9 - Yellow is Warm
Dear Princess Celestia,
There are many things that I wish to write to you about but I find myself short on time. I regret that I cannot go into further detail at this time but I find it imperative to bring to your attention that King Sombra, former dictator of the Crystal Empire, might not have been vanquished as we had originally concluded. I will be investigating this matter to the fullest of my abilities as soon as possible. I currently find myself overwhelmed with this and other urgent matters and will write a more sensible letter as soon as I can. My deepest apologies.
Your faithful student I will always consider myself,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
The princess of the sun finished reading the letter and turned it over just in case anything had been written on the back. Twilight would occasionally do so on account of running out of room. Some of her letters did seem to go on, so it was a bit of irony that this one that was so serious was also so short.
Celestia sighed.
“Something the matter, sister?” came the voice of the lunar princess.
They were both in the elder sister's ornate bedroom, the white one on her bed reading the letter and the dark one sifting through her sibling's assortment of clothes. Celestia didn't ask about it.
“Just another day in Equestria I'm afraid,” the elder alicorn replied tiredly.
Luna giggled. “I know. It's such a burden, right?”
Celestia set down the letter and looked straight at her younger sister who was still rummaging through clothing drawers. “Modern speech now is it?” she remarked, impressed.
“I do try,” the mare of night grinned and began climbing into one of the largest of the drawers. Apparently she thought that pulling out the items with her magic would not be acceptable. Even though she had done so with everything else. Celestia didn't mind and couldn't help but crack a smile when her smaller sibling fell face first into the enormous drawer.
One starry tail and two flanks wiggled over the edge, her hips having been caught on the lip. Some kind of muffled sound came from the sliding container. Luna faceplanted. It was just the kind of thing that she would do when nopony but her own sister was around. Alone with each other, they never had to worry about appearances.
Feeling the need to cool off after receiving a bit of bad news, Celestia did the only thing that she could. She rushed off a quick magical note, hopped off her bed, walked over to the drawer that had two moon cutie marks hanging out of it, and playfully pushed her sister the rest of the way in.
A muffled “gah” and several garments churning out of the burgundy compartment was the result.
“We're different sizes, Luna,” the elder commented as she leaned over the lip and hung her front hooves over it. “I'm afraid you've got to get your own clothing rather than borrow it from me.”
“I thought you had some serious matter to take care of!” Luna pouted as she turned over in the pile of clothes, two forehooves curled over her belly and star-filled mane scattered beneath her.
“Already taken care of,” Celestia countered effortlessly. “I'll intervene if suspicion turns to fact.”
“Oh” and “fast” were all Luna remarked in reply.
“Now,” Celestia smirked evilly in the way that only Luna had ever seen. “tell me what it is you were looking for.”
Luna blushed and averted her eyes. “No,” she half-mumbled and half-whispered as she puffed up her cheeks.
The sun-raising alicorn didn't lose her mischievous look. “I think I already know...but you will still tell me.”
Luna got worried. The feeling was completely justified.
Celestia pushed herself forward enough to reach her sister in the deep drawer and extended her hooves to the other's sides. Knowing what was coming, Luna tried to squirm away but failed when she got caught in one of the more elaborate garments that had come unfolded due to the invading pony. Celestia found the special spot on each side of her sister right between the belly and folded wings. She began tickling. Mercilessly.
“No!” Luna cried out trying to sound serious but ending up laughing it out in a manner that was anything but. “Tia, no!”
Coincidentally, it turned out to be a rather good day for the two princesses.
Purple bangs lifted and fell according to the mare's stride. The two highlights that ran through her locks seemed unusually bright but then the morning was growing old and the sun was in good health. It was just the kind of day that Fluttershy would enjoy going on a picnic with her animal friends. Fluttershy...
That mare was first on Princess Twilight Sparkle's mind. Oh, she had other matters for sure such as what to do with the Sombra affair, Chrysalis, Midnight Strike, and all that entailed. But one butter-yellow element of harmony wound up as item number one. Why? Because the link they had shared last night within the hivemind had revealed something to the alicorn that she hadn't known before. Something she had never even expected and felt weighing on her heart like a boulder ten times the size of Tom.
She tried using her wings to flap upwards and fly, thinking it would be faster. But, alas, she had not seemed to have enough instruction from the mare of rainbow. One of her wings cramped and she ended up coming back down almost painfully. Still she continued on hoof.
