Canterlot Orphan Twilight Sparkle receives a surprise when Princess Luna offers to take Twilight as her personal protege. Under Luna's tutelage, a new Valkyrie is born.
waaahhh! these are short like mine! perhaps even shorter! that's not good because you upload like a normal person... I am really loving this story, so freaking much.
2606131 Yea, decided to just roll with the shipping, let it go where it wanted.
And some people like Valkyrie more. Others prefer Unity. Either way, I'm working to keep them both updated. Even now I'm ironing out more stuff for Unity.
She had not felt attracted to a pony in a long time, and she was unsure if she should start now.
well here in Kansas 16 is considered legal but they really only have the legal age that low so they can nail you with statutory rape, so 17 is well within fair-game limits I go with Spitfire/Twilight or Luna/Twilight shipfests myself but how ever this goes I SO hope it's backstage to the story because this is getiing more interesting with all these blasted little peeks your're giving us more please
The latter was what Twilight was really looking forward to; Meat was quite rare in Equestria, as they could never grow it fast enough to feed an entire nation. Meat was usually reserved for special occasions like Hearth’s Warming Eve, and the rest of the time the ponies of Equestria made due with enhanced fruits and vegetables.
But they're horses, why would they eat meat? Horses are vegetarians. I can understand eggs but, meat??
“I chose you because I can see your potential, Twilight Sparkle. And I shall leave it at that. But know this: You won’t ever disappoint me, Twilight. I know you will always put forth your best effort, and that is good enough for me.
sounded a bit like a threat actually, the last part helped a bit though.
good job with relaying the information about equestria's military/magic and not making it dull!
2606383>>2606530 these "ponies" are clearly very intelligent, which means that they must have quite the large brain, and a brain that big need lots of protein to grow, humans didn't really start to develop until we started eating meat more than usual. and horses DO eat meat IRL as well, just not very often (it makes them aggressive, it is considered a treat though). these 'horses' however, does not ruminate (the thing most stock animals do; chew grass for a very long time while eating), which in combination with everything else that is different about that makes me reluctant to even call them horses; the only have a somewhat similar form, but that's about it really.
2606383 How else would they obtain some of their higher brain functions? Magically enhanced fruit and vegetables can only go so far to ensure they get the nutrients needed for intelligent capacities and athletic/magical capabilities. I have never understood why so many people show so much aversion to the idea. They don't eat meat every now and then, they become much weaker and less intelligent.
Luna's observation of Twilight at the end felt out of place. I'm not against the shipping or anything, it just seemed like something that couldn't find a place in the chapter was forced in at the end because it was something needed to be known. eh.
I don't know why but I laughed when they were eating meat. It was probably how casually it was introduced xD. I like it. It's refreshing to see since the common portrayal of the ponies and meat is they have a panic attack whenever someone mentions eating an animal. This story is slowly growing on me more and more as I'm enjoying your head cannon ^.^
2606383 I think the meat eating idea came from Into the Black: A Mare's Tale. The scarcity and value of meat was also present there, and Flicka does read it. I can only imagine what would happen if Twilight somehow managed to summon a large platter of warm bacon. It would be the ultimate negotiation tool.
I don't know. There some really good fics which have actually run with Equestrian ponies being omnivores idea.
I took it as little out of left field, seeing as there was no justification given for it. Also, we never see ponies with canines besides Sombra and Nightmare Night Nightmare Moon.
I love this story :D. Though I saw this first, there was a link to unity in it and I love THAT story a lot too :D. I want unity's cliffhanger to go away though >.>
2606648 Errrr... I think you might want to check your facts about horses eating meat. Whomever told you that they did was pulling your leg. (Also on a side note they don't have the teeth to eat meat.)
2606756 I think a lot of people are adverse to the idea of the ponies from eating meat because it's... well it's kinda unnatural. Horses don't eat meat now do they? They don't even have the teeth for it!
