Swift is a thief by circumstance. When his parents were banished from Equestria he and his sister were forced into the street, but when Swift gets mixed up in a coup by an ambitious general to steal the crown from Celestial he and his long time friend Shadow Wing must steal, bribe and maybe even kill to keep their loved Princess on the throne.
-Apostrophe after queen
-'s' after thing
-Comma after you
On a side note, cool story so far.
Grammar nazi
DAMN IT SHEOGORATH
3404662 So is does that mean you like it or you want it to burn in hell(s)?
3417462
THRUST UPON ME YOUR FINEST CHEESE
What.
The.
Fuck
Tucker.
Queens crown whom (or what)?
3571232 sorry the description didn't update. it isn't supposed to be what it is at the moment. it should say something about a coup and Swift has to save Celestia by stealing some things to prove that they are guilty.
3575653
You misunderstand. Queens can crown people (that is, declare them royalty). A queen's crown (note the apostrophe) is something else entirely.
Surely you aren't suggesting that this is a story about a crown? The title clearly reflects that queens are crowning someone.
3575673 Originally it was supposed to be about Swift having to steal the crown to save his little sister from some kidnappers who hate Swift for some reason I never came up with because i never actually go that far in to that plot. Hey have you ever read the book Theft of Swords, that was what i had originally intended to write this story like but then my friend(Leafz Pegasus who is a far better write then i am) persuaded me to change it after many negative comments about it.
PS i appreciate the feed back it really helps allot
3575673 no wait shit the description was right