Chapter 2 - Foster Mother
The three ponies were sitting beside a pond in a forest, all cleaned up after the fiasco at Trote. The bright full moon hung above their heads, their only shelter the stars that surrounded the night sky. A bonfire protected their bodies from the cold winds of the upcoming winter. With wild grass and pond water as their dinner, they talked about their plans.
“Okay, listen up everypony,” Twilight announced to the two fillies. “If what I’ve been hearing is true, winter is coming soon. We can’t stay in the forest, or we’ll freeze to death. We must find a place for us to crash. What’s the nearest village aside from Trote?” Selene was too consumed with the grass to notice Twilight’s question, so Celeste spoke for both of them.
“The nearest village here is the Southern Earth. It’s the biggest village next to Central Earth, so we can get all the things we need. It’ll be a three-day hike from this forest. Wait, how do we even get the things we need without anything to trade?”
Twilight thought about it for a second. “You’re right, we don’t have anything. We can’t just find precious objects around the ground.” Her mind clicked. “Actually, we can!”
The older sibling looked at her with confusion. “What?”
Twilight gave her a big smile. “We can find gems on the way.”
“But that’ll take time! Winter would reach us by the time we can find one.”
The purple pony pointed at her horn. “That’s when magic comes in.” Rarity, you don’t know how much we are in debt to you. Contented with the amount of grass in her stomach, she called their attention.
“We’ll talk about that tomorrow. For tonight, we shall start our first lesson in magic: Control.” That was the first lesson Princess Celestia taught her, so why not to them both? They also needed the basics to try harder spells. The two fillies’ attention was now on her. Twilight levitated four pieces of stone from the ground and waved them in the air with fluid-like movements.
“Since you already know basic levitation, you need to know how to control it properly.”
Selene’s face dropped at those words. “I don’t.”
This information prompted Twilight to change the lesson plan for her. “That’s alright,” she said reassuringly. After silently examining the stones, she gave Selene the smallest stone in the group, and Celeste the rest. “Selene, you concentrate levitating this stone. For you Celeste, levitate each of these three stones simultaneously.”
They both nodded and started on their assignments. Selene, for her part, was doing her best to concentrate all of her willpower at the small stone. Sadly, the sparks at her horn would quickly fade in seconds. Celeste could only maintain two at most. After the third stone, they all fell to the ground. Twilight decided that the younger pony needed help first.
“Hmm. Selene, why don’t you first try to imagine what you want the stone to do? Then allow your magic to make your will happen.”
After a few more attempts, the stone still refused to budge. Selene’s face then fell to a pout. “It can’t! Maybe it’s immune to magic.”
Twilight patiently smiled at her. “Don’t think that it can’t. Think that you can.”
With those words echoing in her brain, Selene closed her eyes and shut everything out except for her and the troublesome stone. She released her very soul to it and felt some slight magic envelop both the small stone and her horn. She peeked to see if it worked, and indeed it did; the stone was now hovering above the ground, surrounded by a faint light blue magic.
“I did it!” The ecstasy that surrounded her was so strong that she didn’t even notice the stone drop. “Did you see it, Twilight? Did you see it?”
She felt even happier when Twilight’s eyes shone with pride. “That was great, Selene! Rarely anypony does it that quick. I’m so proud of you.”
Those words gave Selene the push to hug Twilight again. She returned the gesture and released it after what seemed like hours. “Okay now. Try to master levitating the stone. Can you do it?” The small unicorn’s eyes were filled with determination not unlike her sister. “Yes, Twilight!”
Twilight then turned next to the other unicorn. Anger was clearly written in her face. Every time the stones fell, she would rage on them like they were her enemies. Twilight came nearer and comforted the filly. “Are you alright?”
“These stupid stones won’t cooperate! They always fall apart when I pick up the third stone.” The anger was now turned into sadness for failing her work.
The purple unicorn levitated the stones and made them twirl around her charge. “For this, you need to clear your mind and think of them as one, not separated. Each of them must have a common goal. In your case, it’s simply to raise them up. If chaos takes hold…” She suddenly released her hold to the stones, making an audible thump as they hit the ground. “You’ll lose them.” Twilight encouragingly smiled at her. “You can do it.”
“So, all I need to think is the harmony between the stones?” Celeste asked. Twilight did nothing but nod at her. With that undying determination in her eyes, she let harmony reign in her heart. She found it much easier to command the stones now, as they were all currently floating in midair. She felt a connection to each of them, and used that harmony inside her to unite them to one goal. It was an odd experience for Celeste, but liked it nonetheless.