The princess did not go through Ponyville completely unnoticed. Some ponies that were about could not help noticing the newly appointed royal rushing through the streets. Especially so because of two guard ponies that respectfully managed to keep her in sight. One large red stallion even paused in his shopping errand to glimpse the sight.
As Twilight finished the path through town and began towards the shy mare's cottage, another element of harmony noticed her. If it had been Pinkie Pie then the world might have ended right then and there. But, thankfully, it was a far more tactful pony. With a stylistic swish of her purple mane that screamed fashionista, Rarity blinked twice at her rushing friend.
As the unicorn was actually on a different road that was separated from the other via stream, she made no attempt to hail her royal friend. Although the idea had passed her mind on account of the imagined prestige that came with calling out a princess one knew as a personal friend. Predictably, that very same idea was immediately replaced by one involving the fact that Twilight was running and building up a sweat. Only one conclusion could be had by the white-coated mare.
Ew.
Still Twilight ran on until she reached the door of the familiar cottage. Huffing and wondering why she hadn't yet built up enough physical stamina to handle the exertion, Twilight knocked heartily on the door. You'd think, she thought tiredly, I'd be used to this by now.
No answer prompted a second knock on the door.
Then a third.
Something was wrong and the alicorn had a good guess as to what. Knowing it would likely be okay with the pegasus of kindness, Twilight opened the unlocked door and entered. She discovered various animals huddled in a circle in the middle of the living room, seemingly in serious discussion. No Fluttershy was in sight.
One squirrel chattered something that sounded worried while a hummingbird chirped in a light octave. The presence of the alicorn startled them all but they also knew Twilight and thus did not scatter. In fact, the squirrel even scurried over to the pony and tugged at a leg while saying something. The princess didn't need to understand the animal's language to get the hint. Fluttershy probably hadn't gotten up yet even though it was late morning. That was very unusual of her.
With a second wind, Twilight ascended the stairs to her friend's bedroom. Careful not to fling herself too quickly through the door, she opened it without a creak. This was, after all, Fluttershy she was dealing with and it was quite easy to startle her.
The mare in question was indeed still in the sleeping ring, though not asleep. No tears were on her face. In fact, her face seemed rather dead and she didn't even look over to the pony that had just entered her room. She appeared in all ways to be lost in thought with an expression somewhere between neutral and depressed. The air of the room certainly felt that way.
Fluttershy was one to stay calm and cheerful in many dire circumstances. She could stand up to a dragon when pushed to it. She even turned Discord around for Celestia's sake. Literally. So whatever was affecting her in this moment must have been pretty serious. In fact, Twilight knew just how serious it was. The pink-maned mare had remembered many things from her past that haunted her. Seeing Twilight's past at the same time just made it more complicated.
“Fluttershy,” Twilight called out just loud enough to be heard as she walked to the ring and stepped into it.
No response.
The purple princess knelt down to lay next to her friend the way she had in the hivemind. Only, this time it was real as she extended a wing over the other. The cramp from earlier had thankfully not stayed with her.
Something shifted in the air and Fluttershy leaned into Twilight without a word. The silent mood felt not unlike a sad melody, as if somepony were playing one key after another on a piano merely to instill the feeling of loss. That was something Fluttershy had experienced and it was compounded by many other pains she had endured throughout her life. All of it had flashed through Twilight's mind, including the way Fluttershy had bottled it up and not talked about it to anypony. She told herself that she was past it and had to move on with life but it still had an effect on her.
Eventually the deadened pegasus spoke in whispers. Her voice sounded gravely and strangled. “I can't take it...hold me...tell me somepony cares...”
Twilight furrowed her brows as her heart clenched. Much of what Fluttershy had remembered was a broken home and nopony to make things better. Things that hurt more than anything ever should. Twilight had remembered things from her own past that were similar but on a minuscule level. She thus felt despicably guilty because her life had far fewer pains than Fluttershy's and all of a much shallower degree.
They said in those fancy psychology books how a pony's personality was formed early on in foalhood. Some argued it was even genetic. But the ones with the most scientific support claimed early foalhood environment and parenting as the primary influences in making a pony who they were. Regardless, books made poor shoulders to cry on when things didn't go well. Twilight had found that out herself.
“I am holding you,” Twilight whispered back as she put a forehoof around the other's shoulder and nuzzled her. “And I do care.”
Fluttershy shuddered but did not speak nor cry.