That said though it's not that you have ponies eating meat in your story that bothers me... its how it's kinda just tossed out there and expected that your readers will accept it... when your cast is ponies. I was off put by the meat announcement because you didn't really offer an explanation for them to eat meat so it was... odd to have it. It felt like you had it just to have them eating meat really... funnily enough I think if they were humans I'd have just taken the mention of meat as a "meat is expensive and this is just a little char development." xD It's also really really easy to get all the nutrients you need from meat without actually eating meat.
2607064 right back at you, i have checked my fact before and i did so again just now: horses can eat meat, some gets fed meat as a treat (or rather, most often they view it as a treat themselves and eat it if they get the opportunity). they are incredibly specialized herbivores however, so meat should not be something that's regular in their diet, but again, they can eat meat, they can digest it, BUT it can also have VERY special side effects if fed meat often enough. now, back to MLP 'ponies', these are so unlike regular ponies/horses that i wouldn't hesitate to say that they are probably omnivores with a heavy vegetable diet.
2607193 They can eat meat like humans can eat grass. We can put it in our mouths, swallow, and then our bodies will process it... but they don't "eat meat." Like we don't eat grass.
This story has me intrigued I know this is nit-picky to the nth degree, but technically there should be an extra 'e' on 'protégé' when referring to female.
And on the subject of omnivorous horses, I think being strict about equine eating habits is a moot point in a world where immortal winged unicorns can talk and magically banish people to celestial objects
I look forward to where this all is going, though I should warn Her Highness that student/teacher relationships can lead to serious complications down the road. But Her Highness is free to do as she wishes.
As for ponies eating meat, it does seem a bit odd to me as most equine life forms that I am aware of are herbivorous. But I do understand the logic behind your reasoning. Plus if I were ever to become a pony, I'd still want some bacon on occasion.
"Also, I hate FimFiction's way of posting images into a story. For whatever reason, it wont let me put in my Magic Table as a url image. It just refuses to show up, and I can't upload it directly from my computer. So you'll have to make due with an external link-- hopefully that table with satiate some of your curiosity to how my magic works."
Might I suggest that if yu can go back to edit this chapter, you simply remove the "=Magic" bit from this: [url=Magic]? That might work.
But if it doesn't, if you know someone who doesn't have any problems in including images in their fics, ask them for help.
2608175 Yea, already did, including my pre-readers. None of them were of any help. Every time I go to embed an image, it just shows a broken thumbnail to my readers, and no image at all
In order for the image tags to work properly, a "source" url must be used. "http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/140/3/a/untitled2_by_songsaga-d6609nr.png" is the source of the image you're trying to use. Notice the ".png" at the end. If the url doesn't have an image extention (.png, .jpeg, etc.), the image won't show up. In order to get the source url, right click on the image and click "view image", then copy/paste that url into the formatting.
In addition, when linking, the format is [ url=www.example.com ]blah[ /url ] (again, minus the spaces) . The url comes after the equals sign, then a ], then whatever you want the link to say.
2608625 Why thanks! I want to keep Luna as the same playful Princess that enjoys a good prank, but at the same time I'm trying to temper her slightly after Celestia's more infinitely calm demeanor, seeing is how Luna is the ruler of Equestria and all.
This is all kind of new grounds for me, keeping the characters at least similar to canon Equestria, but at the same time, completely different to what we are used to. I'm waiting for a reader or two to cry, "OCC" and attempt to lynch me.
2608753 If there is a small bit of Eragon, it is unintended. I like showing off Twilight's power by having her do something really magical when I introduce her for the first time. In Valkyrie, its expanding her mind. In Unity, its her meditation ritual.
I was so afraid people would totally hate on my story for kind of following the "general plot" of Ranger's Apprentice, as it were. I've been pleasantly surprised that people are enjoying it all the same. Its not really a crossover, nor is it blatant copy-paste....
2608759 Heh, I'm working on making it awesome! Between keeping this and Unity as awesome as I possibly can, I've got my hands full. I'll try not to disappoint!
