Twilight sighed. She'd escaped from her friends due to them bringing up... Their romantic adventures and experiences. Particularly the naughty bits. Things she had no experience with.

Twilight: "I think my problem is that I just don't have any first hoof experience. Hmmm... I know!"

Shepherd the human was enjoying a day off... When Twilight teleported in above him

Twilight: "SHEPHERD!"

Shepherd: "Oh, hello Twilight."

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Back in the human archives, Shepherd is once again going around and checking vaults. Twilight Sparkle is trotting alongside him.

Twilight: "Okay... So that ghost was a bit troublesome. But that doesn't mean every human artifact is going to be trouble! That's statistically improbable!"

Shepherd: "I don't know why, but being human might just throw it all off."

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After Twilight and Shepherd get their heartbeats to a normal rate...

Pinkie: "So wait, ponies and humans have mixed DNA? Hmmm! I guess that might explain why we went from this," suddenly resembles a G1 pony, "to this!" Resembles a G3 Pony "And finally this!" Back to normal!

Shepherd: "For the love of God, NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. EVER."

Pinkie: "Sorry!"

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Twilight: "Oh my! A letter from Princess Celestia?! What could it be?"

Letter: "Dear Twilight Sparkle, you should be more aggressive with Shepherd. Here is what you need to do..."

Shepherd goes back to his home after the cake heist. He sighs as he heads into the living room.

Shepherd: "Geez... I got played by Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash! That's like Spock getting outwitted by a tribble."

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Shepherd is held in chains in front of Celestia in an Equestrian court.

Celestia: "Andrew Shepherd! You stand accused of breaking hearts and leading on many needy mares!"

Shepherd: "Wha-That's a crime?!"

Celestia: "IT IS NOW!"

Luna: "HEAR HEAR!"

Fluttershy: "YEAH! I-I mean, um... yeah!"

Applejack: "Ya man whore!"

Dash: "Oblivious stallion!"

Celestia: "I find you... Guilty on all charges!"

Pinkie: The lawyer "I can't believe we lost!"

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Shepherd is aroused in the middle of the night by loud talking outside his window. He slowly goes to the window, and groans. He opens it, and glares at Lyra, who is standing outside his house in a suit while a film crew records her.

Shepherd: "I swear to God Lyr-"

Lyra: "Welcome, my viewers! Once again, I will be discussing: The Unidentified Hominid-shaped Object and Human Abduction Conspiracy Theory!"

Shepherd: "I'm not unidentified! You know me!"

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Next they come across some timberwolves, that are blocking the only way across a river.

Shepherd: "Hmm... We need to get past them, but how?"

Shining: "Fighting them would just draw more of them down on us, so we need a way to distract them."

Shining was already plotting.

Shepherd: "Yeah but how?"

Shining shoves Shepherd into the open with his telekinesis. The timberwolves all look hungrily at the human as he hangs from the smug Shining's hoof via chains.

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Shepherd: "So... Twilight, I gotta ask: How exactly can we understand eachother?"

Twilight: "What do you mean?"

Shepherd: "I'm literally from another planet. Maybe another universe Yet you also speak English? I mean I know the multiverse is infinite and all but even so, that seems a little... Unlikely. For a certain set of infinity, I mean."

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In Shepherd's dreams...

Shepherd looks around at the Krusty Krab.

Shepherd: "This is weird... Why Spongebob? Oh well..."

Luna: "Hello Shepherd."

Shepherd: "Oh, hey Princess Luna! How goes it?"

Luna: "It goes well. I heard my sister offered you a... Proposition."

Shepherd: sighs "Yes."

Luna: "To become the mother of your children?"

Shepherd: "Yes."

Luna: "I see... You know, I'd be happy to take that responsibility."

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A number of stallions trot up to Shepherd as he has a hard cider with Big Macintosh.

Shepherd: "Hey guys. What can I do for you?"

Lucky: "We want your body fluids!"

Shepherd: "Pardon?"

Caramel: "Well... Basically, we want to know why you're so attractive to mares!"

Thunderlane: "Stop stealing our mares, you jerk! You got pony fever, boy! PONY FEVER!"

