18 - Revelation is Clarification
A great crash sounded throughout the hivemind. It was followed promptly by another. One had been a cyan explosion, the other pink. No other ponies shared those hues in the place they had landed, which gave quick identification to who they were. That and only the new arrivals were sucked into the magical mind-space with such lack of grace.
Twilight would have been more careful with them if she was not already so utterly spent on getting back to where she was. In all honesty, she had not spent one microsecond considering the possible issues with dragging her two other friends into the realm. A more stable mind would have had her introducing her friends in a calm and orderly fashion one at a time. There was nothing calm or orderly about this, however. Only that Twilight was back under the willow, sighing as she settled back down.
Chrysalis and Fluttershy did not come back in like meteors but rather faded in smoothly beside their queen. Whether it was by the help of the alicorn, the hivemind, or themselves was left to the ironic imagination. Perhaps Twilight would give a muffin in a week or so. But now Fluttershy was too shaken up about what had just happened. She needed her purple friend's encouragement and reassurance for reasons she did not think clearly about.
Twilight's eyes opened again as her yellow friend dove in lightly for a hug, to which the other returned easily. Chrysalis was less direct but still settled down on the grass in such a manner as to lean up against her queen. Her face showed a ghost of the pain she felt in the real world and Twilight knew through their link that she was putting up a stronger face than she would otherwise due to certain other occupants of the hivemind.
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were not the only additions. Although Midnight Strike had been present in the first hivemind instance, Direway had not been. By some inverted humor – perhaps to the assumed blame of Princess Celestia or Luna – it was entirely likely that Direway would be far less troublesome to orient than either of the two non-initiated Elements of Harmony. Midnight Strike had given proof to the loyalty, competence, and stability of the Royal Guard when facing the impossible and the unreal.
Three new ponies each with their own minds, their own lives, their own hearts to share. It was not so simple or immediate, however. Twilight had been structuring the hivemind into something more firm in terms of appearance, experience, and logic. The three new ponies were not yet linked with her mentally even though they now existed in this space. They were mere strangers as they were now.
Twilight herself was, of course, not considering any of this because she just wanted to relax here in what was soon becoming her personal oasis away from the troubles of the real world. She would have to face these things nonetheless because the two guard ponies came up to her and her two female companions – they came from the opposite side that the two new Elements had crashed into.
“My queen,” Midnight Strike bowed down to his royal after approaching. Twilight looked to him with something akin to a lazy look. Some of her exhaustion had leaked over from the real world, but she felt tranquil for the most part. Direway had bowed as well beside his fellow guardpony, though the hivemind's master felt no direct connection with him to know what he was thinking. He appeared every bit the collected stallion that she knew from the real world.
“Lay down with us,” Twilight spoke almost in a whisper, as if she was taking a page from Fluttershy. It gave further testament to the serenity she was settling into. “You, Direway,” she regarded the other pegasus. “Come closer to me.”
That's when the stallion first looked unsure. His near-black purple mane shifted around him as he leaned in closer as ordered.
“Closer,” Twilight instructed still.
He did so with no more of a nervous look but with a bead of sweat coming down his face. It was very unusual for him to be in such a situation as he now was. Being so close to the mare's face was more intense an experience than fighting off an enraged hydra, though he had no idea exactly why.
Twilight smiled that warm smile of hers that was becoming more signature for her of late. Her face leaned in as well to tap her horn on Direway's forehead. The lightshow was far less dramatic this time as well as every other aspect of the event since Twilight was rapidly taking control of this new environment. This was not to say, however, that no spark or slight grimace was had.
Direway's life injected into Twilight's own mind like a fast-acting medication. What she saw and what she felt was so different from Midnight Strike's that every preconceived idea of guardponies being carbon copies of each other was acutely disintegrated then and there. Where Midnight's was a moonlit story of struggle and lost love, Direway's was a vivid portrait of action and surprising playfulness.
Images of training and battle raced through the alicorn queen's still restful mind, keeping a logical calm through the fierce imagery. But there were many instances of off-duty activity for the guard. There were other stallions he would play games with, joke around about stupid things with, and even spend entire leave times with. If one thing came through as prominent then it was that Direway was a very laid-back and social pony with the others that he grew comfortable with after his working hours were over.