After a while, she got tired of moving the stones around and gently placed them back on the grassy ground. She had a satisfied smile in her face, and gave it to her wonderful teacher. “That was great! Thanks, Twilight.”
She smiled back and placed her hoof on the filly’s shoulder. “Both you and your sister are really talented, I can say. By this rate, it won’t take you long until you can cast all of the spells I know.”
This made Celeste beam like her sister. “Really?”
“Really.”
Their chat was interrupted by a yawn from the blue filly besides them, her small stone on top of her head. Twilight giggled at the cute sight presented to her, and settled to call it a day. “Okay everypony, that’s enough for today. We’ve got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.”
Without much ceremony, they all lay near each other, just near enough the fire to give them sufficient heat. Using the leaves she found nearby that were big enough for the fillies, Twilight gently covered their fragile bodies to protect them from the cold. She then curled up like a ball to make her whole body fit the makeshift blanket. “Goodnight, girls,” she silently whispered to them. “Goodnight, Twilight,” they replied.
The unicorn's thoughts drifted to the memories of the ponies she valued most in her lives. Her friends, her family, her teacher... even if they were millenniums away, she could still feel their love resonating inside her heart. With two new ponies to add in her circle of friends, everypony back would be delighted to hear about them. Yes, in the end, what matters most is that evepony ends up smiling. I must've hung around Pinkie Pie too much these few days, she's been rubbing off on me.
With her muzzle curled up, she allowed herself to rest her mind. Don’t worry, friends. I’ll go back to the future. Even if it’ll take me a lifetime.
---
Twilight was awakened by a light tug on her mane. It was still dark around, with only the feeble light of burnt ashes remaining from the once blazing flames. As she turned her back, she realized that it was Selene tugging her mane. There were tears on her eyes and a frown on her face. “Twilight, can I sleep next to you tonight? I had a nightmare.”
Twilight drew the pony closer and engulfed her inside her hug. “Of course you can.”
Selene hugged her tighter, like she would leave this very instant. “You know Twilight, you’re the only pony who showed me and my sister kindness.” She sniffed as her tears now flowed freely in Twilight’s fur. “Everypony, even our parents, treated us like we meant nothing. And now you appear out of nowhere and taught us all of these wonderful things. And you also said you’ll take care of us.” She looked at Twilight’s eyes with desperation. “Can you be our mother?”
Those words rocked Twilight’s very core. She never expected to mean this much to these two fillies. If I do this, I can really pose a threat to the timeline in the future. To Tartarus with the timeline; that’s future Twilight’s problem. For now, they have been devoid of motherly love their whole lives. These two wonderful fillies deserve a good mother. What right do I have to deny that? But can I even fill that role? No, Twilight, you've got to help them; you have no excuse!
“If you want to.”
With those words in her mind, Selene closed her eyes and let peaceful thoughts into her mind. She had a mother who loved her now. Twilight’s final words served as a sweet lullaby for her ears as she drifted off to sleep. The nightmares wouldn't be coming back anytime soon.
---
As consciousness began to grip Twilight, she overheard a conversation behind her. Deciding to listen for a while, she continued to shut her eyes.
“You asked her WHAT!?” Celeste’s voice was filled with shock.
“I asked her to be our mother, and she said ‘If you want to.’ And I want to!”
“Are you sure you weren’t just dreaming? Nopony just wants to become our mother overnight.”
“She said so. And she’ll be my mother, no matter what you say.”
Twilight decided to act, giving out a yawn to enhance the authenticity of her supposedly recent sleep. “Morning, girls. What do you want for breakfast today?” Looking around, she noticed a patch of mushrooms growing below a tree not far from them. Are those even safe? “Mushroom soup, anypony?”
Selene quickly dashed to her and hugged Twilight’s foreleg tightly. “Tell her, Twilight. Tell her that you agreed to become our mother.”
Twilight looked at the older sibling awkwardly. After a short pause, she gave her reply. “Yeah, I kind of did. I’m not forcing anything on you, of course.”
Celeste’s face became a mixture of emotions, varying from shock, confusion, and worry. This mare just saw us yesterday, and now she’s offering to be our mother? Is it even possible? Come to think of it, she’s the only pony who wanted to teach us magic. She is very kind too, unlike the other ponies we met. Does she even like us? Can it be true that she really wants to be our mother? After moments of thinking, her face was now filled with longing. Longing for a kind mother she never had. The filly smiled shyly, looking at the ground as she could not last at looking at those purple eyes which now seemed to be full of limitless love. The mumbles from her mouth were incomprehensible at first. But after putting a bit more energy on it, she could finally force the words out.
“I-I’d lo-love to be… yo-your da-daughter.” Her blush could not be hidden by her white coat. After finally mustering enough courage to look at her eyes, she could see that both Twilight and her sister were smiling. “Told you so,” Selene said teasingly.