Caramel: pushes him aside "Don't mind him. Point is, what's the deal? Some kind of alien mind control?"

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Shepherd returns to his home, a great deal on his mind as he ponders the Princess's offer. His lusts aside, having a child is a big responsibility. Sure, he wants to be a father. He's always wanted to be a father.

But in a very real way, becoming a father here will mean that he's given up all hope of ever returning home to Earth. Because he couldn't just abandon his children or their mother. He'd choose them over ever going home to his planet.

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Shepherd: "Hey Twilight. I'm off to Canterlot!"

Twilight: "Oh? What's the occasion? Didn't you just get done with one of your meetings with the Defense Council?"

Shepherd: "Oh, no. That snoozefest is over for another month. I'm off to help the Princesses with Luna's therapy."

Twilight: "Princess Luna's therapy?"

Shepherd: nods "Yeah! Apparently I'm pretty good at massages and touch therapy is really helpful for someone who spent a thousand years in isolation."

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Shepherd went out with Pinkie Pie to hear one of Maud Pie's stand up routines. Pinkie was as excited as she ever was, practically bouncing up and down in her chair. Shepherd sat in the other chair, a bit cramped given it was built for a pony, but he tried to be as comfortable as possible.

Shepherd: "So, Maud's a stand up comic?"

Pinkie: "Oh yeah! She's hilarious! You'll love her!"

Shepherd: "Well, I'll give it a shot."

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Shepherd is taking in the sights of Manehattan, looking around the park. He buys a hotdogs, tries it... And then begins choking as his face turns red..

Shepherd: "HRUKK! HACK! HARGLE!"

He bursts out of the bushes in front of some well to do mares, trying to ask for help.

Shepherd: "HRRRAAAGGHKKK!!!"

Mares: "EEEEEK!"

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Of course, alternatively for the Equestria Girls Verse...

Sunset Shimmer stands in front of Shepherd with a smirk.

Shepherd: "Hello... I kind of need to get to class."

Sunset: "Listen you little punk, I rule this school! You're nothing to me and you'll like it!"

Shepherd: What is she, an 80s movie bully?

Shepherd: "... Uh... Huh. Well! You have a nice day now."

Sunset: "Wha... Why aren't you intimidated?!"

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Shepherd hums a bit as he gets up from bed. He walks into the bathroom, and examines his face. He then pulls out a toothbrush, some toothpaste and begins to brush his teeth.

Shepherd: "Hrr hrr... Hrrr..."

It feels... Strangely tingly. He leans in to look at his teeth... And sees tiny, mite-like creatures skittering all over his pearly whites.

Outside...

Shepherd: "GYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

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Shepherd is invited to a tea party with Fluttershy and Discord.

Shepherd: "Oh hey... Flying s'mores. Nice."

Fluttershy: "Oh, I quite like them!"

Discord: "Do I detect a hint of criticism in your tone, Shepherd?"

Shepherd: "No. It's nice that you're still as food obsessed as a wine aunt on Twitter. Maybe you can put it on Instagram to impress other childless weirdos"

Fluttershy: sigh "Can we please not do this?"

Discord: "What do you mean a wine aunt?!"

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Celestia: "Oh my! I finally have a letter from Shepherd! Let's see..."

Letter: "Dear Princess Celestia. Today I learned that while friendship can be complicated it is actually more resilient than I thought even between species and with patience we can reach out and realize that this letter is actually a distraction while I steal your cake sorry it was for a bet I lost this should be a long enough of a distraction for me to get away later!"

Celestia: "Wait wha-"

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Shepherd was invited to a private party by Pinkie Pie. This wasn't really unusual. It was unusual for her to not be greeting him in whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. Instead, she had a strange metal cylinder dressed up in a party hat.

Pinkie: "Hi Shepherd! Look who I found! Out in the dump of human artifacts! This is Mister Dantive!"

Shepherd: "Dantive?"

Pinkie: "Yeah! It's what's on his name tag!"

Shepherd examines the cylinder, wipes off some tape and gunk on the labels...

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