2608817 I was kind of hoping for that effect. Sure, the other branches of the military are powerful in their own way, but I wanted to portray that the Valkyrie (and Twilight) are in an entirely different league.
2608821 As if that terror thing wasn't enough, the "Records show that the Valkyrie stepping in has lead to victory" sentence just made it even better xP
It they keep eating all that meat, the plots will certainly thicken. On a serious note i really like your militaristic equestria, it's not all fluffy and cuddly, but does not seem to be dark and gloomy either(so far). There is one thing bothering me and it is Lunas sudden attraction to Twilight. I can imagine the purple powerhouse prodigy admiring herprincess, but an Alicorn falling just like that seems a bit weird.
All in all: good stuff and i really hope you will pull this all the way to the end.
Have you tried to use the "fc00.deviantart.com/whatever/whatever/whatever.png" type of URL, (the one that shows up when you open the "download" thing in a new tab? Because it needs to be a plain image file the link contains.
2608595Many thanks from me, as well, for this tutorial (might I call it that?) on embedding images within a chapter. I plan on doing just that in some of my fics when I start uploading them here, and this will definitely help me with that.
Again, xTSGx, and thousand thank yous. You more than deserve the acknowledgment that Flicka gave you, my friend.
2609597 General Twilight Sparkle Equestria Magic General Focus: Magical weaponry Unicorns are cheaper and trained as veterans Cheaper Orbital Friendship Cannon superweapon Stronger Mage Generators Advanced Crystal Heart Defense Tower Advanced Magical Shells upgrade for all tanks and artillery More expensive Earth Pony soldiers No Pegasi Air Force
It is said that when this interdimensional trio is fighting side-by-side with their custom armies, the light shining from the battlefield will outshine the sun.
2609477 The Ranger's Apprentice is a serious of seven or eight chapter books detailing a young man named Will and his eventual acceptance into the Rangers, an elite force of archers who are the kingdom's main tactical force, in addition to the kingdom's "police". In Ranger's Apprentice, Rangers are archers capable of fading away into the background with the help of camouflage, and they are unrivaled archers, seldom missing their targets. There is a saying that goes something like this:
"Even one Ranger is too much for a dire issue. If two are involved, the entire kingdom must be about to fall."
If you've never read the books, I would recommend you do so. Not only are they a good read, but you'll understand how Valkyrie has elements of Ranger's Apprentice.
waaahhh!
these are short like mine! perhaps even shorter! that's not good because you upload like a normal person...
I am really loving this story, so freaking much.
yay! this story is just as intriguing as your other one is! congratz on another success!
2606026 Trust me, the chapter lengths shall get longer when I start to really hit Twilight's training. Anywhere between 5 to 10k.
You could not have been more obvious that this is a TwiLuna fanfic :P
Anyway this is a lot more interesting then unity to be completely honest :)
2606131 Yea, decided to just roll with the shipping, let it go where it wanted.
And some people like Valkyrie more. Others prefer Unity. Either way, I'm working to keep them both updated. Even now I'm ironing out more stuff for Unity.
well here in Kansas 16 is considered legal but they really only have the legal age that low so they can nail you with statutory rape, so 17 is well within fair-game limits I go with Spitfire/Twilight or Luna/Twilight shipfests myself but how ever this goes I SO hope it's backstage to the story because this is getiing more interesting with all these blasted little peeks your're giving us
more please
Oh Yea Twilight! Look at all them books.. You know you want em .. All alone ... On a quiet night ... Just You and Them Baby...
But they're horses, why would they eat meat? Horses are vegetarians. I can understand eggs but, meat??
The idea of meat eating horses utterly terrifies me.
Imagine an 1800's american midwest with herds of man eating horses working together to hunt settlers.
This may haunt me
great chapter!
sounded a bit like a threat actually, the last part helped a bit though.
good job with relaying the information about equestria's military/magic and not making it dull!