When the connection was complete, Direway was kneeling before Twilight. His words were first and they were, “My queen.”
The purple pony didn't miss the ghost of a smile that Direway attempted to hide, first for his lack of success in concealing it and second for the fact that Twilight was hearing his thoughts. But Direway took a shot of a glance at Midnight Strike as well. The ghost expression flashed concern through the playful look. What went through his mind in that fractional second made Twilight cock her head.
“Dire,” the queen spoke with reservation. “Did you see Midnight's...?”
“He told me strange things when I came to in this place,” the stallion responded while regarding her again. He moved to back away from the close proximity he had with her but was forced to stay when she reached out a hoof to his shoulder. “But I see now what he meant. I've seen him as I've seen you. It worries me some to be honest. I hadn't realized-”
“It's okay,” Twilight assured. She had a connection with this stallion too, which meant she knew his thoughts as she did the others. Only, it did not work as some panacea to all questions. Perhaps more than anything, Twilight was in need to voice questions to give clarity to the mass of thought and information that was growing in her mind – her own part of this strange thing Chrysalis referred to as the hivemind. She wasn't of the proper experience to give focus to the swarm anyway.
“But-”
“Just listen and you will hear me without words,” the alicorn tried for that missing focus. In any case, Direway needed to settle down with her and her other companions because the next two ponies were incoming. In fact, it might be said that they were coming in hot. “Lay with me,” she had to say in spite of her attempt to use mere thought instead. The rainbow and pink blurs were almost upon her already.
The dark gray guard did as instructed without question or hesitation as was true to who he was. And no sooner had he settled beside a troubled Fluttershy did the more vibrant colored equines arrive.
“Oh my gosh!” seemed to be what Twilight heard from Pinkie Pie as the pony plowed into her but it might actually have been “what happened” or “this is fun” because her words were mushed together impossibly close. It was likely the three things all at once, which was unnecessary testament to her tendency to think and speak faster than any of her other friends without any positive implication to the quality of said activity. In other words, Pinkie was being her usual random and energetic self regardless of the circumstance. How very typical.
Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, was not at all herself. She carried over that frightened look she exhibited before being forced into sleep and, though she sped to Twilight as fast as Pinkie Pie, she did not approach her situation with the same aloofness. The realm she had been materialized in was not the same as the real world no matter how much it was shaping up to appear so. Her manifestation was then not a dumb duplicate of her physical self. It was a more pure and less masked version of herself, which may have been a better reason for her fright than the shock of what had just occurred.
Fluttershy closed her eyes firmly and opened them again to try and refresh them so that she would not appear so tearful. In spite of her ease of it, she did not at all take joy in crying or feeling horrible in any other way. Still, she knew something that was in Twilight's mind just as easily as her queen reciprocated the connection.
Queen Twilight Sparkle was apprehensive of connecting to these two. On the surface, it seemed ridiculous to even pretend that the alicorn would be less willing to grow her friendship with those that should have been closer to her than Chrysalis or the two guards. And yet there was that hesitation, more for one than the other. If it was not for the hivemind, Fluttershy would have gone on wondering this forever. But every passing day and every passing moment made everything clearer.
The exuberant pink pony was more a tiresome constant than some random hurricane. There was something to be said about Pinkie Pie being predictable in her lack of predictability. In any case, Twilight expected to find balloons and cupcakes inside the mare's deepest thoughts alongside those portions of her life she had already related over the course of their friendship.
It was Rainbow “Danger” Dash that really scared her. Yes, Fluttershy could feel a certain fear from her queen that she seldom felt before. It was more personal than some fear of getting a bad grade on a research paper or failing to fly properly and faceplanting in the grass. Chrysalis and the guards gave little indication to their own thoughts on this matter even though Fluttershy was sure they must have been sharing all of this at the same time.
As Pinkie Pie swung a circle around Twilight's neck and Rainbow Dash landed and trotted with dark eyes over to the sole queen, Fluttershy felt the fearful thoughts peak. The first was “she's angry.” The second was “she attacked Chrysalis.” The third was like an odd break from the others, being “she thinks I'm lame because I read books.” The forth was just a bit more disparate with “she won't like me.”
“It's just like when I go to sleep every full moon,” Pinkie chortled without a care in the world. All were wise to forget what implications such a statement held.