---
Twilight, what are you doing? A voice inside her head called out. Twilight knew this voice: It was that voice who always countered her thoughts. I’m adopting these fillies, of course. Why, what’s wrong with that?
The voice grew a bit angrier. What’s wrong with that? At this rate, you’ll be adopting Equestria before sundown! And besides, you’ll need to leave them at some point, right? Those words made her question her decision. Yeah, once I finish the time spell, I need to leave these two. Maybe I should tell them to question themselves, too.
Don’t! A new voice emerged, this time kinder than the previous one. They need you today; you said it yourself last night. Until they find a suitable home, it is your duty to be with them, being their foster mother and all. Twilight nodded at that idea. You’re right, I’ll find a place for them to live peacefully. Ha, all of this in one day.
---
“Twilight, the mushroom soup’s burning.”
Celeste’s voice snapped Twilight Sparkle out of her reverie. Sniffing some stray smoke that came from the soup, she carefully levitated a blob of water from the pond and sprayed it at the fire. The soup was cooked at a large wooden makeshift bowl carved from a tree using nothing but magic. She filled three similar smaller bowls with a generous amount of soup. “Eat up, girls.”
The breakfast discussion contained nothing but Celeste and Selene’s life, which rather made them uncomfortable. Twilight decided to change the topic by telling them her adventures with her friends, specifically with that one dragon and Fluttershy. This perked up their attention rapidly. Although Twilight did not mention specific names for fear of timeline disruption, they were so hooked that they did not even realize that the soup was gone when she was at the edge of her story.
“After seeing her friends hurt by the dragon, the once shy pony was filled with willpower. She stared at the gigantic beast, and gave him a piece of her mind. It was effective, as the dragon left his cave and freed our little town from being covered in smoke for a century.”
“Whoa,” the two fillies said in unison. “So you mean that this friend of yours could stare at any animal and subdue them? How’s that even possible?” Celeste asked with awe.
“Well, I really don’t know how. But I can tell you, that dragon didn’t stand a chance.”
Selene was bouncing with excitement. “Can you tell us another story?”
Twilight chuckled at their lively display of enthusiasm. “As much as I wanted to, we really must get going right now if we want to reach Southern Earth in time.”
After washing the bowls they used, Twilight packed them on a clumsily-made saddlebag created from last night’s leaf blankets and some vines they found hanging around. It was enough to keep the wooden bowls and future gems they might encounter.
“Everypony ready?”
Both Celeste and Selene smiled in return.
“Ready!”
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Interesting premise and well written to boot. I'll be watching this.
This is only the second fic I've read with Twi as Cely's mother and I always love them. Can't wait for Twi's reaction when she finds out who Celeste and Selene really are.
can't wait for the nect update
This story... I like it
interesting story. I'll follow it to see were you take it
Hm, the plot's a little rushed (Ithink jumping straight to 'be our mom' in one day is a little much) but the concept is a cool idea. Might have to keep an eye out on this one :)
2609030
actually i can kinda see, that the question came up after a day
both fillies didn't ever have someone being nice to them(besides themselves), i can see that Selene, the younger and more naive one, being eager to call the second pony who ever was nice to her 'Mom'
Great story can't wait for the next chapter.
The moment I read that synopsis, I knew this story to be destined for greatness!
That and you couldn't have picked a much more epic story-relevant picture.
Interesting. I'll be following this.
I really hope that this story operates on a stable time loop and that Twilight didn't just create some freaky time paradox.
Following this story anyways. It really sounds interesting.
TBH as soon as Twilight became their mother my brain clicked into...
[Super hero voice]
FANON IS CANON MODE!
Away!
2609044
You're probably right. This is my first story after all. I'll be editing that tomorrow. Thanks
2609285
i doubt that she could create a Paradox, we already saw what happend when Twilight WANTED to change the past with this spell
I already read it twice and I wanted to ask when do you plan on putting up the next chapter?
I'm wondering, HOW THE HELL DOES TWILIGHT NOT RECOGNIZE THAT SHE HAS JUST ADOPTED CELESTIA AND LUNA. But I want to know Twilight's reaction when she discovers this. And how are they going to become alicorns? Do they need to be blasted with the elements of harmony to get wings?
Hmm, I think it would be better if Twilight's thoughts were in italics, or with dashes or something in front and after them. It'll make it easier to read, 'cause it can be a little confusing at times.
The 'mother' thing also seems a little too rushed, I think it's best if you slow it down a bit.