2606383>>2606530
these "ponies" are clearly very intelligent, which means that they must have quite the large brain, and a brain that big need lots of protein to grow, humans didn't really start to develop until we started eating meat more than usual. and horses DO eat meat IRL as well, just not very often (it makes them aggressive, it is considered a treat though). these 'horses' however, does not ruminate (the thing most stock animals do; chew grass for a very long time while eating), which in combination with everything else that is different about that makes me reluctant to even call them horses; the only have a somewhat similar form, but that's about it really.
Love it when MLP ponies eat meat in fanfictions.
2606682 But nothing more has yet developed but general awareness.
2606383 How else would they obtain some of their higher brain functions? Magically enhanced fruit and vegetables can only go so far to ensure they get the nutrients needed for intelligent capacities and athletic/magical capabilities. I have never understood why so many people show so much aversion to the idea. They don't eat meat every now and then, they become much weaker and less intelligent.
2606742 Not sure if sarcasm, or not...
Luna's observation of Twilight at the end felt out of place. I'm not against the shipping or anything, it just seemed like something that couldn't find a place in the chapter was forced in at the end because it was something needed to be known. eh.
I don't know why but I laughed when they were eating meat. It was probably how casually it was introduced xD. I like it. It's refreshing to see since the common portrayal of the ponies and meat is they have a panic attack whenever someone mentions eating an animal. This story is slowly growing on me more and more as I'm enjoying your head cannon ^.^
~Have a good one.
MOAR! *remembers politeness lessons* please?
2606383 I think the meat eating idea came from Into the Black: A Mare's Tale. The scarcity and value of meat was also present there, and Flicka does read it. I can only imagine what would happen if Twilight somehow managed to summon a large platter of warm bacon. It would be the ultimate negotiation tool.
2606530
I don't know. There some really good fics which have actually run with Equestrian ponies being omnivores idea.
I took it as little out of left field, seeing as there was no justification given for it. Also, we never see ponies with canines besides Sombra and Nightmare Night Nightmare Moon.
I love this story :D. Though I saw this first, there was a link to unity in it and I love THAT story a lot too :D. I want unity's cliffhanger to go away though >.>
2606648 Errrr... I think you might want to check your facts about horses eating meat. Whomever told you that they did was pulling your leg. (Also on a side note they don't have the teeth to eat meat.)
2606756 I think a lot of people are adverse to the idea of the ponies from eating meat because it's... well it's kinda unnatural. Horses don't eat meat now do they? They don't even have the teeth for it!
That said though it's not that you have ponies eating meat in your story that bothers me... its how it's kinda just tossed out there and expected that your readers will accept it... when your cast is ponies. I was off put by the meat announcement because you didn't really offer an explanation for them to eat meat so it was... odd to have it. It felt like you had it just to have them eating meat really... funnily enough I think if they were humans I'd have just taken the mention of meat as a "meat is expensive and this is just a little char development." xD It's also really really easy to get all the nutrients you need from meat without actually eating meat.
2607064
right back at you, i have checked my fact before and i did so again just now: horses can eat meat, some gets fed meat as a treat (or rather, most often they view it as a treat themselves and eat it if they get the opportunity). they are incredibly specialized herbivores however, so meat should not be something that's regular in their diet, but again, they can eat meat, they can digest it, BUT it can also have VERY special side effects if fed meat often enough. now, back to MLP 'ponies', these are so unlike regular ponies/horses that i wouldn't hesitate to say that they are probably omnivores with a heavy vegetable diet.
2607193 They can eat meat like humans can eat grass. We can put it in our mouths, swallow, and then our bodies will process it... but they don't "eat meat." Like we don't eat grass.
My horse, Bryon, has a thing for bacon. I'm fine with equines eating meat.
This story has me intrigued
I know this is nit-picky to the nth degree, but technically there should be an extra 'e' on 'protégé' when referring to female.