Having come into contact with Twilight so fully should have created that first connection, but Twilight was actually staving it off! Her attention was riveted on the rainbow mare stopping in front of her and the unintentional consortion that had formed around her. The blue pegasus was somewhere between anxious and afraid.
“Twi...light?” Rainbow began apprehensively. “What's...going on?”
It was almost painful to hear those words, so slow and uncharacteristic of the mare. The Element of Magic bit her lip when she finally collected herself for what was to come. A visible flash finally gave out from between the purple and pink ponies just before Laughter was going to move on to bother the others. Even her Pinkie Sense made some new combination as the light zapped between them.
Fluttershy felt something unprecedented flood through her mind to distract her from her growing obsession with Twilight. It was Pinkie's mind connecting to the queen's and shockwaving into her own. Thankfully, what was revealed was not much more than was to be expected. Although, some difficult to understand things were included, such as pie divided by zero and scattered rules on how to break physics. What was stranger than either of those, however, was Pinkie's silence upon completion of the connection. She slipped off of Twilight and just laid beside her limply without any indication in the hivemind as to why, as if something had just struck her deep. Very deep.
Not much time had elapsed but Rainbow Dash was not at all relieved by what was unfolding still. “Twi-?” was her interrupted emission before she was dragged forward by seemingly nothing. Her face came in close to Twilight's, which was drenched in the expression of one about to drink down a teaspoon of medicine without the faintest grain of sugar to accompany it. The alicorn well appeared as one fully expecting nothing but pain and suffering in return for the following act.
“Wh-” Rainbow tried once more to say something. It never came out because Twilight winced and tapped her horn down onto the athletic mare's forehead without another second to spare.
There really was becoming less reason to use words with so many things traversing seamlessly between minds. But words would very well play out after what was revealed here. Let it not be said that Twilight Sparkle was insensitive to the privacy of others to be connecting and sharing the most personal details of one's life to every other that began receiving the information and emotional attachments. She was quite aware of the non-consensual sharing and decided firmly to accept all the responsibility thereof.
The queen had been taking on the air of decisiveness that her growing position required and hence made Chrysalis proud to have made the previous decisions that she had. What Twilight was doing was some combination of risky action to enlarge and better understand the hivemind, improve the depth of her relationship with her friends, and all inevitable improvisation therein.
Fluttershy, being the shyest of them all, would have died at the mere idea that her life would be shared not only with multiple ponies but also two stallion guards. Yet somehow she didn't feel that fear. She felt an opposing peace, a tranquility that came from her queen's impossible care and love. Not some shallow love that was nothing but a quick-burning candle that ate its wick out in one night. That was so typical of the more modern conceptions of romance, removed from the most pure love that tied all sorts of relationships together throughout entire lives.
The mare of magic at the center of all these events gave her and all those now present a foundation of love like that of family and friends knowing and staying together their whole lives. Every additional and possible passion understood as “romance” could be realized should the desire awaken, as the idea waved in the distance like the dance of the Everfree leaves in autumn. For now, such remained in the backseat, so to speak.
But a second thing must not be said for this moment in which not one or two but three new minds connected. Twilight's provision of a deep peace and love to her companions did not entirely override the ferocity of Rainbow Dash's own mind. The connection was made and the greatest mental race yet was on.
Twilight grimaced at the intensity into which she was thrust within Rainbow's life. In Fluttershy's, she had seen unexpected abuse and things that had given weight to the mare's tendency to be introverted. Never in a million years could Twilight have predicted or been prepared for what she saw next. The memories were more vivid and immediate than any others she had encountered, exploding like aggressive fireworks with each example.
A small blue filly was standing there in the memory. It was Rainbow Dash who was looking at this filly, the memory being from her perspective, so the rainbow-maned foal could not have been her. But it looked so much like her. She looked to be in pain and was having difficulty breathing, which helped Twilight realize that this memory took place in a hospital. The Rainbow-look-alike was in an intensive care unit, encased within a sealed pod only used for infants in critical condition.
The foal stopped breathing.
The memory shot out from under her and gave way to a grassy hill, which made little sense in the context of Rainbow's early life. She should have been in the sky in Cloudsdale, not on the ground. But the hill had a gravestone upon it, which was the focus point for the still young Element of Loyalty. She wasn't crying but there was definitely something serious in her heart. That lone gravestone was small and obviously related to what had happened before. When Rainbow looked to her side, there was only one older stallion, her father.
