to the window just in time to see the four flee.


“Rare, you should calm down,” Thunderlane tried in vain to calm his wife down. Rarity spun around to face him and redirected her anger at him.

“I BLAME YOU!” the fashionista stabbed an accusing hoof into Thunderlane’s muzzle.

“…It’s not my fault our daughter’s a tomboy.” He grumbled as Rarity stalked off.


“…Alright, she’s not chasing after me anymore, I think we can stop.” Lightning Gem skidded to a stop as the others crashed behind her.

“Why were we running anyway?” Rhapsody asked as she pulled herself from underneath Popper.

“Mom wanted me to help her model a dress,” Lightning Gem’s face distorted at the mere mention of it, “she knows I hate dresses.”

“…Why are you all lying on the ground?” a new voice called out.

A grey unicorn colt with a bright, rainbow mane trotted over to the group.

‘Don’t ask, Hawk.” Flash Blub grumbled, “Will you get off me?”

“My hoof’s stuck,” Popper grumbled.

“On what?

“I dunno.”

Flash Bulb grumbled and muttered to himself as he pushed Popper off him. The earth pony landed on his back.

“Oh, it was a rock.” Popper sprung back to his hooves.

“So what are you all doing here? I thought we were suppose to meet at Sugarcube corner.” Hawk inquired.

“The blender blew up.” Popper scratched behind his neck, “Not my fault this time.”

“So since Aunty Pinkie didn’t want us staying there while it got fixed, we went to go get Rhapsody. Then we went to get Gem, but she ran out of her house.” Flash Bulb continued.

“Why were you running?” Hawk turned his attention to Lightning Gem.

“New dress.”

“So now we’re gonna go look for Slide Ru-”

“What are you all standing around for?” another voice called out. An earth pony filly with a brown coat and cerise mane trotted up to the group, pausing for a moment to adjust her glasses.

‘…Well that makes everything easier,” Rhapsody responded.

“I thought we were going to meet at Sugarcube Corner.” The newcomer asked.

“Popper blew up a blender, Slide Rule.” Flash Bulb informed her.

“I didn’t blow it up.”

“Most ponies don’t put frozen pineapples in blenders.” Bulb countered.

Slide Rule blinked, “How did that….”

Whole pineapples.”

“…Why did you freeze whole pineapples?” Rhapsody asked Popper.

“Because we ran out of space in the refrigerator.”

Hawk and Lightning Gem exchanged confused glances as Rhapsody opened her mouth to speak.
“…You know what, never mind.” The unicorn filly changed her mind, “What are we going to do now?”

“…The Library?” Slide Rule offered

“…I guess.” The others all shrugged.


The door slammed open as the six ponies entered. A grey unicorn mare peeked over at the fillies and colts.

“Hi Miss Dinky!” the six called out.

“Hello everypony,” Dinky smiled at them, “What can I help you with today?”

“We’re just gonna look around until we can figure out what we’re going to do today,” Rhapsody responded.

“…Alright, I need to step out to take care of something,” Dinky informed them, “Don’t wreck anything.”

“We learned from the last time,” Popper apologized.

“Do you have the newest Daring Do novel yet?” Hawk asked.

“We just got it, Tomahawk.” Dinky chuckled as she levitated the book into view, “Daring Do and the…”

Tomahawk’s aura surrounded the book and yanked it out of Dinky’s aura. Tomahawk, Popper and Flash ran off to go read it.

“…Empire of the Rising Sun.” Dinky rolled her eyes, “I know he loves the series, but he could at least be a bit more polite….”


“That’s how it ends?” Tomahawk frowned, “But is Doctor Baku on her side or the bad guys?”

“I dunno,” Popper shrugged, “That’s how they sell more books.”

“Bu…” Flash trailed off, “…Anypony else felt that?”

“What are you tal…” Lightning Gem trailed off as a stray spark of electricity shocked her, “What the heck?”

The air in the middle of the room crackled and sparked.

“EVERYPONY HEAD FOR COVER!” Rhapsody screamed before ducking behind a table.

The other five dived for cover as lightning struck the ground. A brilliant flash of light filled the room, followed by smoke. As the smoke cleared, the six ponies found an older mare, about the same age as Dinky and Applebloom on the ground, surrounded by scorch marks. The mare, a white coated Unicorn with a gamboge mane and heavy trench coat coughed as she pushed the goggles on her face up. She looked down at her left forehoof, inspecting a clunky metal box.

“…Seems to be working right,” The unicorn mused, “Gotta get this stupid jacket off…”

The mare took off the coat, revealing her cutie mark: a set of gears and a wrench.

“…Little fillies and colts, I can see you, you know,” the mare shook her head, “Come out.”

“My pa said not to talk to strangers,” Rhapsody shot back.

“Who’s that?” the mysterious mare asked.

“He’s Big Macintosh.”

“…Your mother’s not Lyra, is it?” the mare went on. Instead of responding Rhapsody shot Lightning Gem and Slide Rule a confused look.
“Don’t answer that, your face says yes,” the mare chuckled.
“It’s alright, Big Macintosh and I know each other.”

“Are you friends?”

“In a sense,” the mare paused.

“Who are you?” Tomahawk asked.

The mare grinned at the collected fillies and colts.

“My name is Golden Gem.”