“I've already told you. I may be no Applejack but I didn't lie,” Twilight tried to be a bit more light-hearted. She knew it was pointless, though. Fluttershy was hurt deep. Scars ten years and older did not heal like fresh wounds might, assuming they could ever be erased.
Perhaps that was why Fluttershy was not crying even though Twilight could feel the stress pulsating in waves from the ground-preferring pegasus. Only breathing was heard in the room until the princess spoke again, deciding she would do the talking for her companion.
“I said I was a part of the problem,” she sighed, admittedly not wanting to say it. “It's because I was turning my back on you when I knew something was wrong. Maybe not recently but definitely after I first met you. I could tell there was something going on but I ignored it because I thought then that everypony should deal with their own problems. Or maybe you were just shy and that was all. I thought that even as I was learning about friendship and writing to the princess about it. It was scary just how blatantly hypocritical that was – almost like I was living a double life.”
“You've never been part of a problem, Twilight,” Fluttershy broke in quietly. “You're not hypocritical. You've always tried to find answers and help everypony...”
Twilight didn't reply quickly but was silent until she had really taken it in. “The end result was still horrible for you. It doesn't matter how somepony puts it if the end result is still bad,” she concluded. “Reason that not helping an orphaned foal on the street results in the foal growing up learning to survive on their own and be responsible for themselves. But no matter how well you try to prove the concept, the end result is still turning your back on an orphaned foal that can't take care of herself.”
Fluttershy flinched.
“How much does Rainbow Dash know?” The question was more of a point than any search for knowledge. Twilight knew the answer but still needed to hear it.
The yellow mare turned into her friend and grabbed her with her hooves, nuzzling her head into the other's coat. “Nothing,” came her broken reply. “I kept it a secret. She was my first friend and I didn't want to lose her.”
Twilight's heart clenched again. All of this time and throughout most of her life, Fluttershy had been alone. In her past she had been abused, abandoned, amongst others and still alone.
“Fluttershy,” Twilight croaked as she hugged the mare. She wanted to say something but somehow all of the words in the world meant nothing now.
Click.
Clack.
Neither pony looked but a few of the animals had gathered outside of the bedroom door, peering in with worried looks. They would enter and try cheering up their pony friend as they sometimes did except for the fact that they understood something was different. Thus they kept a respectful distance and hoped that the purple pony could cheer up the pegasus instead.
Those psychology books would sometimes say that a pony interacted with others using a set of rules formed in the early stages of life. Some ponies became good at interacting with other ponies of specific personality types based on the kind of ponies the parents were. That was what laid the foundation of the mysterious “click” event that happened when friends were made. If that was true then perhaps it made sense that Fluttershy got her cutie mark in conversing with animals rather than ponies. Few animals had ever done anything to hurt the yellow mare. The same could not be said of other ponies.
“Please...” Fluttershy begged softly without voicing the rest.
Twilight pressed her lips together in concentration before answering. “You can be just who you are with me, Fluttershy. I'll never ask you to be somepony else.”
That seemed to have an effect because the pegasus relaxed in her friend's grip and finally started to show some expression again. It was hopeful expression.
“I can't change your past,” Twilight continued, regretful of stated fact. “But I can make sure you don't relive it. And I can make sure you're never alone like this again.”
“Why?” came that faint voice again.
“Hm?” Twilight returned, not understanding.
Fluttershy nodded her head back and forth against the purple coat. “Why do you keep doing these things? Why do you care so much about me?”
It made sense for her to ask. Twilight knew now that Fluttershy had been scarred with a foalhood where nopony truly cared about her. Not even her only parent. If that pony could even be called that in the first place. But Twilight was not so quick in knowing the answer to the question. Maybe it had something to do with the hivemind thing that Chrysalis had tossed her into. Twilight didn't want to be so prideful to say that it was all from the natural goodness of her heart – that she was just a perfect pony.
“I...” Twilight started to say. Did she really want to say it? Did she even know what it was? She was confused in that moment. The world was coming down on her because she knew she had to say it but she also knew what would happen if she did. There was no way she could ever hurt Fluttershy with a misunderstanding and she felt that was where this would all inevitably go. But what was she to do about it? There was no getting around that word. That blasted four letter word that made the world go round.
