Canterlot Orphan Twilight Sparkle receives a surprise when Princess Luna offers to take Twilight as her personal protege. Under Luna's tutelage, a new Valkyrie is born.
Yeah, I’m going to have to re-read this myself! I don’t remember the where\when of the last part of this chapter. The first part is new, that much I remember
8479952 It may take a while before I read new chapters but I DO eventually read all the new chapters of followed stories. The stories that get weird or are weird take a little longer to get to BUT The good ones as soon as I can get to them.
8479958 Nope, I had a derp moment! I hadn't realized that the chapter 12 listed on the story had not been published yet; that chapter 12 was were I had started to publish what was in chapter 13 and then left it alone. I must have accidentally published both, which made the incomplete chapter twelve have the first few paragraphs of 13 and nothing else. Fixed now though, and instead of being on chapter 13 we're still on 12.
Personally I'd say that you did rather well. This was an enjoyable chapter to read. It's great to see things go so well with Vinyl, along with Applejack & Twins.
Plus it's always great to see one of those annoying types who are completely worthless, but act as if everyone should follow their orders, just because they are higher up in command.
Gunna have to re-read this sometime in the next week... Not to refresh my memory (I remember the salient bits) but for the pure enjoyment of it and to see what may have been edited/improved on since my last read-through.
I feel like I've read this chapter before... but this time it had a few more details in it.
Oh, and you have the word 'bastille' where I'm pretty damn sure you meant to put 'ballistae.' One being The Bastille and the other being plural for an artillery-sized crossbow.
also yeah im sure this chapter had all ready come out i swear i remember aj storming the fort tis that or im crossing wires with that twilight mass effect story with rex in it
8481549 Actually I'm gonna agree with him, I too remember this chapter with applejack crossing the wall, although the bit with Mac was new, and I've never read that other story he was talking about, if I'm thinking right you may have published an unfinished chapter in the past and deleted upon noticing, given you have some loyal and active fans they must have noticed immediately and read it before it was deleted
8483694 Quite possible, really. FimFic's chapter system is weird sometimes even for me, and I've been here since forever lol. So... sorry? If its any consolation Im about halfway done with the next chapter already, if you're wanting a completely new chapter.
Also, dont mention my loyal fans. I mean, they're great, they really are, but I still feel like I dont deserve them.
Well, I may have had to reread the entire story to get spun up on this again, but I'm very glad I did. This story is absolutely fantastic, and I'm glad to hear there's more coming.
As for nitpicks, I have two minor ones.
First, in this chapter, it seemed a little odd that Luna was forbidden from helping to patch up Vinyl. Even setting aside the fact that she's the monarch and can basically do what she wants, she should still be one of the most proficient healers in the country due to her age, experience, and raw power so that bit felt off. Granted it wouldn't have changed anything meaningful if she had used her magic, but you wanted feedback on this chapter so here it is.
Second, reading through the older chapters, I noticed a few tiny continuity errors which I unfortunately didn't write down. The only one I remember is that in chapter one (I think) you mentioned it being autumn, and then a chapter or two later (basically the next day in story) you mentioned it being summer. It wasn't a big deal, but it was still a bit odd so I figured I should mention it.
Now to go check to see if you updated anything else I missed.
8484974 Not yet on other updates for other stories. A day or two, maybe. Seriously, even now I have new chapters for Valkyrie, Unyielding, and the sequel to Knight in Dented Armor open in multiple tabs. I'm quite literally a multitasking machine right now.
8485560 Yeh... real life is a bitch, and I kind of lost my way for the longest time. I'm managing, though. I've got updates for several of my stuff planned for this weekend.
That said, I did notice you had some other stuff I haven't read yet even if there were no new updates, although that discussion doesn't belong in this story's comments so I have written a more useful comment over there.
Glad to see you are back. Also. Whenever I look at the picture. I thought that Twilight was going to turn into a Lich or something ever like that you know.
I recognise the Wargame bit. I could've sworn I read that back before the "Break" you had. I don't remember the first bit, however. Did you make a re-make of this chapter, adding the convo with Vinyl?
8493362 Pretty sure what happened was I started to work on this chapter while it was on FimFiction, then accidentally published that unfinished chapter without realizing I had done so, and then when I went back to work on that chapter it made everything screwy because it had already been published. Cuz I added another 1.5k words or so to this chapter before I was ready to get it out.
8494854 Yea I know. But there for the longest time I wasn't even lurking about on the site. I'd open the webpage on occasion, but then simply close out of it again. There's only one, maybe two stories I'd long in to check for updates for before logging back out.