They kept coming one after another, this one being a scene at school back in Cloudsdale. Rainbow was being bullied and handled it with a growing intensity. But it was that very intensity for which she was being bullied. The other young ponies were making fun of her for being too much like her father. They kept saying she was too "colt-ish" and was a scar on the “female race.” Rainbow didn't cry but just got riled up and called them out on every bluff and beat them at every challenge.
The scene snapped to something that was so many worlds apart that it seemed to portray a different pony altogether. It was Rainbow's room. She was still young and her walls were decked out with all the sports and early Wonderbolts posters to be expected there. But Rainbow herself was not interested in any of those things because she was playing with a doll on her bed. It was a small plush made to look like a foal far younger than herself.
She called it her daughter.
Rainbow was now older, a teen caught between the early and late stages of that section of life. She was in her room again but many things looked different. In fact, the air of the place seemed so removed that the last memory was like some black and white relic in comparison, viewed through the smoky glass of a dream.
Her father entered the room and asked why she wasn't getting ready for Fluttershy's birthday later that evening. He insisted that she should do so since they had become such good friends of late. However, Rainbow just sighed, shrugged, and said that she would be ready in short order. She was always good with getting things done in record time anyhow.
The weathered-looking stallion left and Rainbow slumped down across her bed. Her heart was heavy with melancholy for many reasons far apart from each other and yet still so close. She mumbled things to herself as if somepony else must have been in the room to hear her troubles even though there obviously was not.
“Everypony likes Fluttershy more,” she frowned. “They only tease her because they're jealous.”
The rest remained unspoken and was steeled in Rainbow's mind but, Twilight being privy to it, the remainder was made known anyways. Rainbow Dash was bullied since her earliest memories because her upbringing by her single father led her to be outwardly “colt-like.” But Fluttershy's shyness and timidity was cherished by the males and coveted by the females that saw such things as being a great compliment to her gender. Ah, the simple-mindedness and extreme naiveté of those youth.
The bullying to this yellow filly was then an attempt by the girls to ruin their otherwise perfectly-imagined rival for attention and an attempt by the boys to exert equally imagined dominance and thus garner attention to themselves from this prized pegasus. The result was, without saying, a complete and utter mess that accomplished nothing of what anypony wanted. So often did life lay itself out in such absurd tangles of tedious controversy.
What was of interest to this memory was what happened next. The young mare grabbed something that was kept under her bed and clutched it to her chest as she laid back onto her bed, alone. The thing in her hooves was the same doll from the earlier memory, now showing great age for such a thing and a few haphazard stitches to keep it together. It was to be expected from Twilight's point of view for the pegasus to have a lack of ability in sewing but the patchwork of the emergency threads was like a determined witness to give weight to how hard Rainbow had worked to keep the thing whole.
“Why can't I be like that?” she muttered and then looked down to the doll sadly. A few strands of red from her mane drooped down and she had to blow up at it to move it over. “Guess I should be strong for Fluttershy, huh?”
The question was directed at the lifeless doll, two button eyes showing little sign of input.
“She spent another night in the alley, you know,” Rainbow whispered. “Something really bad is going on. I just know it. She won't talk about it and I...don't think I have the guts to ask. She even put this birthday thing together herself at the park. I'm probably the only one going to be there.”
The silence, even being in a past memory, was simply painful. But Twilight did have a moment of realization to offset it. Fluttershy said that Rainbow didn't know about what had gone on in her past but this just indicated that the mare had picked up on it and just never pressed on the matter. The sporty female was usually so blunt and straightforward, which made her hesitation and timidity in this just more fuel for the hidden persona she was starting to exhibit. Which was the real Rainbow Dash? The one everypony knew as a hot-head athlete or the one clutching her plush foal and just wanting to be treated like a...well...like a girl.
The next memory came in a flash to break any further revelation that could have come with the last. Twilight had seen other memories so far but it had been these that stood out most. This next one was the final straw. In retrospect, it should have been the most boring and predictable for it was when Twilight Sparkle had first come to Ponyville – then just a regular old unicorn with an ambitious love of books.