Lightbulbs may have often been used as an analogy for a moment of realization but it was not without good reason. The imagery was just so fitting for, in that moment, Twilight experienced that very thing. Simple stuff but then hindsight was twenty-twenty according to an old saying. Perhaps it would be more explanatory to say that, rather than a lightbulb, it was more of a jigsaw moment where all of the pieces meshed together properly at once.
“I want you to be able to rest with me. Forget the pain and be at peace when I hold you. Give you the love you've always wanted and needed. Be special to you,” Twilight smiled as she looked down and met Fluttershy's eyes. “I want to be your Queen.”
“Q-Queen...?” the mare stuttered slowly, grasping for comprehension.
Twilight nodded, not helping but to notice the warmth coming from her friend's coat and feathers. It was rather nice. “Chrysalis has done a few things that are a little hard to explain. But let's just say that I'm willing to see things a bit differently now. I want to be here for you, Fluttershy. I want to be whatever you need me to be. So can I be...?”
Fluttershy kept looking into Twilight's eyes, starting to fall into their depth. She said something but it was too mumbled for Twilight to make heads or tails of it even though they were so close they were almost bumping noses.
“What was that?” Twilight whispered with just a hint of playfulness, suspecting what it was.
Another mumbled sound came from the shy mare and her eyes drifted away as if she couldn't keep looking at Twilight.
“I couldn't hear you,” the princess restrained a chuckle.
Fluttershy's eyes closed in concentration and determination. “Yes!” she lunged further into her best-friend-turned-princess-and-now-queen. Twilight became unbalanced and fell back with the yellow pegasus atop her, nuzzling her neck happily.
But the alicorn couldn't even respond before the mare, now fully recovered from her despair, began gleefully saying one thing after another. “Thank you! Thank you, Twilight! Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for caring. Thank you for not looking down on me or judging me. Thank you for being you!”
Twilight couldn't help but blush. For many other ponies, what she had done was hardly deserving of such praise. But for one mare with butterflies for a cutie mark, it was something nopony else had ever done for her. For somepony that never truly felt accepted or loved by somepony close, it was the world and more.
Rainbow Dash pounded her head into her plush purple pillow. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”
Much of the morning had gone this way. She couldn't get over what had happened with Twilight the previous day. Or rather, she couldn't get over how she had acted. She had made a slip. Multiple slips! What if Twilight found out that she wasn't really some tough-as-a-dragon no-frou-frou pegasus?
What if Twilight found out that she secretly...
Rainbow's eyes bolted open for the hundredth time in the last several hours. “Gah! I'm finished! Nopony wants to be a fan of...of...”
Her two blue forehooves hugged herself tightly. She had always been zealous in keeping up her public image and was super-sensitive to how others viewed her. It inevitably became an issue over time that some of the things she wanted, indeed some of the things she was, were too stark a contrast to her public image and had to be kept a carefully guarded secret. A royal-guard-protected and Pinkie-Pie-proof carefully guarded secret.
The pegasus rolled off of her bed and onto the floor of her cloud home. She was lost in thought. Coming off as too soft was one thing. But what if it lead to somepony finding out about that? Her deepest, darkest, and most non-public-image-Rainbow-Dash desire.
“No!” she shouted angrily to herself. “Don't even think it!”
She knew she had to get outside and into the swing of athletic cloud-busting or else she would start thinking about that and have another of her super-secret giddy “what-if” fits. So, with a somersault off the floor and towards the door, Rainbow Dash steeled herself against all thoughts that made her heart patter and her mood go soft.
Rushing out of her home in a flying frenzy, she took a deep breath of morning air. “Ahhh!” she breathed out. “Fresh air does a pony good!”
Beating her wings faster to warm up, she started towards Ponyville Square. Perhaps there would be some weather work to do. But it was really a false hope because she knew how things would be. She was sometimes regarded as a slacker but she was actually quite up to speed with her job and knew each item on the week's weather schedule. Today's items were sparse at best. Maneuver a few clouds and make sure that no dark ones drifted over from the scheduled rain in a nearby town. But the chance of that happening was pretty much zip.
Blue wings and a rainbow tail glided their way over the familiar town below. The late morning air was as crisp as ever, the sun shining but not glaring, and a small breeze drifted along as if to suggest that Equestria was content with the day being lazy.
Rainbow Dash sighed as she looked one way and then another from her position above the Earth ponies below. It seemed the other pegasi, perhaps Flitter and Cloudchaser, had already taken care of the day's work. No surprise there. Plenty of pegasi were like Rainbow in the fact that a few menial weather jobs were a go-to solution for general boredom. Except for Thunderlane. He liked to work out and keep fit in every way except keeping the weather in check.
