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Jan
14th
2021

Short Hand: A Common Reference 1 · 3:53am January 14th

Twilight sighed. She'd escaped from her friends due to them bringing up... Their romantic adventures and experiences. Particularly the naughty bits. Things she had no experience with.

Twilight: "I think my problem is that I just don't have any first hoof experience. Hmmm... I know!"

Shepherd the human was enjoying a day off... When Twilight teleported in above him

Twilight: "SHEPHERD!"

Shepherd: "Oh, hello Twilight."

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Sep
27th
2020

Short Hand: The Human Archives 6 · 2:19am Sep 27th, 2020

Back in the human archives, Shepherd is once again going around and checking vaults. Twilight Sparkle is trotting alongside him.

Twilight: "Okay... So that ghost was a bit troublesome. But that doesn't mean every human artifact is going to be trouble! That's statistically improbable!"

Shepherd: "I don't know why, but being human might just throw it all off."

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Nov
3rd
2020

Short Hand: In Depth Research 2 · 4:38pm Nov 3rd, 2020

After Twilight and Shepherd get their heartbeats to a normal rate...

Pinkie: "So wait, ponies and humans have mixed DNA? Hmmm! I guess that might explain why we went from this," suddenly resembles a G1 pony, "to this!" Resembles a G3 Pony "And finally this!" Back to normal!

Shepherd: "For the love of God, NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. EVER."

Pinkie: "Sorry!"

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Dec
21st
2020

Short Hand: The Letter 2 · 3:50pm Dec 21st, 2020

Twilight: "Oh my! A letter from Princess Celestia?! What could it be?"

Letter: "Dear Twilight Sparkle, you should be more aggressive with Shepherd. Here is what you need to do..."

Shepherd goes back to his home after the cake heist. He sighs as he heads into the living room.

Shepherd: "Geez... I got played by Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash! That's like Spock getting outwitted by a tribble."

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Feb
22nd
2021

Short Hand: HUMANS · 4:20am February 22nd

Shepherd is aroused in the middle of the night by loud talking outside his window. He slowly goes to the window, and groans. He opens it, and glares at Lyra, who is standing outside his house in a suit while a film crew records her.

Shepherd: "I swear to God Lyr-"

Lyra: "Welcome, my viewers! Once again, I will be discussing: The Unidentified Hominid-shaped Object and Human Abduction Conspiracy Theory!"

Shepherd: "I'm not unidentified! You know me!"

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Jul
26th
2021

Shining and Shepherd: Survival 2 · 4:44am July 26th

Next they come across some timberwolves, that are blocking the only way across a river.

Shepherd: "Hmm... We need to get past them, but how?"

Shining: "Fighting them would just draw more of them down on us, so we need a way to distract them."

Shining was already plotting.

Shepherd: "Yeah but how?"

Shining shoves Shepherd into the open with his telekinesis. The timberwolves all look hungrily at the human as he hangs from the smug Shining's hoof via chains.

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Aug
21st
2021

Short Hand: Equestrian Differences 2 · 5:44pm August 21st

Shepherd: "So... Twilight, I gotta ask: How exactly can we understand eachother?"

Twilight: "What do you mean?"

Shepherd: "I'm literally from another planet. Maybe another universe Yet you also speak English? I mean I know the multiverse is infinite and all but even so, that seems a little... Unlikely. For a certain set of infinity, I mean."

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Aug
24th
2021

Short Hand: Celestia's Proposal 4 · 4:10pm August 24th

In Shepherd's dreams...

Shepherd looks around at the Krusty Krab.

Shepherd: "This is weird... Why Spongebob? Oh well..."

Luna: "Hello Shepherd."

Shepherd: "Oh, hey Princess Luna! How goes it?"

Luna: "It goes well. I heard my sister offered you a... Proposition."

Shepherd: sighs "Yes."

Luna: "To become the mother of your children?"

Shepherd: "Yes."

Luna: "I see... You know, I'd be happy to take that responsibility."

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Nov
17th
2020

Short Hand: Magic Duel · 2:29pm Nov 17th, 2020

Trixie: "The Great and Powerful Trixie challenges you to a magical duel, Twilight Sparkle! Loser must leave the town: Forever!"

Shepherd: "Or else what?"

Trixie: "I'll burn this town to the ground!"

Shepherd: "Well, I think she's a clear and present danger." Pulls out his shotgun

Twilight: "SHEPHERD!"

Shepherd: "What?! I have rock salt rounds!"

Twilight: "This is a delicate situation... Let me duel her. I'll handle this, okay?"

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Aug
8th
2021

Short Hand: Mister Dantive · 3:12am August 8th

Shepherd was invited to a private party by Pinkie Pie. This wasn't really unusual. It was unusual for her to not be greeting him in whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. Instead, she had a strange metal cylinder dressed up in a party hat.

Pinkie: "Hi Shepherd! Look who I found! Out in the dump of human artifacts! This is Mister Dantive!"

Shepherd: "Dantive?"

Pinkie: "Yeah! It's what's on his name tag!"

Shepherd examines the cylinder, wipes off some tape and gunk on the labels...

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Oct
30th
2021

Short Hand: Monster Slayer · 11:52pm October 30th

Luna visited Shepherd in his dreams, as she often did.