Otherwise, great story! Liking and watching
I like where this is going
onwards and upwards
Need to work on the pacing and sentence structure a little bit. Feels as if you are combining two sentences that mean the same thing, but when smashed together they do not flow well at all. I think someone pre-reading or editing for you and pointing out the little mistakes would do you good.
Great so far, loving the idea of this story. If you can take a little criticism though, I gotta say that it feels a bit rushed.
Slllllooooooowwwww Dooowwwnnnn.
Then it's golden!
I like it!
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/34/Eddard_Stark.jpg/250px-Eddard_Stark.jpg
As I've read through this, I've noticed you've not started a new paragraph whenever somepony new starts talking. It's not a big fix, so it's nothing to throw a fit about, but it is a fix that needs to be made. It'll keep the dialogue more organized and easier to follow. There were a few other errors that need to be fixed, mostly word choice and sentence structure.
I'm also in agreement with the others in saying this seems to be moving a bit too quickly. You might want to slow it down a bit. Other than all that, I really like this story and I look forward to seeing where you're going to go with this! I can already tell this is going to make for a very engaging tale.
Best of luck to ya, kiddo! /)
-Silver Quill
Me gusta
I had this idea quite a while ago, except it was somewhat different.
A bit rushed, a few mistakes here and there, but nothing that overall detracts from the story, at least in my opinion.
Keep going with this as I would love to see this story to completion.
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSJhMjAxMi8wNy8zMS8xMl8zNF8xOF8xMzdfNjI5MjRfX3NhZmVfdHdpbGlnaHRfc3BhcmtsZV9hbmltYXRlZF9sb29rX2JlZm9yZV95b3Vfc2xlZXBfY2xhcHBpbmcGOgZFVA/62924__safe_twilight-sparkle_animated_happy_look-before-you-sleep_clapping.gif
Still going pretty fast but again I love the plot. Nice cover art too
Gotta love mummy Twi!
As everyone else here has said, the pacing needs work, but other than that it's great! Keep it up!
The story seems interesting, I just hope you can pull of the time travel consequences with no hassle.
This is like Que Sera sera... but far better!
2609095 I don't know, even still I'd say it would take more then one day. Not saying it should have been long after but a but yeah. it weakens the emotional weight a bit when you jump straight to that... heck even Twilight I see being at least hesitant at the sudden question needing more then one paragraph to agree... But that may just be me.
I still like the the fic though and will keep an eye on where it goes.
2608725 Here, take this. fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/141/7/f/ftryuiytfrdf_by_blackfoxfurry7-d6624yh.jpg
2610014 hehe THX
Have a moustache
This is decent enough, but you seriously need to get an editor. Take your pick.
You have a tendency to have two characters speak in the same paragraph. For example:
I really enjoy this story so far but you need a proofreader. The only other note I have for you is that you shouldn't be afraid to slow down now that you have established the main characters. If only so we can see their relationship take shape. I can tell you have a grand adventure planned but giving us time with the characters and the breathing room that comes with a varied pace will just make it stronger.
MORE!!!!!!!!
Wow. Just...wow.
MORE!!!!!
I can not see how this story is receiving such high praise. I admit, I went into it with high expectations due to it having 140 upvotes and all of 0 downvotes, but I was sadly disappointed.
The short of it is that this story is badly paced, consistently uses faulty grammar, and you're constantly switching between past and present tense. (Not to mention first and third person.)
Yeah, I get that this is a first story for you, and I admit that the premise is interesting, but you desperately need a good pre-reader. If you do get one, listen to him or her, and make sure he or she isn't afraid to bombard you with criticism. Being good takes Work. You don't want to write fanfictions with as much literary value as the Twilight vampire series do you? (Unless you get a boatload of cash for it. It's totally worth writing crappy fiction if it comes with a boatload of cash.)
I still wonder why are Celestia and Luna unicorns here in the past, as fillies!
2610225
because Twilight, in cannon, was a Unicorn before she became a Alicorn?
2608654
Could you tell me the name of the other one?
im kinda want to read that.
2610283
Que Sera, Sera
This story's premise reminds me of Que Sera Sera. Twilight gets send back, mothers future Celestia and Luna, trains them, leaves them at some point. (due to returning to her time or more likely death)
2610283 I think she knows...
Look to the end of the first chapter...
As has been said before, the dialog is a little wonky. Yet both the story and your writing show a lot of potential, keep up the good work and keep improving.
i.imgur.com/nCBK7vP.gif
I'll have some more please.
2609399
Because they are both unicorns and Celestia's mane is pink.
I wonder why even Celestia and Luna's own parents hated them. Was due to the circumstances of their birth? And Twilight get further research done on the return spell y meeting Star Swirl himself?