This is InkTapper!

It's been a while, hasn't it? I apologize for my absence, it's been a very difficult three or four years. Because of the choices I've made, I cast myself out into the more violent waters that life has to offer those who've become detached from the networks of people keeping themselves afloat and it's taken a lot of effort to begin paddling back to shore. There are times the currents are gentle and the breeze is warm and you can close your eyes as the sea cradles you high above the ground and there are times the undertow rips you to pieces, drags you through the salty midnight depths of the cold and inky water where there is nowhere to hide and no way to run from the suffocating waves that fill your lungs with empty despair. When the pain is too much, when the tide has rejected you and left you to bleed ashore under the unforgiving fires of the sun, when your waterlogged frozen body is left to dry out, an offering to the native ants, when you've hit absolute zero, when you truly reach rock bottom,

the only place left to look is up.

I'm not the same person as I was when I made this group, but I have the same goals and I'm doubly determined to reach them. I've been through a ton of hurt, I've seen worlds of living corpses, shattered minds and empty hearts, glazed over eyes with nowhere to look to, nothing to see. I've seen death. I've seen blood. I've seen drug-addled minds and family outcasts with no home and no one to love except the child they couldn't take care of. I saw a world I never thought I'd leave. I saw a day that I thought would be my last, hoped would be my last.

But something dawned on me. It caught my attention with a start like a cold fist in my eye. Depression, anger, anxiety, hopelessness, jealousy, fear- it isn't a disease.

It's a drug.

What we think, what we feel, no matter how compelled we are to turn towards it, it's a choice. When people don't recover it isn't because they can't; it's because they don't want to, and it's this deceptive guise of powerlessness that makes a person so petrified to face themselves. It's true that some people are so scared to think differently that they can't pull their face out of the dark, can't turn around and get the help they need. But it's because they've given into the constant emotion that gives them a superficial hole to hide from their own minds in that they can't be helped.

I learned the hard way that there's no greater cowardice than depression, no greater weakness than anger, no greater distraction than pain, but the good news is that for those who are willing to look at themselves and realize what they need, there's a way out. The hardest part is facing your number one fear, and for most people suffering from depression that number one fear is caring. Not only caring about yourself, but about your future, about your family or your friends, becoming the person that you wish you had in your life. One who smiles, helps, works, plays and laughs, one who cares and forgives unconditionally and one who can handle pain as not a symptom but as a challenge to overcome.

If you're reading this, and you truly want to be helped, it's time to turn around and be worth something, be a helper, be kind and be happy no matter how unhappy you are.

You're already free; it isn't until you've learned that that you'll be freed.

As always, reply or come talk to me- I'm always willing to chat. Have a great day!

Comments ( 57 )
  • Viewing 38 - 57 of 57

Hey. I tried and I failed. So instead I try to guilt trip myself saying that my friends need me and I'll leave them alone if I do suceed. But I know, everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain. But you can't have a rainbow without a little rain. That quote stayed with me for so long, through the divorce of my parents and the bullies long ago. So stay strong everyone, even if you think suicide is the only solution, it's not. You just can't see it, it's somewhere. I'm not gon be like those cunts who tell you to exercise and have walks, that'll fix you, no. You know it won't. You tried before but it can't. What if the outside world makes you anxious? The answer is don't think about it. Think about what's in front of you, not of your past but your present. Think of your future. Think of the people that might be happy to see you.

Maybe there's no one there. Maybe you're alone. But I'll be there, even if you don't know me. I've always wondered: a person who sits alone. In lunch, at work, at home, everything. Alone. Does that make him scared or fearless?

I don't know the answer to everything. I just hope for the best.

Hello, my name is Sakura, and I have multiple personality disorder. I've been bullied about it, and most people won't listen to me. I've been feeling really suicidal, and I would very much like some help.

Because of a small multitude of times i was an idiot social deviations, i never had a lot of friends growing up. i had maybe one good friend through high school, and even that one has faded.
Now im in the army. in FUCKING Afghanistan. Im the only brony for miles and miles and miles around. and i have no friends to really talk to.
but im still here.
i made it on my own.
and even though it hurts, being alone for as long as i have, you dont have to be the same way.
a great man once said you need a lot of things to get across the universe; a warp drive, wormhole refractors.. but the thing you need most of all is a hand to hold.
I can be that hand to hold, that shoulder to lean or cry on, that ear to listen. Rant to me, Vent to me, Tell me about your day.
Im here. Im always here for you. Because i know that feeling of solitude, of hurt. Like no one could understand how it feels not to have anyone, to look around you and never quite fit in.
Send me a message.
because in 900 years of time and space, i've never met anyone who wasn't important.:twilightsmile:

hey I am a dragon who has tried and failed to kill myself and well just want some help

382650 I get you. I know what it's like to be bullied... For me it's often in person and here on Fimfiction. Recently my friend (bit more than a friend.) Helped me realize that my past is just that. My past. If you want, feel free to talk to me. I'll be willing to help to any extent. I know what it's like to hurt deep down and no one really notices. But I overcame what I could. :twilightsmile::heart:

To this who may know me, you may be surprised to learn that I've felt like doing suicide before, and someone/something helped me through those dark times. I want to help other people who feel the same way as I did. Just send me a pm.