And on the subject of omnivorous horses, I think being strict about equine eating habits is a moot point in a world where immortal winged unicorns can talk and magically banish people to celestial objects
2607734 Yes, there should be, but, like the extra "e" when typing "Corps", I end up forgetting this one instead of adding it.
I look forward to where this all is going, though I should warn Her Highness that student/teacher relationships can lead to serious complications down the road. But Her Highness is free to do as she wishes.
As for ponies eating meat, it does seem a bit odd to me as most equine life forms that I am aware of are herbivorous. But I do understand the logic behind your reasoning. Plus if I were ever to become a pony, I'd still want some bacon on occasion.
All of my yes! And a moustache. Looking forward to chapter four!
"Also, I hate FimFiction's way of posting images into a story. For whatever reason, it wont let me put in my Magic Table as a url image. It just refuses to show up, and I can't upload it directly from my computer. So you'll have to make due with an external link-- hopefully that table with satiate some of your curiosity to how my magic works."
Might I suggest that if yu can go back to edit this chapter, you simply remove the "=Magic" bit from this: [url=Magic]? That might work.
But if it doesn't, if you know someone who doesn't have any problems in including images in their fics, ask them for help.
Just a suggestion.
2608175 Yea, already did, including my pre-readers. None of them were of any help. Every time I go to embed an image, it just shows a broken thumbnail to my readers, and no image at all
wicked cool
When uploading images onto Fimfiction, the [ img ] tag is used (without the spaces of course). The problem you're experaincing is most likely caused by the url you're using: http://songsaga.deviantart.com/art/Untitled2-372887271?ga_submit_new=10%253A1369107678&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1&ga_recent=1.
In order for the image tags to work properly, a "source" url must be used. "http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/140/3/a/untitled2_by_songsaga-d6609nr.png" is the source of the image you're trying to use. Notice the ".png" at the end. If the url doesn't have an image extention (.png, .jpeg, etc.), the image won't show up. In order to get the source url, right click on the image and click "view image", then copy/paste that url into the formatting.
"http://songsaga.deviantart.com/art/Untitled2-372887271?ga_submit_new=10%253A1369107678&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1&ga_recent=1"
becomes
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/140/3/a/untitled2_by_songsaga-d6609nr.png
which is
[ img ]http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/140/3/a/untitled2_by_songsaga-d6609nr.png[ /img ]
minus the spaces.
In addition, when linking, the format is [ url=www.example.com ]blah[ /url ] (again, minus the spaces) . The url comes after the equals sign, then a ], then whatever you want the link to say.
So "[url=Magic]http://songsaga.deviantart.com/art/Untitled2-372887271?ga_submit_new=10%253A1369107678&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1&ga_recent=1"
becomes
Magic
which is
[ url=http://songsaga.deviantart.com/art/Untitled2-372887271?ga_submit_new=10%253A1369107678&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1&ga_recent=1 ]Magic[ /url ]
minus the spaces.
Hope this helps.
I love it, and love it, and love it to pieces already. I like your Luna, your Twilight, and the concept of the Valkyrie.
2608595 Well, I'll be! Thank you kindly! That deserves a special thanks to you in the author's notes.
2608625 Why thanks! I want to keep Luna as the same playful Princess that enjoys a good prank, but at the same time I'm trying to temper her slightly after Celestia's more infinitely calm demeanor, seeing is how Luna is the ruler of Equestria and all.
This is all kind of new grounds for me, keeping the characters at least similar to canon Equestria, but at the same time, completely different to what we are used to. I'm waiting for a reader or two to cry, "OCC" and attempt to lynch me.
So much Rangers Apprentice in here, it is awesome
On a side note a great start to what is sure to be a great story
2608753 If there is a small bit of Eragon, it is unintended. I like showing off Twilight's power by having her do something really magical when I introduce her for the first time. In Valkyrie, its expanding her mind. In Unity, its her meditation ritual.