Shepherd: "Mm? What can I do for you, Your Majesty?"

Luna: "it's a special request, really. I need your help."

Shepherd: "Eh? My help?"

Luna: "Yes. Would you like to help me?"

Shepherd: "It would help to know what I would be helping you with."

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Jul
29th
2020

Short Hand: The Dark Emperor Shepherd 2 · 6:27pm Jul 29th, 2020

Meanwhile in Ponyville, the coup and installation of Emperor Shepherd the First had gone unnoticed until it arrived by telegram. Twilight Sparkle read it, rolled her eyes, and sought out Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Dash was napping on a cloud, while Pinkie Pie was trying to play tiddlywinks.


Twilight: "Haha, very funny Rainbow Dash. And Pinkie, this seems like one of your pranks too."


Dash: "Huh? What's so funny?"

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Mar
13th
2021

Short Hand: Obliviousness? · 9:46pm March 13th

Dash: "Seriously Shepherd? We all want to bang you! There are like a dozen mares who want to buck you!"

Shepherd: "Yes, and if I do buck you all, I'll just spend all my time doing that."

Dash: "... And?"

Shepherd: "Yeah, and I don't want to spend ALL my time doing that. Do you?"

Dash: "... Tartarus yes I would!"

Shepherd: "Really? All the time? No breaks? No reading? No cooking?"

Dash: "... Well we wouldn't make you buck us all, all the time..."

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Apr
7th
2021

Short Hand: Starlight Needs Some Sugar · 8:58pm April 7th

After yet another attempt at getting Sunburst to accept her romantic feelings... Yet another attempt that failed horribly... Starlight slams down at the Cutie Map table and sobs into her front hooves as Shepherd and Spike sat playing cards.

Starlight: SOB "HOW CAN HE KEEP DOING THIS TO ME?! I'VE GIVEN EVERY SINGLE HINT A MARE CAN GIVE!"

Spike: "Maybe he's not into you that way?"

Starlight: "HE CAN'T BE! HOW COULD HE NOT BE?! I'LL TURN INTO A STALLION IF I NEED TO!"

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Oct
3rd
2020

Short Hand: In Depth Research 1 · 10:54pm Oct 3rd, 2020

Twilight was once again doing some research on Shepherd, and analyzing the data from her sensors attached to him. Shepherd was working very hard on staying patient.

Shepherd: sigh "... Twilight-"

Twilight: "Not yet... I'm not finished..."

Shepherd: "I am."

Twilight: "Not yet!"

Shepherd: "I'm going to pull off the sensors-"

Twilight: "Just a second! And... Done!"

She beams at him.

Shepherd: "Okay... And your conclusion is...?"

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Nov
3rd
2020

Short Hand: Young Flier's Competition · 3:05am Nov 3rd, 2020

Twilight: "Sorry your body wouldn't accept the magic cloud walking spell, Shepherd! I'm working on it, don't you worry!"

Shepherd: In the balloon "I'm all right! Just keep me anchored, please."

Twilight: "Don't worry dear! You'll be fine!"

Cue the Sonic Rainbow!

While everypony else is cheering... Shepherd is blown away in the hot air balloon.

Twilight: "OH WOW RAINBOW DASH THAT WAS SO AMAZING AND-Oh dear where is Shepherd?! WHERE IS MY BALLOON?!"

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Aug
8th
2021

Short Hand: A Friendly Gesture · 5:41pm August 8th

Twilight: "Hello Shepherd! What's that smell?"

Shepherd: "Well, given you need more calories as an alicorn, I thought I'd whip you up some Earth foods packed with energy!"

Twilight: "Oh, that is so sweet-What did you make?"

Shepherd: "A full Mexican platter! Tamales, tacos, and-"

Twilight: "QUESADILLAS?!"

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Aug
8th
2021

Short Hand: Shepherd and Poison Joke · 8:36pm August 8th

Shepherd is in Twilight's lab again...

Shepherd: "Do we have to keep doing this, Twilight?"

Twilight: "You are literally the only human I have! The only human on this entire planet! You evolved in an ecosystem without any magic! You are completely unique!"

Shepherd: "Says the magic alicorn."

Twilight: "Well, that's not very unique on this planet! You are! So we need to examine you as you continue to adapt to our environment!"

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Sep
2nd
2020

Short Hand: Whipping them into Shape 1 · 3:48am Sep 2nd, 2020

Shepherd does have to actually do his knightly duties, and so he does have to travel to Canterlot on occasion to talk to members of Canterlot's military forces. Including General Hardtack, head of the Royal Equestrian Army.

Hardtack: "Gotta say Shepherd, you do good work for a soft handed ape!"

Shepherd: "Thanks... I think."

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Mar
29th
2021

Short Hand: After Equestria Girls... · 4:03am March 29th

After Twilight returns from the Human World...

Shepherd: "So, it was another Earth?"

Twilight: "Yes, populated by humans but it clearly wasn't your planet. I'm sorry."

Shepherd: sighs and shrugs "I see... Oh well. So, did you enjoy yourself over there?"

Twilight: "Yes... I ..."

She looked back and forth around, and then at Shepherd when she was sure they were alone.

Shepherd: "You...?"

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Viewing 1 - 20 of 86 results