386023 If you ever need anything, my door is always open.


Today in Australia it is R U OK Day! It is a day where depressed and lonely people are acknowledged, and we (the people of Australia), are encouraged to ask the people we know, are they doing ok?
So my question to you is R U OK?
If you are feeling sad, hopeless, alone or depressed, please seek help, because each and every one of you is more loved and cared for, than you could ever imagine!
As our lives move forward, different people come into our lives, and just maybe, your new best friend, and one day your soul mate, will magically appear, and you won't even remember this time now, as your life fills with joy, love and happiness!
My gift to you, which I am physically unable to do, as I don't think any of you should give anyone on any Internet site your identifying details, is a purple pen! Purple is a powerful colour, it reminds us of beauty and strength, and that someone believes in you, even if it is someone way, way, away in Australia. I write with a beautiful purple pen, (and I also have an awesome bright pink one for contrast), that reminds me to stay strong, and many people comment on my pens. However, it reminds me that I can get through another day, and things are so much better when written in purple! Writing in bright pink just makes me happy!
It is my secret strength when times are tough, that I can do it, even if it is just get through this day!
I would also love you to buy a couple of extra purple pens, and give them to your parents, or to someone at school, even anonymously, with a note that says how happy you are that they are in your life! Imagine if you received a pen with a note like that! Would that make a difference to you? Well be that person, the one that makes a difference, and I would like you, to let me know, how you felt doing it for someone else, and if the purple pen helps you!
R U OK?
Annie :heart:

395361 thank you I needed a new heart i might have lost mine a couple of years ago

395281 ok i guess how about you

Hey, everyone, new member here. I've been struggling with depression for a few years now, and being a member on this site didn't really help at first. In fact, when I posted my first story, it was heavily criticized, and I've felt like a failure and a loser since then. But I've posted other stories since then that have been more successful, and I feel a lot better about myself now, even though the depression isn't gone entirely.

I'm glad to know I have a place to go for some comfort, and I want to do what I can to help others in this group, too. So, if anyone feels bad, and wants to chat, I'm here. I'm not very social, but that doesn't matter as long as I can help someone who's suffering like I was/am.

Have a good day, everyone! :pinkiesmile:

I just need to get this off my chest, I'm sorry if this offends anyone.

My life for the past year has been utter horseapples. I suffer from depression, and struggle with suicide and self harm on a daily basis.

If anyone has a moment to talk I'd appreciate it, thankyou

Comment posted by OverJoyedWalrus deleted Jan 18th, 2015

Hey this is a group for me. Idk if im depressed, and i cant talk to my parents about it cuz my mom will get mad. And also i get cyberbullied alot and since i joined this site last night, i gotten cyberbullied in a group i created but i delete their comments and ban them if i can. I have two friends helping me out. Anyways my mom also can be mean. Sometimes she labels me and calls me names. She used to hit me but not anymore. I used to scratch my wrist up with scissors until my mom found out twice and took them away. I did that bc of how she treated me. And i dont trust anybody but my online friends. Just thought Id share...

Hi! I'm Keam...
I'm here because of several different reasons. I over-dramatise. My main problem is that when I'm happy, I'm 100% filled with pure joy, but normally,especially while in school, I have a hard time letting my self be happy. I make my self look at everything from a negative/sad/depressing angle and generally try to not be happy even though I want to be happy. For some reason, my mind can't accept being happy...

344899 What is an easy way to gain friends in a school that hates you?

Today in Australia it is R U OK Day! It is a day where depressed and lonely people are acknowledged, and we (the people of Australia), are encouraged to ask the people we know, are they doing ok?
So my question to you is R U OK?
If you are feeling sad, hopeless, alone or depressed, please seek help, because each and every one of you is more loved and cared for, than you could ever imagine!
As our lives move forward, different people come into our lives, and just maybe, your new best friend, and one day your soul mate, will magically appear, and you won't even remember this time now, as your life fills with joy, love and happiness!
My gift to you, which I am physically unable to do, as I don't think any of you should give anyone on any Internet site your identifying details, is a purple pen! Purple is a powerful colour, it reminds us of beauty and strength, and that someone believes in you, even if it is someone way, way, away in Australia. I write with a beautiful purple pen, (and I also have an awesome bright pink one for contrast), that reminds me to stay strong, and many people comment on my pens. However, it reminds me that I can get through another day, and things are so much better when written in purple! Writing in bright pink just makes me happy!
It is my secret strength when times are tough, that I can do it, even if it is just get through this day!
I would also love you to buy a couple of extra purple pens, and give them to your parents, or to someone at school, even anonymously, with a note that says how happy you are that they are in your life! Imagine if you received a pen with a note like that! Would that make a difference to you? Well be that person, the one that makes a difference, and I would like you, to let me know, how you felt doing it for someone else, and if the purple pen helps you!
R U OK?

  • Viewing 38 - 57 of 57
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