I’m glad you are back. Hopefully everything is going good in your life... I’m not just saying that so you post more chapters because I know how sucky a stressful life can be. Hopefully writing these is stress relief for you...
Quick question, how much time has passed in this? Not sure why but it’s kinda hard for me to keep track of. Think it has been... 6 months? I know AJ said “several months” but that just shows how fast Twilight is learning her studies if she is already on a different branch of magic.
Anyway, I’ll be waiting for the next chapter. I can’t wait to see where this goes from here.
Man, there isn't anything I don't like about this story so far. Not only do I get another badass Twilight story to read but all of the Mane 6 get to be badass in their own way. For whatever reason I don't see a lot of that and I'm glad to see it here.
The fact that you can look back and see your improvement means that you will always be continually improving yourself. I look forward to more on this story.
This story updated and brought my back to this entire website! for some reason only this and 2 other stories were set for email updates out of my 100 plus favourites. Thank you so much for reminding me about all the great stories, foremost of them all this one!
Yeah, I’m going to have to re-read this myself! I don’t remember the where\when of the last part of this chapter. The first part is new, that much I remember
8479944 Sorry! I was convinced for a little while I didn't even have anyone following this one any more.
hold up, is this a rewrite of the previous chapter? The beginning is almost word for word....
8479952
It may take a while before I read new chapters but I DO eventually read all the new chapters of followed stories.
The stories that get weird or are weird take a little longer to get to BUT
The good ones as soon as I can get to them.
8479952
BULLSHIT! :P Why wouldn't we follow it?
8479958 Nope, I had a derp moment! I hadn't realized that the chapter 12 listed on the story had not been published yet; that chapter 12 was were I had started to publish what was in chapter 13 and then left it alone. I must have accidentally published both, which made the incomplete chapter twelve have the first few paragraphs of 13 and nothing else. Fixed now though, and instead of being on chapter 13 we're still on 12.
Damn Flicka! You did awesome!
When can i expect to see more?
Damnit. It seems half the people I took out life insurance on are coming back to life. The IRS is gonna BURY me in debt.
Personally I'd say that you did rather well. This was an enjoyable chapter to read. It's great to see things go so well with Vinyl, along with Applejack & Twins.
Plus it's always great to see one of those annoying types who are completely worthless, but act as if everyone should follow their orders, just because they are higher up in command.
Holy Shit, it fucking lives!
ubuntuimages.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/alive.jpg
Well, I'm back. Not sure, but I think I read this chapter before. Weird, but oh well. I like this story, and I like coming back to it.
FINALLY
Featured
Gunna have to re-read this sometime in the next week... Not to refresh my memory (I remember the salient bits) but for the pure enjoyment of it and to see what may have been edited/improved on since my last read-through.
Im glad its not dead
Well I'll be. Had to slap myself to make sure I was actually awake when I seen this had been updated.
I remember this story! Will you be staying for a bit?
me: oh look new chapter of something to read
sees which story it is
orig00.deviantart.net/ee16/f/2013/043/8/8/luna___le_gasp____by_bluesnowblast-d5uql4d.jpg
memegenerator.net/img/instances/22489608/its-alive-its-alive.jpg
now to reread the whole story
I feel like I've read this chapter before... but this time it had a few more details in it.
Oh, and you have the word 'bastille' where I'm pretty damn sure you meant to put 'ballistae.' One being The Bastille and the other being plural for an artillery-sized crossbow.
Just found this story and proceeded to read all of it! I love it can't wait for more chapters!
Now lets suit up
1. Let's.
Huh, I see you added a few extra details. Nice touch there, makes this chapter seem more... personal in a sense. Getting to know these ponies better.
8480000
Just cause it takes a long time to update does not Mean I'll stop following it. so long as it isn't cancelled I won't stop reading it.
Oooh, new chap... wait, what? Do my eyes deceive me? Nope! Welcome back
*sees new update*
oh noice m8
*Valkyrie Chapter 12*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
This story has always been one of my favorites. I love the narrarative and premise.
Keep on keeping on, you'll always have me as a reader.
8480680
high yeah see you next year for the next chapter
also yeah im sure this chapter had all ready come out i swear i remember aj storming the fort tis that or im crossing wires with that twilight mass effect story with rex in it
8481284
You might be crossing stories lol, I know this chapter had never been published. I had to finish it and do a quick editing pass lol
I feel like I won the lottery finding this fic when I did. I cannot wait to see what you have in store in the future. Keep it up!