There she was from a different perspective, getting plowed into the mud by the offender. It was a weird introduction for the blue pegasus, who had been so wrapped up in her aerial moves that she had not even known the pony was there let alone who the newcomer was. But the rest was history only distinguished by private details Twilight had obviously not been enlightened to. After introductions were over and before the then-annoying party that was later held by Pinkie Pie at the library, Rainbow spent her time mulling about back at her cloud home.
She was berating her reflection in a mirror for making herself look stupid in the introduction. It was so stark opposite of what Twilight would have imagined that it was jarring to her. Knowing the memories that came before were less so because Twilight could slip, without knowingly doing so, into the belief that the young one was some other pony. But seeing the older Rainbow Dash she did know made the facts undeniable. Or perhaps it was that she did not truly know the actual Rainbow Dash. That was what made this connection so different from the others.
Twilight had come to know the guards through the hivemind with little before that to interfere with her perception of them. Fluttershy was a pony she already knew and only came to understand why she was the way she was because of her past. But Rainbow Dash was on an entirely different level. Twilight just found out that this Rainbow Dash was somepony else entirely and the personality she knew as that Rainbow Dash was merely an outward face that she had fallen into for so long that it was seemingly all she could be around other ponies. Whether it all began with her single father's upbringing, some splinter from the divorce, or something else entirely was less relevant than the fact that it simply was.
A final memory shot out from the others as a trumpeting exclamation point on all of this and a closing herald to bring both mare's attentions back under the willow in the hivemind. It was winter and the snow was falling heavily. The sky was dark even though it was still early enough in the evening for the sun to have been out if only it was not for the complete cloud cover. The date put this moment as Twilight's second winter that she had lived in Ponyville.
Rainbow Dash was flying in the serene weather. Yes, it was snowing hard, but it was not by some raging wind. The snowflakes were actually drifting down quite lazily, which made “hard” more a descriptor of the sheer volume of the flakes themselves. The ground was already thick with snow and the sky gave no indication of letting up. Still Rainbow flew until she reached the window of one very familiar library.
Her heart, being that of the Element of Loyalty's, was as heavy as the snow two-fold over. That was the day, otherwise indistinct to all others, that she admitted a variety of things to herself. She at last believed in her own heart that she would never be the mare she had wanted to be as a filly. She would never be the gentle and kind motherly figure she dreamed of. She would never have a stallion to care for her – an impossibility proven by her own father's lack of love to the pony that had once been her mother. To her, she had no knowledge of true love really existing in this world.
But if there was to be a cap on any of this grim bleakness then it was to be her relent into one final belief. If there was one pony in the world that she could still dare to dream to be loved by so truly and purely then it would be the one she looked at secretly through the frost-covered window. The light coming therefrom was dim and of a ghostly orange. It flickered because it was being cast from the candle on a desk within the tree home, likely lit early for the lack of natural illumination emitting from the outside realm. There was a purple pony at that desk, reading some book on Celestia knows what.
What had brought on these feelings that raced with solemn weight in Rainbow's memory? Was it something the unicorn had said? The way she had treated Rainbow? The way she occasionally shown forth this openness that made one believe that acceptance could really and truly be had? It was the shy belief that, one day, the mare of many colors could be just who she wanted to be with the unicorn sans who everypony believed she certainly must be. No judgment. No criticism. No fighting, arguing, or defending. Just a hug, a kiss, and three words that gave her a reason to live. A reason to breathe.
Twilight's vision returned to her place beneath the tree.
Rainbow's face was pale.
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Poor Rainbow...
Twilight's here. She'll take care of you now...
Oh.
Oh...
Wow. That wham line.
You've triggered my Twidash Flag. Instant Top Ten Favorite stories. (It was sitting in Top Twenty before, though)
I think this chapter as a whole is one of the best in the story yet. The analysis of Rainbow Dash's character is both insightful and meaningful, not to mention the sheer number of Feels it dropped.
So, Rainbow likes Twilight. Flash Sentry likes Twilight. Twilight likes...? Love triangle inbound!
It'll be interesting to see how the new additions fit into the Hive. The guards are used to order and a clear chain of command, so they clearly adapted well. Fluttershy, needy, lacking much self-worth, fit in fairly well, with Twilight's unconditional acceptance and caring. Pinkie and Rainbow though...one is a reality-defying eternal child with hints of abandonment issues in canon alone, and the other is a little ball of problems, including what looks like a brand of inferiority complex, and possibly fear of being alone (but not abandonment issues).
