On her latest administrative mission, Princess Twilight Sparkle and her entourage of friends are off to the frozen north-western reaches of Equestria.
There, in the icy cold over three centuries before, Princess Celestia established a small colony as a base for the future settlement of the region. The purpose was to spread the ever increasing numbers of citizens out over a wider area and avoid over-population. It is a similar idea to Appleloosa's and even Ponyville's founding.
The difference though is that this colony, Koltsovo as it's known, was Equestria's first and most dreaded penal colony. Though there are few such colonies of Equestrian criminals, this one has been the bane of Celestia for her to allow admittance, seeming resistant to being admitted into the kingdom. Now this developed, populous and, as they call it, 'industrial' land may at long last be ready.
There are a few problems with tense, some parts have unnecessary words (such as using 'on in' when either on or in by itself would work fine), but it's intriguing and is an interesting concept! One thing that made me curious, though, is why Celestia would send Twilight, a VALUABLE PONY PRINCESS, if ponies were commonly going missing while on assignment to the colony?
Otherwise, great story! Hope to see more!
3906125 Had finished it and felt kinda tired so I didn't noticed I had missed some bits that I was going to add. Had already posted it, so didn't noticed til a bit later. Sooo... shit happens.
3906125 Ok, I think I fixed it.
3906125 What does 'tense' mean and what problems do I have? Please elaborate.