8481549
Actually I'm gonna agree with him, I too remember this chapter with applejack crossing the wall, although the bit with Mac was new, and I've never read that other story he was talking about, if I'm thinking right you may have published an unfinished chapter in the past and deleted upon noticing, given you have some loyal and active fans they must have noticed immediately and read it before it was deleted
8483694
Quite possible, really. FimFic's chapter system is weird sometimes even for me, and I've been here since forever lol. So... sorry? If its any consolation Im about halfway done with the next chapter already, if you're wanting a completely new chapter.
Also, dont mention my loyal fans. I mean, they're great, they really are, but I still feel like I dont deserve them.
8483701
No need to be sorry, was just stating an observation, more then anything I'm just happy your back and writing this story again
And as for the fans of you didn't deserve them they wouldn't religiously follow you
not gonna lie, was pleasantly surprised when this showed up.
Well, I may have had to reread the entire story to get spun up on this again, but I'm very glad I did. This story is absolutely fantastic, and I'm glad to hear there's more coming.
As for nitpicks, I have two minor ones.
First, in this chapter, it seemed a little odd that Luna was forbidden from helping to patch up Vinyl. Even setting aside the fact that she's the monarch and can basically do what she wants, she should still be one of the most proficient healers in the country due to her age, experience, and raw power so that bit felt off. Granted it wouldn't have changed anything meaningful if she had used her magic, but you wanted feedback on this chapter so here it is.
Second, reading through the older chapters, I noticed a few tiny continuity errors which I unfortunately didn't write down. The only one I remember is that in chapter one (I think) you mentioned it being autumn, and then a chapter or two later (basically the next day in story) you mentioned it being summer. It wasn't a big deal, but it was still a bit odd so I figured I should mention it.
Now to go check to see if you updated anything else I missed.
8484974
Not yet on other updates for other stories. A day or two, maybe. Seriously, even now I have new chapters for Valkyrie, Unyielding, and the sequel to Knight in Dented Armor open in multiple tabs. I'm quite literally a multitasking machine right now.
God it's painful finally reading this story after what I find is a years hiatus...
8485560 Yeh... real life is a bitch, and I kind of lost my way for the longest time. I'm managing, though. I've got updates for several of my stuff planned for this weekend.
Loving it! Glad to see this story is still going.
8485401
Nice!
That said, I did notice you had some other stuff I haven't read yet even if there were no new updates, although that discussion doesn't belong in this story's comments so I have written a more useful comment over there.
Glad to see you are back. Also. Whenever I look at the picture. I thought that Twilight was going to turn into a Lich or something ever like that you know.
IT'S ALIVE
I recognise the Wargame bit. I could've sworn I read that back before the "Break" you had. I don't remember the first bit, however. Did you make a re-make of this chapter, adding the convo with Vinyl?
8493362 Pretty sure what happened was I started to work on this chapter while it was on FimFiction, then accidentally published that unfinished chapter without realizing I had done so, and then when I went back to work on that chapter it made everything screwy because it had already been published. Cuz I added another 1.5k words or so to this chapter before I was ready to get it out.
8494006
Would've been a very long time since you accidentally uploaded it accidentally, because it's well over a year ago.
8494854
Yea I know. But there for the longest time I wasn't even lurking about on the site. I'd open the webpage on occasion, but then simply close out of it again. There's only one, maybe two stories I'd long in to check for updates for before logging back out.
I’m glad you are back.
Hopefully everything is going good in your life... I’m not just saying that so you post more chapters because I know how sucky a stressful life can be.
Hopefully writing these is stress relief for you...
Quick question, how much time has passed in this? Not sure why but it’s kinda hard for me to keep track of. Think it has been... 6 months? I know AJ said “several months” but that just shows how fast Twilight is learning her studies if she is already on a different branch of magic.
Anyway, I’ll be waiting for the next chapter. I can’t wait to see where this goes from here.
Man, there isn't anything I don't like about this story so far. Not only do I get another badass Twilight story to read but all of the Mane 6 get to be badass in their own way. For whatever reason I don't see a lot of that and I'm glad to see it here.
The fact that you can look back and see your improvement means that you will always be continually improving yourself. I look forward to more on this story.
This story updated and brought my back to this entire website! for some reason only this and 2 other stories were set for email updates out of my 100 plus favourites. Thank you so much for reminding me about all the great stories, foremost of them all this one!