Another look to the town below failed to yield sight of one pinkish-purple maned orange filly. Of course not. Rainbow Dash would have a few words for the young one if she caught her skipping school in the middle of the week. A few words...
The Element of Loyalty bit her lip. Why did she think of Scootaloo like that so quickly? It wasn't just because the filly idolized her, right? Was it because the two had started sharing time together almost as if they were sisters?
Rainbow's eyes fell down in defeat. She wasn't getting away from these thoughts. Not on a day without any work. Not on a day where the thoughts in her head wouldn't let her take one of her twelve hour “naps” on one of AJ's trees. She was starting to feel a little guilty. Almost as if she was using Scootaloo as an out for something she didn't want to share with anypony lest her image be destroyed.
“Nopony would think I'm all that awesome if they knew I really liked kids,” she mumbled in a give-up tone of voice. “I guess being a mom is just not considered cool.”
She sighed one more time before flapping away slowly in no particular direction.
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So...Fluttershy's big secret is that she was orphaned? Am I missing something here?
Poor Fluttershy , Twilight give her two hugs for me!
Aww, Chry Chry's sleep rings will make that frown go all upside down, especially with the new queen in town.
3396280
Not orphaned so much as abused and abandoned, from what I got out of it. Tossed aside and left to fend for herself with nopony to care for her. That sounds pretty traumatizing to me.
Very interesting reveal in Fluttershy's past. I approve!
Rainbow Milf
3396571
I thought she was taken advantage of as a child, by the way Twilight was acting, up until the real problem was stated :/
3396363
That. Kinda rhymed. Nice.
3398941 Why thank you, Tried pulling a pinkie/ Zecora.
But in all seriousness I believe that Rainbow Dash will feel much better after a trip to the sleep ring and joining with Twilight.
PS: still love this story.
3397128 Oh god, I have to laugh at that so much!
And yeah, RD, you really need a reality check. You really think someone can't be motherly and still badass? Well here's just one example to prove you wrong:
Are you freaking kidding me?! Being a good parent is a massive multiplier for badass! No, not multiplicative; friggin' exponential!
Rainbow Dash mommy just sounds damn cool!
... uh isn't that like, actually totally awesome and friggin sweet?! I'd put that in the first chapter of my book of totes awesome things!
What a silly pony.
3400979 Just look at LuminoZero's stories about mommy dash.
4448437, I think Dashie is thinking of mom in the context of wanting to be a mama Shy. Swoop down and snuggle and coddle you like Twi is doing with Shy.
AWWWW!!!!
3cute5me!!! I have contracted Diabetus! Meh blood is so sugary it's turned into maple syrup!
I can only quote Fluttershy here. "You rock, Rainbow Dash! Woo-hoo!"
3400714 Lol I can just imagine Scoots cornered by Timberwolves.
*rar!* *growl!*
*RD comes in with, like, a war blimp.*
*Timberwolves don't move because they are bitches as in female dogs*
4448437 #Whosasillyponyyou'reasillyponywhoisyouisrainbowdash!!!
I like how none of these comments talk about how Luna was panty raiding celestia.
So...
is a fillyfooler?
hm.
4973312
I interpreted the insinuation more as she wanted children, and 'mom's' aren't cool.
awesome seeing the sisters be sisters.
Wow... this story went from interesting and entertaining to holy crap on a rainbow cutesy cracker, and I have only gotten to the Fluttershy point of the story!! If I could rate this on a 1 to 10 scale it was about a 4 until this point and it just launched to a 9.
Time to read more.
Rainbow Mom, yah that has Aliens Ripley written all over it!
Either way if Rainbow joins the "Pony hive mind" the cat will be out of the bag. Can't wait to see what happens.
Dash apparently never had to confront an incensed mother.
What's Fluttershy hiding? Unless I missed something. Also Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo are cute together as a family.
My heart is starting to die... someone tell me what's going on.
Also, separated by a certain wall though we might be, I care for you, Fluttershy, and I'm sure a whole lot of other people do, too.
...
Love
You'd be suprised, Rainbow, you'd be suprised.
From what I can tell Fluttershy feels abandoned by her parents, most likely because she was and based on that last line and Dash either was or will be a Mom. For Dash, I think the latter is more likely since her hormones seem to be acting up.