And (I'm assuming) we still have more characters to add. And considering this is Ponyville, each one will have their own phobias and neuroses to deal with.
Everyone, meet Twilight Sparkle: Princess, Element of Magic, Hive Queen, and impromptu psychiatrist.
Have to agree with most everything Maneteam6 commented on (although I'm more "meh" when it comes to Twidash). VERY interested to learn the reasons behind Pinkie's rather... subdued demeanor upon joining the hivemind; guessing there's a lot more to it than Twi realizes at this point.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Oh one last thing, maybe it's just because I read this in the wee hours of the morning before my brain was awake, but this chapter seemed a tad more... verbose than previous entries.
Wasn't spike part of the hivemind?
I chould have sworn he was.
Well writen. Update on a set basis pleaz, and make dash happy with who she is.
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To RC:
I do update according to the schedule included in the description. Official: 20-25 days. Average: 11 days (may have changed a bit since I haven't run the latest numbers). This is as much as I can promise because it takes a lot of time to draft, edit, proofread, blah blah blah. I also have a living Tartarus of a situation IRL, so you must understand that I do not have every waking hour to dedicate to writing this. That, along with the healthy amount of people that send judgement and hate my way gives me sufficient reason to cut everything wholesale and just jump off a cliff. I hope you continue to enjoy the story.
To those that like this story and DON'T consider it their holy duty to "correct my erroneous ways":
Thank you. You give me hope that life is worth living.
In spite of the harshness of reality, I like to write happy endings. I feel it's a tasteful offset to the depressing hole I live in. Dashie WILL get a happy ending.
Did I just read an attempt suicidal rainbow dash thought. Or what was this your hivemind scenario stuff REALLY throws a monkey wrench into the perspective. Is the current rainbow pale or was that rainbows memory self looking in a mirror. also is rainbow aware twilight is seeing this oh I'm so confused no sleep doesn't help comprehention.
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I do intentionally write a little vagueness in certain parts because that is precisely what the characters feel. Actually, it's only because Twilight's an "egghead" that she hasn't been lost in the confusions of the hivemind altogether. (Her logical mind works very hard to make sense of it all.) For a pony queen, she deserves a little credit. Having said that, the next chapter will continue with some clarification. (Can't be vague forever - especially with Twilight.)
3996352. That make a bit more sense. But like I said was rd aware twilight saw her memories(like.does she know which ones or just the idea she's seeing her memories) and which rainbow was pale memory dash or rainbow present?
I love the last scene! And it really sets up more for the story. For all there is about RD, I wonder more about what is going on with pinkie. Her sudden silence as her mind expanded in a universe outside of physics... is terrifying.
Now she is in a realm where physics are controlled by thought. She has an inside viewpoint into how the universe works with her mindlink.
Kiss sanity goodbye little brain. Its going to go sleepy now and wake up in heaven. No tears, only happy thoughts.
Can I just say I love this story? And what happens when applejack ... jacks into the mind link? Oh the possabilities!
Wait... Dash in love with twi? Twi knowing how to beak physics and how Pinkie works? This, this was the chapter I've been waiting on since Dash wanting to be a mother scene!
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Then stay tuned because the accelerator is stuck to the floor and the brakes just flew off.
4002808 just what I've wanted :-)
The lesbian love interest here seems forced; there's no particular connection I can deduce between Dash's unfortunate family history and a non-standard romantic desire, since both her parents were pretty unloving and irrational. Asexuality I could see.
And, since lesbianism wedged into a story it doesn't really belong in is one of my top three peeves, not sure I'll keep reading.
Are dragons unable to go into a Hivemind?
4994446 Why would there be a connection?
5481029 … because the context is a) that Dash's sexuality has some standard psychological reason for it and b) various stuff about her parents and upbringing?
Everybody loves Twilight!
Normally I don't like serious, "Everyone loves 'blank'" stories, but this......... this is so phenomenally well done!
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It is well done.
Wham-o!
That's gonna be awkward.
It's really intriguing to me how Rainbow Dash in this story is so heavily trans coded. I fucking love it, thank you