I was so afraid people would totally hate on my story for kind of following the "general plot" of Ranger's Apprentice, as it were. I've been pleasantly surprised that people are enjoying it all the same. Its not really a crossover, nor is it blatant copy-paste....
2608759 Heh, I'm working on making it awesome! Between keeping this and Unity as awesome as I possibly can, I've got my hands full. I'll try not to disappoint!
I like how you catagorized the different parts of the Equestrian military. Personally, my favourite part was the first line from 'Valkyrie'.
"If the Arcane Brigade brings feat to Equestria's enemies, the Valkyrie brings unbridled terror."
That single sentence portrays just what sort of power Twilight can learn to wield, and it brought chills down my spine
2608817 I was kind of hoping for that effect. Sure, the other branches of the military are powerful in their own way, but I wanted to portray that the Valkyrie (and Twilight) are in an entirely different league.
2608821
As if that terror thing wasn't enough, the "Records show that the Valkyrie stepping in has lead to victory" sentence just made it even better xP
You and this story are awesome keep up the good work.
It they keep eating all that meat, the plots will certainly thicken.
On a serious note i really like your militaristic equestria, it's not all fluffy and cuddly, but does not seem to be dark and gloomy either(so far).
There is one thing bothering me and it is Lunas sudden attraction to Twilight. I can imagine the purple powerhouse prodigy admiring herprincess, but an Alicorn falling just like that seems a bit weird.
All in all: good stuff and i really hope you will pull this all the way to the end.
Have you tried to use the "fc00.deviantart.com/whatever/whatever/whatever.png" type of URL, (the one that shows up when you open the "download" thing in a new tab? Because it needs to be a plain image file the link contains.
2608640 Well, I've kept my slapping hand strong so I'll help you out with people who want to lynch you. ^_~
2608802 I haven't the slightest idea what "Ranger's Apprentice" is. Could you share for the class?
Oh my god, Twilight is going to be a General!
2608515Well, that bites!
But it looks like xTSGx came to your rescue on this matter (and, all unknowingly, mine, as well. So it's all good now.
Sorry that I couldn't help. but at least someone else could.
2608595Many thanks from me, as well, for this tutorial (might I call it that?) on embedding images within a chapter. I plan on doing just that in some of my fics when I start uploading them here, and this will definitely help me with that.
Again, xTSGx, and thousand thank yous. You more than deserve the acknowledgment that Flicka gave you, my friend.
Good work
2609597
General Twilight Sparkle
Equestria Magic General
Focus: Magical weaponry
Unicorns are cheaper and trained as veterans
Cheaper Orbital Friendship Cannon superweapon
Stronger Mage Generators
Advanced Crystal Heart Defense Tower
Advanced Magical Shells upgrade for all tanks and artillery
More expensive Earth Pony soldiers
No Pegasi Air Force
One of the "Glowing Trio" of Generals.
The trio is also composed out of:
General "Pinpoint" Townes, USA Laser General
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120921135638/cnc/images/2/24/GenZH_Townes_Mugshot_1.png
The third member is General Tsing Shi Tao "The Nuke", China Nuke General
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120921133743/cnc/images/e/ee/GenZH_Tao_Mugshot.png
It is said that when this interdimensional trio is fighting side-by-side with their custom armies, the light shining from the battlefield will outshine the sun.
2608938 It's love, don't question it.
2609477 The Ranger's Apprentice is a serious of seven or eight chapter books detailing a young man named Will and his eventual acceptance into the Rangers, an elite force of archers who are the kingdom's main tactical force, in addition to the kingdom's "police". In Ranger's Apprentice, Rangers are archers capable of fading away into the background with the help of camouflage, and they are unrivaled archers, seldom missing their targets. There is a saying that goes something like this:
"Even one Ranger is too much for a dire issue. If two are involved, the entire kingdom must be about to fall."
If you've never read the books, I would recommend you do so. Not only are they a good read, but you'll understand how Valkyrie has elements of Ranger's Apprentice.